Columbia University College of Pharmacy - Apothekan Yearbook (New York, NY)

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Charles W. Ballard, Ph.Ch., Phar.D., A.M., Ph.D. Chairman MATERIA MED ICA DEPARTMENT Since Socrates sucked the succulent sap of the poison hemlock, the department of Materia Medica has constantly reminded us how and why men live and die for science. In fact the department being on the spot at the time, and all being specialists in a single subject, have analyzed the situation with a cold exactness and taken the pains to illustrate the historical event so that this year book will forever contain a record of each one ' s selective eye. Professor Taub only noticed the muscular twitchings, especially of the eyelids, and the marked incoordination of the peripheral muscles. He insisted that the eyelids were dilated but not as irregu- larly as the young lady ' s in the subway at another historical event. He doesn ' t have to mention it because we know that the antidote must be strychnine or a half pound of salt — it always is. Socrates only took three grams and Professor Taub says he knows of cases where that much was taken without harm — but, that was in Africa on a leopard hunting expedition where conditions were different because the men had rheumatism and were not in a good state of health. Impossible? — No, that is very easily proven by Dr. Muckenfuch ' s formula for a sick adult ' s dose: 2P + yP 4 U x= Age — Weight (Stripped) Where X = dose for adult in bad health y=patient ' s height P= atmospheric pressure and U = Urgency of situation Dr. Ballard would have more to say had it not been a fatal dose. He would insist that the alkaloid is Coniine. Probably because the drug is Conium. He would draw the structural formula for the class from his little Lilly booklet. It is clearly a condensation product of two bagel rings and a 1-2 — di-Bublic- muctane group attached at the point of least resistance to a Schatz pessary. Had Socrates taken three grains instead of three grams; Dr. Ballard could have told the world of the marvelous alterative properties of Conium. Here is exactly how he would have done it in his usual style: -DEPRESSION -TOO CONIUM VOLUNTARY NERVE ENDINGS BOOM -DEATH E Dr. Redden was right there to administer first aid until rigor mortis set in. His treatment was simple — hold your first aid card in one hand, the patients hand in the other, give a shot of alcohol and don ' t let him die until the doctor arrives. Alternative treatment — Call in a priest and drink hot coffee. Something similar happened to Dr. Redden when he was enroute to Yellow- stone Park. A man fell down a mountain, fell two miles, started an avalanche.

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gators received absolutely no assistance from either Mr. Givens, who, after one semester with the class of ' 42, decided he just wasn ' t made to be a teacher, or from Prof. Taub, who seems to be a bit more perseverent. We really began to enjoy our chemical training in the senior year while pondering over the intricate determinations of Quantitative Pharmaceutical Analysis. Actually, we were taking a glorified quantitative analysis course without having to worry about equilibrium equations and ionization constants. The carrying out of official determinations and U. S. P. assays acquainted us with the work experienced by chemists throughout the pharmaceutical in- dustry. The use of delicate instruments by some of our none too delicate students kept the work interesting. We covered quite a bit of ground in this pharmaceutical analysis course mainly because our previous training in this work had acquainted us with the technique of scooping precipitates from the desk and qs-ing to 100 cc. in a 1000 cc. beaker, so the error would be practi- cally negligible — 40% more or less. We did quite a bit of calculating during the course but there was one phenomenon we were never able to figure out: why is it that a student who hands in the mean of two results that are as far apart as Klein is from being a pharmacist, can receive an A, while another set of results obtained with perfect precision will not get nearly as good a mark? In this chemical age, we are indeed thankful that we have been able to study as much chemistry as we did. There is no industry today, no science, no business, no art or field of endeavor that is not in some way dependent upon a knowledge of chemistry. We ' ve learned chemistry, and discounting the times we fooled around a little, we ' ve learned it well. It ' s not our fault that we have an efficient Chemistry Department. God bless them with gold atoms! Sitting: Mr. S. Liberman, Prof. A. Taub, Dr. A. DiSomma, Mr. E. Anzelmi Standing: Mr. S. Bell, Mr. Weil, Mrs. A. DiSomma

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rolled over once at the bottom — and was not hurt. He breathed peculiarly . . . once every five minutes. He was responding to treatment nicely until a huge copperhead snake crept up and bit him. The snake ' s elliptical eyes, inflamed anal spot, and forked fangs marked the snake as poisonous. Dr. Redden ran into his hip pocket and fetched the universal antidote — Spiritus Frumenti. The victim lay helpless. Coma, respiratory, paralysis, and death followed. If Socrates was given first aid treatment he would have died the same way. Professor Hart was also there with an oil immersion lens in one hand and Dr. Blumberg in the other. She was waiting for those secondary invaders to set in. The organism to watch out for in this case is the virulent smooth colony, virus of Treponema Coniaceaeaeaeaeaeaeii (more commonly known as Poison Hemlock Fever); a member of the Spirochetales, local No. 606, until recently disproven by the late Dr. E. Pluribus Newman of the Chronological Institute in South Africa. Dr. Newman incidentally also proved that a bacteria is the rear of a cafeteria, to sulphur is to bear pain, and oxygen is to ask a question a second time. Dr. Blumberg agreed. He always does. Mr. Pokorny did not even look at Socrates. He picked up the pieces of drug and proceeded to identify them in order to see if it was a U.S. P. sample. Pokorny said he saw it growing in Central Park. Honestly fellows — How many know where the Indian Caves are? Well — by the first cave — around that shoe tree, by the little brook, behind the statue of Eddie Kohen hanging from the lampost, by the big rock— there— IS A POISON HEMLOCK! Directly opposite it is a poison Yalelock. Both are in the same family and both are used as bitter tonics and blood purifiers. Don ' tcha see? Paying tribute to the specialists of the Materia Medica department in this way may seem a bit strange, but may we say, respectfully, that after four years at Columbia, the graduating class leaves with nothing in their minds but respect and honor for the intellect of this department. Sitting: Prof. F. Hart, Dr. C. W. Ballard, Dr. R. Halsey Standing: Mr. F. Pokorny, Dr. B. Blumberg