Coalinga High School - Petrolia Yearbook (Coalinga, CA)

Page 96 text:

A PCHJUNNY PHABLE Once a pun a time WINSLOW rivers wended their way fre-HEALEY past the BOWERY and through the many LITTLE VIOLETTE MEDO-s, there lived an old SMITH-y who DOUGLAS for a living. Now SMITH-y had a CRUM-my daughter who used to CARTER self away Qwhen not CLARK- ing in the department store and her work was DUNNJ to feet the ROBINS- ON the fence of her little I-IOUSEQDORFJ. She was really ABELL of the village in the sole fact that she could COOK. She had a GORD-ON her neck, a BLACKBURN on her left cheek a CRUMP-y shape, a DIAMOND-built curve, RUBY lips, and a TERRY-able smile. Briefly, we can ERNST-ly sa- HAYE she was anyhing short of DEVINE. One afternoon she told her father: My boy friend DAVIS CUMMIN to C-HULL on me. SUMPF-un, eh, Pop? However, the old MEINZER who did not like to have those particular b-OYSTER call on his daughter thought of a plan. He HOLLOW-d-WAY down to the cross RHOADES where DAVE was KUMMIN toward the cottage: I would ROTHE-r see him in the MOR- GAN dead than with my daughter be-GOSS I hate him. Nobody will ever LANDER for his wife nor will she LOOMER pretty head for any man. So with all his muscular POWERS, he dug a mud PURTLE in front of the house and filled it with WI-IITENER to paint the poor fellow's body in such a man- ner that even a TAYLOR couldn't e-RESER with a ZELLA-phane scraper. Now comes the tragic part. But I-IALE, the weak old fellow slipped and fell into his own trap, sinking PELLOW his waist into MOORE mud than there is in river beds. The H-AYERS on his forehead DREW themselves into more tiny knots than you CONN think of. ' Mr. ANXOLABE, the undertaker, came and BOROFF the poor old fel- low and he has GIB-en a decent burial in CHELENSKY Memorial Park. The Death-NULL had run for the ancient gentleman. It SNYDER time to quit now, but what about our two love-birds? DRUMMOND their way through life, they have Hnally settled in a small HICKQSQ town of VIRGINIA, to STEWART life anew. AMEN. Copyright 1936 by Sumpf-Snyder Punners Syndicate

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Avenal Heights-The thousand chances to onef' has happened in this thriving metrop- olis! Quintuplets were born to the Bob Abells fshe was the former Johnnie Carterl. The babes have been named Maudie Epperson, Grace Cunllnin, Esther Diamond, Elsie Martin, and Mildred Smith Abell i11 honor of the proud parents' former classmates at the now defunct Coalinga High School. Bob is passing out Healey Natividads to all his associates. Enroute to Midway Island, via. Pacific Clipper-News has eked out to the effect that Robert Bing Stewart, who sings over the police car system of Oiltields between einer- gency calls, has claimed the ham Chancll of Phyllis Jones, heiress to the sardine fish mil- lions, as his bride. Those witnessing this mar- ital event were Richard Lander and his wife, the former Louise Kummin of Null-Kummin Rhumba Team fame. Kokomo, June 7, 1956---Those two gay divorcees, Virginia McNeil and Zella Maxon are at it again! It is the sixth trip to the altar for Virge and the eighth for Zella. The two prospective grooms are Howard Martin and Playboy Dunn. Time-out until the next issue 419577

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A B C D E F G H I J K L ALPHABET SENIORS is for Anxolabe, For noise and for fung is for Bill, For work never done. is for Crum, A real modern girl, is for Devine, A gem and a pearl. is for Elladean, And Hayes is the name, is for F raysher, He,ll rise to great fame. is for Gilbert, The devil's his pal, is for Hull, A red-headed gal. is for Imy, A dear butterballg is for Jack, For roughhouse and all. is for Kenneth, Hey, SWede's the nicknameg is for Lander And hc'll stay the same. M is for Mary, Or Minnie the Mouseg N is for Null, As big as a house. O is for Oyster, Who's nobody's snail, P is for Powers, And right on his tail. Q is for someone, Who just never wasg R is for Rothe's Continuous buzz. S is for Snitz, A good pal of Sumpfg T is for Terry, Who can take a bump U stands for useless, Does that mean us all? V is for Vernal, Hale he is called. W is for Whitener, Who tickles those keys X is for anything, Maybe a sneeze. Y is for nothing, For nothing it beg Z is for Zella, Who's swell they tell me