College of Idaho - Trail Yearbook (Caldwell, ID)

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O W iKIInlfl ' ll tti ' i lit l -ftiui- was very ai)])ropriatc. Why! Tlif jrirls all wore trousers, troiigcru, iniiid you ! I The most shocking thing! When I was young, we never even thouflhl of sucli a thing. And the things that happened out tliere ' ! Can you inuigine it, they all ate lunch? .lust stuffed themselves and then separated into hunches, mostly twos and wandered around. I noticed Ernest Brown has acconii)lisl e(l it all right with the little Winnie. 1 alone can claim the credit for that. Ernest ' s confidential letter to me has never been i ul)lished in any paper, j uhlic or iirivate, but 1 solved his heart-rending problem for him, and now he is reaping the rewards. Most likely be takes all the credit to himself. We H. H. s (Heart Holsterers) seldom get credit for our work. There was Ralph A. and Helen T. ! They had no busi- ness together. I never advised either one of them. And there were others. Oh ! it was dreadful ! When I was young, such things never happened. That ' s why my heart is free to give comforting advice to erring young people. The Devil ' s Staircase had a malign attraction for most of them; strange, how easily(?) the girls were led down it. And the falls had an influence, too. Several youths unexpectedly fell for certain charming maidens, and evidently landed with a bump when they returned home. Well, I just know some punishment will overtake these wicked people, especially those girls who wore trousers, which I would never do in my young days. April 10 — If Mammy Judy had only asked me, I could have told her that Amos I ' eters was a shifty, no-account niggah, and saved her all the expense of her Crusoe and Johnny Bell ! Evidently, she was unacquainted with Aunt Peggy, who could have soothingly ad- vised her undecided heart and made her choose aright. But I forgot! She bad already chosen, and of course in the |)lay could not jiick ag ain. . Southern I ' inderell.i offered many heart problems to me. Ai)ril 12. — The Men ' s Cilee Club entertained us tonight with varied and queer noi.ses, and charged us for it, too. It was entertaining, tho, to watch their mouths open and .shut in unison, and try to puzzle out what was coming from tbem. I enjoyed watching their ex- pressions during the Love songs. I noticed especially Sam Ilungerford ' s starry look. Of whom was be thinking In the moonlight? ' I1iey said that The bees all followed Mary ' cause .Mary bad the hives — she must also b ive worn trousers sometimes. April 13 — Stub Bryant wrote me a confidential note to lay asking me how to make all the girls like him, so he can make them work on Founder ' s Day. Since he has been elected Founder ' s Day manager, the girl problem has been worrying him almost gray. He doesn ' t feel as tho he can afford to have a date with every girl be wants to put on the committee, but fears they will feel ofl ' ended if he doesn ' t. 1 told bim that the most prac- tical way out of the difficulty was to have each one caught in a pouring rainstorm, and rescue her in his Ford. My simple i)lan seemed to work, since everyone is indeed working hard. Tlir OuK all caiiir oiil lii iiglil .iiul li:i(l .i bliiiUTi ' l),inqml. .inil didn ' t e ' en ask my advice as to the guests they sbnuld bring. Oh! e ! 1 forgot tlia! .Mary Nichols did ask me since .she was very worried about tlu ' m.itt ' r, and was afraid they might think she was running after them. I told her tb.it .Maurice Bramard was a nice, unsus])ecling boy, and would be i)erfectly safe. I ' m glad to see that .she followed my advice. Al)ril H — I knew it! 1 knew il ! Didn ' l 1 say those girls would be jiunisbed? . lot of them are breaking out all over Iheir faces and .irms willi stringi ' and divers out- hursts. They call it Poison O.ik. but 1 know better. It is .i punishment and a just reward for wearing those heathenish trou.sers. Aunt Peggy never fails in her calculations.

