Cleveland High School - Legend Yearbook (Portland, OR)

Text from Pages 1 - 92 of the 1928 volume:

.-m mmm THE LEDGER High School ofCommerce JANUARY - 1926 =d BERBER Foreword y . G C — invisible fairy wands, benevolent godmothers, y I f mischievous elves, witchcraft — some mystic power has made it possible for Commerce to house one thousand students instead of five hundred. That we are overcrowded and lack many conveniences we realize. In spite of these con- ditions — or, perhaps, because of them — our reputation is one to be proud of — we are loyal. In this issue of the Ledger the staff have attempted to catch that tangible spirit of close comradeship. They have tried to make fast that warmth of feeling so that we and the rest of the world will never be able to forget that Commerce is the place with the school-spirit. MATOflRET BOHREd ' OUT OF THE HARBOR; INTO THE SEA CLASS SONG Lucille Dodsox Verse The harbor of school has held us Sheltered for four short years, But the day of departure is dawning With its burden of joy and tears. Slowly the anchor is lifted, Slowly the white sails fill With the wind of hope and promise Urging us onward still. Chorus Our ship is strong and steadfast. Sturdy its lines and true, And its sails will carry forward Though skies be grey or blue. Storm will not bar our progress Nor calm impede our flight. And, conquer or lose. The end of the cruise, Will find us with undaunted might. Our cargo is rich and varied Priceless beyond compare For the things that old Commerce has taught us And our hopes and our dreams are there. Peaceful the harbor and tranquil Restless the sea and wide But the anchor chains are broken We must sail with the tide. Page 5 JAMES F., ELTON Principal NELLIE M. WADE Dean of Girls t,E.RSER, MARGARET HAMILTON A gauzy coh ' ueh, silver hue. Catches hrighl droits of jeikele,! dew, A fairy rohe In the grasses ixdii It { riiivs like a ranihoiL- in the sun. Beta Sorosis ' 25, ' 26. MONTE DAVIS Dependable as night and day A friend ii ' ho knoics just ichat to say. Blotter Staff ' 26. Business Staff Ledger ' 26. DOROTHY SINBAD The taicny tiger lily flashing bright Tosses Its mottled head ii-ith joy- ous laugh As the sii-alloiv ivheeling in his dipping flight Passes to ivoo the sunbeam m his path. HAZEL ALLINSON Her presence is so quiet ff ' e hardly knozv she ' s there But her smile is as golden As her sunny golden hair. O. G. A. Pin. ELSIE RIBACK Tlie thunder heads that roll above the plain Throiv moving ink-black shad- oiis on the hill. But thunder heads can bring the scented rain And through their depths the sun is shining still. Gamma Sorosis ' 25, ' 26. JOE PRJNEY A m of the li ' orld, a Sophisli- m is an obvious ncil ' 24, ' 25. s Secretary. FLORENCE BASS . mischievous nrind iails the maple seeds hid dames ixith the tumble ai-eeds. ■Roval ' (;old Pin. (ilce Club. A.MV BOOTH The moon ' s bright silver rays in glee Dance in the sliattered darkness merrily. Silver Pencil ' 25, ' 26. Business Staff Ledger ' 25. heta Sorosis ' 2+. ' 25, ' 26. EARL HE R .- chivalrous monseigneur of old ¥ ranee ll ' itli pomades, fresh soap, and a roving glance. President of Class. Student Bodv President ' 25. Hi-V ' 24. ' 25. JENNIE IREMONGER Slender scarlet poppies sivay To the bee ' s loiv humming gay. Delta Sorosis ' 25. Property Manager. ELIZABETH BERRY A garden of quaint old-fashioned flovi-ers Where hollyhock and larkspur tovser. Gamma Sorosis ' 25, ' 26. O. G. A. Pin. Typing Award. MARGARET BUSH .4 ivee drop of deii- in the heart of the rose Ttiinkles and laughs as the pet- als unclose. Secretary Beta Sorosis ' 25. Glee Club ' 24, ' 25. Page S £ £P60% WINONA SHELLEY The singing pine stands stark against the sky And reaches toivard tlie blue ni:here cloud-ships ply. Artist. Class Plav — Mrs. Hendersun Y PARKER The ' oodfire ' s ' armly-melloii ' steady gloii ' Scatters the looming shadoiis gathering Ioil: Ledger Editing Staff ' 26. Silver Pencil ' 26. Commerce Representative at O. A. C. ' 24. FRANK LE ROUX He ' s French in ' ways and French in name. His zvit is one of his claims to fame. Cross Country Runner ' 25. Basketball ' 25. Football ' 25. RUBY KLEINAU The iL ' illoii: bends its yearning arms to fold The image that the limpid ivaters hold. Beta Sorosis ' 25, 26. Typing Award. O. G. A. Pin. KATHLEEN CRASS Her voice is soft sunny southern skies. The northern pine ivoods slum- ber in her eyes. Beta Sorosis ' 25, ' 26. Assistant Librarian. Typing Awards. JOSEPHINE LAMBERT A mad October icmd ii ' ith merry shout Scatters the dry brov:n leases in heaps about. Class Play — Prompter. Orchestra ' 24, ' 25, ' 26. O. G. A. Pin. VERNA GOLDSTONE Elfin spirits in ivoodland broicn Dance ivith the ii. ' ind and the thistle-doiisn. Beta Sorosis ' 24, ' 25, ' 26. Girls ' Basketball ' 25. 0. G. A. Pin. ORIS MALEHORN He does his mischief in impish fun He iianis his laughter ere life IS done. Entered from Lincoln Orchestra ' 24. NEVA POLNDEXTER Love ' s gentle soothing arms are round her curled She opens li-ide her heart to all the zvorld. Delta Sorosis ' 25, ' 26. Class Play — Mrs. Vivvert. Rooter ' s Club ' 25. CLARA OTT Spanish mosses, silver grey. Over limpid ii-aters SHx-ay. Beta Sorosis ' 25, ' 26. Assistant Librarian ' 25. Typing Awards. JACK OLISHEFSKY Jack is merry, Jack is gay, Jack does his ivork Kith a vuill each day; Jack lends a hand iihen things must he done And Jack, vi-hen it ' s cloudy, lets in the sun. LILLIAN LUND The softness of the fleet-ii-inged winds of daivn Breathe in the loiv-pitched voice from dreamland drais n. Gamma Sorosis ' 25, ' 26. Typing Awards. Page 9 I,ERBER EVELYN HARRIS Tlie purple pansy sways on sini der stem And bends its velvet head, ii royal gem. Alpha Sorosis ' 25, ' 26. Glee Club ' 24. LESLIE MclNTOSH l.anijuid as a summer ' s day But alivays friendly, always gay. Tennis ' 24, ' 25. Basketball ' 23. LILLIE HOOD Love-in-the-mist in its lacy green Lifts a rain-irashcd face ivith sky-hlue sheen. Alpha Sorosis ' 25, ' 26. Girls ' Baseball ' 25. Glee Club ' 24. ■WILBUR HULL The breath of a strong wind over a plain Carries the fragrance of April rain. Hi-Y ' 25, ' 26. Baseball ' 25. Basketball ' 25. DOROTHY WILSON Wistful haunting strains of mel- ody Trail through the purple dusk in ecstacy. President Beta Sorosis ' 26. Honor Roll Student. Ledger Editing Staff ' 26. ALEDA KINKADE The water ' s grace tJiat ripples in her name Runs through her vivid life like a liquid flame. Alpha Sorosis. Typing Awards. O. G. A. Certificate. CLARA PENNISH The rare moon-rose its petals droops And to the lonely daisy stoops The nigh winds draw the leaves apart And thus lay bare the golden heart. .Mpha Sorosis ' 25, ' 26. HELEN JUH.NSON Soft summer skies of filmy blue Reflect the fringed gentians deeper hue. Beta Sorosis ' 25. Entered from Tillamook High School. Typing Awards. EUGENE CAZONE Serious as his mien may be, we know A laugh is never very far below. Entered from Washington ' 24. Room Representative ' 25, ' 26. RUTH MILLS An impish Puck with sparkling eyes IVhere promise of gay laughter lies. Beta Sorosis ' 24. Vice-president Gamma Sorosis ■25. Orchestra ' 22, ' 23. LUCILLE DODSON A flaming poppy misted with the deiv Sways its slim length toward the arched blue. President Silver Pencil ' 26. Class Play — Marcella. Class Treasurer. MILDRED DANNELLS An organ ' s music fills the vaulted aisles — The hermit thrush the soft night wind beguiles. Glee Club ' 24, ' 25, ' 26. Alpha Sorosis ' 25, ' 26. Royal Gold Pin. Page 10 UPSIEM. CHARLOTTE SCHMIDTMEIER T ie soft hushed moments of the dav;n hour long Are broken by the lark ' s ex quisite song. President Gamma Sorosis ' 25. Girls ' Basketball ' 25. Girls ' Baseball ' 25. GLADYS SIDERS T ie Pnrisienne model ot cns molded lips And the tone of bells, deep- throated, from them slips. Gamma Sorosis ' 24. Delta Sorosis ' 25, ' 26. T ' pin Award. WILLIAM FARRELLY Irishmen are flighty things IVith some of hoofs — hut mure of zvings. President Student Bodv ' 25. Hi-Y ' 25, ' 26. Class Play — General Bur- beck. LUCILLE TAGGART S u:eet summer rain through ; boughs drips And into starry mosses slips; Laden ii-ith raindrops, silz-er, fine. The •ivind brings the seent of itr green pine. CJamma Sorosis ' 25, ' 26. OSA LATTNER A soft-iiinyer zephyr, seentcd, deep, Bloiis gently from the fields of sleep. Editor Ledger ' 26. Silver Pencil ' 25, ' 26. Honor Roll Student. ANNA COFFMAX Unseen the timid daisy hides a=u:ay All pass, unnotiring, ii:hite lea ' es unfurled. But tu the kindred things that knoii. ' her joy The daisy is the queen of her small irorld. Second prize, Powers ' letter contest. VERDA JAPPERT Oriental tapestry, priceless and old Lightens its darkness icith threads of gold. Silver Pin, Ledger contest ' 25. First prize in business contest. Alpha Sorosis ' 25, ' 26. ROBERT RAY .7 laugh that had lost its ' u.ay one day Finally came to Robert Ray. It giggled and gurgled a year aii ' ay . nd held his school-mates under SKay. Orchestra ' 23. ELIZABETH SUMMERS Slim mangolds to adoration v:on Lift bright adoring faces to the sun. Beta Sorosis ' 25. Girls ' Basketball ' 25. ARTHUR WILSON Glad ivith the happy gladness of the ivind Soft li ' ith the breathless softness of the rain Strong ix-ith the hidden strength of to -ering crags The forest trails all live in him again. THELMA STEWART Pan on his pipes plays merrily -ind all the floivers dance in glee. President Gamma Sorosis ' 25. Class Sergeant at Arms. Class Play— Sylvia Relyea. VIOLET THAIN Doi!;n the breezy lanes of rain- =u:ashed sky .1 thousand v.nnds ' gay laughter echoes high. ' ice-president Delta Sorosis ' 25. Beta Sorosis ' 24. Girls ' Baseball ' 25. Page 11 I EPM5ER,. FLORENCE DIXON The snowy sea-ytill ' s curviiuj iving Glancei, iisilli spray s iourriti . Beta Sorosis ' 25, ' 26. Secretary Rooter ' s Club ' 26. t;lcc CUil) ' 25. OLIVER WILLIAMS Tall li-illi the height oj a lirr IVhose hranihrs lift toivarJ it cloud-sailed sea. Hi-V ' 25. Ledger Editing Staff ' 26. Typing Award. RUTH ARNDT That humorous yloiv of her friendly glance Sweetens the probe of her tongue ' s sharp lance. Gamma Sorosis ' 25, ' 26. O. G. A. Certificate. Entered from Girls ' Polytech- HAROLD BENSON He goes his own relentless way And never looks behind The troubles of a wicked world Weigh hard upon his mind. Class Play — Sheriff Johnson. OLINE HALVERSON The crystal light of sun-reflect- ing snow Mingles with the tinkling sound of sleigh bells low. Vice-president Beta Sorosis ' 25. Glee Club ' 23. Typing Awards. SIGNE LIBELL A rollicking wind and a madiap sea Whirl in a dance that is wild and free. Gamma Sorosis ' 25, ' 26. Ledger Editing Staff ' 26. Class Play — Auntie. MABI.E (;RABKKL The shadowed hilh oj the land of dreams l-.ilio the music of temple chimes The last faint wind of the twi- light seems Til inrry the intense of tropic climes. Alpha Sorosis ' 25, ' 26. IIII.DREI) AIKINSON The purple lilac in the soft spring night Scatters its perfume nn the zepli- yrs slight. Silver Pencil ' 25, ' 26. Beta Sorosis ' 25, ' 26. Class Plav — Lucille. DE LOSS PETERSON Gold as the gold of a fiery noon Gold as the disk of an autumn moon. Baseball ' 25, Basketball ' 23, ' 24. Sports Writer Blotter ' 25. Class Play — Philip Stanton. LUCY ENGLESTAD Magnolias gorgeous blossoms, waxen white, Haft heai ' y perfume through the tropic night. Silver Pencil ' 25, ' 26. Ledger Editing Staff ' 26. Rooter ' s Club ' 25. SYLVAN HALPERIN Music drips from his skillful hands Like water over silver sands. Hi-Y ' 24, ' 25. Orchestra ' 22, ' 23, ' 24. Vaudeville ' 24, ' 25. CHARLOTTE BRADESON A queen in dusky velvet and old lace She moves with all the willow ' s stately grace. Glee Club ' 25. Gamma Sorosis ' 25, ' 26. Typing Award. Page 12 :-=d) IjERSER RAY SHERMAN Beneath the face so solemn, staid. There are plans of mischief laid. Blotter Staff ' 26. Hi-Y ' 25. Class Play — Judge Sanderson LUCILLE APPLEGATE In her laughter are gay brooks leaping high In her eyes the shadowed dim pools lie. Typing Awards. O. G. A. Certificates. ISAAC FRIEDMAN J skeptic — li-ith a skeptic ' s dreams. Or a dreamer v:ho a skeptic seems. Orchestra ' 23, ' 24, ' 25. Room Representative ' 25. The pixies captured a God ' s dart And buried it deep in the teach er ' s heart. HAROLD H.A.L S Like a J ' iking hold li-ho braved the seas Harold braves the sicarming shes. Hi-Y ' 23, ' 24, ' 25. Foothall ' 24. Track ' 24, ' 25. FLOYD TEEGARDEN -: nature never gray That not a teacher can dismay. Golf ' 24, ' 25. Class Play — ' Trofessor Relyea Letterman. .NL RGARET GILE Gay t iinkling lights like sprites, moon-kissed Are fireflies through the ivreath- ing mist. Gamma Sorosis ' 25, ' 26. Vice-president Joint Sorosis ' 26. President Rooter ' s Club ' 26. scatters its spell like a rose unfurled And sheds its glo=u: on all the Ivor Id. MR. E. O. ALLEN Class Adviser. Class Motto Out of the harbor ; into the sea Class Flowers Yellow Ophelia Roses Class Colors Lemon ellow and Green Page U THE SOCIAL WHIRL The littlt- iilii wiiiiKin bowed her liead on licr arms and wept and wept . W hat could she do; oh, what could she do to t;ive her oldest children one grand, never-to-he-forgotten farewell party? Suddenly she heard a light tap, and peeking through a hole in the shoe that had been worn by the too frequent kicking of ankles by unruly heels, dis- covered King Cole. Now old King Cole, being a merry old soul, after hearing her tale, exclaimed, I have it, and forthwith squeals of delight issued from the conspirators. Invitations were sent around and the expectant Seniors chattered incessantly among themselves. The day arrived and they were ushered into a huge room covering the full sole oi the shoe. Almost everything imaginable was in there and in the center stood a huge book. Becoming curious they began turning pages w hen suddenly Humpty Dumpty jumped out and seizing Earl Henry by the hand, took him over to the wall. Now, sir, he said, I ' m going to teach you how to balance on this wall so that in case you ever get in a tight place vou ' ll have a means of getting out. Now, watch me and catch me if I fall. So Earl and Humpty practiced sitting on the wall. The Seniors turned more pages until the baker ' s man grabbed Ruby Kleinau by the arm. These modern girls, he scolded, don ' t know a frying pan from a hot oven. You ' ll be some cook when I get through with you. Come on and follow me. Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, baker ' s man, bake me a cake as fast as you can. More pages were turned and the funny people kept popping out — first here, then there — until every Senior was busy. Mother Goose surveyed them with a satisfied smile on her lips. Harold Haines, I ' m here to give you some ad- vice, said the wise old bachelor who lived by him- self. Don ' t put your br ead and cheese upon the kitchen shelf, (a restaurant ' s much better,) and when vou seek your life-long mate remember that the roads to New York state are far better than those to London. Oh, Amy Booth, called the beautiful lady who rode a cock horse to Banbury Cross, when you want to dance ()u won ' t need to pa orchestra bills if ' ou wear rings on your fingers and bells on your toes for you ' ll have music where er you go. Come on, Mabel Grabeel, said the old woman w ho was tossed seventeen times as high as the moon, I ' ll give you a ride in m ' good, strong basket and show you what an old-fashioned broom can do. These new-fangled airplanes are extremely slow and these Fuller dusters couldn ' t begin to clean cobwebs from the sky. Peter Piper ' s my name, sir, said he to Harold Benson. 