Climax Township High School - Blue and Gold Yearbook (Climax, MI)

Page 23 text:

A PERPLEXING PROBLEM We've often wondered long and deep V We've, figured and we've worried We've sat up nights and lost our sleep And through our meals have hurried: We've drawn on every known resource For helpful inforrnation. We've sought the aid of every force Discovered since Creation. But all we've done avails us not We stand on failure's brink We can't find out if Seniors have The faculties to think. We've watched them as they walked the street Or swam the social ocean: We've searched their heads and viewed their feet And studied every motion. We've gazed into their vacant eyes, And weighed each blank expression To solve the problem if we could, And find the missing link, That might decide the claim for good That Seniors really think. But we've about made up our minds To quit and go to farming: The proof against them, we do find ls surely not alarming. Their words, their deeds, their apish' Not only make us weary, But teach us that nobody cared A fig about our query. In fairness, though, we must admit fUnless he takes to drink, That the Seniors might make a social hit If they can really thinklv -The Faculty- airs

Page 25 text:

CLASS PROPHECY Ladies and Gentlemen! This is station C. T. H. S. broadcasting to you on May Z0, 1958, from The Biggest Little Village in the World, Climax, Michigan. Your friendly announcer is Pat Low. As you know our weekly quiz program every Wednesday night is brought to you by the makers of Merle's Moldy Muffin Mix. The owner and operator, Merle Hitchings, has a very thriving business, located on Mildew Street. We are proud to present three quiz masters on our program this evening, in- stead of the usual one. They graduated from Climax High in '48, and are none other than Professor Perkins, Quiz Kid Scramlin, and Einstein the Second, in school days known as Bob Putnam. A familiar face at the microphone, and our first contestant, is light weight champion of the world, Bob Haas. Bob is struggling over the question, Who Lies in Grant's Tomb? sent in by that famous beautician from Bullfrog Springs, Miss Irene Simmons. Looking over the audience, while our contestant is concentrating on the question we find two lovely ladies seated in the back row. One is that well-known girdle de- signer from New York, Mademoiselle Doris Fenwick. Her shop, the Firm Foun- dation for Flattering Feminine Figures, is located on Two-Way Stretch. The other young lady, Iris Kuehn, recently won the International Shorthand Contest, by writing 400 words a minute. She is employed by Donald Penney, the President of the Parchment Paper Co. of Kalamazoo, Michigan. We interrupt this program for an ixnportant bulletin which has just arrived. WARNING: Everyone be on the lookout for a baseball that left Madison Square Gardens 15 minutes ago, after connecting with a bat in the hands of Slugger McGee Eastman. Of great local interest, also is a recent victory of the Athens Girls' Softball Team in the World Series held at Soldiers' Field in Chicago. Ione Coburn, catcher for the Athens Indians, made 30 home runs and scored a total of 60 points. Our next contestants at the microphone are two lovely housewives. One is that well-known Lady Butcher, Slaybaugh the Slasher, and the other is Crocheting Casey, famous for crocheting an afghan from Pine Hollow to Monkey Run. Their question Where is the Washington Bridge Located, was sent in from Deadman Gulch, by the wife of Casanova Coville. His wife formally known as Bernita Westfall, is employed as a bookkeeper in the Umpire State Building. Coville is well known to all women and bobbv-soxers as a crooner. As a special request on tonight's program, we have with us the owner of the Chrysler Motor Co. Mrs. Bob Chrysler, formerly Kathryn Scott, who has ex- celled in the manufacturing of Chrysler cars. Her secretary, Miss Barbara Cousins, is world famous for her typing ability of 500 words per minute. This concludes our program for tonight Ladies and Gentlemen, but be sure to listen next week, same time, same station, when the makers of Merle's Moldy Muffin Mix, brings you their famous Weekly Quiz Program. This is your local announcer, Pat Low, signing off from station C. T. H. S.