Columbia University School of Dental and Oral Surgery - Dental Columbian Yearbook (New York, NY)

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CLASS OF 1921 DRAMATIS PERSONAE The Draped Figure A Beloved Master The First Jester Moe Rosenzweig The Second Jester Leo Heidenreich The Third Jester Hyman Freedman The Fourth Jester Jerry Hahn The First President Kloomak The Second President Moe Fierstein The Last President J°e Kohn The Man Who Knows Bill Wasson The Man Who Knows He Knows Not .... Andy Reich The Man Who Exhorts Leo Gordon The Man Who Ran Schier The Man of the People Himmelfarb The Man for Money Gus Landau The Jazz King Harry Roberts The Chorus Boylhart The Runner Jack Murray A Commander in the Army Lester Predmore His Queen of Hearts Elise Predmore The Dancer George Goldsmith The Wearers of the Chrysanthemums The Girls A Jewel Herself The Others The Rest of the Class 20

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Jit il?mnrium {§ ISnrks, W alms, 03 IFluating (EIoulib almur, GD imirrrmtg iRturrs tl]at fnrrurr tinto, fan Ijaur no soul nor mrmurn, nor luur,- fun must orrarj or uanisli l|rrr brlout! litt i mtl of man, tljon must traurrsr thr graur (En rrarlj brtimrs tl y future reeling nlarr; itfnr by l)is oratli ($ur Hessro i auior gaur $ x[[ roufiurnrr tn tl|r future nf lljr rare. (§ nratlj, mhrrr ts tlm orranro sting iHljrn all tltr rljntrrst tl tnrjs nf life ran last ? (§ mrssmgrr nf Ijnur, ®hg banners fling iFor uratlj ran not rraoiratr tbr oast. (® (irntlr nul, mljirlj Irft na in nrsnair, irar frart, uif]o rljoosr tn pass tljat mr might liur, ulnj sunrr-naturr mas bu. far tnn fair 5o torture, fnr tlir blrssings trjnu oiost giur. Ann lir mlio gaur smrrt aib tn poor ann loin, Alikr all rrrilbrrn nf iliat nnr great lonr, Sruarts tins rarth, mrirrr h? oto blrssings som (To reap tlir liarurst in trjr morlo abour. Ijis famr hroaurast sljall nrnrr rrasr to grom; Ann as tin silrnt urars takr ming in flight, liis nirtnrs to ns Ijrre on rartlj brlom Sljall sljinr with, rirtjrr ano a purer light; 3uir mrmoru, srrall paint rum grratrr still; (Eliilorrn nnborn sljall lirar abont his famr, GDur ljrarts of i rurrrno lonr, shall rurr fill QDnr ryrs mitlj trars at mrntion of his namr. ilUliam ifi. Wasson, 31 19

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The Draped Figure: O Class of 1921, for many long years have I led you on the Way of Knowledge. To test your skill I have placed stumbling blocks in your path, yea, verily, even quizzes, but, nothing daunted, you have braved me in my den to make up absences and even, by my goodness, many zips, because verily, do I not know that to get all mixed up is an attribute even of seniors? At last you have attained the heights and now know all: Yea even the Seven Steps in the Proper Procedure for a Rubber Dam, and also the many symp- toms of shock. Yea, verily, I even believe that you know the defini- tion of an alveolar abscess ; (Miss Roth, you give it), and even the distinguishing feature of H2S ( I won ' t have it! ) and also the mean- ing of intoxication ( I wish you men wouldn ' t behave like children! ). Truly, some things are beyond mortal powers to learn, chiefly the Petrous portion of the temporal bone, and also the reason why you have to pay five dollars for a breakage fee ! But rest content, O Class of 1921, perhaps in another world, if you will get down to hard work, you will learn the reason even for these. We are assembled today because it is my duty before I allow you to receive that Roll of Paper which will enable you to attain many other papers of a different sort. Verily, I say, it is my duty to give you one last quizz. Not a written one, however, for it is imperative that each man answer for himself. The question is: What have you done for yourself, for the Class, for the College? The Man Who Exhorts: O Master, I was the first to gain promi- nence in the Class. With my loud voice I subdued and took command of the first meeting. All men hearing me became quiet. Since then whenever there is noise I raise my voice above the tumult and am heard. I was a pol ' t : eal boss in my first two years, but First Jester: But no, O Master, he is content to boss his wife. The Draped Fig ure: Verily I see that in the years to come you will boss your patients wlrle extracting teeth and then subdue them while extracting money. You are qualified. Pass on ! First President: I next, O dearly beloved master, figure in the annals of Class History. Fourth Jester: Just a minute; will you please say that again? I didn ' t get the last word. Chorus: The old gray mare, she ain ' t what she used to was. She ain ' t what she — etc. The Man Who Exhorts: Quiet, fellows! First President: It was my unique honor to — Second Jester: To be the first president in petticoats. First President (nothing daunted) : It was in my administration that the Class first smelled the heavenly aroma and tasted the exquisite flavor of a tender, juicy frankfurter roasted over a smoking camp fire. Oh, that first hike ! It was great ! How it snowed ! Second Jester: How we sneezed the next day! The Man Who Knows : That was because we got our feet cold and that drove the blood out of the femoral vein and its various anas- tomoses, through the splanchnic region, direetlv into the mucous mem- brane of our noses. Of course, all that blood rushing into the above- mentioned mucous membranes caused an irritating, tickling sensation which resulted in the forceful expulsion of air from our noses. Third Jester: If Jack Murray were there could he have run away from the snow ? The Class : Aw, sure ! First Jester: That was the famous occasion when Harry Roberts jazzed the bursting of the frankfurters into syncopated rhythm. Chorus: He ' s a ja-azz baby! The Man W T ho Exhorts : Aw, can ' t you keep quiet and give her a chance ? First President: Thank you, Mr. Gordon, I simply wish to add that the rest of my college course was spent in counting ballots and in quieting crying babies on the Infirmary floor, thus offering a living example that women were justified in demanding equal rights. (Loud applause from the wearers of the chrysanthemums.) The Draped Figure: Verily, verily, O my daughter, I see that it has not benefited you much to pass through our institution. Inasmuch as counting ballots and quieting babies is not profitable, you are abso- lutely disqualified ! Next man ! Second President: For two long years have I served my class faithfully and well ! Fourth Jester: Wait a minute, wait a minute. I have to take it down in shorthand. 21