College of Idaho - Trail Yearbook (Caldwell, ID)

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tir htiuilfiil jifttrn As we know. Professor Rankin is a profound matlieniatician and a flaming socialist; many secrets are revealed in his diary of OCTOBER Oct. 2 — Tonite 1 decided to make some observations on the First Columbian Program. I left home at 8:22.3940 P. M. On the way I decreased my speed by 9 2 119c for a distance of 42.001 meters to observe Betelgeuse, and noted a slight decrease in the scintillations from that celestial body. I accelerated my speed back to 10 miles per hour, but forgot to allow for my inertia where I reached the Sterry entrance. Consequently I saw several strange constellations. I didn ' t notice the program since I was attempting to understand Betelgeuses lassitude, also those new constellations which I saw when my optic nerve was sensitized by impact with the door. Returning home I realized that the stellar system was a mathe- matically perfect system of socialism. I think I shall write Mr. Debbs and tell him that we must organize men into sovietic con.stellations if Socialism is to rule the world as it must do. I shall try to convince my son, Billy, first. If I can prove it to him, Debbs will be easy. Oct. 6 — I have been so busy trying to classify the new shades of green spectrically that my diary must sutler. Clreen is very interesting. I noticed that today green is being u.sed to cover vacuums, and unruly ears. It must have some rare symbolism. I am con- vinced that green should be our socialist color instead of red. I .shall write to Mr. Hay- wood and Mr. Trotsky. Perhaps I should try to convince Sarah and Billy first. If I can do that I am sure Trotsky will assent. Oct. 21) — Tonight the students had a big calorific jubilee downtown. They conflagrated a big mass of wood and other cellulosic materials over which they poured quantities of petroleum products. The calories were flying about so fast that I was a little bewildered, but being a true Socialist I love a conflagration. The flames were a glorious red, too, altho I noticed a green element in the light due to the fact that the freshmen prepared it, I suppose. I found out that the combustion was rapid enough to raise a bli.ster in 23 3 13 seconds. It takes longer to get rid of it, however. It took some time for the delugic instruments to extinguish the combustion, but eventually it was accomplished. Oct. 27 — I found out today that the big calorific demonstration last night was not a scientific experiment, but was intended to make it hot for the Pacific University football team. It was a great game! I enjoyed it almost as much as I would a socialist street fight. We almost beat them too! I felt an inward impulse to go out and help them; and now my conscience bothers me, for if I had but interfered, I am sure it would have been 7 to ( instead of to 7. Blake Lowell ought to .study math so he could have judged the wind and kicked the goal; I mean kick the ball over the goal. And then tonight was a bewildering aft ' air, the Hallowe ' en Masquerade. I never knew there were so many strangers in school. Sarah is mad tonite! She says I made a fool out of us bv flirting with that fat bathing girl. How was to know that it was Kenneth Cohen ? Oct. 30 — I wanted to go to Columbian Literary timite, hut those tragic programs always aft ' ect me so. They were going to ])lay the Tragedy of Tackett by Spookspeare. I have been staying at home weeping all evening because I know it mu.st be so sad. Oct. 31 — I guess I am prepared for Hallowe ' en. I stretched the clothes-line in the house; put the front walk in the bedroom; plastered tar on all the windows so that we won ' t be frightened with tick-tacks ; and put the cow in the kitchen. Guess th-ey won ' t be able to plav jokes on us. I must sto]) now and see that Billy doesn ' t go out and fall into trouble.