1 have a little question here I ' d like to sec you solve. If I picked a peck of pickled pep- pers, where ' s the peck of pickled peppers that I picked? I know your reasoning is sound and sane — that ' s why I came to you. Oh, said the queen of hearts to Dorothy Wil- son, we ' ll make some of my famous tarts. For Sorosis teas they ' re just the thing and the football boys just love them. But do you kncjw that the knave of hearts did some dandy coaching, and DeLoss Peterson tip- toed to the window, stole the tarts and took them clean away? The king of hearts grew restless and demanded of Joe Pigney, Bring back that knave, and those tarts please save. Eat them yourself, man ; no good king would let him have them! So then DeLoss brought back the tarts, but vowed he ' d steal some more. Sounds of music floated from one corner where Tommy Tucker was giving some sound advice to Sylvan Halperin. If you want to succeed in this world, advised Tommy, you must know one thing thoroughly. I am going to train you to be another McCormick ; then you vill never have to sing for your supper. When it was time for refreshments, Polly said to Kathleen Crass and Clara Ott, Kathleen put the kettle on and we ' ll all have tea. Clara, take it off again, we ' re through eating for this dav. It ' s about time we had some music, suggested old King Cole, but my three fiddlers are absent. Oh, we ' ll play for you! cried Josephine Lam- bert, Ruth Mills, and Hildred Atkinson. Thev Fage U 7- I£P 5E:R . taught us ho v. So while refreshments were served, they played. Suddenly a knocking was heard at the door, and who should it be but Floyd Teegarden. Well, I see my ten o ' clock scholar has not improved any, remarked the school master. Take my word for it, said Monte Davis to the King who was in the counting house counting out his money, I don ' t want blackbird pie — cake ' s a million times better. Listen to the birds sing? Give me a radio any day. Oh, there ' s your wife. This is Florence Dixon who will take my place, said the queen. She ' s just what you want — a wonderful cake maker, but instead of bread and honey, she insists upon French pastry and Whistle. The next arrival was Mary, and, of course, she was followed by her lamb. I think you girls are very clever, she said to Lucille Taggart and Lu- cille Applegate, to have a Chevrolet follow you to school. If you treat it right, it will always want to stay with you. Elizabeth, Eliza, Betsy, and Bess, sang that much-named young lady. Elizabeth Berry and Elizabeth Summers were at once interested. Isn ' t it sort of pleasant not to have to be called the same thing all the time? she asked them. I chose that name because versatility is a good trait to have. Saws buzzed and hammers pounded where Jack Olishefsky, Oris Malehorn, and Frank LeRoux worked. Supervising them were the three wise men of Gotham who went to sea in a bowl. If our bowl had been stronger our story would have been longer, said they; and so having learned by experience, we ' re teaching these young fellows in time. I feel so ashamed, said Miss Muffet to Hazel AUinson, about that incident of the spider that frightened me away. Whenever you sit down for your afternoon tea just spread some fly paper about you. It ' ll save you many a sorrowful moment. Oh there you are! crowed the cock as he ap- peared on the scene. I want you to remember, Violet Thain, that early to bed and early to rise is what makes you healthy, wealthy, and wise. Curly lock, wilt thou be mine? came a voice from the book. You will never do dishes nor feed the swine, but you l dine on shorthand and typing. How lovely, cried Thelma Stewart, as they went a ' vay together. Said Jack Spratt ' s wife to Jennie Iremonger and Margaret Bush, You two should eat together, Margaret eating the lean meat and Jennie the fat. Betwixt the two you ' ll lick the platter clean. Believe me. Jack and I know what it is to econo- mize in these days of high prices! Doctor Gloster, still irritated from his unhappy journey to Foster, seemed to become happy when he spied Osa Lautner. I have been wanting to speak to yo u for a long time, he began. You are always so ready to do for others that I can ' t help but admire you. ' ' ou, like me, will always have many friends. What? Are you hunting for something, Doro- thy Sinbad? asked Little Bo Peep. ' ' I ' es, I ' ve lost m ' curling iron, said Dorothy forlornly. Well if you profit by my experience, you will stop searching, was the advice of Little Bo Peep. Look me over. I ' m the rhymer of ' Orange her ' for ' Porringer ' , Lucille Dodson. I hear you are following in my footsteps. Good idea, if I do say it myself. Ever have any trouble making your words rhyme? You do? Listen, and I ' ll give you some suggestions. Heed them and you ' ll soon be as famous as I am. I am Oz, the great and terrible, exclaimed a wizened man. I refuse to use my brains any longer. They need a rest. Now, you — Excuse me, just a moment, said Hop-o-my- Thumb, but you have such a lovely hand and I must measure William Farrelly. Oh, Bill, you ' re still too tall. And off they bustled. Now you must take my place, continued Oz. Who was he talking to? Why Isaac Friedman, of course. Old Mother Hubbard rushed to the cupboard to get our mascot a bone, but when she got there — oh no, it wasn ' t bare — for Clasky Parker had filled it with no room to spare. Solomon Grundy and Arthur Wilson ate — oh, how they ate! Candy, nuts, popcorn, cake, ice cream, everything. We ' ll fool them, son, he Page 15 MPsm was liiMid t(i muiiilile. Kat all cni can; vc won ' t get sick and tlic ' l! have t(i xxritc aniithcr bid raphy of our lives. Little jack llmru-r took MuKcne Ca .one to the corner and rot ctlier they ate the pic. Said (Jenc, I want a plum! He put in his thumb — but, dear me, he |)ulled out, nistead, some j um ! Pease-puddint; hot, pease-pudding cold, pease- pudding; in the pot nine da s old, but Verda Jappert didn ' t like it hot, and Oliiie Halvorsen didn ' t like it cold so they tested it and anahsed it and experimenteil until it suited them both. Ah ha! My chum! said Peter, Peter, Pump- kin Eater, for Sitine Libell had a wish and couldn ' t keep it. To treat the athletes was her aim, but a proper plan she couldn ' t frame. So Peter gave his pumpkin shell, and her home-made pies were con- sumed very well. Hey diddle diddle, the Cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. It made Elsie Riback worry for they needed cream in a hurry — to put in the coffee, xou know. So up after it she did go. But she found the man in the moon was so nice she wouldn ' t come down. So Wynkum, Blynkum, and Nod took Margaret Hamilton, Charlotte Bra- deson, and Margaret Gile and they sailed in the wooden shoe up to the mt)on and rescued the two. Alas, on their way down Charlotte lost control of the rudder and they fell into Neva Poindexter ' s garden, and say. Mistress Mary was never so con- trary. Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock. It frightened the girls so, Wilbur Hull set a trap ; and after it was caught due respect never lacked. Yes, the pig did get away, cried Tom, the Piper ' s Son, and I want to tell you, Ray Sherman, that I never took anything again that wasn ' t mine. You know, it is only girls that cry. Jack and Jill came through the shoe carrying the ice cream freezer. But, again. Jack and Jill fell down. So Leslie Mcintosh and Charlotte Schmidt- meier quickly took their places. One tragedy marred the party. Little Tommy Tucker ' s dog fell in the well. Who pushed him in? Naughty Oliver Williams. Who pulled him out? Brave Gladys Siders! Ruth Arndt sounded the liorn to tell the folks, for Little Boy Blue was still fast asleep .md the bell on the well was out of order. il.ind) Spandy, Jack-a-Dandy, who loved plum cake and sugar candy, bought too much and called for help. He soon got it for Edna Baumgartncr hurried up eagerly. Anna Coffman was far wiser than the man who was wondrous wise for she didn ' t even jump into a bramble bush and scratch out both her eyes! Three blind mice. How they did run! They all ran after Mildred Dannells w h(j led them into traps. Did you ever hear of such prudence before? There were three dead mice. Winona Shelley helped the old woman of Leeds who spent all her time in g(jod deeds. She worked for the poor, not till her fingers were sore, for Winona had an electric sewing machine! The three little kittens lost their mittens and how the did cry and cry. They made such a clatter that Florence Bass asked, What ' s the mat- ter? and soon put their troubles aright. The old woman of Harrow took Clara Pennish for a partner. But Clara was too modern and scorned the wheelbarrow, and went visiting in a Chevy instead. Verna Goldstone practiced with jumping Joan, who, when nobody was with her, was always alone. Their feats were so amazing that they found to their astonishment that when someone was watching them they were never alone. Said Little Miss Lily, who was dreadfully silly to wear such a very long skirt, to Lucy Engelstadt, If you take my advice and hem your ' s up nice, you ' ll be following the mode that ' s the vogue. Lucy Locket lost her pocket ; Kitty Fisher found it. But they were extremely old-fashioned, for Lillian Lund lost her banking fund. Helen John- son found it. She advertised in Lost and Found and Lillian got it safe and sound. The little girl who had a curl right in the mid- dle of her forehead held tight to Evelyn Harris and said, Like me, when you ' re good, you ' re very, very good, but sometimes I ' m lonesome, for you ' re never, never horrid ! (Continued on Page 66) Pai e 16 1 RSER There zvtis an olil u ' omiiu ivho lived in a shoe; She had so many ehUdren she didn ' t know what to do. She fed thei i on Shakespeare, on Hawthorne, on Keats. Until they all eried, Oh jive us more treats! IT MIGHT HAPPEN BiLLIE WvLDE ' irst Prize As Bob entered the living room of the King home his sister Patracia greeted him, ' Lo, Bob, heard you had a squabble with Alice today. Had her dated up for a masquerade party tonight, too. Just good enough for you. Hope she never speaks to you again. What ' cha gonna do tonight, now? Don ' t hafta tell you, retorted Bob. Don ' t then, but I was just gonna tell you you ' d be in good company tonight if you stayed home. Mom and Pop ' s gone to the Lanes for dinner and Jimmy ' s gonna take me out. Hope you enjoy yourself. Aw! Mind your own business. Ignoring his reply, she asked, Whatcha want for supper. Bob? Nothin ' , he replied. Gee, we got lots of that, she answered. Now, you look here, Pat, roared Bob, don ' t get funny or there ' s gonna be a war. Gee, but you ' d look cute fighting with your- self, retorted Pat as she danced toward the kitchen to prepare their evening meal. Both children attended the same high school ; Bob was a senior, and his sister, Patracia, a junior. Bob was tall and handsome, but rather conceited. He also possessed an easily riled temper; the latest eruption resulted in the so-called squabble with Alice, his best girl. Pat seemed just the opposite. She was not beau- tiful or not pretty, and the only term that really would apply to her would be just Pat. Her blond hair curled in ringlets all over her head. Her blue eyes, which seemed to twinkle with mischief, were shaded by long dark lashes. A slightly pug nose added to her charm. Her lips, one might say, were perfect beyond doubt, if she only held them still long enough for one to judge. Her tongue wagged with a bright saying every time she opened her mouth. She was slim and of medium height. Her nature was, in general, appealing to all who met her; she was liked by everyone, that is with one exception, her brother. Bob, who alwavs said that she talked too much. Pat poked her head out of the kitchen and yelled, He ' , Bob, for the love of Mike — I mean for the love of Alice — come and get 3 ' our supper before I eat it all! What ' s the big hurry? All right, if you don ' t want any supper just say so and I ' ll put it away. Don ' t get rushed, said Bob. Geeminizer, I gotta hurry. Jimmy ' U be here in an hour. When you get through you can do the dishes ' cause I gotta dress. Like fun I will. Aw, go on. Be a good sport for once in your life. ou ain ' t got nothin ' else to do. Grabbing a liberal slice of cake and tossing a kiss at Bob, because she knew it teased him and because she had her mouth so full she could not say anything, she rushed upstairs. Half an hour later Bob was aroused from his interesting job of doing the dishes by a quick tug at the door bell. Wiping his hands on the apron he had on as he went, he opened the door to admit a handsome pirate. Pat ready yet? the pirate asked. Before Bob could answer Pat, herself, appeared in the upper hall wrapped in a dressing gown and }elled, Just a minute, Jimmy, and disappeared again. Bob retreate d to the kitchen without a sound and continued his job. Jimmy started the phonograph and tinkered with the piano. Before the piece on the phonograph was ended Page 19 = EEPSBEf he tiiiiu ' d it off ami tuned in the radio. In tlie middle of an excitintj lecture on The Modern South ' ' Pat appeared and they departed. Hob heard the door slam and the sound of an automobile starting; off. He came into the room and, having turned off the radio, sank into a chair and breathed a sij h of relief. Thank heavens, she ' s one, he said. After meditating a moment he said aloud, 1 ain ' t t;onna stay home all alone. Whereupon he got up and went up stairs. Presently he descended dressed for the party to which he was to have taken Alice. He went out and slammed the door behind him. When he reached the hall, he was asked for his name. What name? he mumbled. Each person is asked to mt under a false name until unmasking time, was the reph . Call me ' West ' , he replied. I might say here that he was dressed as a cow- boy and looked well in his costume. He was introduced to the other masked people as West and then given a number to match for his partner for the first dance. As he neared the end of the hall he heard something drop to the floor. Looking down he saw a dainty white lace fan. He picked it up and handed it to its owner, who smiled and winked at him. He stood gazing at the vision in front of him. A charming young maiden in a much befrilled colonial costume and a large poke bonnet met bis gaze. He collected his wits and asked, May I see your number? It was twenty-one, the same as his. He pocketed the number and sat down. What may I call you? he asked. Miss, Miss — Miss Janice, she hesitated. And yours? she asked. West, he replied. The music started and they danced away. Never in all his life had Bob danced so well. Never in all his life had he danced with anyone who danced so well. They seemed to glide along. The music ended all too quickly. May I have the next dance? he whispered, almost afraid to speak. Sure, she answered and away they went again. And the ncM ? lie ask -d hen they had fin- ished that one. Taken, she re|)lii-d and moved away. He did not see her again until the next t(j the last dance. After the last dance the urnnasking would take place. When the music stopped, he stepped up to her and asked, May I have this one? She turned, and with a bewitching smile, an- swered, Let ' s sit out this one. They went to the balcony and sat down. I think Janice is a beautiful name, he said. Really, she laughed. Td like to know you, he added. And I, you, she replied. May I take you home? he asked. Not tonight, was the answer. The gong sounded for all the party to stand still in the hall. They stood up and beamed at each other. Another gong ; off came the masks with many a gasp and a giggle. Bob stood rooted to the spot. So did Miss Janice. Bob! she screamed. Pat ! he choked. Silence reigned again for a minute, then Pat ' s face fell ; she sat down. Aw gee — she muttered. Gos h, said Bob. Pai e 20 - BERBER. HERITAGE George Pohl Love of a vessel cleavint; The restless sea ; From my father and his father It came to me. The April sun had kissed the sea in the Vest, bathing those cold waters in a lurid, fused glow. Each tinted wave gleamed phosphorescent as it flowed toward the barren shores, coaxing wisps of seaweed that hung back, reluctantly, in its wake. Far, far away to the West and South lay the peaceful land of the Britons, nestling in its downy bed of heather, and Germany and Normandy clothed gloriously in their first spring lilies. Knute sat on an abondoned dory on the rocky coast and dreamed. The rising tide reached for that scarred and rotting veteran of the fishing grounds, but fell back chagrined. The dory was too completely imbedded in the sand to yield im- pulsively to the tide which had once ruthlessly tossed it about. Somewhere on that vast compelling waste roamed his father over the grave of his father in the be- loved schooner. Vixen. What strange lands and strange people he would see. He would sail into their ports and bring home their treasures but enmeshed closest to his father ' s heart lay that little village on the coast where even the moss beneath one ' s feet was nourished with fish-oil. Knute, too, loved that village on the rocky coast because there lived his mother and little Borghild. His boyhood days in the village brought remembrances that were most dear to his heart, ' et a memory of Roald, his childhood playmate, passed before him. That summer day on a raft, floating out to sea. Dark- ness — and the tide, that mocking, insatiable tide! And Roald never came back! An inward feeling of fear held him for the moment, but his place was on the Vixen. Knute would sail with his father this same spring. It had been promised him. His blood surged in restless anticipation. His soul, sea-born, longed for the wastes. Its infinite sweep and fearful depths Fear of the slow fog rolling In from the sea; From my mother and her mother. It came to me. — Borghild Lundherg Lee. intoxicated him and lured him, blindly. Each sea- carved shell echoed its grandeur to him. Then one day the Vixen lay anchored in the sheltered cove before the village, gracefully rising and sinking as the swells rolled rhythmically be- neath her keel. How strong and shapely, and de- fiant she looked and how neatly trimmed her canvas lay on the yards. On her bows were carved the proud name she bore. Soon he would tread her sacred decks; soon he would clamber in her shrouds and square her sails! The days burned down to nights ; and the nights gave birth to days that surpassed the loveliness of their mother. During those days Knute toiled ceaselessly to fit his father ' s ship for the summer voyage. There was much to be done. In those lands men had no leisure for idleness and dissipa- tion ; their women no time for shallow thoughts and petty pleasures. Children of the stern sea they were born and so they died, unafraid and confident. One night the Vixen slipped out with the tide. Knute labored in the days that followed, too dili- gently to surrender his few moments to idle memo- ries and vain regrets. Still at night in his rude bunk two pictures floated constantly in his mind. How clearly he recalled his mother ' s farewell and her lingering embrace. And little Borghild, his sweetheart, — her smiling reproof and caution, and that hurried stolen kiss were eternally burned and seared on his brain. How pretty she was that day in her blue, calico dress and square bonnet from which her flaxen hair crept to frame those eyes, deep blue as the midnight sky in the Scandinavian winter. The crew of the Vixen worked intermit- tently from dawn to sunset with the tangled nets, and ropes, and baited lines and barbarous hooks. All must be ready and the dories equipped properly. (Continued on Page 62) Page 21 LECSBER, CAREERS TO MEND OsA Lautner Prize Essay Dickens may liave had his slums iind Thureau his woodlands, hut 1 — I insist upon a double-walled room in the top story of the Woolworth building. Why? My reasons are manifold. Many are the time 1 have fjroaned, Oh, if 1 were only a Bee- thoven, or words to that effect. He was the fellow who could compose music with a bloody war ra int; in the street below. That was genius indeed. But when it comes to writing an English