College High School - La Campanilla Yearbook (Upper Montclair, NJ)

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And ThesE Lie FurlhEr Class Prophecy The year: 2000 A.D. The place: along the Erie tracks twelve miles from New York. The action: a jet-train wreck has just taken place and a reporter irom the New York Sun is conversing with a man in his hundreds. Reporter: You say, Mr. Bohn, that the alumnus of the class of ' 49 were killed in the wreck? Mr. Bohn: The proper word is alumni, young man! As I was saying before, they were all oing to a class reunion when ... At this point the bent old man broke into tears. Reporter: Could you please try to pull yourself together and give me some information for the obituary column. Mr. Bohn: I ' ll try, but it ' s such a tragedy that the world should lose so many famous people in one blow. Cam Allen was very undecided when he graduated, so he became a member of the feared Northwest Mounted Police, accumulated a pile of money and scalps of men brought back deader than alive, and retired early to raise polar bears. You ' ve probably heard of his brother Jamie ' Jet ' Allen, who designed a plane with such phenomenal speed that you could leave New York at five o ' clock a. m. and arrive in San Francisco for your yesterday ' s supper. Bobby-Zene Arnold realized her ambition of becoming a housewife soon after graduation from Centenary College. She is famous for her book entitled How (o Become a Housewi e in Ten Easy Lessons. I suppose your wife has spoken to you about a new dress from Kathryn Bayer ' s salon of fine wearing apparel. Her plain pipe racks rival those of the famous Robert Hall. Still undecided after graduation from Princeton, Pete Bennett worked as a mattress tester at Simmons. After this he starred as Rip Van Winkle in a play which thereupon ran for twenty years. Of course, you know of the medical firm which Dave Berry and John Tomec started after graduating from Penn State. As tree surgeons they estab- lished a name known ' round the world with their eye drops for weeping willows. If you ' ve ever watched television, young man, you ' ve probably seen Joan Blumberg, who starred in the great serial program ' John ' s Other Cousin ' s Aunt ' s Wife. ' After training under the great voice teachers of France, Germany, and Italy, Mary Clay returned to the U. S. to work in the Brown Derby as a torch singer. Sheila deVries was billed with the finest stars of yesteryear. Her first play was that passionate production, ' The Loves of Lassie. ' During her tours of the U. S., Margie Eastwick preached the doctrine of socialized medicine. She was converted by a wealthy specialist whom she later married. Ever visit the art museum, young man? Then you ' ve probably seen some of the surrealistic art of Miriam Gittleman. Her paintings have made the works of Dali look like printed diagrams. After completing her secretarial course, Betty Jane Hendershot found herself on a slow boat to China working for an Indian Fakir. Learning Yogi, she was the first woman to stand on her head for twenty-four hours abso- lutely silent. If you ' ve ever been to College High, you ' ve probably seen Jayne Knowlton teaching the finer points of physical education to embryonic teachers.

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Have Met Anii Passed Class History As sophomores we were some of the first people to ride on the new nerve-racking specials which swung along the rails at the terrific speed of twenty miles per hour. By this time we had graduated to the upper hall where no end of good things abound. Our fourth year at C.H.S. offered many new problems such as the choice of class rings and our first school dance presentation. Under the guidance of our English teacher, Mr. Lawrence Conrad, we had the distinction of being the first class to join the Teen-Age Book Club. Each month we ordered and received pocket book editions of well-known books. Our greatest achievements in this course were the dramatizations of the plots. Then, too, there were our little rambles in the woods directed by our biology teacher, Mrs. Ramsden. Tick-tree-foil was collected by all on skirts and pants while even some of the more fortunate caught cold and thus avoided the next outing. Diesel-electrics now began to take the place of the more expensive smokers. Compressed air horns blared warnings to pedes- trians as our train rolled in to deposit us for our junior year. By now we were well schooled in the art of presenting a school dance, which was revealed when The Snow Shoe Shuffle proved to be a great success. Other activities included a trip to the New York Museum of Natural History where we viewed the atomic energy exhibit, and the junior-senior picnic at Lake Hopatcong. Among the new activities offered to the class was the publication of the College High Crier, which kept the staff busy meeting deadlines. No longer is there the chug chug of the Diesel but just the steady throb of the electric locomotives. The Erie has advanced as far as it will go for some time, but the class progresses as the sands of time run on. As seniors we had traditions to live up to, so we threw our- selves into our work. Our first activity was the senior carnival, the Corn Stalk, which was formally announced via a variety show. The class participated in another trip to Wall Street where they spent the morning visiting the New York Stock Exchange and the National City Bank. The afternoon was spent at the Radio City Music Hall where we saw Words and Music and a fine stage show. The class enjoyed the traditional junior-senior picnic, being on the receiving end at last. Our spring senior bridge was presented, and our senior play was produced with astonishing results. And so we boarded our Pullman coach and with much regret moved off to new horizons. xO . ' V i

