Columbia University College of Pharmacy - Apothekan Yearbook (New York, NY)

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just transferred from another train. That first part of the trip was filled with a variety of scenes and experiences, many of which seemed strange and unreal. Gal- loping alongside of the train on a magnifi- cent white stallion, was Hopalong Harlan, the pride of the Texas prairie. His par- ticiples were dangling from the saddle, while he frantically tried to mend a split infinitive. As the line of cars sped by the horseman, the passengers could hear him shouting, and although the words were un- intelligible, they could make out the phrase incendiary bomb. The engineer slowed down as the train passed through a little Indian village. In the early dusk, the tourists could see a medicine man, Dr. Lonesome Levi, sitting before his tepee and drawing strange sym- bols in the sand: X A dy dx S L »; but these were promptly forgotten by the gang in the coach. At one point in the trip, the monotony was temporarily relieved when a tall, paunchy man entrained and, while perspir- ing profusely, harangued the stupefied audience on the philosophy of St. Thomas Aquinas. Lothario Luthin, as the traveling evangelist called himself, didn ' t stay long. When the fellows fled to the parlor car for refuge, he gave up in disgust and hopped off the train as it slowed down for a curve. Soon after this incident, a travelling show got on board, and offered to entertain the weary throng. Best part of the act was the Amazing Anzelmi, Master Magician. From water he produced wine, and vice-versa. With a wave of his hand he brought forth explosions and lightning flashes, and kept the spectators thoroughly absorbed. When the more boisterous of the onlookers got out of control, the bouncer and muscle-man for the show, H. J. Amsterdam, reduced their excess pounds to grains without showing any scruples. This show was sponsored by Whimsical Wimmer, salesman of Wimmer ' s Panacea, a secret formula handed down from Claudius Q. Galen. It was a guaran- teed cure for corns, callouses, common colds, chilblains, catarrh, chronic colitis, cataleptic convulsions and cardiac collapse. After the performance, Calm Carter showed the prospective buyers of this cure-all many of the details of its manufacture, complete with chemical equations. Just about this time, the conductor came by and punched everybody ' s tickets. This marked the end of the first leg of the journey. Early the following morning, while the tired voyagers were still asleep, a sharp report rent the air. As bleary eyes opened and heads turned, the sound was repeated, and there in the middle of the car stood Leering Liberman, his long,snake-like whip raised again. When everyone ' s attention was finally focused on the newcomer, he started ranting and raving at the cowed assemblage. He analyzed their characters quantitatively and qualitatively, and when one poor unfortunate began to doze c again, the Master gave his 20 lashes with a length of Bunsen tubing, till the poor wretch reached his end-point and changed colors. A bustling character elbowed his way down the aisle toward the control board. Then he proceeded to play with the buttons, causing panels to slide, windows to open, steel shutters to clang and lights to flicker, all the while mumbling meaningless phrases in a New England accent. As they, led him away still struggling, he kept shrieking, But I tell you that I ' m Fearsome Farwell. After this interlude, the ravenous horde descended on the dining car for breakfast. The smiling head-waiter eloquently ex- plained, in polysyllabic words, the inner- most secrets of the flowers adorning the tables. If the service isn ' t just right, he said, one finger raised in the air, just call on Frank Pokorny. On looking at the menu, one of the diners let out a surprised cry, But this is in Ger- man! The waiter, an obliging chap named 24

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Ingenhuett, promptly bustled over and translated the meaningless jumble. The breakfast orders were promptly filled by an immaculate chef in a white cap who neatly sliced microscopic sections of beef, for the specialty of the day, Halsey ' s Hash, which he concocted with loving care. In a corner of the kitchen, his arms and face covered with flour, was Baker Brown, Halsey ' s chief cook and bottle-washer. There was an intent expression on his face as he elegantly kneaded and pounded the doughy mass into perfect spheres, cones and other shapes, with accuracy, neatnesb and dispatch. At approximately the mid-point of the trip, there was a brief interruption, due to war- time shortages (of manpower) and the conductor announced that the running time would be longer than originally scheduled; the engine was disconnected and the coach remained standing on a siding. It wasn ' t very long before a through train was flagged and stopped, the coach hooked on, and the journey resumed. It did not take long for the adventurers from the stalled train to mingle with those of the express to which they were joined. Their interests were similar, and the initial part of both expeditions had many points in common. The tall fellow wearing glasses made a willing fourth in the ever-lasting card game — Arnold Diamond ' s the name and pi- nochle ' s my game. The one person on the train who re- mained ignorant of the union of the two contingents was Ralph Saltzman. He re- mained asleep, blissfully unaware of his surroundings, probably worn out from shadow boxing. Shep Cantor cornered Al Fremont and started explaining to him the various attractions of a matinee perfor- mance. Seeing two well-proportioned men in one spot, Bernice Jacobson wormed her way into the lecture and listened enrap- tured. The bony race-track sharpy who looked as though he had a hanger in his jacket kept hovering over the red-headed Barbara Keenan. Jack London, why don ' t you be- have yourself, . she scolded. Take a pow- der, Jack, Irv Wahl suggested, whereupon the comic whipped out a BC and swallowed it, paper and all. The plumpish, young-looking fellow be- 26