composition I find that genius was all right. Concentrate! they say. So one night 1 came home and concentrated. I concentrated from 3 ' til 6 for an idea to write about. Vigorously I washed dishes and determinedly I groped for an Idea — in vain? No sir, I got one. Well, I settled down to be another Booth Tarkington. I scrib- bled intently for about five minutes when — How do you spell magic? M-a-g-i-c, I muttered. Where was I? Oh yes. And the clock tick-tocked. Say, I remarked, don ' t you think that was a fine pep assembly we had today? It being a weighty question it was thoroughly discussed. The clock kept on ticking. Half an hour later I grasped m pencil with a make-a-touchdo M)-or-die air. What came next? Let me see — was that the right word? Oh dear, I must get some typing paper tomorrow. Pie Eater Takes Pie Baker ' s Offer. What ' s that! Isn ' t that queer? Still the clock tick-tocked. I regrasped my pencil. Ah ! The hero must prove his metal — he must — must — What should he do? I have it! He shall — President C(jolidge came to tlie metropolis to interpret the business side of — With an exclamation of despair I pushed my paper aside. Shucks. H. B. W. had enough com- petition. What was happening to Orphan Annie? The clock kept persistently on — tick, tock. Well, after everyone had gone to bed I finally finished m ' story. Nine hours to write three pages. Something had to be done. Therefore, my demand for an isolated habitation. I gazed at the clock and found that a forbidding twelve held full sway. A feeling of horror swept over me. It was after nine — curfew — and I was still out — out of bed. But the funny part was the clock didn ' t say a thing — it just kept on ticking. SERENADE Lucille Dodson Tenderly borne on the night wind ' s wings Gently and slow, gently and slow, Under the moon where the nightingale sings Softly and low. Swing on the tide in your ship of dreams. Capture a cloud for a sail and sweep Out in the blue where the star-foam creams And sleep, my precious one, sleep. Rock with the waves on a sea of dew. Gently and slow, gently and slow, Lost where the breath of the rose drifts through Softly and low. Down the lanes of the jeweled sky Scattering spray o ' er the dusky deep Glide with the winds where the dreamlands lie And sleep, my precious one, sleep. Paffe 22 EERSER. The Adventures of Benjamin Handsome, Esquire Mary Grunen (This is a story of a boy — just an ordinary boy over whom a good fairy waved a magic wand whispering softly, Sleep, and in thy dreams become thy heart ' s desire. Lo! The boy has disappeared and in his place stands Captain Kidd, the terror of the seas. This is the adventures of Benjamin Handsome, Esquire, alias Captain Kidd.) Along the deck of the Pinta swaggered Captain Kidd. His eagle eyes eagerly scanned the seas for victims. The day so far had brought nothing, and the captain was in none too sweet a mood. Woe to the man who stumbled across his path. Ho mate! What is that yonder? Devil take the luck! As I live, a ship! But Captain, the ship is strong. It bears the flag of a powerful nation. Mayhap it ' s wiser to look elsewhere for victims? cautioned the mate. What? Has thy heart turned to water? Be- ware ! I have no use for cowards. To thy places, my hardies! Ten pieces of gold to the man who first boards the ship! But on the other ship the joy was not so great. Men, women, and children trembled. They realized what it meant to fall into the hands of the terror of the seas. They fought, they fought gallantly, but some force was against them. It seemed as if the very waters helped the pirates. Look! They are on the ship, someone screamed, and tumult and fright gripped even the hearts of the bravest. The day is ours, shouted the captain. Back, back my men ! Death to the man who harms anyone! Any man who dares disobey me will find this world too hot for him. Are we to be cheated of our gains? murmured the men rebelliously. Surely the sun has touched the head of our captain. He is mad! What! Dare you question my will? Be care- ful, ye dogs! Who knows, but that you may your- selves walk the plank. They slunk away for they knew what the cap- tain was capable of doing in one of his fine rages. The prisoners trembled. They feared that this queer softening of the heart brooded ill for them. I will harm none of you, he exclaimed mag- nanimously. Wait! I believe that is a school- master over there. Bring him forward instantly. 1 have no love for your kind, he shouted as the cringing man was dragged forward. Mercy, great captain, mercy! Silence him! I do not desire to hear the whim- perings of yon dog. Away with him! Put him in irons, he commanded as the man was dragged awa ' . Many a day the terror roamed the seas, and many a good ship likewise fell into his hands. But, strange to say, Benjamin Handsome, alias Captain Kidd, spared many victims. The civilized world was genuinely surprised. The terror was becoming a terror no more, and the seas, a pleasanter place to sail on. A famous man was he. Kings and princes trembled before him. His Majesty, King of England, pardoned this outlaw and bestowed upon him the title. Admiral of the Seas. Even the captain was quite puffed up with his own import- ance. Fate decreed it so. Of all fair damsels in distress whom should he rescue but Madeline, his sweet- heart. She knew him instantly, and throwing her arms about him, cried, How heroic you are! How wonderful, that, of all people, you should be my rescuer. Oh that is nothing. I am always glad to help a maiden, especially a pretty one. Otherwise, I am through with women. A man with my future cannot be disturbed by such creatures. Poor captain, he little knew with whom he was dealing. One glance and he was defeated. Well, one cannot blame him. Viser men than he have succumbed to the lures of the so-called weaker se.x. How could he, a mere man, resist her? Crash! The spell broke ! Benjamin awoke. He was stupefied. In the place of the maiden he hugged tightly a sour-faced schoolmaster and fer- ently was kissing his one bald spot. For the im- petuous demonstration of affection he received a whipping and for falling asleep, another one. Be- tween the two, Benjamin ' s back was mighty sore. Poor lad ! Alas for Fate ! How could she so have misplaced Benjamin? Page 23 d LERSER. BROTHERS Bl-LLA HORNSTIUN definable. They are minute and miss the other you want one, and (III suddenly change your ' t x ant him. Ids of brothers, the kid brother. The kid brother t w hich grates on your nerves. ing in on big sister ' s company ibed out. He is that little tale- mother know who took you home, ed to school with you, et cetera. I certain part of the chicken, it sud- denly jum into his mind to want the same piece. If you go to the movies, he wants to go along with you. When onl - the two of you arc home at night, and you happen to be timid, he keeps saying, Oh, don ' t you hear the door slam? H you tell him a secret and ask him if he can keep it he an- Brothers are something something ' ou don ' t ne.xt. H you ha ' t when you do get mind {pro tem) aiuj There are tw brother and the ' , is that everlastin He is alw; and has bearer w which bo If VOU WF swers, I ' ll tell the world, and he surely does. The big brother is that one, two or three years older than yourself. He tells you what to do and when to do it, where to go and how to act. He thinks that he is the only one that knows it all — and poor sister is just a girl — dumb like all the rest. But how could we get along without that mis- chievous kid brother? If he were gone a few days we ' d miss him greatly. The house would be as still as a grave yard if he were not ar(jund shout- ing war whoops. After all he is all right when we agree. You can ' t blame him for wanting the same privileges that you have, for don ' t you want everything those older than you get? Big brother is a real prince when he quits bossing and takes you out for a good time. In spite of all I ' m glad I have both a kid ' brother and a big brother. ' N ESSAY Robert Hanson One night in a state of complete mental and physical exhaustion I boarded a street-car to go home. My brain was in a jumble and I had barely enough strength to move my pedal ex- tremities. I put the cash into the conductor ' s hand, staggered into the car, and fell into a seat. Sights that usually interested me held no attraction for me. Finally, I gave up trying to think or do anything, and let my eyes wander where they would. First, they glanced at my fellow-passengers, and then at the advertisements overhead. As I read them, an idea began to formulate itself in the back of my head. Tired as I was, this idea forced itself upon my brain. My whole being protested such an outrage, but to no avail. The idea gained force and I finally gave up and resolved to let it run its course. Surely, it could do no harm. The idea was that I should make some article — no, article is not right, some — some — I groped for a word to describe this— this Thing. Ah! At last! Thing! The very word. That ' s what it was, a Thing! H-m-m-m. Let me see. What qualities would it be necessary to have? If I could only put it over; if I only could. My brain was in a fever of excitement, but it was fully awake and had thrown off the burden of inertia. I vainly tried to con- trol my thoughts and direct them into reasonable channels. I smiled at the folly of it all, but I could not forget it and mental faculties raced in their work to pick out features and qualities. After a few seconds of consideration I finally decided that it would have to have these qualities, at least. The Thing would have to be 99 44 1007o pure, and float ; it would have to have 200 house- hold duties; it would have to be white as snow and everybody ' s friend ; it would bring out the finish of anything on which it was used ; it must not (Continued on Page 60) Pac e 24 -= U5PBUI TRIAL OF A COLOSSUS Katherixe Sawatsky Second Prize Cradled in a hollow of the rocking plains lay Oskeg, Pro ince of Saskatchewan, Canada — a vil- lage one mile square, no more, no less. Surrounded by salt-peter marshes, low brown treeless hills, and jagged ravines, the old town lay basking in the hot summer sun of an early morning in the year 1916. All around — north, south, east, and west — stretched the monotonous billowing prairie, Louis D ' Orvans ' native land, ending in an unchanging horizon of dark earth and blue sky. It was a calm, peaceful scene that D ' Orvan looked upon from the window of his cabin. But a frown furrowed his forehead. He was anticipat- ing a distasteful familiar event. The slight, dark French-Canadian was waiting for MuUy, his huge blond comrade, to deliver an habitual daily ora- tion. The speech was usually monotonous, and therefore, Louis welcomed every variation in his comrade ' s pious reproofs. Soon Mully got up from the table where he had been poring over the contents of the Bible. Louis, mark my words, began Mully with a gruff hem and haw. Ef you don ' t begin to read the Holy book pretty soon, you ' ll ne er see heaven. Instead of readin ' the Bible every mornin ' and evenin ' like I do, you stand and look at them funny bumps of land out there. I ' m a-warnin ' you now. It ' s only religious people as die peaceful and easy like. In answer D ' Orvan beckoned silenth to Mully to follow, and they went out to their daily work at the grain elevator just two blocks from the cabin. All the foregoing procedure had been a part of each day ' s curriculum ever since Mully had suc- cumbed to the wiles of a passing evangelist ten years ago. As they approached the weighing platform of the elevator. Ramus, the foreman, came quickly forward to meet them. D ' Orvan, something ' s wrong with the scoop belt in the lower section of the main bin, third floor. Take Mully with you and repair it in a hurry. We ' re going to run up a new carload of wheat in an hour from now. D ' Or an nodded, picked up some tin, hammer, and nails, and entered the first floor of the elevator with Mully following him closely. Here the at- mosphere was charged with the deafening rattle, chug, and clank of the big twenty-four horsepower steam engine that propelled the long scoop belt up to the third floor and then down again to the basement bins. Mully went to the engine, pulled out a lever, and stopped the scoop belt. Amid the shouts of warning from their fellow workers who were busy with the hoppers and fanning mills, the two ascended the rude ladder to the third floor. Every man in the elevator knew the danger of going to the upper floor grain bin. One slip o er the edge would send the unfortunate one into the deep grain where the continued downpour of wheat would completely ' co er him in ten minutes ' time and suffocate him. L ' pon reaching the top, Louis crossed the narrow plank over the huge bin to the lower section with the agility of a mountain goat. But Mully eyed the plank doubtfulh ' . Come over and hang your watch on that nail so we can tell when to quit, said D ' Orvan from where he stood with one foot on a beam and the other foot on the plank. Mully gingerly shuffled his way across, and after several attempts, put his right foot against the beam to steady himself and hung up the watch. But now, Mully ' s most difficult problem was to get back to normal position. With his usual lack of precision he calculated the distance from his foot to the plank, and stepped wide of the mark. Wildly waving his arms to regain his balance, MuUy clutched at D ' Orvan as a last resort. The sudden impact precipitated both of them into the grainy sea of wheat, and two sickly thuds marked the end of the headlong flight. Fool! What did you do that for? exclaimed D ' Orvan in anger as he wriggled his head and Page 25 BERBER, arms up througli the t raiii. It ' s a wonder oii had the presence of mind to shut off the helt. He h)()ked across at Mulh ' s face, the onh ' pro truding representative of the hlond ' s emotion. Mul- l5 ' ' s small hlue eyes hlinked rapidly like startled beacons on the background of his chalky face. With full realization the eyes shifted like a cowardly, slinking coyote ' s from this object to that. Silence reigned, for the astounding shock had produced a decided effect upon our blond Colossus ' frame and had silenced his loquacity for the time being. An eternity of w aiting ensued. D ' Orvan thought of the watch and looked at it. Only five minutes left! There was one chance in ten that Ramus would miss them and begin searching. MulU ' fol- lowed Louis ' glance. He passed his parched tongue over his huge blanched lips. With clenched fists he rained a torrent of iolent beatings upon the merciless grain. It held him prisoner. Eloquent curses sailed from his lips straight at their target, D ' Orvan, and rebounded with elasticit . The Frenchman shut his eyes and waited. Do something, ou fool, screamed Mull . Can ' t you see ' m dying! His sobs blended rythmically with the distant chug of the engine two stories below. Can ' t you pray led D ' Orvan impatiently. God helps those who help themselves, Alully. Maybe your Bible will help you now, eh what? Only one minute! A shrill whistle pierced the air. It was the signal to begin running through the new load of wheat. D ' Orvan smiled. He shut his eyes and waited — calm, peaceful. Dust to dust ; ashes to ashes. Over and over again the words ran through his mind like the ceaseless wheels of destiny ' s machine. A sudden shiver marked the momentary peep back into the past, and all was calm again. He felt a merciful, restful oblivion. Could tlii be a foreboding of death. ' Dust to dust; ashes to— Here, get yourselves out of there quick! shouted someone from above. It was Ramus with a welcome rope in his hands. Mully stared upward steadiK as Ramus tied one end of the rope to the beam, and when the foreman swung out the other end, Mully was the first to catch it. In spite of his excess of avoirdupois he had hoisted himself up and over the edge of the bin in quicker time than it takes to tell it. Without a w ord or backward glance, he vanished down the ladder. Soon D ' Or- van was safely on the plank again. As he turned to go he was conscious of a distant rush. He paused, one foot in the first rung of the ladder, and listened intently as the rush changed to a roar. His gaze riveted on two hollow places in the low-er section. The next moment the oncoming wheat rushed with terrific momentum upon two queer indentations, and soon all traces of the recent im- prisonment had vanished.     