Coalinga High School - Petrolia Yearbook (Coalinga, CA)

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A CO-ED'S IMPRESSION OF A FOOTBALL GAME One Saturday morning, it must be about nine o'clock, the Boy Friend comes round to the house with a couple tickets to a football game, and inquires how would I like to go. Now to tell you the truth, I ain't never been to one of these football games: but if SOIIIG yokel's dumb enough to buy me a. ticket, I'1n just bright enough to go. Well, we get there kinda early, I guess, cause there i.sn't nothing goin' on-just a bunch of guys cutting up on the lawn. I can't get over how funny those guys look. It isn't their faces much as their clothes. Their trousers look kinda like inflated golf pants, but gosh, those shirts and hats! Some people wear the funniest get-ups! Well, there's nothing to do, so I just sits and gives the crowd the once over. I know rubber-necking's considered vulgar-but, gosh, just take a look at this crowd. Everybody's actin' kinda strange like. Talk about eticut , these people sure left theirs t'home. Part of 'em are singing, can you imagine that-yes sir, they're singing. It sure looks to me as if Stockton has sent a delegation down there, them guys are actin' so tetched. Somebody clear up in back starts yelling, Wo wanta touchdown! I don't know what a touchdown is, so I asks the Boy Friend. Here l am considerably enlightened to find a touch- down is 11ot a refusal of a loan, but, rather, putting a ball behind a post. This sounds silly to me, but I take his word for it. VX5hy don't I watch the game? -well, I didntevcn know it was a game. Edgbert, Edgbeit, listen to me! What are these mugs doing down there on that grass? Playing foot- ball, eh? Well, how was I to know. Edgbert! Look, every'body's running after that poor fellow in the black stockings. Edgbert, what are they doing that for? Look, tl1ey've ALL jumped on him. Oh, Edgbert. . . DO some- thing! Here again, I am enlightened-Edgbert tells me, in no pleasing manner, to sit down, to stop yelling, to get off his hat, and for Lord's sake to stop acting nutty. Now, where I come from, it's an insult to be talked to in that tone of speech, so I sits myself down and tends to my own thoughts-and knittin'. Still I just can't help feeling sorry for the poor fellow who got jumped on. Suddenly somebody blows a. whistle-everybody jumps up and yells something about last quarter to go. Tha.t's something else I learned-they count in terms of money. Another whistle blows-everybody sits down. They all seem to get the signals pretty good. Now those guys are all getting dow11 on their hands and knees. Gosh, what a. business. llfs the silliest ever. I have to laugh when some girl clear down front suddenly yells, What's the score! Fresh guy, huh! Oh, gosh, I don't like this so well. Those big bullies out there on the lawn don't play u. bit fair. Look! Now can you fathom that? That fellow kicked the ball right from under that other guy's hand. Dirty work, I calls it. My gracious but that man sure can kick. Now everyone's running after tl1e ball. Oh, Edgbert, isn't it all too, too, simply, very-look, that big fellow has thexball 110-W. I hope they all jump on him cause he's the one who jumped on the little fella a while ago. Dear me, he's 1'l1l1llll1g straight for those sticks out there. Eclgbert, why is he running down there, and if he is not careful, he'll go out of bounds. That would be too bad, wouldn't it, Edgboi-t?i' There, I knew he'd do it. I-Ie ran across that white line, and he's out. Why are all those people yelling? Edgbert . . . whats the n1atter? Everybody's standing up in their chairs nowg but Egbert has one dirty look on his face. IIome! But, Edgbert, I don't want to go home. 1 wasn't neither cutting up. You should look at the rest of these people if you think I act balmy. Oh, all right, I'll go. I didn't wanta come to this old game, anyhow--there just isn't any sense to it! -Betty Newbold.

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