Collegiate High School - Torch Yearbook (Richmond, VA)

Page 33 text:

Prophecy ELIZABETH PICKETT KENNON, who is still of Norwoodi' and still Miss, recently gave a lawn party at her renowned estate in honor of those sixteen ladies who were her class- mates twenty years ago at the Collegiate School. Miss Kennon, who recently dis- covered three uranium mines behind her barn, still has her men quite perplexed. lt seems that one of her former Hampden-Sydney beaux has worn out several Cadillacs travelling between Richmond and Fine Creek Mills, and has now given up in conster- nation to become her head butler. The First to arrive at the party was the former Miss Peggy Gunn, now an honorary member of the University of Virginia. Peggy, as usual, afraid that the sand- wiches would be gone before she got there, nearly took off the Norwood gate in her hurry to get around the corner. With her was Mrs. Tabb Livingstone, who is an eminent Episcopal missionary to Rome. Mrs. Tabb was recently awarded a medal Cwhich she has had enlargedl for her outstanding direction of a water ballet, Hans Christian Andersen, which she taught to seals in Rome. Her critics say that she is a beautiful swimmer and that the seals had much to learn. Mrs. Eleanor Opperuski, who also arrived with Miss Peggy, has recently returned from her Grande Tour of the Continent, where she and her miniature piano have made quite a hit. She played at several command performances before the Crowned Heads of Europe-and the general opinion is that they were more command than performance. Mrs. Opperuski brought the life of the party in the form of her favorite French Poodle, whom she fondly calls Philippe. Also with this extraordinary party was Lady Aline, formerly known as Cookie, who is now married to an archduke of France, and who made a special trip to America to be at the lawn party. Lady Aline has several French Poodles of her own, but quietly told Mrs. Opperuski that she had never seen one so badly behaved as Philippe. All Mrs. Opperuski said was, CertifyP Mrs. ,lames Stephens, nee Grace Mercer, now Dean of Admissions and President of the Board of Hollins College, arrived in grand style in a bus borrowed from the V. T. C. to accommodate herself and her six redheaded boys. The red hair will always be a mystery-even to Grace. Helping to keep up with the boys was the famous lawyer, Mrs. Von Pressure Cooker Cwife of Judge Von Pressure CookerD, known to most of us as Barbara Baker. Mrs. Von P. C. is now running for a Seat in the Senate and her only opponent is her husband. Miss Shirley Pilkington arrived, suitcase in hand, for she was on her way to Washington to visit. But she was just in time to smell something burning and rescue Miss Kennon's hors d'oeuvres from the oven with only a few of the olives scorched. Mrs. Shakespeare-Smith Cthe former Miss Anne PyleD, said she didn't mind scorched olives, and she would Cat some if everyone would promise not to smoke her cigarettes while she did. i'Anyone for a hand of Bridge? asked Micky. Micky is now greatly renowned for her column Samantha on Bridge, and if she is at a party she immediately begins setting up tables and looking for chairs. 27

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East ill and zstamtnt WE, the Senior Class of The Collegiate School, in the year of our Lord nineteen hundred and fifty-five, being of sound and disposing mind, do hereby draw up and publish this, our Last Will and Testament, to wit: I, BARBARA BAKER, leave Linda Wells at peace. I, LUCY BoswELL, leave this Pooh Bear to Miss Duncan with love from me and a wink from Christopher Robin. I, ADRIENNE GOULD, leave one popsicle to any Collegiate girl to eat for lunch while on a diet. I, MARY GRATZ, leave, wishing I had come sooner. I, PEGGY GUNN, leave a bottle of Cunn's New Miracle Remedy for use for swollen noses and broken cartilages. I, ELIZABETH KENNON, leave to Sally Montgomery-NOTHING. I, MARY KUEHL, leave my hypothesis for making parallel lines meet to the incoming geometry class. I, GRACE MERCER, leave my voice to Judy Vantrease for use in the school in case of fire. I, ELIZABETH MILTON, leave Madame with best wishes to the King and Queen of France. I, BETSY MINOR, leave my desire to be Desiree. I, ELEANOR OPPENHIMER, alias Baby, leave Collegiate and return to Deedee. I, COOKIE PAYNE, leave my French book to Miss Woodson for use in future examina- tions. I, SHIRLEY PILKINGTON, leave for the North with my pockets jingling with Con- federate coins. I, ANNE PYLE, leave my instant, lightning quick recipe for making an A to Lucy Seay. I, MICKY ROBINSON, leave my narrow hips and a recipe for them to Blair Jones. I, BERNICE SPATHEY, leave my Daddy to the hockey team, knowing that he will cheer them on in the future as he did us in the past. I, TABB THORNTON, leave this box of Band-Aids to Harris Butterworth for her next victim on the hockey field. WE, the Senior Class, leave an envelope to the Class of 1965 to be opened by their president on their Class Day. WE, the Senior Class, leave unmarried with our lingers crossed. WE, the Senior Class, leave seventeen pairs of bloomers to Miss Chapman to replace any which may be lost in the future. WE, the Senior Class, leave, taking with us our wonderful memories of Miss Cowles and all that she has meant to each one of us. WE, the Senior Class, leave seventeen Kindred Spirits to Miss Moon and thank her for all that she has made our senior year at Collegiate. 26

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But Miss Elizabeth Minor, world famous for her technique in conducting Nursery Schools, stole the show with her own musical rendition of, ls That You, Santa Claus? Anyone wishing to obtain a printed copy of this tune may find one completely il- lustrated by the performer with little Henrys. Miss Bernice Spathey was overheard to remark that she didnit see how anyone could illustrate anything with little Henrys-but as for a horse, she had a fine Ten- nessee Walker named Henry. And her prize Duke U. the first is expected to win the Kentucky Derby for the eighth consecutive year this spring. Arriving at the party, late as usual, was Miss Lucy Boswell, world famous author, who had her Nash piled high with many copies of her latest novel-each carefully autographed and marked Author's Copyf, But surprisingly enough, no one had ever heard of it, and she couldn't even prevail upon Miss Kennon to give them away as party favors. Mrs. Dior, the former Miss Adrienne Could-, was with Miss Boswell, holding the doors of the Nash lest they fall off, and ready to get out and push if the occasion should present itself. Mrs. Dior is now a famous fashion designer who makes it her duty to create for her clients the exact opposite of fashions from France. It is quite an honor Can expensive honorb to be the wearer of an '4Adrienne Original. The only tragedy of the day occurred when Miss Mary Cratz spilled grape punch on the white suit which Mrs. Einstein Cformerly Miss Mary Kuehll was wearing. Miss Cratz gave her humblest apologies and explained that since having given her Chapel talk at Collegiate some years before, she had not been quite the same. But of course Mrs. Einstein didn't mind at all about the suit and said that her famous scientist husband could clean it and that it was only made of spun glass. Spun glass! exclaimed Mrs. Io Doodla, who graduated from Collegiate as Elizabeth Milton, and now has the honor of being the youngest grandmother on the East Coast. Doesn't it stick you?,' Mrs. Einstein dodged a mint sprig that Mrs. Doodla was waving around, and said, No indeed.-And tell me Mrs. Doodla, what did you do when you grew up and found out that your name was Elizabeth? Over the buzz of the successful party, the answer was not heard, but perhaps we shall hear it if we all meet again in the future. 28