It was morning again. D ' Orvan stood before the window of the cabin contemplating his own individual insignificance in Dame Nature ' s plan of beautiful scenery. Mully shut his Bible, arose from his chair, and advanced a step. Louis, mark my words, he began. I hope that what happened yesterday will be a lesson to you. You weren ' t prepared because you wouldn ' t read the Bible. I was prepared and — A withering look from the Frenchman checked the speech, and the rest of it was lost in incoherent mutterings. There are times when variations are verv welcome. And now, D ' Orvan smiled with relief. At least, Mully had changed his original speech ! SUNSET HiLDRED Atkinson The setting sun has painted the sky A gorgeous glowing gold. With magic brush that ' s held on high The setting sun has painted the sky Just when night is drawing nigh. Lake armor in days of old The setting sun has painted the sky A gorgeous glowing gold. Page 26 UJP!S3tR The First Kiss Lucille Dodson Futility Fave Howe Second Prize Mist on the water Drifted blue, Silver-srey starlight Sifted through, Music flowing Like liquid wine Dripped with the throb Of ' our lips on mine. Crisp crags that blotted out the blue Were steps of a laddered way Which I sought to climb like a dream-mad elf To learn what old stars sav. I climbed and climbed up the rocky path. And the sky vas still, and the sea; Till ;vorn with struggle I gained the top — But the stars were no nearer to me. The Quest of the Thistle- Do vvn Fave Howe 1 ' irst Prize I love a road that runs along Like lyric cadence of a song. I love the water, mirror-topped. Where shore-lined images have dropped. And star-swept wastes of tumbled sea Have a salt-sweet tang that calls to me. I want to go with a violin Down the ribbon-road where the sun rides in And ushers dawn, in ecstacy. To a dew-dashed world that is gay and free. Oh I long to tread the gypsy road. Follow the thistle-down, leaving my load Of sorrow and burdening duties behind, And roam the earth like a restless wind. Oh sometime I ' ll leave my troubles and go To the land where a honey-sweet moon swings low Over mountain village and seaport town On the ageless quest of the thistledown. Derision Siegfried Rosen Vbere er I may be roaming. The moon peers in my face. She stares like a kind old lady. Wrapped in her wind-blown lace. She thinks that she knows my dreaming, And what the years foretell ; So she follows me with her gleaming. And lures me with her spell. Her eager fingers unravel The threads about her throat; She ' d give her years of travel To hear my unsung note. But the secret of mine is hidden Beneath a brimming well. And I laugh at the miles she ' s ridden To lure me with her spell. Page 27 I ERGER TOMMY JUST TOMMY Elmur Lincoln Tommy anted to chase tlie j cesc. cs, sir, liis whole soul and hody longed just to chase those {jahbiy old kpcsc all over the yard. But there was Mother, — she was always meddling; around in what- ever he wanted to do. Al va ' s she was telling him to Don ' t do this or don ' t do that. Leave Dad ' s hammer alone! Tommy! Come right this minute and fill the wood box. TomiriN ! Tommy! Don ' t };o in the goose ard, — they ' ll peck your eyes out. Tommy-e-e-e ! ! Aw, what does she know about geese? Wh ' I ' m pretty stout and 1 guess I can show an old goose that ever lived how to fight. With eyes filled with longing and wistfulness he would stand for hours at a time watching the old ganders strut about ; their sole ambition seemed to be in waddling just a little more awkwardly than their immediate neighbor. And poor Tommy gazed upon this vanity with pent up emotion. His heart seemed to expand ; he kept swallowing rapidly and his breath came in quick succession. Yes, indeed, Tommy wanted to chase geese. He was destined to have his wish. One day Aunt Hallie came on a visit. She did not like little boys, and so she didn ' t like Tommy. Tommy didn ' t shed tears over this fact; he didn ' t like her anyway. She was constantly combing his hair when he came around. Rats, Tommy trotted toward the geese pen from force of habit. She makes me sick! Tommy! Tommy! Mother ' s voice halted him midway. Oh, Tommy! Tommy cast a regret- ful look toward his intended destination then obedi- ently shambled back to the kitchen door. What ch ' want, IVLi? he made his voice sound as tired as he could. Son, came from the depths of the kitchen, Dad and I are goin ' over to Uncle Dudley ' s with Aunt Hallie. You stay here and don ' t scare them geese. They won ' t take on fat if you go and bother em! Dy ' d hear me? Tommy! Yes, Mom. Tommy was properly overawed. Can ' t I have som ' in to eat? Nope. We just had dinner an hour ago. My! You ' ll dri e nie to distraction with ' our eternal hunger. Go away and play! Tommy did get away. His way led incidentally to the geese yard. As he eagerly glued his anguished eyes on the in- different geese, a sudden thought caused him to scamper hastily to the old apple tree. From here he had a good view of the road. Yes, sir, there they went. Hurrav! Me and the geese are gonna mix and I ' m goin ' to have my way for once! Tomm approached with eager steps; he was bubbling over with rising excitement. Geese, geese, geese, he chanted. Geese, geese — you ' re goin ' to get exercise! With some difficulty he unlatched the gate and for the first time, he stepped into the forbidden territory. Yes, sir, that old gander ' way over by the iron kettle. That was the one. M-m-my, I bet he c-c-c-can g-g-go! stuttered Tommy. His ambition was about to be gratified. This was the supreme moment. All the stored up passion of da s, week, months, and as far back as he could remember, surged up in him and with a whoop he flung himself forward. So overwrought had he been that he had not noticed an old gander eyeing him attentively at one side. The gander had him sized up as a very little boy and one who shouldn ' t be there. Plainly it was his duty to drive the nuisance out! He ad- Page 28 upsm vanced with neL ' k feathers erect. At this minute, Tommy gave his warcry and took his course for the innocent gander ' way over by the iron kettle. Tommy never knew just quite how it happened. But anyhow a sybilant hiss sounded right behind him. This was promptly followed by the spat, spat, spat of hard, bony wings urging on an angered vengeance. The next instant something clamped on his pants and it didn ' t take Tommy long to guess that pants wasn ' t all the clamp got. Tommy responded with a startled yell and tried to whirl himself free. In vain! The lusty gander was of the bulldog type and somehow Tommy suddenh ' didn ' t want t(5 chase that old gander ' way over by the iron kettle. In fact, he wanted something else. He wanted to be on the outside of that gate so far, far away and he wanted to get there badly. A hurried glance confirmed this desire considerably. He saw gander upon gander all making their can- non-ball charge upon him with long necks stretched in anticipation and wide open clamps fairly ach- ing — Tommy didn ' t look any more. Mother ' s last words came to him vividly. They won ' t take on fat — Tommy was gaining on the geese and had he not tripped probably would have made it. But he tripped, and tripped he stayed. Bony wings beat him back. Clamp after clamp fastened on him. It didn ' t hurt so bad when they clamped on, but when they slipped off — Tommy writhed with pain and covering his face with his arms, resigned himself to death. Suddenly Tommy came to life. Not only to life but fighting mad. A gander had deliberately fastened on his big toe and Tommy fought. He lashed out left and right and kicked mightily. The geese withdrew and stood hissing at him from too short a distance. Tommy came to his feet and at the same time the innocent goose from ' way over b ' the iron kettle arrived. He wasn ' t the least bit bashful and Tommy fled. He tore through the gate and shut it in time to stop another assault of infuriated geese. Two days later Tommy was gazing thought- fully at the waddling geese. Tomm ! Oh, Tommy! came from the smoke house. Don ' t go and bother them geese. They just can ' t stand being flustered. Now stay away from there! Tommy?!! All right. Mom. Tommy sincereh felt certain spots tenderlv. I won ' t! And as he headed for the pig pen he murmured positively, ' ou bet I won ' t! THE HARP OF WINDS F.-vYE Howe On the harp of winds I played a song Like the wail of trees at night, Like the laugh of water in the sun When May buds pink and white. I played on threads of thinning air That throbbed in a wine-mad way. As if a dream were struggling there And half-unfettered lay. I played and played till the slim strings broke And my mind had lost its gleam . . . Still on the lips of winds I heard The echoes of a dream. Page 29 - UJPSoUl Sea Bound Kennktii Collins Oh 1 met a man whose body was bent Like the bmbs of a wind-blown tree, And whenever I jjazed into liis grey eyes, 1 dreamed of a distant sea. Oh liis whispered words were alwa s few, And whene er he walked with me, it would seem that 1 made my way alone On the dunes of a distant sea. Oh the dust of death now has closed his eyes, And his year bent body is free; So I know it will journe) to join his soul AVhere it drifts on a distant sea. Fall Pruning GnoRGi; PoHL I loved to watch a waving tree, That grew before our door. The lisping soft winds lingered there Starved from a treeless shore. The Brook WiLDRED M.ARK Gurgling, laughing, dancing little brook, Flashing in the sunlight, through the shady nook. Sparkling little riplets, tossing in the summer air, ' Neath the pretty butterflies in the summer air. I loved that saddened lonely tree That blossomed new in spring, I knew each rustic, curving bough Where orange-hued songsters sing. One day a crew of strange men came, With axes, saws, and blades, A wild fear swept thru me in fright, I vaguely watched, afraid. They cut those shapely rounded limbs, And wrenched them from her side, A tremor shook her naked form. Grey stumps in sorrow cried. They dragged away the bleeding limbs. Of that old maple tree; I wondered why those wretched men Had torn the limbs from me. Birdies in the tree tops who sing their pretty songs. Stop to hear its murmuring as it rolls along, As it flashes in the sun, this merry little brook Gliding through the marshes and through the shady nook. Dancing little brooklet, joyous little stream. When the sun is shining how your ripples gleam, Traveling in the sunlight, in the starlight too Laughing in the day time, and all the long night through. Never seem to tire though your journey ' s long. Always singing to me your murmuring little song; ' our course is sometimes westward, and sometimes to the east, But ou ' ll never, never stop, and your song will never cease. Pae e .W EEPMSER There was an old ivonian U ' lto lived in a shoe: She thought she ' d slioii ' others ichat her children could do. fVith a tivinklint eye and a clever thought Out of their habits great fun she ivrought. BY THEIR DRESS YOU SHALL KNOW THEM Ahva s look for Axel Pearson in a bro«n plaid dress. Nathan Campf looks his best in a light brown suit ith a long coat to match his golden hair. Thelma Downing is very stunning in a brown plaid swagger shirt to match the red glint in her hair. Quite often you may find Sylvan Halpcrin in a tan sweater and a blue skirt. They look ver well with his brown curls. The bloom of Kathryn Shaffer ' s plump cheeks contrasts well with her powder blue suit. Leslie Mcintosh has the prettiest white sweater that he wears with a light plaid skirt. Francis Culver ' s blue checked sweater has taken our eye; but we wonder how come? Genevieve Itkin has the most cunning black sweater trimmed with orange letters. Don ' t you think Swede Gronquist looks cute in his red jumper dress and white blouse? Aivin JVIerrill ' s pretty brown curls are shown to their best advantage when he wears a blue and gray dress. When looking for Howard Wilson always look for a henna dress with blue collar and cuffs. Howard VanWagner looks better in his purple balbriggan than in an otiier dress he wears. Grace Riedell looks best when she wears a blue and white checked sweater. This looks nice with her blond pompadour. Assistant librarian is the title claimed by both Clara Ott and Kathleen Crass and they well de- serve it. For three terms they have helped the librarian after school in repairing the ravages of the day. Their work consists in shelving books, circulation, making new cards, filing, and other miscellaneous duties. Faye Howe at heart still belongs to the Led- ger . To her give credit for many of the jokes found in this issue. Bertha Kristol and Lena Leveton, both second termers of portable B, are realized as promising dramatists. For a Christmas program in their Fnglish class, they have arranged a sketch from Dickens ' Christmas Carol, a difficult task re- quiring much outside study and practice. INSANE ASYLUM Name iegfrieci Rosen Verda Jappert Wilda Williams Retha Kiser Morrie Levoff Elizabeth Gourlay Virginia Carter Faye Howe Alec Sprawkins Phyllis White Harold Brown Vivian Charters Alice McKay DeLoss Peterson Howard Wilson Edith Cantor Howard Kerr George Pohl Kenneth Richards Marjorie Pangborn Conspicuous Because of Excitable nature Her red dress Immense size Upsetting ways Knowledge of history Half SOX Following the Gleam Poetic eyes His tee-nder look Goldv locks ll ' lien Delirious Calls For Oorothy Canfield Fisher Work to do Vanity case A canoe Peanuts Somebody ' s Comp. Teddy bear Absent members A caddy Pair of stilts Relationship to Cartoonist JatkBread and jam Dramatic nature Spit curl Kiddishness Likeness to Daniel Webster Her vest pocket size Black eye Hatred of rhyme His rolled sox Her insight Literary review of Blotter Orphans Baseball bat His golf knickers His Chrysler Leeches More pencils His car Dictionary In Case of Recovery If ' ill Be (Jeorge Pohl ' s guardian Judge of Powers ' correspond- ence Pavlowa ' s rival Mechanic Pitcher of the Senators Yell leader Detective Old tnaid Bookkeeping expert Somebody ' s darling A Red Grange Sane Tickled pink Santa Claus School teacher Taffy puller Professional ice skater Public excavator Commerce ' s fashion plate Elevator operator Pat e JS :?= :- LERSER Coach Carpenter Air. Carpenter ' s theur - was that there must be a spirit of fight and cumradeship among the b oys to make a team a winner. He wanted eleven men in every play, and he wanted eleven men working together — fighting in unison. He knew the good points and the bad points about every man, and he knew when to play each man. He had no first team, but he maintained a squad of about eighteen men whom he understood ; and from these eighteen men he built a wonderful yardage-gaining machine. He knew what was the matter with us, and we were confident that he did. He corrected our faults. It is our opinion that Mr. Carpenter ' s first sea- son of coaching was successful. We will not be new to him next year, and those of is who will be back feel sure that our plays will work well from the start. — The Football Squad. The Team ' s Gratitude 1 lien- are many minor details tliat seem unim- portant to tlie spectator, but really have some bear- ing upon tlu- team ' s standing as a x hole. For instance, Fd Cionquist says, Ihe fact that 1 had light pliable shoes this season caused me to be an All Cit i!nd. Ka Dielschneider says, My suc- cess was due to the naps I took before each game. Captain Cheney says, My successful passing was m.ide possible by the holding of the line for its re- ipiired time. Then too, Coach Carpenter should receive ail credit for his ingenuity in selecting our equipment for this ear. W ' e had the best mone) could buy. We had speciall made pants for the tackles, guards, and center, while the backs and ends had pants made of rubber to wear on such days as the Jef- ferson game. Coach had a dozen storm jerseys to protect the plavers who were on the bench. Our team had excellent medical attention — a ph sician and a field doctor to attend to cuts, bruises, and broken bones at the games and practices. Coach realized all these things were essential to put out a winning football team. He never balked at the cost of an article because it was too high. Often he went into his own pocket and paid for some particular thing wanted. He even bought shoes for some of the boys who didn ' t have the money ready at the time needed. Often he treated us to gum to quiet our nerves before the games. He got the Multnomah Club for Sunday practices and then took the boys swim- ming in the club tank afterwards. Nothing was too good for his team, your team, our team. His kind words at the time we needed them most — when the tide was against us — inspired a loyalty that made us give the best we had to do the thing all men want to do most — to win. The boys feel as if Mr. Carpenter is one of them. He has inspired comradeship, respect, and a de- termination to do his bidding. He ' s one of us — he ' s Our Ben Carpenter. Ptiffe 34 -:C LERSER. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. Philosophy What a whale of a difference just a few cents make — on banking day. Say it with flowers — after a test. It pays to advertise — Some Bab . The skin you love to touch — pigskin. They satisfy — the faculty. Quality not quantity — JMaxine Motley. Children cry for it — The Ledger. It floats — Seniors ' gray matter. One dollar down — and the building is yo urs. Gets it — The Blotter. Every five seconds of the year, a new cus- tomer for — Commerce. Can ' t bust ' em — our banking accounts. Hasn ' t scratched yet — our Christmas jew- elry. Credit with a smile — in Bookkeeping. Keep in a cool, dry place — Mr. Elton ' s umbrella. AN UNIQUE ESSAY To Laurette Wheeler belongs the credit for origi- nality and uniqueness in an essay assignment for history. Laurette illustrated nineteen types of co- lonial costumes, gave detailed lists of comments of our ancestors ' wardrobes to accompany each illus- tration. She then bound the collection and de- signed her own cover — ' tis a clever little book. I Want it Understood That: I am not posing: — I. Friedman. I am handsome : — A. Berlow. I am not a ladies ' man: — H. Sammons. I am here for an education: — F. Teegarden. I am growing a little longer : — C. Croft. I can manage anything: — H. VanWagner. My hair is natural: — M. Levoff. I do not like milk: — N. Fones. I like girls: — D. Dunham. I am bashful : — E. Cheney. I am not dignified: — H. Wilson. I can ice skate: — H. Kerr. I pay for my lunch : — R. Delschneider. I am clever: — Monte Davis. cmticQf iiitj Mary had a powder puff ; Its fleece was white as snow. And everywhere that Mary went The puff was sure to go. She took it to the school one dav ' h:ch was against the rule; It simply wrecked the class morale To see a puff in school. So teacher took the puff away. Unpowdered and uncurled Miss Mary ' s now a shining light In the intellectual world. Altliough Lucille Dodson is nut on the Ledger staff, she has done much for it. She has written original mottoes for all the graduates and has also written the class song. Arthur Bish and Alvin Har e are working their way through school by helping Mr. LaSpronce as custodians of the building. Page 35 I RSER From the Diary of the Football Manager, P ed Meyer Wed., Ottoher 1 . I li(iiicstl meant to work (ill ni ' bookkeeping last niglit — I was only four days be- hind. Mr. Rude was hot on ni trail. Oh ! — there again. 