Collegiate School - Torch Yearbook (Richmond, VA)

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Why of course, replied Elizabeth. Buy Wise - Slenderizeln Panicl squawked a very red face that had just sprawled headlong into the caviar. The congregation gasped in amazement to see Ann Huxley, prominent Virginia poet, sitting atop a plate of sandwiches. She soon, however, regained both balance and dignity and resumed her conversation with the gay young divorcee, jane X. It should be here noted that X is not her real name, but after the third husband Miss Durham assumed this to give her an added air of mystery, and to avoid confusion. Miss X, who is head of the Virginia Poetry Society, was discussing Miss Huxley's latest Poem, l'0n First Looking Into Chapmans Hockey. Bernadine, Bernadette, Bernice, and just plain Bernard escorted in their mother, the matronly Mrs. Mary Reid Beanblossom. Mrs. B., soon after her biology course at Collegiate, began raising shrimp, children, and blood pressure, and is today a prominent horticulturist in Virginia. We hnd her peering over her pince-nez at Jeanne Hervey, who arrived breathlessly from the gala opening of Jolly jeanne's Pool Hallf, This is only a branch of her already thriving establishment on Henri Road. Hallelujah, Brethren, chanted out social worker, Katherine Williams, who never misses an opportunity to hold a session. At any gathering she immediately passes around a collection plate while singing 'That Old Rotten Sheet. A blast of trumpets announced the arrival of that daring vocalist and bubble dancer, Miss Sally Montgomery. It is rumored that she was otferediall the gold in Fort Knox for a single performance, but replied in a wistful tone, Skip it. lt's not Sylvie! Drifting among the guests, we find one of our most intriguing characters, Hopalong Wharton. Lonesome jane, as she is called by her good friends, lives now at the Broken Bones Inn and is the art adviser of the new movie, Thud, I'm a Many Splintered Thing. Also, among the guests was Admiral Anne McCrackle the hrs-t lady Admiral in the U. S. Navy. Admiral McCrackle is in charge of the Misery Department at Bainbridge, Maryland, and has just succeeded in abolishing crew cuts for Navy recruits. Miss Cary Spicer left the party in a hurry to put through a call to Maryland. In her hasty exit she almost knocked over Mrs. Harris Hemingway, the, game hunter. We have yet to find out just what type of game she hunts, but it is an established fact that she hunts. just as the party was about to end Champ Boberts came riding upon the Lady Wonder Horse. Champ thwarted the horse's predictions by staying single and now runs a beauty shop for Champ's'Chubby Chums. Behind Champ we End her faithful customer, Daily Holmes. Daily was the first to gointo Champ's salon as Daily and come out Small. As we leave we hear Daily shouting her classic remark, Ulim gonna get my driverls license tomorrow. 36 K

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PROPHECY ON Wednesday, June 4, 1976, the marriage of Miss Amy Deane Mofffitt to the Rev. Pamuel Seters was held at Grace Covenant Church, interrupting Deane's 13,873rd church supper. The marriage was a spectacular attraction since the Reverend per- formed it himself. There was, however, a slight interruption, for just as the strains of Lohengrin were dancing from the strings of the renowned violinist, Maestro Suzanne Bourne, a commotion was raised in the back of the church. How could you have lost a thing like that? wailed Deane to ,the frantic Miss Ashby Dunn, the maid of honor. But he was here a minute ago. I saw him, gasped Ashby. This detail was soon set straight when the Reverend was found sitting beside Miss Martha Kellogg discussing Byronis greatest work, Childe I-Iarolde. After the impressive ceremony, the wedding party progressed to the estate of Mrs. Carol Dwight, the author of that I-Iart-rending best-seller, The Day I Shot Truman. Mrs. Dwight stopped her baby-kissing campaign long enough to autograph the bride's copy of the book.. Across the room we find that illustrious corpuscle chaser, Dr. Louise Florance, who is said to rush in where hemoglobins fear to tread. She is deep in conversation with the business tycoon, Mrs. Mary Bruce Von. Ive-a-Man, whose magazine articles, 'Better Basement Bargains, have been a tremendous success. Mrs. Ive-a-Man is one of the most versatile business women of the day. She heads the swimming staff of the Y, raises singing roosters, and was recently named Mother of the Year. Our attention is turned from this interesting conversation to the dazzling arrival of Mme. Susan Stokes. Mme. Stokes, who is now a prominent night club singer, glided in with a rose in her teeth, singing in her mellow voice, Dance With Me, Herbert. Many of the guests rushed out to see the sky-writing done by Brownie Lee, the aeronautics expert. Miss Lee is not only a leader in the aviation field, but also raises apple orchards in several states. From her plane, the Fruit Fly, she waved best wishes and buzzed on her way. So I said to Fauntleroy, fFauntleroy,' I said, 'you must do something about it. Do you hear me, Fauntleroy?, I said, gushed Elizabeth Wise, prominent socialite and wife of the wealthy potato chip manufacturer. For Betsy Neal, creator of NeaZ's Nilaletsf' the gossip column, was interviewing some of the most outstanding guests. Betsy was following up the tip that .she had gotten about Mr. Wise's latest invention, 21 dietetic potato chip. Have you a last word for us, Mrs. VV ise? inquired Betsy. 35

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UPPER NANCY Cooks LUELLA TOWNLBY SUSAN DABNEY' ,LAURA IRVINE ROBERTSON PETERS GLADIJING 'SIMPKINS Prexzdent Vice-President Seuelary ' Trgggufgf FRANCES BARBARA STUART DOROTHY WINGFIPLLD HELENE KABLE KATHERINE HYDE BALLOU BI-:NNE'I'r EXVING FERGUSON HARNER ELIZABETH PAULA EI.IzAIzETI-I KATHERINE BROWN KAREN LEE VIRGINIA DIANNE FI.oRENcE LAURITZEN McDowEI.I. MOEI-IRI. MCCANDLISH SAVVYER HUGHES PU'-'-F-R ' , 1. Q , -,Z .Q . If ,f A I U ,,,, ,. I Lucv WATKINS EMILY WILLIS JUDITI-I FRANCES MARTHA GORDON LINDA WYATT SUZANNE POWELL SEAY STEELE VANTRPLASE WALLACE WELLS ZoPI-A 37