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Ohp hitiidrfd txct ' iil if-lhrfe stiff, littk-, .starched skirts, wliilc soon Prof. lU-Ji raiifr in a new dress for liis ])et trunsom, and S])ring spranjr forth In all manners, wliieh reminds me of ,Mason s terrilile tahle man- ners. Mr.s. Van Nuys can ' t do a thinjr with liim since she eaiiie home. t)h, yes, that puts me in mind of how terribly homely Mr. Smith i.s since he shaved his moustache and I never could iniderstand why he wanted to mutilate a newly budding ajipurtenance that might have made him handsome some day. By the way, that was a wonderful day we had yes- terday, all wind and dust just like the dust storms they have back in Kansas. Why, do you know, that as soon as the houses there are cleaned, there always lilows uji a dust storm and covens everything an inch deep, which reminds me of a well we used to have in Indiana — the deepest well I have ever seen, and such clear, jiure water, my! I can taste that water now. Oh, I must not forget about fixing that Hue so the water won ' t come down when it rains and put out the fire. Sure reminds me that this was the month when all the flu raged and nothing of great importance haiijiened because nearly everybody was fluey at sometime or another; in fact I myself felt rather ijueer for some time after the .Junior play. In fact, it rather w-orries me to have anyone around school who shows sucn militar- istic tendencies as Miss Rockwood. She seems to me to have very varied tendencies, since at the beginning of the month her whim was to fall around the school everyday on roller skates, dressed as a little girl, with Marie Snyder as escort in a quaint costume of ancient maidenhood which reminds me of the reports on the election of May Queen which resulted in Ida Delyria achieving the honored position, with Lucy Mller a close second, altho Joe Colton was a favorite with a certain faction which makes me think of my favorite prophecy — that Prof. Springer would be arrested .some day for speeding, and sure enough he was arrested and fined $5.00 which shows that it can be done, and that reminds me of the candy they had at the Debate Dinner given at Hayman ' s. Walter was telling me about how humorous it looked to see Corwin Hin.shaw towering above little Mildred Hanna, he chewing downwards on the string and she gobbling u|i in a race for the candy in the middle. A few .seemed to have enough .sense to break the string before starting which reminds me of the little sense most people possess; as for me, I lack cents, but have some of the un- comnmn variety of .sense which Hank Harger was particularly lacking in when he went over to Finney Hall with the Senate Gavel sticking out of his ])ocket, then, yielding to the bland- ishments of some of the Finney tribe, he did not feel it being extracted, tho, unlike Samson his locks remained intact, but sad fact, poor Hank soon woke up to his dire predicament when he met some of his fellow Senators, which reminds me of the bill they pas.sed in the legislature this year, which was so hotly contested by many of the members of that august body which makes me think of the dog days soon to come when summer approaches with all her grandeur, warmth, and mosquitos which makes me think of the warm reception accorded our Declamation Oration team at Ucxburg, for, altho the snow was just melting there and the atmosphere was frigid as befitting such an altitude, still the warmth of their reception must have had something to do with the contest coming out as it did, which re- mind.s me that I must get Mason to come out with me after I finish this March and help carry some ashes, but I ' m afraid that hasn ' t anytliing to do with this month ' s events which by the way, I ' m sure I have mixed up in a terrible manner because I couldn ' t remember which came when, but the idea is all the same anyhow, which reminds me We had to cut it off here because of lack of space. APRIL Looking thru a lot of discarded Coyote material, we found this sad and April-showery extract from Aunt Peggy ' s heart talks with herself. April 2 — This was the day of the long-anticipated picnic at Jump Creek, which most of the student body attended. They called it a Fool ' s Picnic, and surely it was not named amiss. Considering the awful, shocking things that happened on that daj ' , Fool ' s Picnic

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Our Iniii ' Inil tXi.-t lit ii-fn ' t April 18 — These April showers don ' t seem to affect the official campus jiatrollers. There never will be any danger of this college bein;? raided without due warning. There are so many steady outposts who patrol the campus tw o by two, especially at 12:30 P. M. The girls can all he seen tri]ipiiig along in light fantastic style getting tlie hang of the bumps on the campus, so they will know just where tlie hollows are located when the time comes to stand on one foot Founder ' s Night. Everything is bein g rushed to com])letion for a successful Founder ' s Day, an3 we arc all helping, even I. My part is to keep all heart diseases in calm and peaceful state, so that Founder ' s Day will run smoothly. C. of I. Freshmen — Obeying Orders to a T.