1 torgot in books — Blame it on Herlow, the last one out as usual — and Ed LaSpronce — always driving me out be- fore 1 can collect my wits — let alone my books. School for me the next morning at seven, just as the janitor opened the door. I worked an hour. Fred, telephone call in the office, yelled Art. It was Ira Mather, coach of Scappoose High. We there arranged a game for the freshmen of the two schools. On my way out 1 saw the mail on the secretary ' s desk. Not many letters today! Just fifteen to answer by the end of the half hour period and two classes besides. Goodbye, bookkeeping, for another day. No third and fourth period classes for me either. I had to pack the equipment for the big game that afternoon. As the noon bell rang, I had the last box of equipment ready for the transfer man. I ran up- stairs, waited in line for the use of the telephone. Ten minutes later I had my man. There was just enough time to allow a couple of sandwiches, when I heard the horn of the im- patient transfer fe llow. We got everything loaded. Finally we left for Multnomah Field. Another half hour slipped by to unload the equipment in our usual locker room. When things were all in order a man came into the room. This is the other team ' s locker room today. But why? I argued; but to no avail. Transfer man threw his hands up in disgust and left. It was up to me to move it again. The boys began to come in. ' ou loafing man- ager, cried Joe Blair, where are my pants? Keep my money for me, ordered Gyp . Wrap iii ankles, bellowed Fones. Everybody was dressed at last. The game was fifteen minutes away. Ed Gr jru|uist discovered a cleat jff his shoe. Calamity! I borrowed an automobile, drove at neck breaking speed to find a shoe repair shop. No, 1 can ' t fix it in five minutes, said the first one I asked. I ' ll fix it in a jiffy, replied the shoe man five blocks farther in. 1 got it back before game time. 1 sighed a sigh of relief because I thought I was free for a few minutes. In came Mr. Baldwin asking for the timer ' s watch. It was left behind. Again the old Lizzie was raced back to school. I returned just in time to hear the referee ' s whistle start the game. Sixty minutes of freedom to watch the fluctua- tion of the game. With a ell of joy I f(jllowed the triumphant team to the locker rooms — then a fe broken fingers to fix — and be assistant doctor in general. Again my friend, the transfer man — all the equipment had to be gathered together and returned to school that night. Eight o ' clock and every piece of equipment was ready for the next day ' s work. — Hungry? No chance for supper at home at that late hour. The amount of cash in my pocket looked pretty small compared with my appetite — but it sufficed. An hour ' s car ride brought me home at eleven — but locked out. ' It was two o ' clock before I got in and lessons stared me in the face — grimly I sat down for two hours on them. At four I turned in only to be called for school at six-thirty. Seven-thirty found me on my way to school — and another day of easy work. The man behind the gun we know all about ; the chef in the hotel ' s kitchen, perhaps not so much ; but what about the manager of the football team? In other words, after reading Fred Meyer ' s article we, the ignorant public, begin to realize the responsibility and the work connected with the management of a football team. Frank LaRoux: Wju haven ' t five dollars to loan me, have ou ? Oris Malehorn: Mind reader! Page i6 LOC|k SfAiTH U JPlStll. There iviis an old ivmnau who lived in a shoe; M ho ivanted to kiioiv what her children could do. She noted their deeds and the opinions they voiced And o ' er the results sincerely rejoiced. PROSPECTS FOR A NEW SHOE Man} ' years after Mother Goose had lived in the old shoe, she decided to invite a group of men, interested in her children, to a luncheon. Very excitedly she rushed about, sent the older children after linen for the table, told them to gather flowers for it and to prepare the food, dashed madly here and there in a vain endeavor to hide all the worn- out places in the shoe. Mother Goose was so very nervous that she punished Nathan for mischief that Tin} ' , one of the smallest children, had done. There was a great splashing of water and soap- suds in the washroom; and finally after several hours of agony, emerged the widow and her chil- dren, with shining faces, and in their Sunday clothes. They sat very, very still, and listened to a severe lecture on manners. Finally the company came. What fine children you have, my dear Mrs. Goose! exclaimed one of the most enthusiastic of the visitors, a tall, white haired man with a pointed beard. He had visited her many times before and keenly enjoyed her hospitality. And what is your name, my little man? asked he, with a complacent smile, of a small, obviously embarrassed child. It is Charles Croft, sir, replied the boy. That ' s right, that ' s right, assuringly encouraged our genial visitor. Mrs. Goose, do your children play a game that was taught them by their older sisters, inquired one of the guests. Do you mean the one that is played by hitting keys with certain fingers to see who can strike the greatest number of ke ' s in a certain time with the least number of errors? Yes, they do. Do any of you pla ' it? asked Mother Goose. One of the men volunteered. He tried desper- ately to demonstrate his skill ; later he sat down exhausted with the effort. The children shouted with glee to think that they could play the game better than their company. Then Mother Goose announced that luncheon was ready. She led the guests to her makeshift dining-room; she gave the children some broth and sent them to bed. Several months later, Mrs. Goose called her chil- dren together and exclaimed, Do you know that Mrs. Duck told me that a neighbor told her that we were to have a new shoe? Mrs. Hen told me that they were to be made of gold trimmed in silver; and Mrs. Fowl said that we were to be placed right across from Mrs. Duck ' s shoe on the second shelf. The din was terrific; the children shouted and pranced. Mother Goose had to threaten each one with dire punishment to keep them quiet ; but in spite of this fact the babies ' spirits were so ex- uberant that she had to keep them in bed for a week. Something to Think About Many of the students at Commerce are working hard to put themselves through school, and often- times are helping to support other members of their families. Very few of these incidents are known to the mass of students. There are many girls here who float about in our midst. Each day we see them in the hall, but we hardly realize the difficulties that hinder them in their search for education. Thrown upon their own resources, often with no father or mother to help, these girls carry on their school work and earn good grades. Others put all the money they can possibly spare into the bank, denying themselves all the seemingly necessary frivolities that a girl loves, to carry on their education. Let us be generous and charitable in our judg- ment of each other. Who knows whether or not the girl across the aisle is not among these? Give honor and respect where honor and respect are due. Page 39 ULVSoUZ LEDGER STAFF Front row, readin left to rijfht Lucile Parmele, Emma Mitllestedt, Osa Laulner. Clasky Parker, Signe Libell ; second row, Marjorie FanRborn, Bertha Kane. Sarah Callan, Nellie Thompson ; third row, Vivian Charters, Mildred Huer. Dorothy Wilson ; fourth row, Thelma Hedges, Lucy Engelstadt ; fifth row, Ray Sherman, Oliver Williams, Charles Croft, Edgar Martin. Monte Davis. FOR THE GOOD OF OUR SOLE If Commerce does not secure a new shoe very soon, all the little rubbers will have to put their excess population upon the roof. There are un- limited possibilities to this plan. The sky is yet unowned by real estate agents. It can be of great inspiration to budding authors who need plenty of atmosphere for their stories. There is always the chance that such a method of housing the students will be found objectional. If necessary underground tunnels can be dug to China. These would be reached by subway trans- portation. However, I fear that the Humane Society will protest on the grounds that it is cruel to deprive the gophers and fish bait of their right- ful habitations. More stories can be added to the building. These could be let down at night to let the moon go bv. Balconies mav be constructed on all sides of the edifice. These could be reached by the tall boys or by ladder. All of my plausible schemes except one has been exhausted. Even now there may be among us an inventor in the bud who can design aeroplanes capable of carrying several classes through the air. To attend the next class, all one would have to do would be to use the stairway on the side of the plane to step to the next one. Of course freshies who are naturally light-headed would be excluded from this air carnival as they would be sure to demolish their craniums when they lit head up on old Mother Earth. It would be unfair to cheat them of their inheritance as seniors to razz the incoming infants. Only then would the first term pupils be able to shout up to their superiors with truth and real emphasis, Aw, come down to earth. Pane 40 - ££P«50% BLOTTER STAFF Front row, reading left to right— Mrs. Bradford (advisorl. Bcrnice Hubbard. Melvina Feldstein. Rovella John- sen ; second row, DeLoss Peterson. Nathan Campf, Monte Davis, George Pohl : third row, Kenneth Richards, Seigtried Rosen, Ray Sherman. OUR BLOTTER In journalism there is no final achie ' ement. One never reaches a time when he may call quits with the world. Instead, he labors on, pushing, forging ahead, while his goal moves farther and farther up. Each term we say, The Blotter couldn ' t be bet- ter! But each term we are shown that it can. We find that the staff has advanced a step farther, has made its publication a little more worthwhile. During the past five months we have received our Blotters weekly and have seen the tremendous spurt towards success it has taken. The reporters have turned in news representative of the whole school. Sports and activities have been thoroughly covered. New features have been introduced — clever advertising stunts, pleas to the students. Selections from a wide range of pupils have been given in the new Literary Issues, thus encourag- ing them to write. But, best of all, are the editori- als. They are editorials that make one think; that make one acquainted with a variety of opinions; that concern all of us and our actions ; that demand our interest and attention. The paper, hoA -ever, could never have grown to what it is without an exacting head, without a lead- er who throws himself whole-heartedly and unstint- edly into his work, giving incentive and determina- tion to all who work with him, and that The Blot- ter has in Siegfried Rosen. June Class At the first meeting of the June ' 26 class there were sixty-two members present. The whole meet- ing was taken up with the election of officers. Those elected were; President, James Gilham ; Vice- President, Edward Cheney; Secretary, Alice Mc- Kay; Treasurer, Ray Dielschneider ; Sargeant at Arms, Norman Fones ; and Editor, Kenneth Col- lins. Piif e 41 LERBER. FRESHIE FAULTS A freshman ' s worries are never over until he has entered into that realm of learning in which he is esteemed a stately studciit of education; namel -, a sopiiomore. L ' ntii that time, lie is re- garded as the infant — tiie comedy scene on the school stage. He learns slowh but sadlv the lessons that each student must know. The embarrass- ments, confusion, and blunders experienced by each one in his first year are not always accountable t(j ignorance of school customs or to overindulgent efforts to please but to the lack of interest on the part of the other students. This year some of the freshmen ha e shown remarkable talent as writers, and their stories and poems, though not eligible for Ledger prizes, have been collected and the best selected for the freshman page. In our daily experiences we sometimes see a very timid person walk leisurely into a class room, settle himself into a seat, glance absently about, and then rush like mad from the room — that ' s a freshie making a mistake in his classes. So far the only people accused of such lawless- sigh, the shiniest nose, and freckles on his chin — ness as the breaking of Commerce traffic laws, are the freshie again, trying to be nice, the innocent freshies who ha e not yet become ac- A stranger visiting the city recently asked if the customed to those rules, but the remark is once portables surrounding the building were garages more applied that ' s a freshie. for the teachers ' cars. No, kind friend, that ' s the The fellow with the broadest grin, the deepest freshman ' s fate at Commerce. WHO INDEED Helen Withrow Who stares at every move you make, Or when you drop your books? Who glares at you from o ' er their specs With such forbidding looks? Who stares at you with haughty glance, That makes you shake and shiver ; And does not give the slightest thought To how your nerves may quiver? When you go up the down stairs And down the up stairs , too, Who laughs at you behind your back, No matter what you do? I know that you can answxr And answer rightly, too, When I ask all the questions. We know, the Seniors do. Page 42 1£JPIS R . Fear Grace Riedel According to an old Russian tradition, if a man dies after sundown a neijihbor must watch over the body to prevent the de il from stealing his soul. It is considered a mark of distinction fcjr a man to be selected for this post as sentinel of the dead. One night my nearest neighbor died (luite sud- denly, and the family requested me to perform this last service in reverence of his friendship. It was past midnight and stormw 1 was be- coming drowsy, when a moan, low, deep, and very distinct startled me. I riveted m ' eyes upon the form of my dead friend for a time, but nothing occurred. I glanced about the room and as the candles flickered, objects in the half dark c(jrners of the room took on weird shapes. I heard a weird tapping on the window pane, and all at once, to my horror, there appeared at the window a huge white spectre. I tried to shout but could find no voice; I tried to raise my arms but thev hung at my sides — limp and motionless. I could feel the cold perspiration trickle down my forehead. The spectre disappeared and there came that same weird tapping again, followed by a low half-muffled moan. With extreme effort I reached the window and stood stricken dumb with fear. I strained my eyes to see through the darkness trying to locate the spectre. What I saw was a white object — a snow white cow, lowing and swishing its tail in harmony with the wind, and trying to find shelter from the storm. A Freshman ' s Prayer Mildred Spaulding I ' d like to be a Senior, And with the Seniors stand, A fountain pen behind mv ear, A notebook in my hand. I wouldn ' t be an emperor, I wouldn ' t be a king, I wouldn ' t be an angel. For angels have to sing. I wouldn ' t be a president For all the wealtli could bring, I want to be a senior. And never do a thing! EUEftnoR SOOTMWARD The Gentle Art of Reducing Berniece Hill Mrs. O ' Brien, fair, fat and dangerously near the perilous age of forty, had left no stone un- turned in a serious effort to regain her youthful figure. As to diet, golf, tennis, and the daily dozen, she had tried them all without avail. Horse- back riding seemed to offer a ray of hope. Thus it happened one bright sunny morning that a chestnut colored horse waited without her door. With two grooms accompan ing her, she advanced across the lawn — a living mountain. They seemed ill at ease, as though struggling to keep back a burst of laughter. Are you sure his legs are strong enough? she asked. Perfectly safe. Madam, came the r;plv. May I help ()u up? Touch him lightl ' with your heels, instructed the first attendant, then he will go. Mrs. O ' Brien brought her legs down with a force that might have crushed the animal ' s ribs. The poor horse instead of crumpling, as one might expect, flew across the landscape with the rapidity of an express train. What happened to Mrs. O ' Brien? Was she ever seen again? es. Doctors report she is do- ing better. P(ii e 4S ' r-= UEjpssm The Winter Wind 1 IKN FiDlll. I lie W ' itucr wind iimics prnw linj; In till- (i:irkncss of tlu- nit:lit, Round lilcalc corners it ors howlinj;, Never stoppirij; in its tlijilit. It piles tlie snow in deep drifts, And hui hs w itli fren ied lec ; It fills titc sails on iioundinf; ships, And bends the leafless trees. It ' s :i phantom, K iost, or spirit That haunts this world of ours, Its son s are so wild, ghostly, and weird That c en the hra cst cowers. It blows the dull gr ' ) ' clouds across The dim moon ' s somber face; It catches boats with an angry toss And scatters them every place. The Winter Wind is ic cold. But yet I ' d miss it so, If Winter came without the Wind ' i ' o pile the driven snow. Wind makes homes more cheerful As it moans at windows and doors, And shrills « ith blasts w ild and woeful, While the bright fire crackles and roars. Rev eries Phyllis White We needn ' t be hungry today. she said, With meat and potatoes and meal for bread. Though 1 can not stir from this quaint old chair, I look at the cupboard and know they ' re there; And Mother has left this luncl by me; How thankful I am for it all, ■ sryd she. We needn ' t be chilly today, she said, With coal for the stove and a quilt for the bed, For as long as my arms and back don ' t tire, I can reach very well to stir the fire; And IVIother ' U be home for an early tea; How thankful I