Coffeyville Community College - Reflections Yearbook (Coffeyville, KS)

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on major major, the consequences were only slightly less severe. it was a harsh and stunning realization that was forced upon him at so tender an age, the realization that he was not, as he had always been led to be- lieve, caleb major, but instead was some total stranger named major major major about whom he knew absolutely nothing and about whom nobody else had ever heard before. what playmates he had withdrew from him and never returned, disposed, as they were to distrust all strangers, especially one who had already deceived them by pretending to be someone they had known for years. he was polite to his elders, who dislike him. whatever his elders told him to do, he did. they told him to look before he leaped, and he always looked before he leaped. they told him never to put off until the next day what he could do the day before and he never did. he was told to honor his father and his mother, and he honored his father and his mother. he was told that he should not kill and he did not kill, until he got into the army. then he was told to kill, and he killed. he turned the other cheek on every occasion and always did unto others as he would have had others do unto him. when he gave to charity, his left hand never knew what his right hand was doing. he never once took the name of the lord his god in vain, committed adultory, or coveted his neigh- bor's ass. in fact, he loved his neighbor and never even bore false wit- ness against him. major major's elders disliked him because he was such a flagrant non-conformistf' since he had nothing better to do well in, he did well in school. at the state university . . . he majored in english history which was a mistake. english history! roared the silver-maned senior senator from his state indignantly. what,s the matter with american history? . . . major major switched immediately to american literature, but not be- fore the fbi had opened a file on him. there were six people and a scotch terrier inhabiting the remote farm house major major called home, and five of them and the scotch terrier turned out to be agents for the fbi. soon they had enough derogatory information on major major to do whatever they wanted to with him. the only thing they could find to do with him, however, was take him into the army as a private and make him a major four days later so that congressmen with nothing else on their minds could go trotting back and forth through the streets of washington d. c. chanting who promoted major major? who promoted major major?', actually, major major had been promoted by an ibm machine with a sense of humor almost as keen as his fathers'. catch-22 13

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,...- after a year and a half of tiptoeing thru mud, dodging tools, studying with carpenters and watching construction rather than the teacher, ccjc has a new union, auditorium, library, and occupational building. AFTER in X'-, X X 4 -I ,U . A .-- 'V .vi 1 'T 4 was ii Z