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Down The Tracks Then there was Jean Koons who made herself quite lomous with her work on crime and juvenile delinquency. Her work with a ' heater ' made her famous along the lower East Side as ' Pistol Packin Jeannie. ' You don ' t mean to stand there and tell me that you ' ve never heard of John Lamperti, sir! Why he made Emstein look like a plumber in comparison with the Lamperti findings on radioactive bedbugs. Do you ever ride, young man? Oh! Suzanne Lewis was your instructor. I take it you ' ve read her book on riding, The Horse and , Have you read those famous speeches of Art, ' You-Can-Go-To-Tho- North-Pole ' Lobsenz? He made himself a name in the Supreme Court where he defended the Limburger Cheese Company of New Jersey. The case raised quite a stink. Then there was Barbara MacLeod who revolutionized dress designing with her ' way-above-the-knees skirts. ' Oh! you ' ve heard of Mad Malcolm McClintock, the automobile engi- neer. His fenderless, permanently converted convertibles were the rage in 1970 until he went into jazz and ousted Spike Jones. Ever hear of The Donna Pelissier Secretarial School for Bashful Girls? It was the only secretarial school that included judo and jungle tactics in the curriculum. Charles Reilly joined the Naval Air Force after graduation from Col- gate and made a name for himself as the hottest jet pilot ever to fly backwards through the sonic barrier. Then, too. there was Ralph Riehle who became president of General Electric when the p resident died from laughing at one of his unusually funny jokes. Of course you ' ve heard of Warren Seamans, the singing chemist. After discovering an anti-rabies serum for dogs bitten by men, he started the only coyote choir in the great Northwest. Just mention the name of Jean Ellen Silverman to any business man, and he would have immediately asked you how to get to know this shrewd business woman, who has made her mark by selling ovens to the Africans. Doctor William Speer ' s name is famous among the annals of the medical world for his experiment on mosquito brains. He has also found a cure for a disease that hasn ' t been discovered yet. Ever go to the wrestling matches to see Thor ' the Terrible ' Torgersen, who pins his man in five seconds and then preaches a sermon which brings tears to the eyes of the audience? Oh, your little boy goes to the EHzabeth Umbach Kindergarten? Liz was the first woman to combine the kindergartens of the United States into one union. If you ever visit the great northern woods, you will probably see the monument erected to Paul Wert, the friendly forester, who won world renown when he established a home for restless rattlers. Con ' Concepts ' West taught history at M.S.T.C. and then retired on his laurels won from the National Riflery Association. Armed with only a bowie knife, he once hunted bear in Bermuda. Too bad you can ' t see Betty Willetl for your limp, my boy. As a physical therapist she made a specialty of taking the knock out of knock-knees. Now that your editor-in-chief, Janet Woodall, has been killed I suppose the paper will have rough going. She certainly caused a great commotion with her editorials on ' Men Are Inferior. ' Thus ending his tale, the old man sighed and wearily hobbled away.