am for it all, said she. There is only one thing that I really dread, And that is the pain in my back, she said; But it ' s better, a great deal better, I know Than it ■was at the first, three months ago ; And the doctor is ever so kind to me; How thankful I am for it all, said she. And by and by, when the Winter is dead, He thinks, I ' ll be almost well, she said, And I ' ll have some crutches and walk, and then — I can get the dinners for Mother again. And, Oh! How glad and happy we ' ll be! How thankful I am for it all, said she. J; fack Frost Berniece Hill Jack Frost chills the trees, With his cold snowy breeze, And scatters the leaves about. With a cloud he flies, Through the dark, frosty skies, To paint the stars without. Freshman ' s Tribute Bern ' iece Hill To the Sophomore : Little, big, small and great. Not so huge at any rate. Think they ' re smart; of course, we know. But after all you ' re not the show. To the Juniors : Smart, popular, great and tall, Alwavs roaming about the hall. Think you ' re clever ; of course, we know. But after all you ' re not the show. To the Seniors: Stately heroes, unmovable stone. Set in their ways, dignified, proud. Smart and clever; of course, we know, But after all thev make the show. Pa e 4-f - d) UJPSSt Page 45 LERBER,. FIGHT A tc:im that won ' t li heat, lan ' t lie In-at — to aitiialh wcirk mit tlii axium was the assitjnmcnt jiiven Coach Carpenter at the hct;innin(i of our foot- hall season this eaf. Last season throimh Kr: ' - tion we lost an all-star center, our captain, Harry Schneiderman — we lost an all-star end, Phil Clark — we lost an all-star tackle, Arden Pannborn. At the hetjinnind of this season mir new captain, hd Clienev, wa. walkint; around with a cane, having been in an accident at the ice plant w here he worked — John Naszel was n--w at his position in the back- field, luninu ' been sh ' fted froi:i the line — Howard Kerr, a tww man, arrived at sch ol three weeks late; and our last bickfield man, Morris Kan?, was at first denied parental consent to pla . Such was the condition in the b; ' .ckfield. So when the other teams were polishi:i[: oft their offens?. Commerce was totalh lacking in th:s hifh y iinporrant requi- site. All her time had been n?eded for simple fun- damentals. Dielschncider, Gromiuist, Napel, and Chene - were the only candidates having been bap- tised under playing; conditions the vgar before. With an end run, a criss-cross, and a very giod forward pass pla , Commerce went ' lnto her first games, and what was impossible in offensive bril- lianc. was certainly made up for by the indom- itable spirit of ne er iiuit, the e-prit de corps of the entire sip,, id. The team ' s sjilendid fij ht pulled the lUnson ijame out of the furnace in thf Itisl tiventy- I ' lvc situnils! Hundreds of admirers had left for home with Commerce on the hopeless end of a 7-0 score. They could hardly believe their eyes when they read the next morninii. Commerce 13, Ben- son 7. Ayain in the Grant and Roosevelt games, the Hig Green proved its right to win by terrific come- back wallops during crucial periods. The Lincoln- Commerce battle was a tie. Lincoln missed a field goal, and Commerce on Lincoln ' s 18- ard line mudd ed the reading of the ardage bo.x and an- other tasy chance was lost. Robinson for Jefferson beat Wa.diington and Commerce by the same score with his rosin-covered toe. Washington was smart enough to pla ' for breaks in her fight with Com- merce and got ' em in the last half of her win while the moon and two loneK stars shone brightly overhead. Thi:s our season, a successful season, in which Commerce possessed the three essentials of a foot- ball aggregation, a good coach, a fighting team, and a red hot rooter ' s club and student bodv — ;nded. Some names are uni ersally nicknamed. L nder Cheney is named Gyp after Captain Gyp of this list would come: Notre Dame, a well known football player. Morris Kane Mory Berlow is called Big Munn because of the James Gilham Jim likeness between him and Wayne Munn, a famous John Nagel Johnny wrestler. James Worrl --. -Jim g . ; j p j Speedy. He is real fast and is Harold Sammons Hal .j . , [[ running guard. Harrison was ca ' Ied Tinv for the reason that ■ n . n-i ttt n i l . . . ■ Cranston is called bilent. We all wonder wnv he was sj infernallv big. , , . u ., , ' , ,1 , T-- i_ T-- be doesn t talk more. Althouse was to be called i my too, but 1 my Tj . J , . r,„ ' .1 „., „ „..,, Gronquist is ca ' Ied Swede, but we ' re prettv sure Harrison made such a protest that that name was _ ' ■ reserved for him alone. So Althouse was recorded he s a Dane. as Truck because in athletics he sometimes bits on I err is called Rowdy. It ' s just one of his char- all six. acteristics. Delschneider is called Bub. Can you guess why? Lost: Joe Blair ' s first name — or is it nick- For the simple reason that he is such a kid. name? Page U d U£JPSS R . HI-Y Front row. reading from left to ripht — James Gilham. Oliver Williams, Ray Dielschneider, DeLoss Peterson, Ray Sherman; second row, Fred Meyers, Norman Fones, Sylvan Halperin. John Nagel, Harold Sammons, Arthur Bish ; third row. William Farrelly. John Works. Joe Pigney, Ax .1 Pearson. SLAM PROCEDURE The regular meeting of the Hi- s was called to order. President Orville Buckner informed us that we were to have one of those delightful slam meetings. Some of the wise memhers like Wilbur Hull, Norman Fones, and Axel Pearson immediate- ly gained the floor and put forth various reasons for being excused. Such absurd requests were not granted and Orville applied the gavel with de- mands for order. Ray Dielschneider was the first victim and was requested to step from the room while his tolerated qualities were being turned o er to Secretary Arthur Bish. The request was no sooner conformed with than Johnny Works broke forth: Now he shall know what I think of him. How about his past dues? exclaimed Sihan Halperin. Modest Joe Pigney therewith expostulated, He still owes me four-bits. Harold Sammons and John Nagel were less ex- plosive in their censure, for they were content to nudge one another and then give vent to reprcs. ed snickering. A broad smile was the only reaction Fred Meyers suffered. The slips of criticism were handed to the secre- tary. Sergeant-of-arms (Gyp) Cheney opened the door and Ray entered with a pleading look of askance upon his usual cheerful countenance. Bish began to look over the criticisms. As he proceeded his face turned white. A few seconds later he fell in a stupor and woefully mumbled. Several heard him audibly murmer: Why must we tolerate such people? Confusion ensued and the meeting broke up. Pac e 4-1 - ULOSoUZ AJm SOME BABY It certainly was, it certainly was, as General Henry Burbeck would say. The cast had some time makinfr Some Baby successful. Hours, days and weeks of effort were spent on it. Sh ! Now you are going to get what newspapers term inside dope. Signe Libell as Auntie had a difficult task to overcome her sweet disposition and make herself cross enough to carry out her part. Lucille Dod- son, as the hot-tempered Marcella, worked up her emotion by practicing her I keel you, I keel you! on everybody she came in contact with. How- ever, no casualties resulted. Floyd Teegarden took to his part as a duck does to water — after he made his feet accustomed to traveling on the stage. Pete Peterso n and Neva Poindexter, having taken part in other plays, did not find stageland so frightening and had an ad- vantage over the others. The way Hildred Atkinson as Lucille could eat candy was superb. Ray Sherman ' s ability to keep a straight face under most trying occasions afforded him the part of the stern old Judge. Thelma Stewart as Sylvia practiced being a ghost so much that she almost thought she was one, and in her own words, said: I had the shivers up and down my spinal column nearly all the time. ' es, Winona Shelley, the Grandma, was old- fashioned, but this younger generation wasn ' t go- ing to boss her around. She had to force her nimble feet, so capable of doing the Charleston, to behave as an old lady ' s should. The deputy sheriff had enough to bear when he had to let the h sterical Mrs. Vivvert pommel him with her fists, but don ' t think Sheriff John- son had an easy time of it. He was so distracted by those crying women, that he became as absent- minded as the Professor and told central to give him 120 babies. But what would any of the cast have done with- out the excellent and capable coaching of Miss Andrews who showed them how to transform them- selves into their stage characters. Our graduating classes couldn ' t do without her. Pai e -fS Page 40 ? I£ReER Contests are always exciting affairs. The one Kiven by the Ira F. Powers Company to secure the best advertising letter brought forth a large cedar chest, wiiich was won by V erda Jappert ; a rocking chair became the property of Anna Coffman. Miss Jappert said, I made up my mind I wanted it, and I got it. Now she ' s working liard to fill it. Anna Coffman says her mother displays her prize with its full history to every visitor in their home. POWERS ' PRIZE LETTER Vkrd.a Dear Sir: The pleasures which are usually craved are those just be ()nd or barely within reach, and in the pain- ful efforts to grasp them, the delight they impart is lost. Meanwhile the practical methods of ob- taining these luxuries are unconsciously trodden under foot in the hot pursuit. Now comfort is a pleasure every man wants in his home; this pleasure shouldn ' t be postponed until he gets rich, for all the time life is slipping away and it should not be cheated of its natural land reasonable pleasures. If you crave comfort, let Powers Furniture Store give it to you. A Birchfield davenport will astonish you by the softness and ease with which it bears your weight. The reason is that there are 272 springs in it, all Jappert padded and wrapped separately in burlap. A Birchfield overstuffed set will express the in- dividuality of a home of good taste, and many joyful hours can be spent in it in intimate gather- ings around the fireside. This pleasure has been placed within your reach by Powers ' dignified credit plan. Are you going to take advantage of it? Just pay a small amount down and then each pay day take from your check whatever you can afford and make a payment. No interest charged. You pay the same amount by credit as you do for cash. Won ' t you come in and see these luxurious Birch- field davenports and easy chairs and end that crav- ing for comfort in your home? Yours verv trulv. The fame of Commerce has spread beyond com- prehension. Ellen Lindberg, a freshman, has come from Clickedack, Washington, to work her way through Commerce. Her enthusiasm and ambi- tions have won for her a splendid school record. Phyllis White, registered in 17 has entered for her first term at the age of thirteen. Height and age make no difference to her when it comes to making excellent grades. Robert Orth, a freshman of room IS, has earned a card of E ' s regardless of the fact that he works a good many hours after school in the markets to pull him through. Elizabeth Myerson, a second termer from port- able B, has been in America only four years; yet she speaks the English language as fluently as any native born student. Though she keeps house for her famih, that does not interfere with her anxiety to learn more than she knows. Iva Walkem, registere d in 12, was born in India, and though only fourteen years old, she has traveled all over the world, and has had experiences worthy of remembering. Lena Horenstein of room 12 has received all E ' s on her report card for the term so far. Her English work, as stated by her teacher, is excep- tional. Bernice Hill, also of room 12, has been recog- nized as a future writer with equal talent for story writing as well as for poetry. Page 50 I£RGER, Yea, Team! Nathan Campf is a born yell leader; due to the fact he has aroused much pep in the school. Nathan has just finished the busiest and most successful season of his yell leading career. He has composed many new yells and a new football song. To him goes much credit for the reputation of the school spirit. He is back of it all. We have now no fear that it will ever fall. FOOTBALL PROSPECTS FOR 1926 Not so good — Not so bad. All in all we covild say prospects are right for a fair aggregation. With our mainstays back, Althouse, Sammons, Kerr and Nagel, we have a nucleus to build on, with a lot of good material from this year ' s squad. We could say the tentative line-up for next season would be; ends, Ackley, a man who showed up well this season, but was forced to quit school on account of his injured leg, and Billy Orrell at the other end, a fast man from the cross-country team. At guards Berg, a man from this year ' s team, who is predicted to be the best running guard of the league for next year. Harrison at the other guard entering his third year on the team, should be the star of the league. At center ill be Cranston, our center from this year ' s team, a fast man with lots of fight. At tackles will be Alt- house, a powerful man on both offensive and de- fensive, and Sammons, one of the best men on the line, a powerful man who can always open up a hole when called on. In the backfield will be Ayres at quarter, a man on this year ' s squad who got his experience, a man who has speed and fight. At halves will be Kerr and Edison. Kerr was hampered all season by an injured ankle. But he should be one of the fastest men in the league next year — just the man needed to run the ends. At the other half will be Edison, a new man who came down from Siherton ; lie ought to be a good running mate for Kerr. Nagel at full is a human battering ram. He can hit the line harder than any other man on the team. Besides, we ha e a good line of substitutes. Eli Greenwood may be back, a good center, who went here two years ago. Rogoway, a good man, was not eligible this year. He will fit in at guard very nicely. Leslie Page, another man from this year ' s squad has lots of fight and got the fundamentals which will be of use to him next year. Jimmie Worrel was another man like Page. He should be a good tackle next season. Rex Fones is a good end, who showed he was willing to take some hard knocks as long as he got the fundamentals. Abe Berlow is another good guard, with lots of power and fight. Coach Carpenter is planning a period of inten- sive spring training, to get the team thoroughly drilled in the fundamentals. He also plans on hav- ing about three scrimmages a week to have the team get used to all the hard knocks they get in the games. Looking over our material, we feel we have rea- son to expect a good team next year, a team that will uphold Commerce ' s football reputation. Page 51 MERGER STUDENT BODY COUNCIL Front row. readinc from left to riKht DeLoss Peterson. William Farrelly John Works; second row, Thelma Stewart, Faye Howe, Lucille Dodson. Viola Bradley, Alice Mckay. Nazarenc Hutchings. SOROSIS Come — Commerce — let us join in a little trip To see how far our imaginations can slip. Just close your eyes and rest your hands And off we ' ll go to far distant lands. Can you picture a native of Australia who Had never, never seen a Kangaroo? Or of far-off Asia who has never yet Seen a Camel — except on a cigarette? Imagine a ship at sea without a crew Or a party with no one there — but you. Then visualize a Portland traffic cop Who never blew a whistle or shouted stop. Have you ne er seen a Ford climb a hill? And have you ever seen Mr. Elton stand still? If these things you can see, and think, and do Then you are numbered among the few — Who can realize in what a ridiculous calamity W e girls of Commerce High would be Without— SOROSIS— with its A-B-C- and D Standing for Love, Hope and Charity. COMMERCE GOLF TEAM The team consisted of the following: Fred Mey- This was the first golf team of Commerce to be ers, Alec Sprawkins, Floyd Teegarden, Leo Blaufus, presented with school letters. Four of the players and Arthur Bish, The boys made a respectable will be in school again next season and together showing, winning from Lincoln, Franklin and Jef- with a couple of likely prospects, they expect to ferson and losing only to Washington and Benson. make another commendable record. Page 52 htVSStR, ORCHESTRA First row, reading from left to riRht— Ida Horwitz. Josephine Lambert, Dorothy Veatch, Lucile Parmele, Mabel Dunaway ; second row. Edward Shaw, Joe Blake, IsadoreZohn, Oris Malehorn, Isaac I. Friedman: third row. George Goss, Kenneth Richards, Burton O ' Meaiy. Robert Easley. Found in the Commerce High Music Cabinet Oh, Katharina Ida Horowitz Peter Pan Jo Lambert I ' ll Charleston Back to Charleston Dorothy Veatch Moonlight and Roses Lucile Parmele If ' ou Knew Susie Mabel Dunaway Ah Ha Edward Shaw Ain ' t We Got Fun Joe Blake Funny Oris Malehorn Alabamy Bound Isaac Friedman Gotta Getta Girl George Goss Collegiate Kenny Richards Sleep, Sleep, Sleep Burton O ' Meaiy Got No Time Robert Easly Glad Eves Cleo Seelcv Everything Is Hotsy Totsy Now ....Isadore Zohn Foot-loose Jimmy Christison Adventure Ten Commerconians at Sorosis Teas did dine; One overstuffed himself and then there were nine. Nine Commerconians for the Frolic had a date. One had too much fun, and then there were eight. Eight Commerconians saw the football eleven. One yelled too hard, and then there were seven. Seven Commerconians had bank accounts to fix. One forgot his money, and then there were six. Six Commerconians for Moroni Play seats strive ; The crowd swallowed one, and then there were five. Five Commerconians lieard a pep assembly roar; Excitement seized one, and then there were four. Four Commerconians Some Baby did see; One laughed too much, and then there were three. Three Commerconians read the Blotter through. One got so interested that then there