Coffee High School - Coffee Pot Yearbook (Florence, AL)

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L0 THIIEIQOFFEE A9011 te?-j A Girl's Essay on Boys. Boys are men that have not got as big as their papa's, and girls are women that will be ladies by and by. Man was made before woman. When God looked at Adam, He said to Himself: Well, I think I can do better if I try again. And He made Eve- God liked Eve so much better than Adam that there have been more women than men. Boys are a trouble. They wear out every- thing but soap. If I had my way half the world would be girls and the rest dolls. My papa is so nice that I think he must have been a little girl when he was a little boy. Man was made, and on the seventh day he rested. Woman was made, and she has never rested since. A little girl who could not resist pinching her mother's currents as fast as they ripened, after being reproved for it several times, still could not refrain. At last her mother called her and told her hereafter whenever she was tempted to pull the currents to say, Get thee behind me Satin. But next day the current disappeared again. The mother called her little one and asked if she hadn't remembered what she told her. Yes, mother, she said, I did say 'Get thee behind me Satan' and he pushed me right into the bush. A city man had occasion to stop at a country home where a tin basin and a roller-towel on the back porch sufficed for the family's ablu- tions. For two mornings the hired man of the household Watched in silence the visitor's efforts at making a toilette under the unfavor- able conditions but when on the third day the tooth-brush, nail-file, whisk-broom, etc., had been duly used and returned to their places, suppressed his curiosity no longer, so boldly put the question: Say, mister, are you always that much trouble to yo'se'f? Two women were strangers to each other at a reception. After a few minutes desultory talking the first said rather querulously: I don't know what's the matter with that tall blond gentleman over these. He was so atten- tive while ago but he won't look at me now. Perhaps, said the other, He saw me come. He's my husband. Aren't you the defendant? asked the man in the court room, speaking to an old negro. No, boss, I ain't done nothing to be called names like that. I'se got a lawyer here, he does the defensingf' Then who are you? 'Tse the genamun what stold the chicken.

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I W THE CLCDFFEEQPOT My brother takes up Spanish, French, Italian, Hebrew, German and Scotch. Goodness, where does he study. Study? He doesn't study, he runs an elevator. Oh, well, said the old Fogy. Clothes do not make thetman. Don't you believe it, suits have made many a lawyer. As Sam was going to the hospital for an operation he begged for a preacher. He was told he needed a surgeon not a preacher. He replied: Well, I want to be opened with prayer. Teacher: What is the shape of the earth? Sam: Round Teacher: How do you know? Sam: All right, then, it's square. I don't want to start any argument. Minnie Stutts: Qleading in pray at a society meetingl Oh, Lord, give us pure hearts, give use clean hearts, give us sweet hearts. Willie: Papa, if I was twins, would you buy the other boy a banana, too? Papa: Certainly, my son. Willie: Well, papa, you surely ain't going to cheat me out of another banana just cause I'm all in one piece? An elderly lady entered a store and asked to be shown some tablecloths. The salesman brought a pile and showed them to her but she had seen those elsewhere. Nothing suited her. Haven't you something new. The man brought another pile and showed them to her. These are the newest patterns, he said. You will notice the edge runs right around the border and the center is in the middle. Dear me, yes. I will take a half dozen of those, said the lady. A Methodist negro exhorter shouted: Come up an jine de army ob de Lord. 'Tse done jined, replied one of the con- gregation. Whar'd yoh jine? asked the exhorter. Un de Baptist Chu'ch. Why, child, said the exhorter, Yoh ain't in de army: yoh's in de navy. Mamma, is papa going to die and go to heaven? Of course not son, what ever put such an absurd idea into your head. Mr. George: Cwhile correcting chemistry notebooks found this at the end of an experi- ment? I have neither given or received help on this experiment. The latter is prefectly evident and goodness knows, I couldn't do the former.

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THEICOFFEE Por Q-I Merchant: How many studies are you carry- ing? Harry: I'm carrying one and dragging four. At the camp meeting the preacher exhorted the sinners to come to the front to be prayed for, and when the dust about the alter began to rise the preacher said: Brethren, bring some more straw, sinners going to hell tonight for the want of straw. You are one of these read men ain't you- William: Yes, I can read right smart. You been to school ainlt you? I reckon you been through Algebra? William: Yes, I have, but it was night and I didn't see nothing. Miss Smith: Good morning, you're looking well. Nellie: Thank you, I've just had the mumps? Prof. Howell: What comes from a volcano? Pupil: Saliva. Miss Lucille Smith: You'd better be quiet, a teacher might hear you. Mr. Howell told of a lecture he once heard on Man. But, he added, when I say man I mean woman also, for man embraces woman. Percy: I'll never learn how to swim. Mr. Mabry: Why don't you float? Percy: Well, you see when I get in the pool all the water goes out.