Coffee High School - Coffee Pot Yearbook (Florence, AL)

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I W THE CLCDFFEEQPOT My brother takes up Spanish, French, Italian, Hebrew, German and Scotch. Goodness, where does he study. Study? He doesn't study, he runs an elevator. Oh, well, said the old Fogy. Clothes do not make thetman. Don't you believe it, suits have made many a lawyer. As Sam was going to the hospital for an operation he begged for a preacher. He was told he needed a surgeon not a preacher. He replied: Well, I want to be opened with prayer. Teacher: What is the shape of the earth? Sam: Round Teacher: How do you know? Sam: All right, then, it's square. I don't want to start any argument. Minnie Stutts: Qleading in pray at a society meetingl Oh, Lord, give us pure hearts, give use clean hearts, give us sweet hearts. Willie: Papa, if I was twins, would you buy the other boy a banana, too? Papa: Certainly, my son. Willie: Well, papa, you surely ain't going to cheat me out of another banana just cause I'm all in one piece? An elderly lady entered a store and asked to be shown some tablecloths. The salesman brought a pile and showed them to her but she had seen those elsewhere. Nothing suited her. Haven't you something new. The man brought another pile and showed them to her. These are the newest patterns, he said. You will notice the edge runs right around the border and the center is in the middle. Dear me, yes. I will take a half dozen of those, said the lady. A Methodist negro exhorter shouted: Come up an jine de army ob de Lord. 'Tse done jined, replied one of the con- gregation. Whar'd yoh jine? asked the exhorter. Un de Baptist Chu'ch. Why, child, said the exhorter, Yoh ain't in de army: yoh's in de navy. Mamma, is papa going to die and go to heaven? Of course not son, what ever put such an absurd idea into your head. Mr. George: Cwhile correcting chemistry notebooks found this at the end of an experi- ment? I have neither given or received help on this experiment. The latter is prefectly evident and goodness knows, I couldn't do the former.

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QW 'ru-is coeesii I POT? George: Mother, why do words have roots? Mother: I suppose, so the language can grow. Did your watch stop when you dropped it on the cement walk the other day? Sure, did you think it would go through? Ruth always finds something to harp on. Yes, I only hope she'll be as fortunate in the next world. Teacher: Cafter lesson on snowj As we walk on a cold winter day and look around, what do we find on every hand? Pupil: Gloves Jack: frushing into his papa's rooml Papa, the coffee pot and kettle are singing. Papa: Nothing strange about thatf' Jack: But they are singing for a wager. Papa: Nonsense Jack: Because the frying pan is in the middle holding the steaks. Tommy is the worst boy in school, son, and I want you to keep as far away from him as you can. I do, mother. He stays at the head of the class most of the time. Have you forgotten you owe me a dollar? No, not yet, give me time and I will. Backward, Turn Backward ! Backward, turn backward, O Time in your flight, And she a maiden dressed proper and right, We are so weary of the switch and the rate, Huge puffs and marcelles and such things as that, Wads of jet hair in a horrible pile, Stacked on the head to the height of a mile, Something is wrong with the girl we fear, Oh! show us the girl as they used to appear! Give us the girls that we once knew of yore, W'hose curls did not come from a hairdresser's store, Maidens who dressed with a sensible view, Just as our mother intended them to. Give me a girl with a will of her own, Who does not fall for each fad that is known, Feminine styles growing fiercer each year, Oh! show us the girl as they used to appear. -Selected. One winter's day a very bow-legged tramp called at a home in Ontario and stood to warm himself by the kitchen stove- A little boy in the home surveyed him carefully for some minutes, then finally approaching him he said, Say, mister, you better stand back, you're warping.

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L0 THIIEIQOFFEE A9011 te?-j A Girl's Essay on Boys. Boys are men that have not got as big as their papa's, and girls are women that will be ladies by and by. Man was made before woman. When God looked at Adam, He said to Himself: Well, I think I can do better if I try again. And He made Eve- God liked Eve so much better than Adam that there have been more women than men. Boys are a trouble. They wear out every- thing but soap. If I had my way half the world would be girls and the rest dolls. My papa is so nice that I think he must have been a little girl when he was a little boy. Man was made, and on the seventh day he rested. Woman was made, and she has never rested since. A little girl who could not resist pinching her mother's currents as fast as they ripened, after being reproved for it several times, still could not refrain. At last her mother called her and told her hereafter whenever she was tempted to pull the currents to say, Get thee behind me Satin. But next day the current disappeared again. The mother called her little one and asked if she hadn't remembered what she told her. Yes, mother, she said, I did say 'Get thee behind me Satan' and he pushed me right into the bush. A city man had occasion to stop at a country home where a tin basin and a roller-towel on the back porch sufficed for the family's ablu- tions. For two mornings the hired man of the household Watched in silence the visitor's efforts at making a toilette under the unfavor- able conditions but when on the third day the tooth-brush, nail-file, whisk-broom, etc., had been duly used and returned to their places, suppressed his curiosity no longer, so boldly put the question: Say, mister, are you always that much trouble to yo'se'f? Two women were strangers to each other at a reception. After a few minutes desultory talking the first said rather querulously: I don't know what's the matter with that tall blond gentleman over these. He was so atten- tive while ago but he won't look at me now. Perhaps, said the other, He saw me come. He's my husband. Aren't you the defendant? asked the man in the court room, speaking to an old negro. No, boss, I ain't done nothing to be called names like that. I'se got a lawyer here, he does the defensingf' Then who are you? 'Tse the genamun what stold the chicken.