were two. Two Commerconians thought picture day was fun; One had his taken, and then there was one. One Commerconian had his studies all done; He passed his exams, and then there were none! Paffe 53 BERBER SILVER PENCIL Front row, reading left to ripht — Amy Booth. Lucille Dodson, Osa Lautncr : second row, Evelyn Boody, Faye Howe. Hildred Atkinson. Clasky Parker: third row. Malvina Hfilstrom. Marie Houguez, Evelyn Barmettlor ; fourth row, Robert Hanson. Siegfried Rosen. Edpar Martin, George Pohl, RHAPSODY Even with membership rates at A fhit iiDthiiii;, one is surprised to C the Girls ' Glee Club swelled to such a large cresciiido. Perhaps the reason for this (icceler ind ' j is that a brUlaiitc and iillegro uper- etta will be given sometime during March. L nder the leadership of Faye Howe, vvith tlu- assistance of Lucille Dodson, the Glee Club is clos- ing one of its most successful terms. Even more, however, will be accomplished during the coming term, and it is hoped that the operetta, with the help of the ip r ii),(j choris and vivo principals, wi 1 iiave an advantageous termination. Page Si i nil-Df eo SCMATZ_ MERGER LIST OF advertisb:rs A. Luiidceii Slide Kcpairi-r Butzer Seed Store Carl Greve Charles F. Ber): Cherry ' s Chown Hanlwiirc Columhia Di Ker Company Conn Portland Company Crantford ' s, Inc. Davies Snidio Del Fount Ciroccrx Denny Kenton Cla Coal Company Dimm Sons Printin i Company Fashion Cloak Suit Company Federal Savings ' Loan Association Frederick Post Company French Bakery Gelvin ' s Goodie Shop Gill, J. K. Grenfell ' s Grocery ' Market Hazehvood, The Hihernia Bank Hicks-Chatten En};ra in}: Company Honeyman Hardware Company H land Book Store Indian Motorcycle Company Ireland ' s Sandwich Shop J. C. Elliott Typewriter Service J. C. Kahn Knickerbocker Restaurant Lambert ix Son Lanjj ' s Marcel Shop Lipman Wolfe Company Lowey Company Lubliner, Florist Malone Candy Company Matot Construction Compan ' Maus DruK Store Meier Frank Company Montgomery Delicatessen Cafeteria Morf an Bldjr. Barber Beauty Sliop Moroni ( )l en Players Multnomah I jotel M ers, the Jeweler Northwestern National Bank Nortliwest Stove Works Nott ' s Sweet Shop Olds, Wortman : Kinj; Oret on Agricultural College Oregon Sanitary Market Oregon T pewriter Company Pacific School of Beauty Culture Palm Grocery Paul Singh Rebuilt Txpewriter Company Roberts Bros. Rollers Candy Company Royal Sales Company, Inc. Roy Molin, Jewelers Schmale Book Store Seiberling-Lucas Music Company Shell Oil Company of California Shope Brick Company Standard Brick Tile Company Star, H. D. Superior Delicatessen United States National Bank L ' ni ersity of Oregon Van Gorder ' s Delicatessen Washington Furniture Exchange Wholesale Typewriter Company Willamette Printing Company Page 56 :-= UL[ Ul Suuymanwo sd Co, c Merchandise of c Merit Only 2 Pants Suits $ 35 .00 If you ha en ' t seen these suits you have a surprise in store for you. Double and single breasted models in English and conserva- ti e styles. In all the newest colors. Prussian Blue - Navy W ood Brown - Brackens Two pants suits of this quality are rarely found at such a low price — $35. Lipman, Wolfe Go. Page 57 I ERBER ■ ■•■••■■••■••■•■••■••••••■• •••••••■••-■•■••••• ' ••••■•• ••■•■■•■••■■•■■•■••■•• •••■■•■•• •• • • • • • ••••■■• • ' -•■-•■••■-••••■••-••••• ••••■•••••—•■ A Brick for Every Purpose SnoPH Brick Company 47(1 i:;isi KiMluh Stri-el C. H. S. STUDENTS Eat at GELVIN ' S Qoodic iop MXriI AM) llAl.l. Main 3006 SCHDOI. HOOKS iiml sri ' l ' l.IHS Mythical Gods and Goddesses of Commerce M;ih-Mi . V;i,l,-. Saturn — Tlic office clutk. Jove — Karl Henry. Neptune — Levoff. Apollo — Cheney. ( )rpheus — Halperin. . I ercu ry — I ones. Minerva — Virginia Stewart. .•C .-«..c-. . ' i • ■•■•••••.• ■■•■• L GET d lcquainted ' To gel atqiiainleil with RoY S: Molin ' s .lEwtRV AND Optical Shop i to become THRIFTY in regards to your diamond, jewtiry and optical wants. Alsv Fine H ' atcli and Je ' u:elry Repairing 1 OY MOLIN 240 Alder Neah 2nd Mutual Latin is a dead, dead language, As dead as it can be ; It killed off all the Romans, And now it ' s killing me. Signed by : Hildred Atkinson, Sarah Callan, James Reeves, Osa Lautner. ■■•..•..•..6-.0 .•••••.•■.•■.•..•-. 9 ' «.-C-.«..  ..•.. CHOWN HARDWARE CO. Exclusive At ents for Goldsniit i Athletic Goods Spurting Goods Tools - Cutlery 147 FOURTH STREET l cf.veen .Mfier and Mcirrison  .. ..•..«..•-.•.. ; the basement ' neath t lie stairs. Take your pick of sixteen chairs. Marcel, hob, manicure and hair we dress, Still ice do our uork for less. : IANICURE, SHAMPOO, ]MARCEL, BOBBING, 50. EACH; WAX MARCEL, 6.5c Morgan Building Barber Shop and Beauty Parlor : IATX .3.500 Paar 5S • ££rbe:r . WHAT ' S IN A NAME? THIS NAME SPEAKS EOR ITSELF! FASHION CLOAK AND SUIT CO. 3 ' .I4 WASHINGTON STREET Did my wife speak at the meeting yesterda ? I don ' t know your wife, but there was a tall, thin woman who rose and said she could not find words to express her feelings. That wasn ' t m ' wife! Miss Bernstein (to Civics class): We ha e an unusual poor recitation toda -. I ' ve done two- thirds of it mvself. The GRATER FURNACE AM) Ground Fuel Burner Manufactured and Sold by XORTHWKST STOVK WORKS. Inc. Glad.stone Ave. at East Twenty-Fourth St. Sellwood 4917 THE A. W. SCHMALE BOOK SHOP BOOKS, STATIONERY AND OFFICE SUPPLIES, ' WATERMAN FOUNTAIN PENS, EVERSHARP PENCILS 290 MORRISON STREET „, k, • q,,, d ,i , r 380 MORRISON STREET ' ' = ' ' Portland, Oregon PEPPY, HOT LUNCHP:S Served at Sliperior Delicatessen .390 SIXTH STREET Plausible A. Merrill: How big a fish is a dolphin? E. Vana: About eight or ten feet long. A. Merrill: And what is another name for dolphin ? E. Vana: Fish. Art IJish : Golf is like the hoof and mouth disease. Evelyn Boody: Why so? A. B.: Hoof it all day; talk it all night. Particular printiiuj on parlicitlar paper For particular people hy particular printers At reasonable prices particularly on tune. STATIONERY : ENGRAVING : PRINTING WILLAMETTE PRINTING and STATIONERY CO. ON SIXTH BETWEEN SALMON AND MAIN STREETS tl ' hcrc ( (jiiiniercc Buys lis ' l ' yf uii I ' ificr Page 59 LERBER. Pass the saiail, Pass the cake, Pass me anythiiiK Van Ciorders make. Good Things to Eat VAN GORDER ' S Delikatessen Stores 1 — Washin liiii SlrccI, lit-t. 13th and 14lh 2 — Union A ' enue, bet. Russell and lira ee 3 — North 21sl. lict. Flanders and (.ilisan •1 — Sandv Houlcvard at 46th. yOUR SAVINGS Cflni More AT Federal Savings Loan Association ( C iiiitiiuR ' d from I ' a i ' 24) scratch or hurt the liands or mar the finish; it v ould have to hi- inadc from fresh fruit, average at least ei)ihtceii iniles to the i;alloii, and he light on oil and tires, and have a hi(ih resale value, get distance dearly and have an appliance for the elimi- nation of static antl talking in theatres and assem- hlies; it should he used after every meal, and he good for Miung ,ind old. 1 was getting tired again, hut 1 strove to keep off exhaustion until 1 had completed my scheme. 1 tried to go on, hut just then an outside influence ended m thoughts. Tuelfth Street, harked the con. and 1 dropped nix plan like a hut coal and stumbled out of the car. 1 never attempted after that to reproduce the thoughts that I had had. I knew that it would take ears of constant e.xperimentation and thou- sands of dollars to perfect the Thing, and this a person in in straitened circumstances could not stand. I ' ORTLAND. OREGON 5 ' ' on S; ivmgs 6 ' ' on Time Deposits Ever knock is a boost. Hear the (jld heaps boosting themselves up the hill. ..•..•..•..«..«..«..«..! ..•..•..•.. ..•.. ..«..«..«.. ..«..! BUESCHER BAND INSTRUMENTS Choice of Portland ' s Leading Orchestras Dwig ' ht Johnson s Strollers, Bill Darby, Chuck Whitehead. Willoughby ' s, Stouden- nieyer, Herman Renin, Hobb ' s Orchestra, Webber ' s Collegrians, Fenton ' s Orchestra, Be- zan.son ' s. Carpenter ' s, McElroy ' s, Baker Theater, Stimson ' s, Francis Rose, as well as 90 per cent of the famous recording orchestras on Brunswick and Victor. SHEET MUSIC WEYMAN— BANJOS— VEGA LUDWIG— DRUMS— LEEDY HOHNER HARMONICAS Everything Musical . -—- ■ SEIBERLING ' LUCAS MUSIC CO. PORTLAND ' S GREAT MUSIC STORE FOURTH NEAR MORRISON ■ . «  ..«.. . •••••••• •••••( ' ••••••••••••••— •••••« ..• • •..•••••••••i ..«-— .«.. .. ..«.. .. .. .. - -- - «   « i Page 60 tERSER Service With a Smile Do you serve any cheese with apple sauce? Yes, sir, we serve anyone here. Remarkable Dorothy Sinbad : Say, do you know We always had a wonderful ear for music? Isaac Freedman : Is that so? D. S. : es, why, at the a e of two I used to pla on the linoleum. Watch Your Step Earl Hoist: Is this my train? Herman Helm: No, it belongs to the railroad. E. H.: I mean is this train for me to take? H. H.: If vou do, vou ' ll be arrested for steal- ing. Of Course Mrs. Fuller: 1 want a ticket for Florence. Ticket Agent (after ten minutes of weary thumb- ing over railroad guides) : Where the devil is Florence? Mrs. Fuller: Settin ' over there on the bench. I Our Business Is Picking Up t ! PURE SAND. GRAVEL I Columbia Digger Co. 1 FRONT STREET SANDWICH SHOPS SCO WASHINGTON ST. 125 SIXTH ST. Utir Business is Increasing — There ' s a Reason CONN BAND INSTRUMENTS The Musical World ' s Choice Among the celebrities using CONN Instruments are: SOUSA, INNIS, GOLD- MAN and ROSEBROOK. If you are thinking of learning to play an instrument, come in and see our enormous selec- tion. Our record as to pleasing the public is one that is envied by all. Hence this reminder. CONN PORTLAND COMPANY Eleventh and Alder — Phone Broadway 5424 Direct Branch of THE C. G. CONN COMPANY, LIMITED Cultivate Your Musical Bump Paqe 61 upsni ( C ' onliiuucI from Fa i ' 21) The fisliiriii Kiouiuis far off the western coast yielded plentifull that year. Ktuite waded knee- deep ainonj; the mackerel, herring, and tiny sar- dines mixing his sweat with the slime of the fish. From the first faint rays of dawn to dark nij lit, he roiled at sorting, clearing; the decks hut to see them a ain overflowinij; the hulwarks, while the gorged nets creaked as the dorymen hauled on the leashes. With the coming of Septemher the last fish had been packed until the hatches hulged in attempt to seal the holds. The ' i en weighed anchor and pointed her bow southward, sailing close to the sea. For two days she ploughed on, but on the third the sea grew angry and the wind raved fearfully and tore the sails to shreds. The heaving sea threw itself upon the dwarfed Vixen, intent upon her destruction. All that day the storm raged and the wind howled and the rain beat, unmercifully. Dur- ing the night fitful flashes revealed mountains that would fall o er each other and drown that per- sistent spark of life that even now glowed dimmer. Awful chasms of swirling waters appeared before the bowsprit like the dreaded maelstrom of the North, and the Vixen plunged in, heedlessly. 1 he ship ' s master stood at the wheel, cl ear-eyed, commanding, and unmoved, and like him, Knute, struggling against the tearing wind on the top-sail yard-arm, could not show fear. He could not be afraid. As a child trusts implicitly the wisdom of his mother, so these people trusted the sea, their foster mother. With a splitting crash heard above the tumulous roar of the elements, the topsail fell, carrying with it the torn yard-arm. Knute ' s hands, paralyzed with strain and cold, slowh ' relaxed their desperate hold. The debris, now emburdened, rose on the crest of a mighty wave and was swept about like a toy until it was shattered to a thousand sli ers and bits of rags. Like a wounded gull, the Vixen crept to a small sea-washed town in the islands that lie north of Britain and there healed her torn self. Then she took heart and again put to sea; but her master ' s heart was still hopelessly torn. Little Borghild, sitting on an abandoned dory on the rocky coast, again dreamed of a ship cleav- ing the restless sea and she grew vaguely uneasy as tile hungry tide swept in. l- ' ar out on the horizon a tiny ship with a new white topsail slowly took shape and she ran joyfully back to the village with the glad news. The entire village clustered expectantly on the tiny wharf awaiting her anchoring, for almost every soul ashore had a kinsman or fellow fisherman on the slnp that was long overdue — a fact that carrleH an ominously significant meaning. As Knute ' s father stepped from the dory his wife silently kissed him. She looked wonderingly around and asked: And where is Knute? The seaman straightened his tall form and gazed far, far away and watched a torn topsail fall from a storm-tossed phantom ship. His wife turned and bowed her head. Little Borg- hild so pretty in her blue, calico dress and starched bonnet, from which her flaxen hair crept, tried earnestly to conceal the eagerness in her eyes as she timidly stepped forward to greet Knute ' s father. She looked int(j his stolid face and a lonely tear trickled down her cheek for then, — she too knew. How He Did It I jumped up! — in bed. I dashed into the living-room — for pencil and paper. I rushed back — to my room. I scribbled and scribbled. I bit my pencil and gazed thoughtfully at my paper. The stars twinkled ; the moon smiled ; the wind laughed. It was my English Comp. Edith Johnson : That train smokes a lot. Charles Cross: And choos too. Bewildering Mrs. Teegarden: Floyd, run over and find out how old Mrs. Brown is today. Floyd (upon returning) : Mrs. Brown says it ' s none of vour business how old she is. Once Is Enough Howard W. (in civics) : Do they hang people very often in the United States? Miss Bernstein: Onlv once. Ptiffe 62 t,ECBBER Lots of Neiv Sweat shirts $2 . . . everybody ' s wearing them. We went to Eugene a couple of days ago and all we saw was sweat shirts! They were painted, lots of them, like the slickers. INITIALLED ree Have your school letter put on the back - or front. . . Let us do it for you, there is no charge. Come to the Sport Shop on the Sixth Floor and we ' ll fix you up. Meier Frank ' s: Sixth Floor K The Quality Store | = xa OF Portland. Oregon I FirTH Si ' Tm MORPpSON, alder STS Page 6i - ULVSSUl W. S. MYERS Pii s for .111 Occasiotn filll SWIO ' I ' I.A.NI) l;I,I)(l.  .. . Merely a Matter of Phonetics Got an mail tor Milce Howe? N(i, WT lia en ' t am mail tor xour cow. A Mere Trifle Francis Hurcli (sta e manager) : All ri ht, run up the curtain. Wilbur Hull (stat;e hand): Sa . watcha think I am — a squirrel ? All Aboard! A traffic cop met 1 in Harrison, who had started for the (). A. C. homecominj;, perched pre- cariousK on a si(;n post which read, I his will take ou to Corvallis. What are you up there for? asked the cop. Tiru : I ' ve been sitting here for two hours, said Tiny mournfully, an l I ' m wondering what time it starts. H 1 Y LA NO ' S i HOOK .SIORK Ilitjh School Books Bouyht. Sold and Exchanged 204 FOl R ' lH STREET Ketween Tavlor and Salmon . •••• •-••■• • The Knickerbocker Restaurant Imperial Hotel Building Corner Stark and Broadway Quality Service Popular Prices have made the Knickerbocker Portland ' s Best Restaurant .•••••••••••■••■•••■••.••« ■.• «..«— • •  « ..i What More Could We Ask Dear Miss Davis, wrote Mrs. Hanson, 1 am afraid Robert is not trying enough. Dear Madam, replied the harassed teacher, I assure you that Robert is quite trying enough. He is the most trying boy in the class. Really Louisa Block: I think a street car just passed. Verna Carson: Why? L. B.: I can see its tracks. In Memory of Benson Gage, 1975 When you and I were young, Maggi e — When knighthood was in flower. Hardly a man is now alive Who remembers that famous hour. «• •— • • • •-•-• • •••I  •..«..•..•..••.•..•.••■.•.••.« Doroth ' Crow: What do they call potatoes in Sweden? Lucile Davis: They don ' t call them; they dig them. 0LDsA biirM: N ' 6-KiNG QUALITY MERCHANDISE BETTER VALUES SUPERIOR SERVICE Olds, Wortman King •■ •.•. .«.■«■■ —«••♦ . ■♦•■«•■««■♦■ .i I— •—• • ••■•■■• •« Pat f 64 BERBER. Ready Tailored Clothes far Men, Women and Children [Made to Measure Suits) Our Credit Terms Are Liberal You Pay No Interest Here QHERRY ' S GOOD CLOTHES for MEN, WOMEN BOYS 349 MORRISON STREET Sijconti Fi or P,ii e 65 L ERSER For you— BOOKS STATIONERY OFFICE SUPPLIES ENGINEERS ' SUPPLIES GIFT WARES LEATHER GOODS KODAKS FOUNTAIN PENS NOVELTIES THE J. K. GILL CO. BOOKSELLERS and SI.ITIOSERS Fifth and Stark Sts. (Coiuimuil fruni I ' a c 16) Pdor i:i)()scv jroosfv gander who in the chambers wandered liecamc ill so Alcda Kinkade and Lillie Hood took his place. Aleda met the old man who would not say his prayers, so Lillie took him by the left lej; and threw him down the stairs. Wee Willie Winkie ran through the room. Robert Ray, he called breathlessly. Look at the time. These folks will have to be Kitting home. So a«ay went the two pecking in at dances, stopping all the shows. Are the children in their homes? .Now it ' s nine o ' clock. Cooing to It Glenvilie Starr came running in to her mother. Oh mother, I saw the funniest thing down the street — a fat man was sitting flat down on the sidewalk with his hat off and talking to a piece of banana skin! Coach Strahl: Where did you get that lame leg — Charley Horse? Nagel: No sir, Charleston Horse. EDUCATION — A BASIS FOR SUCCESS -THE UNIVERSITY OF OREGON offers a thor- ough training, based on high scholarship and liberal culture. Work is offered in the following professional schools : Architecture and Allied Arts Medicine Business Administration Music Education Physical Education Journalism Sociology- Law Social Work Other fields are open to the student through the College of Literature, Science and the Arts. The UNIVERSITY of OREGON Jfrite to Registrar. University of Oregon, Eugene, for catalogue and information about the University Page 66 ULQStll A Good Explanation Lucile Belnap: Look here, Vivian, what are you going to give me for my hirthday? V. Charters: Close your eyes, honey. Now, what do you see? L. B.: Nothing. V. C. : Well, that ' s what you ' re going to get. Well Timed In the grandstand Commerce stood hreathless on its toes. On the field the team battled grimly toward the goal. Silence. A thrilling touchdown! And the vendor cried, Hot Dog! Surprising Ed Gronquist was trying to sell his ancient mare as a spirited animal. He led her from the stable and was starting to put her through her paces when suddenly she lay down, rolled over and died. Ed was somewhat taken back. Well, well, never seen ' er do that before. Chevv ' n ' Gum-m- m-m-ni-m fo - use ifi Room 8 School Sup lii ' s For All Rooms MAUS Drug Store ' ' IVomen Upset Everything  Pygmalion SEE Friend Hannah LINCOLN HIGH SCHOOL AUDITORIUM FEBRUARY 26, 1926 Moroni Olsen Players Students 75c Reserved Seats$ 1.75 I. ••.