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,y — y- A One liutulred faurli Calendar of the Year K stiuliiits :iri ' always (I t|]1 iiihri ' lril to kiiiiw what imr faiMilty thinks; just as they are ahsorhcd in I ' xtortinfr any linowlcdp- we may have i iit of us. So, to satisfy this deep and morl)id euriosity, we have houjrht, hejrped. and stolen various extracts from the secret writings of several nieinhers of the faculty. From them we have learned many deep secrets and in the jjenerosity of our hearts, we pass this valuahle inforniatimi lUi In dur fcllou stuilent ,. Dr. Salomon, in defense of the style which he has used in his diary of this year, explain as follows: Duriufi thi sunnner I have lieen hrowsin;; extensively in literature of the old Eufrlish tyjii — such as that used by Knifihts and Ladies of old. In my ])rivate writinp-,. Ilierefore, 1 have decided to comply with this style, as it seems to me to In- much more seemly and decorous, as well as hcinj: precise and to the point. And so here is Dr. Salomon ' s diary of SEPTE.MBEU .Sept. ' i — . veritalile i al.iry of di ers ajipea ririfr KniL htly (o ' litleuicM and { ' ourtls Cicntle W Omen wendethed their way Sterrvward this lonj: .anticipated day. Divers verdantine seem- ing personages saw 1. with all manners .and miens, appearances strange and peculiar liad they alsoly. With hesit.ating paei- .mil otlliiiies tearly eye were they to he percei i ' d timidly requesting guileless .ipiiearing pass ' rhys to direct them College of Idahoward. Wending myself that wayward, I saw .still more fresh stu lents, all were moving con- fusedly whitherward they knewed not, hut eventually, they each and every ilestinated in the hands of the course committee. Strange indeed were the fresh gentlemen, for they surprised were in learning that they could not take English of the fourth year firstmost aiul other .Senior .suhjects so soonly . Sept. IS— My times hath been so fnllilled helwixt that fate-filled Sejjt. 13 that I liaMi been not able to m.arke some cntr s in thee. Oh Di.ary, but I nmstest remark the events of this day. .My soul was bestirred to its de])tiis at the sight of a hetwinkling di.inKmd on the fourthest finger of a little Handy. .Such sights move me to my foundations. Sejit. ' Jl — Before belieddiiig myself, expression nnist give to these horrorly fi-elings now beboiling within me. Sights terrible and destructive saw I this day. I ' oor week defenseless fresh gentlemen saw 1 with baldy heads, nmte as the lamb before his shearers. Shuddered I with terror when I im.igined bow I nnsrlf would beseem with my sandy locks similarly bcshorn. Se|)t. ' ' — This night 1 can write scarcely well, so tired is my right fore limb fro.ii shaking hands and arms with a mullituded crowd, and so befuddled is my br.iin with divers names and faces. For this night 1 was the missing link in the receiving line at the formal reception for the fre.sh students. Sept. 21 — I feel ill well this night sini-e being bo-|iiled b the hos|iit.ible l.owi ' lls in their . uto Party. Pleasure indeed was it to learn about aulomobiles, but the ice-cream heflavored with gasoline offended my delicate nostrils, and my over worked stomach. For- .sooth, Pvridin is likely .ind seemly in its pl.iee, but it me seemelh th.il it is not well placed in ice-cream.

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' till Imntlred Ktxteen NOXKMBKH This page from Prof. Mur))hy .s Diary was surreptitiously absconded for the purpose of entering it here, but niueh to our consternation, it was written entirely in Latin, anfl in effecting translation, we did very poor work. Such as it is, we offer it. Nov. 1 — Today, things several and mit-of-place, as well as all awry, when to school coming, noticed I. Curiosity my being aroused, at sight of boxes broken in middle of treets placed, no longer was raging when remembered I that the day after Hallowe ' en was it. Nov. :i— Today, C C. .Moon- in lia|Hl to us spoke. , s it may be, Cladius ComminuN -Moorus, his name real is. Nov. .S — This (l.iv, I so amazed was because Robert Karrar lesson latin hi. ' . ])erfectly did not recite. So infreiimiilly this hai)))ens that 1 where be night la.st was, wonder. Nov. 9 — Hail! I my argument with Prof. Springer won. . ndius ( ' ium|His by majority of 39 votes was elected. Now I in peace remain can. Nov. 9 — As well. Chief the tr.iin on trip football going di-l.iyed. Nov. 10 — Me, in consultation for e.xerci.ses in chapel along with others of the most illustrious men, tluy put. ' ' s day. the Koruin us entertained by proving that the C. its salt not worth i.s. Mi.ss .Miller and .Miss Weymouth wailfully sang and saltily wept, while the evidence fishy presenting. Nov. 11 — . d.iy of . rniisticc was this, and a favorable combat gladiatorial fought was in the arena School of Mines at .Montana. Nov. 11 — sight sad to tiie lu-art my eyes today saw. 11. Ilarger, a man of sena- torial rank, on the street stood. In li.iml his a cup tin held was, and tongue and ears bis deaf and dumb being, condition such the wayfarers moved so that donations generous into CU] his poured. ritit ' ul vr it was. Nov. 17--. procession great triumphal today by all enjoyed was to herald the ap- proach of the load of students technical. The parade the specialties of the book excellent Trail praised, buffalos and Indians ini]iortantly played. The school opiJosing of gladiators being arrived, the game began. The arena full was and the combat gladiatorial exciting by us won was. That night, while everybody at invitation of J. Jackson played, car triumphal defeat their to ))resent painted was. Who it did? ? -Nov. Jl — . battle great in basement of Hall Voorhees fought was. Chemistry, the enemy, an attack of gas |)roduced, and Peg and Viola K. extiTUiinated almost were. ' ic- tims ten all finally recovered were. Nov. Jl — .V combat gladiatorial another fought was. On side oni ' . the Mongrels, on side the other the Coyote I ' ujis eoniiuered :! to T. • Nov. 28 — A spectacle excellent tonight put on was by the class of Seniors (elders for example) Professoris Peppus — Oh! my nervous, my nervous Humpski. IIOO flowers sweet young with forms and faces divine tin- cries th.it on tin- .lir ,it night rang were. It a show magnificent was. Nov. ;i(» — This day Thanksgiving called was. 1 thankful when it ended, wa: — to the truth say. Strangely I larger than usually felt, after one-half of a turkey delicious I eaten had. Son, my Robert, (pieerly too felt so that this day, thankful if caused have nuisl. I repeat, oh citizens fellow, that I thankful when Dec. I comes will be.