Coalinga High School - Petrolia Yearbook (Coalinga, CA)

Page 94 text:

NEWS FLASHES FROM FAR AND NEAR Oil City, June 7, 1956 The town folk have just received news from Arthur Medo, who is now the head driver on the Snail Freight Lines. Arthur plans to stop over in Kettlenian City to watch the box- ing matches. Those fighting tonight are I-Iit 'em Hale versus Punch 'em Pellow, and Battling Boroff is charted to struggle a round or two with Kp O. Rothe. incidentally, folks, Firebaugh is holding a big celebration tonight in honor of its newly elected city officials. On the list of otii- cials we find ncne other than Howard Drew as mayor and John Bordagaray as sheriff. I11 addition to the big celebration the Purtle- Martin Greater Shows Carnival is making its annual stopover in Filebaugh. Jack is not only running the show, but is also barking for the l-Iula Hula Dancers, Mary Davis and June Crum, who have wriggletl their way to world fame. The Splatter, the daily newspaper of Oil City has sent Tom Robinson and Imogene Cook to cover the festivities in Firebaugh. This is Imy's first job. She's been sitting in the editor's office for twenty years waiting for this big scoop. Thelma ,Keyser has not been heard of in 19 years. She was last seen eloping with Jimmy Holloway. Those other married couples wl1o have retreated to their happy rendezvous are: George Anxolabe and Josephine Chelen- skyg Charles Collins and Ruby Gentry: Willo- dean Clark and Daryl Ilfrummondg and Elladean Hayes and Idus I-licks. The Snyder-Sumpf Pun Syndicate has now become a lalge corporatlon. It is not ex- pected to last. long, however, because the boys are slowly going nutty from listening to each Otl1Gl S puns. Flash-No one seems to know what hap- pened to Evelyn Morgan, but it was rumored that she married the retired millionaire ball- player George Lawrence, who is now playing ping pong to keep his muscles in shape. Those other girls whose dreams of fortunes have come true are Betty Ernst, Betty Cheney and lfldna Marshall. Why should we mention Cleo WVhitenef when all of you probably read her daily col- umn on advice to the love lorn in the local paper. Mildred Rhoades, Ethel Macomber and Evelyn Taylor flnally landed husbands three years ago in Missouri. And now we come to the sad part of our little check-up. After eight years of advertisement in marriage bureau pamphlets, there seems to be little hope for the one-time belies-Vida Devine, Claudia Gorden and Dorothy Loomer. However, this reporter fears that unless a miracle happens soon, the three girls will die spinsters. Won't someone respond to this call for help soon? Goshen Junction, June 7, 1956--Reports reached here today that the engineer on the new String-Bass Limited running between Hoopleburg and Lewis Creek is none other than Osbert Hausdorf, the speed demon, who received his instructions from teachers in the Coalinga Union High School. Assisting him at the fireman and conductor positions are Clar- ence Bowery and Donald Terry. The latter is a. behemoth of a man, who has to bend his head before he can enter the railroad cars. Priest Valley-Dr. Joseph Oyster, em- inent physicist, has recently announced that he has perfected a rubber eraser that will not wear out. This is considered a boon to stu- dents everywhere. He was assisted in the epochal discovery by Jack Fraysher, M. D., and Bill Douglas, N. U. T. Conn's Dairy-An announcement has just been issued by the Dairy Relations Consul Mary Meinzer, that two new dairy maids An- nie Moore and Joyce Johnson have been added to the creamery department. All three gained t?J their knowledge at Goldie Hull's Finish- ing School for Refined Gentlewomen. Parkfielrl, June 7, 1956-Entered in the steer-roping contest here in the Annual Round- up are such well-known horsemen as Pin-'em- Back Powers, Lay-'em-Low Little, Vim and Vigor Violette and Airy Ayers. The cow. gizls who are doing their bit in this gala event are Slim Santos, Whoopee Winslow, and that scintillating little vest pocket of fem. inine pulchritude Raise 'em Reser. The Sweetheart of the rodeo is none other than .Jeanette Crump of the famous Crump-Black- burn stables.

Page 93 text:

Feb. 26 Mr. Armstrong speaks. Let's go to college. Mar. 3 Gymnastic exhibition. Girls do their stuHi. Mar. 5 Senior Class meeting. General 'disgussion'. Mar. 10 P.-T. A. motion picture. Back to nature. Mar. 12 Alumni-High School Track Meet- Of course we won. Mar. 13 Proto Club dance. Putting on the ritz. Mar. 16 Cross Country Race. Robert Stewart--the winnah! Mar. 18 First G. A. A. meeting-the gals bloom forth. Mar. 20 Girls' League dance. Leave it to these 'fems'. Mar. 27 Junior play. Take Off Those Whiskers -false. Apr. 1 G. A. A. April Fool Spread-Fools' Day. Apr. 2 Senior Class meeting. Brainstorm ahead! Apr. 3 Senior Essays due. Did the mid-night oil burn? Apr. 6 Interclass track meet. It's only the beginning. Apr. 7 Interclass track meet. Juniors victorious. Apr. 16 Student body meeting. We really do have some cash--bills, too! Apr. 22 G. A. A. meeting-girls exercise women's rights-gab. Apr. 23 Senior Day. What fun! Why aren't there 175 such days. Apr. 25 Track meet at Hanford. We were there. Apr. 27 Boys' swimming pictures taken. Boys will do anything to have their pictures taken. Apr. 29 G. A. A.'s Masquerade party. Who's who? May 8 Belle of Barcelonai' operetta. Three cheers for Miss Lauritzen and cast. May 14 Special Student Body meeting. New oflicers nominated. May 20 High School Faculty meeting. They talk us over. May 22 Proto Club dance. Seniors Farewell. May 25 Senior reception--Thanks to the Juniors and Sophs. May 28 Petrolia Party-inspiration to work. May 29 Petrolia out. Wanta buy a book? May 29 G. A. A. Formal Banquet-a feminine touch presides. May 31 Baccalaureate. Smiles and tears. June 4 Garden of the Moon Senior Play. Amateur night. june 4-5 Final exams. Oh! Over, but are we? June 8 Junior High graduation. Good luck! june 9 Farewell Seniors of '36. It's over.

Page 95 text:

Avenal Heights-The thousand chances to onef' has happened in this thriving metrop- olis! Quintuplets were born to the Bob Abells fshe was the former Johnnie Carterl. The babes have been named Maudie Epperson, Grace Cunllnin, Esther Diamond, Elsie Martin, and Mildred Smith Abell i11 honor of the proud parents' former classmates at the now defunct Coalinga High School. Bob is passing out Healey Natividads to all his associates. Enroute to Midway Island, via. Pacific Clipper-News has eked out to the effect that Robert Bing Stewart, who sings over the police car system of Oiltields between einer- gency calls, has claimed the ham Chancll of Phyllis Jones, heiress to the sardine fish mil- lions, as his bride. Those witnessing this mar- ital event were Richard Lander and his wife, the former Louise Kummin of Null-Kummin Rhumba Team fame. Kokomo, June 7, 1956---Those two gay divorcees, Virginia McNeil and Zella Maxon are at it again! It is the sixth trip to the altar for Virge and the eighth for Zella. The two prospective grooms are Howard Martin and Playboy Dunn. Time-out until the next issue 419577