College of William and Mary - Colonial Echo Yearbook (Williamsburg, VA)

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F a(Har photo Dan Weber 21

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SCHOOL WAS TIMELESS A REFLECTION ON THE STUDENT OF 1985 W hen we sit down and look back at 4. 1985, we will wonder what distinguished this year from the rest. Maybe in the 5. Almanac it will only mention irrelevant things like Government aid to South Africa and junk about tax reform and silly ram- 6. blings about the strong dollar and foreign travel. There were other things about this 7. year that are comparably unimportant. The ' Yuppies ' (Young Urban Profes- sionals) were certainly a fixture which need to be forgotten. We may want to 8. forget the Bruce Springsteen Tour, be- cause by 1995 none of us will admit that we 9. ever liked anything other than elevator music and selected hits from Barry Mani- low. We probably will neglect to mention the wide spread abuse of cocaine by 10. youngsters playing Little League. The His- tory books may even forget to mention the Roman-like fad that occured primarily in The South in which many honey- 11- mooners tying live cats to their vehicles instead of the standard cans used to make noise as the couples leave the wedding. However, despite the lack of memor- able occurences in the lives of upper- 12. middle class Americans. There were a few attributes that distinguished the man of 1985 from the men of other years. They ran as follows: 13. 1. He was more concerned about Oxen and the preservation of all other creatures than ever before. 14. This year was the Chinese year of the ox and Americans showed a new 15. appreciation for farm animals along with their allies from Asia. 2. He did not like to be called he , 16. he liked to be called an equal individual. The she ' s have length- 17. ened many a job title to generify our formerly masculine language, (i.e. waitron, Vice-Presitron Candidate 18. Geraidine Ferraro, etc.). 3. He was conservative, conscientious, 19. and career minded. Probably real- izing that he will need to have a job 20. when he gets old since there won ' t be any social security. 21. 20 He was not as promiscious as in the late 1970 ' s. She might still be? He travelled in Europe, since it was trendy. But we all know that Ameri- cans are not ones to follow trends. He did not drug the winner of the Kentucky Derby, like last year. He did not join a fraternity because he prefers not to affiliate himself with the actions of others. Unless, one was to look at his resume. He ate less chocolate, while replac- ing it with jogging and eating tofu. He had his lacrosse program cut because the students would prefer to see Bryan Complex opposed to Penn State. He is wearing less make-up and spending more money on plastic surgery, unless one were to see La Cage Aux Falles. He attempts to pay homage to the year of the ox by attempting to resemble this docile creature by attending classes with varied levels of hat or bed head. His foreign competition became stiffer than ever with Japanese im- porters cornering the market on imported ox and yack fur. Vigilantees were heralded by his private sector while scorned by his government. NORTH DAKOTA WAS STILL THE SAME. He also started moving into urban areas again, after a 20 year opposite trend. He bought a BMW to go along with his Subaru Wagon. He got mad about being too young to drink while wearing a soldier ' s uniform. He renewed his health club membership. He turned gay if he saw no obliga- tion to perpetuate his species. He played for the New Jersey Gener- als if he won the Heisman Trophy. He bombed his girlfriend ' s abortion clinic.

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1985 cont. I If