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Page 145 text:
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t)}ir hitnilytti thirl ij-pvi ' WliMt is tlu ' iiiost |ioinil;ir vmciukii clean- er? Cecil: A shampoo. — X — Haynuin (rather aiifiry): Ydimfr man, (hi you know anytliinfr aliout this course? Chief: A little, sir. What woultl you like to know? — X — Prof. Smith: The class will now name some of the lower specie.s of animals, start- ing with Mr. Miller. — X — Sjiringer (in Psychology class): And what is it that endows men with the sense of second power, redoubles his energy, and makes the red corpuscles course faster? Corwin H.: Yeast tablets. — X — Rastus( at dance): Mandy, am yo pro- gram full? Mandy: Lawdy, no, Misah Cubes, it takes mo ' dan two san ' wiches and a cup of tea fob dat. — X — Rahy Tolles: For the love of .Mike, lend me two bits. Bill Godfrey: Who is Mike? I don ' t know him. — X — Bruce, have you ever played the game of love? Just since Christmas, but I needed a shave and was disqualified for unnecessary roughness. — X — .Fobn Postletlnvaite( at Sheps) :Tea or coffee? Coffee, without cream. John: You ' ll have to take it, sir with- out milk; we ' re out of cream. — X — Al, use the word ' eiderdown ' in a sen- tence. It means something about being .soft. Sure! A girl flirted with me in the jiark and I eyed her up and eyed her down. — X — Barber: How did you get your mous- tache in this condition? Customer: I tried to steal a kiss fro-o a girl who was chewing gum. Marie S.: Why did you tell Beryl that secret I told you not to tell her? Lucy: I didn ' t tell her. I Just asked her if she knew it. Marvin B.: Are you going to have din- ner anywhere tonight? Nellie B. (eagerly): Xot that T know of. .Marvin: You ' ll be hungry before morn- ing. Sea Captain (to one of many leaning over the ship rail): Weak stomach, my lad? Boy (nervously): Why, ain ' t I putting it as far as the rest of them? — X — Paul T. : I ' ve lost my notebook. Frances S.: I ost all you know then, haven ' t you? Paul: No. Lost all my Profs, know. — X — I.ucile Stephens: I ' m afraid. Otto, I ' ll never see you in heaven. Otto W.: Great guns! What have you been doing now? — X — Minister: Would you care to join us in the new missionary movement? Doris Kane: I ' m crazy to try it. Is it anything like the fox-trot? --X — VERR K. ' s PRAYER Dear Lord, I ask nothing for Tiiyself, only give my mother a rich and liandsome son-in-law. — X — Manley: What is the difference between a sausage factory and a laundry? Earl Secoy: Both accomplish the same thing, but one u.ses dogs and the other uses collars. Xick: I believe in going with girls of a distinctly opjiosite tyiie. Ernie: I understand your girl is the brightest one in the class. — X — Irate Diner: Waiter! Here ' s a needle in my soup. Waiter (ex-printer): Typographical er- ror, sir; it should be noodle.
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Page 144 text:
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i ■JtLl Ot ' ijM (tin littittlrtii tliirt ii-fimr Pocatello C ' o-td at lioiiii ' Coiniiif]: fiaiiic: Did you see all of the frame ? Ditto: No, C. of I. made one toiirh l ncn just when I had to toiii-h « i my face. ADVKKTISU) ( 11 ' nju lo(fies to niirtCttliui ) By the shores of Cutieura, By the Man-a-cean water. Lived tile prophylartic (liiiUt, Daiiderine, the ll -liiiMr daufrhter She was I t ed hy Klaxon INistuni, Son of Sunkist and X ' ietrola, Heir-ajiparent to the iMazda Of the trihe of t ' oea-eola. Throufrh the forests strolled the lovers ' o()ds luitrod liy An lo-Saxon, Lovely, little wri)rf. ' ley Chielet, ' Were the Inirniiifr words of Klaxon. No r rent- ean [urnel) the lire. ' riioii(. ' h I know youVe still a niere iriiss. Oh. ni Crest-o-lite dcsir -. Let lis marry, ' I ' iniken Djer-Kiss. ' A man shadowed me all the a home yesterday. Did y ni seream? Of eiMirse not. He eirried my para- sol. ' I ' oday ' s feature film: ,lohn eomes home from the hospital in two jiarts, — X — . duet, liy the tailor and hanjjnuin en- titled, It fits well around the neek? — X — A mw Sony-, The hoys all called lii ' r poison, lieiause no one would take her. — X — Smithy ' s sad laTuent: I -net her hy the liriee .ind she jtave me the {rate. — X — The frrave dipfrer ' s love soufr, I ' d move the earth for ()U. -X — ll.iwiian: Wluit is a country estate! ' ( hief: Two trees and a mortpipe. Prof. Hay man discovered his younjr hope- ful ri ' adinfr a dime novel. I ' nhand nie, villain, the detected boy cried, or there will be bloodshed. No, said Haymiin, tifrhteninp his hold on the boy ' s collar. Not bloodshed, wood- shed.
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