•••.••••..•••••••• General Admission 1.50 ...•..•..•..■..•..•..•..••••••••••• ••••••••• •••• •••••••••••••••••••• •••••• ••••••••••■■••••••••••••••••••• •■••hI Page 67 LERStR Inikcry (!iniiiiic I ' niiih lin i l diid Rnlls s UlLDh:RS -of HOMES ? J. MAVI.IE, Prop. I Phdiic Main 5913 4117 Sixth Si. ? MATOT CONSTRUCTION CO. . I()R{;. N BriI.DINC, TYPEWRITERS Rt-built ' l ' pcwriters. All Kiiuls For Sale. Rent, Kxchange •? He ' s so dumb he thinks that tlic Mexican border t has to pay rent. t Sure Thing Viola Bradle : Pa, how far can a dog run (■ lire ExilitiiVf Dislnlmturs nl (jornini i PiirUihl, i i ' lt t ' oods? . Ir. Bradley: What a foolish question. As Supplies and Repairs — All Makes j j. . j, . j, „f course. Viola: No, he can ' t. He can onl run as far ? as the middle. After that he ' s runninji out of the Oregon Typewriter Co. 94 FlFl ' H Sr. BRt). l) V. V 71 (.9 i ••• woods ■••••■■••■••■•..I a school riiui you icish to possess Go to Kdhii. In- IS the best: He ' ll make that yuuj for you Leavint your purse in good condi- tion too. SEE Vahn • (or CLASS 201 Aliskv RI.U oi.r PINS 3rd and JMorrison (upstairs ' ! ••••.••••■.•••• I i )ualit ' and Service IN BURNED CLAY PRODUCTS ManufatturrJ by Denny Renton Clay and Coal Co. 454 EVERETT ST. PHONE BR. 2417 Pa, IF 6S UJPSSUl ARTIST SUPPLIES Prompt Service The Frederick Post Go. 91 FIFTH S ' FREET In the LuinherTiien Building FREE Marcels — Jf ' ater IFave PACIFIC SCHOOL of BEAUTY CULTURE 225 M(.)R(_;AN BflLDlNG Accommodating He: If 1 kissed yuu, would you call Nour mother? She: Not unless you wanted to kiss the whole family. Quite Plausible Mr. Murph -: Does m ' question embarrass you ? S l Halperin: Not at all; it is quite clear. It is the answer that bothers me. The MULTNOMAH HOTEL fr iere Portland Entertai is The Multnomah offers every facility for the perfect entertainment of your Portland friends or your out-of- town guests. I Luncheon Dinner Supper DANCING Every Evt ' iiin i- Excejit Sundays 6:30 to 8:30 9:00 to 12:00 GROCERY On Sixth Street Oppcisite Commerce High GROCERIES FRUITS PND VEGETABLES SANDWICHES .- Cocii Clean Plan- to Knjny Your I.utuli !..«.. ..„o .o..c WE WILL PLEASE YOU PLANTS CUT FLOWERS FLORAL ARRANGEMENTS YAMHILL at TENTH Main 4737 I ' lii r 6 ' tERSER I Honeyman Hardware Go. I ' ark at (iliHan Street Free PurkiHK tJrounda for CuHtomers PORTLANDS LAK{;EST HARDWARE AND SPORTING GOODS STORE Dist rilmtiirM Wright Ditson — Victor Co. I. in,- iif Basketball, Baseball, Golf, Tennis and Athletic Supplies FINE SCISSORS AND SHEARS CAMP EQUIPMENT HIGH ;RADE fishing TACKLE A Few Points Off John NiikIc: H(ju far auay arc yuii from the correct answer? Kciiricth AlrliDuse: Three seats. Honesty Plus Miss lielat : Lawrence, how many times have you whispered today? Lawrence: Onct. Miss Behit : Johnnie, what should lie have said ? Johnnie (eagerly) : Iw ict. Never Say Die Ray Sherman, grieving because of his not re- ceiving the cedar chest for the prize letter in Business English, wrote the following: I am old, so old 1 can write a letter; Day by day, in every way I ' m getting better. The life and soul of Science is its practial application. — Lord Kelvin. THE competent man or woman in modern professional life not only understands the scientific principles upon which his chosen vocation is based, but also knows how to apply those principles in human service. True education combines theory and practice, and its goal is service. Ore- gon ' s Land-Grant College is dedicated to ' ' Science for Service ' ' The Experiment Station and the Extension Service specialize in the application of science in every-day life. Training of youths for leadership in fields vital to Oregon industry, business, home and community life is provided by resident instruction in the following technical schools, all offering work leading to the bachelor ' s degree and most of them granting the master ' s or professional degrees: AGRICULTURE HOME ECONOMICS CHEMICAL ENGINEERING MILITARY SCIENCE COMMERCE MINES ENGINEERING PHARMACY FORESTRY VOCATIONAL EDUCATION The SCHOOL OF BASIC ARTS AND SCIENCES gives the foundation training upon which technical specialization is built and in addition, together with the departments of Industrial Journalism, the Library, Physical Education, and the Conservatory of Music, provides the general and liberal training essential to personal culture and civic efficiency. For catalogue and Information H ' rite to THE REGISTRAR Oregon Agricultural College Page 70 lJ£PSStR Upsetting James Gilham: I don ' t believe that fellow is square about his mountain climbing feats. Ray Dielschneider : Maybe not; mountain climbing is not a thing likely to be on the level. What ' s the Difference Joe Blair rooms : Landlady Joe Blair Landlady What do you charge for your Five dollars up. But I ' m a student — Then it ' s five dollars down. Clara sheep? Ott: No Fooling What ' s that funnv stuff on the Herder: Wool, ma ' am. C. O.: Huh, I ' ll bet it ' s half cotton. Dear Me Husband { loaded with baggage at railway sta- tion) : I wish we ' d brought the piano, dear. Wife: Don ' t try to be funny, George! Hubby: But I left the tickets on the piano! Headquarters f or SLICKERS and SWEAT SHIRTS Slickers upwards from $5.00, sweat shirts from $1.75 — and for a small extra charge. Original oil cartoons by Jack Browne, well-known High School comic artist. w Vo ' s U . OU.T ' VvosVe rt ) 309 Morrison St. Portland. Oregon After High School— What: Will you go to college when your high school days are over? Will you thus prepare yourself for a prosperous career? A United States National Sav- ings Account provides a way to insure your college education. Jna P Combining rhe Ladd 8 Tillon Bank Page 71 RESOURCES Over 60 Million Dollars One of the N orl Invest ' s Great Banks ' - upsm DAVIES ' STUDIO y a unary 26 Class P iotO(yrapljer Special Discount to Stude?7ts . 107 Hroadvvay, Portland, Oregon Piige 72 -=:: L£ReCR. o URN OUT FOR A RY OUT-- AT NOTTS SWEET SHOP GOOD, CLP]AX EATS BROADWAY and HARRISON 1. Don ' t Tell Anybody Leslie M.: Shhhh, it ' s all over the whole school. Wilhur H.: What? L. M.: The roof. Those Haitches Spell Harrison, they told the Cockney lad. Haitch, hay, har, har, heye, hess, hoh, hen spel ' Arrison, he said. ■=) -6R0wrl ADV HOT I ' EAXUTS, FRESH POPCORX Oodles of Butter — All Kinds of Bars Look for the Yellow- Il ' ation PAUL SINGH ..«..«.. .. ..e..c..o-- -.0   ' -  -. . .• •.-•-. .. ..«.. .. . . .. .. „ , Student Special Limited Time Only -s Late JModel Underwoods, Re ming-tons, Royals and L. C. Smith at $10.00 below Regular List Price Sale Terms: $5.00 down, .$5.00 monthly if desired. No interest on deferred payments Late ilodels Rented One month $3,00 — Three mouths $7.50 C ' lmpVunents of Standard Brick Tile Go. 323 WORCESTER BUILDING FORTL.AND, OREGON Burned Clay Products Building Materials Wholesale Typewriter Co. Incorfiorateil 113 SIXTH STREET BRO.A,DW. Y 74S1 Page 7j uejpssui ••••••••• •••• •••••■•••••■•••••■••••■••••••■• • I There are certain fundamental beliefs on which we have built our business: GOOD TYPOGRAPHY GOOD WORKMANSHIP GOOD SERVICE These are the dominant essentials that have caused us to double our business four times since our advent in Portland six and a half years ago iiiiiiSrlii i sisScti i siiilsiiiiliiiiili Dimm Sons Print ing Company HENRY BUILDING Portland - Oregon Broadway 4878 !•■ ■■ ■ ■•ll  « '  . .. .. .. ..«.■ ■■ ■■ ■■«■■ ■■ ■■■■■ ■■ ■. .. . . .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..«.. .. .. .. .. .l l.«.l lll . ♦..♦..«.. ..«.. -t Pa e 14- -=d) LERBER . ATWATER 0753 I 32S Morrison St. Portland Hotel The fuUowing are samples of some of the re- ports of deaths sent to an editor of a vital statistics bureau : Died suddenly; nothing serious. Went to bed feeling well, but woke up dead. The cause of death was, his mother died in in- fancy. Patient should not have died as he fully recovered from his sickness. Don ' t know cause of death. He died without the aid of a physician. FtH E KI N D | |_THAT GROW J ' ou Can ' t Keep Them in the Ground ' Send for Catalog J. J. BUTZER FRONT AND T.WLOR STS. PORTLAND, OREGON Gain a Higher Education! i- Open a savings account, add to it regularly, and make it the means of putting you through college. The Northwestern National Bank Morrison Street, Sixth at Broadway PORTLAND OREGON ■■■•■■••■ ■■•■■•■■•■■•■■ ■■ ■■ ■■ • •  ••■• — •■••■■ ■■• • • ••• ' Page 75 i erge:r. I Say R Oilers! my dear i wlh ' ii lir iisl s wliMt I ' Miidv you want T or wluTr to luiii-li. I ROGERS • CARL GREVE ! The Sr iiiirt ' Deal J r-ui ' i ' r t • ' JMB DIAMONDS. WATCIIKS | ■r JI JEWELRY SERVICE ] 351 MORRISON STREET j i H Near Broadwav • ■•.••••• 0 « '  9 ' -« -O «  ' - • TYPEWRITERS All Makes Rebuilt SPECIAL PRICES AND TERMS TO STUDENTS Why Rent? Royal Sales Co., Inc. In a Time of Need Ihe owner jf a dry (;oods stori- lii-ard a new clerk say to a customer: No, Madam, we lia e Milt had ,in for a loiiK time. W ith a tierce tilance at the clerk, the smart em- plover rushed up to the woman and said: We ha e pleiit (jf everything upstairs. Ma ' am; pleiit;. upstairs. ' I ' he customer and the clerk looked dazed. The proprietor seeing that something was wronj;, said to the customer: h cuse me, v li;it did vou ask tor? riie woman siinplv replied: W ' hv, I said to vour clerk that we hadn ' t had .-uiv rain latelv. The Kind You Screw in the Wall Miss Warren {in shorthand): That character In wroiiL ' ; it shou ' .d have been made with a hook. Ihelma 1 homas: No wonder! I was using a pen. r BRO. UWAV 0530 OAK ST. (near Fourth) Marv had a little lamb, i ou ' v e heard this one before, IJut did you know she passed her plate .And had a little more? t I ( t I t t t I ( t t t I t t t t I I The Store That Undersells- Becaiise It Sells for Cash sttt)ents can profit i;y .making this helpfltl store their store ROBERTS BROS. THE IDEALS OF BCSIXES.S PRIXCIPLES AS TAl GHT AT COJtMERCE HIGH ARE IN PRACTICAL, OPER. TIOX HERE I Page 76 -= t RSER Little bursts of laughter, Little words of fun Take you to the office Ere the din is done. Getting Better and Better Politician: ' ou said in your last issue that I wasn ' t fit to sleep with hogs. I want you to re- tract it. Editor (to assistant) : Put in our next issue that Mr. Smith is fit to sleep with hogs. Our Language A Frenchman who is staying in this country to learn our language went up to a workman in a seaport town who was at work on a piece of wood. What are you making? he asked. A yard, said the man. How much more have you to make? A yard, was the reply. Where did vou get our woo d fr The ard, was the answer again. The Frenchman is thinking of returning to France. j Khi t£i to express w our appreciation to t )o t tufjo, Uitjile un= aijletoabbertis efjelpeb to maiu tljis; tjook possiible lip casfj bona= tiong. i 1 doctor worn-out soles, i sure ciiii heel your slioes i A torn p ' ace I can mend. i Ilith skill, and ivork that recommends. f t MR. A. LUNDEEN 1 Under Hesse Cafe i 133V2 FOtTRTH STREET, DOWN STAIRS i • i Ever get tired of packing a paper bag to school? Get a nice warm lunch at the Montgomery Delicatessen VXD ( aff:ti:ki 382 Third St. Near Montgomery •■••■••■•■••■■•■■•■••■• ■••■••••• •■■••••••••■• ' •■••••••••■•■•••■•••1 Young Folks Particularly Like the hiazelivood because its menus offer Both Restaurant and t Fountain Service 1. No matter what time of day or evening ' ou drop in you are sure to find classmates enjoy- ing our fare. Everv Miss knows that Hazelwoiid candies are unsurpassed anywhere for quality and goodness. The Three Ylazelwoods ?)SS Vv ' asliin,;;tiin Slrt-et 1 J 7 Mniadway Ea.st Broadway at Wlieeler Ptiyc I£RGER . i. Oregon Sanitary Market i Dealers In J J f t FHi:sil. SALT Ii: rs and POl ' LTRY He .-llsij ( ' iirry n dumplrlf line « Gruteriei CHAS. F. LANGE, Prop. idl FailiriK St. Phone Ciarfield T ' llO Indian Motorcycles and Bicycles Tricycles and Scooters WE CARRY A VERY COMPLETE LINE OF BICYCLE ACCESSORIES Indian Motorcycle and Bicycle Co. MAIN 6139 209 THIRD STREET ..  •..♦ • ■ «■•••.•-. .•••■•• •■.••.♦•. «. JVe Make II nor for You at DELFOUNT GROCERY Ai I ' ifth and Harrison Streets .1. w. iii:ir;r;s. Prop. — • • • -• •—• •• -•• ••♦- .••..•• .H •..■..•..«. . Sporting Proposition .Miss Harrington: 1 take great pleasure in giving you 80 in history. Robert Ray: Aw, shucks, make it a hundred and enjoy yourself more. Optimism Elmer ' s Uncle: But. how is it that you want to live in New ' ork? ' Elmer Lincoln: I would at least get my stories back quicker. Sad But True What could be more sad than a man without | a country? feelingly asked Nazarene Hutchings. A country without a man, responded Margaret Gile even more feelingly. Quite matchless are her dark-brown iiii, She talks with perfect eeee, And when I tell her she is T ' y. She savs I am a tttt. SHELL w,n. Gasoline SHELL COMPANY of California i« iiBii  .i . ■ ..«.■ .■«. .a n a % ' % 9 ' 9 ' • • % ' ■%■•• ' ••• t • ' • •■■ .■ ■ ■• E.stablished 1SS4 Phone East 0640 A. W. L.AMBERT Son INSURANCE SERVICE — REALTORS 404 East Alder Street. Near Gi ' and Avenue Forgiving? Solicitor: For the last time, I ask you for that $12.50. Deadbeat: Thank goodness, that ' s over with. Wrong Impression Mr. Haroun (in assembly) : Order there, order. Voice from the back (probably Orville B.) : I ' ll take coffee and a piece of pie. Page 7S t,ERSE:R. .•• •■-•■••■-••••■■•■•••■••■I Lang ' s Marcel Shop Call Beacon 6623 For J ppointment Hair Bobbins — Marcelling Hair Dyeing and Tinting — Slianipooing 174 Tenth Street — Near Yamhill MEVtr? COV.)L.C) HAVt-DOUtHTlT f HAC NT STARTED :VHftTSAV4NG account! HIBERNUl ' BANK ISAVINCSl liiAWASHINGTON It Surely Is Policeman: Hey, can ' t you read? That sign says, ' Fine for parking ' . Alvin Merrill: Well, I think so, too. GUARANTEED Rebuilt Typewriters and Adding Machines George Pohl : I am out here to get local color for a pastoral poem. Former: I reckon you ' re getting ' it, mister. I painted that settee only this morning. J. G. ELLIOTT 5 3 Fourth Street, Room 149 Broatlway !I24II Portland, Oregon GRENFELL ' S GROCERY SKIDMORE and UNION AVENUE ••■••■••••— Impossible Nellie Bitte: I was outspoken in my senti- ments at the Rooters ' meeting this afternoon. Helen Bauer (with a look of astonishment): I can ' t believe it, my dear. Who outspoke you? Melvina F. : Well, I ' ve decided to go on the stage. Earl H.: Where are you going? M. P.: To Mount Hood. Lost Opportunity Country Cop (on guard at scene of tragedy): I tell you, you can ' t come in here. Bernice Hubbard, Blotter cub: But I ' m a re- porter. I ' ve been sent to ' do ' the murder. Cop: You ' re too late; the murder ' s been done. Hildred A.: Have you the time? Eugene C. : ' i ' eh. What do you want? ' Visit MALONE ' S Candyland Washington and Fourth Washington and Park ■..• •..■.■•■.•..•.••.■•■••••o..« « - .-«. ' ' -  « « « ' Pane 79 UtVlSUl ■ ■•■•••■••■• ■• Rental Rates I to I Students I Short Words for Long Memories Alibis are easy to find lint tli(- aren ' t wortli any- tiling after miu find them. A urade almost made is a rent almost paid. Have ou e er noticed that the students who lia e the Put Off habit sta put ijuite a «hilc. ' A student who hant;s crepe on his course before taking; a test has buried his chances. THIi REBLUI.T TYPEWRITIiR Go. I Kd Cheney: Uo your new shoes hurt? :!iM OAK STKEKT | Xate Isenstein: No, hut mv feet do. ••-• •--• •- Efficiency Visitinj; Coach : Sure, this field ' s all rit;ht, but what ' s the idea of the dotted lines? ' Mr. Carpenter: Well, ou see, this is :i busi- ness school. Kenneth Richards: Got m j;olf socks on to- day. DeLoss Peterson: How ' s that? K. Richards: Eighteen holes. Washington Furniture Exchange WILL nVY AND EXCHANGE FURNITURE 51 8 AVASHIXCTOX .Ne;ir Xineteenth Street Broadwiiy 3l 95 Shirts ■ Ties - Hats 286 Wa tuD£ OD Street Prof.: I am going to speak about liars today. How many of you have read the twenty-fourth chapter of the text? Nearly every student raised his hand. Prof.: Good! ou are the group to whom I wish to speak. There is no twenty-fourth chap- ter. Lucile Taggart bought some tires that smile at miles but they burst out laughing, so now she uses the street-car. She Do— Do She? Sambo: Say, Rastus, ebr ' time Ah kisses ma gal, she winks an ' blushes. Al ' hm! Rastus: Man, Ah say she do! Sambo: What? Rastus: Ah — Ah — Ah savs — do she? Stranger: Sonny, is your ma at home? Earl Cranston: Do ou think I ' m beating this carpet for my health? ■7 Buttered Popccrn, ( ' hewing- Gtini and Caiidv after voiir iioon-dav luiieii — biiv it frcm n. I). STAR. After Six O ' clock Evenings All Day Sxiiiday and Holidays ifeet : [e at Broadway and Morrison H. D. STAR THE POPCORN MAN Piige SO : =d UJPSSt •. .••••••••••• . ..   ..«. .1 ■•••■•■•• •■•••■•■••■■ ' -4TJST. PORTLAND.ORE. ■■•-•■••••••••••I ...•■••••••■•• •••••••••••••••••••••••1 P i,ye SI LERSER, if , C Co 4 ; « Q I a Page S: fcZ . E£R6E:R We Eight. T iiro Scholar ; Z., . ( f -;r Z:itl „. 2 - -- ' ' - ..-t t H g;- 2£. L - .s . «?ffWV ; | r v J w i :m ' ! 0 y ' ' y ' ' ' m y i yf .-iv -fl .