College of New Rochelle - Annales Yearbook (New Rochelle, NY)

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Maura’s R.A. staff (without Karenann)

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MAURA O ne room in CNR’s oldest and quaintest dorm, Maura Hall. The hall itself is equipped with many attractive features, such as easy access to both the Physical Plant and Mail Room. No long waits for dead rodent remov¬ al or journeys of epic proportions to pick up those packages from Mom here .. . Maura Hall also proudly offers a serene, majestic ballroom, breath-taking staircase and, for the music- lover, a choice of pi¬ anos to satisfy any taste. Of course Maura’s rooms come in a variety of sizes, from singles roomy enough for three to triples cozy enough for one. And the best feature of all is the thrill of discovering just what room is in store for you. Y ou’re dressed to kill and ready to en¬ ter the place where dreams come true - - MAURA BALLROOM. Win¬ dows dressed in folds of carnation brocade frame a band on stage and a bevy of glowing classmates - - with dates. The night passes too quickly, and as the band plays its last set, everyone is left wanting more. That is, ev¬ eryone except the four floors of residents who weren’t invited and can’t wait for their beds to stop shaking. Their only thoughts are of stuffing the folds of carnation brocade down the band’s throats and biding their time until their class can celebrate its mo¬ mentous occasion. Maura Hall slumber party? Get to sleep! — Maura

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I t’s Ursula Hall. The sleepy-eyed col¬ lege student lethar¬ gically ambles into the bathroom to start her day. The unsuspecting victim is innocently trying to regain con¬ sciousness when, with¬ out warning, it hap¬ pens. THE FLUSH! Scalding water rushes through the shower head. The victim is mo¬ mentarily stunned. She throws her body jj against the wall for pro- ' tection but the damage j has been done. Her once soft, supple | scalp now begins to ; steam like a whistling tea kettle. Though in excruciating pain, the victim manages to | muster the strength to launch a verbal barrage at the offender. More often than not, these comments fall on deaf i cars. The perpetrator flees the scene of the crime before a positive identification can be made. The victim then l proceeds to dry herself off, apply some burn ! cream to her smolder¬ ing scalp and vow that | one day, no matter | what it takes, she will I hunt down this inhu¬ mane criminal, estab¬ lish this person’s show- er time and Flush and Flush and Flush ... “We’re doing this for the cam era. We really hate each other.’ 2oyi — Ursula