Cleveland High School - Legend Yearbook (Portland, OR)

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Kiffliiffti] THE LEDGER WHAT ' S IN A NAME? S t.N AN H M.I ' KRIK Ma Jones h;i(l lost lipr mind. There was no iloiiln of it. If the bah hatl been born at any other time, it would have been named juiui, or William, or any of the tiood old wornout names. Hut instead it was attached to the terrible caption, Archibald Marmaduke Jones. Pa Jones was disgusted with his better half. Imagine me — me — with a bab named Archibald Marmaduke! he groaned, as lie tried to seek an explanation for Ma Jones ' absence of brains. Oh, shut up! said Ma Jones. What are you croaking about, anywa ? I ' ll bring him up the way I want, and ()u can leave him alone! V ' es, you ' ll bring him up. I ' ve got an idea how you ' ll bring him up. Nice new Kauntleroy suit, cute little golden curls and pretty little white and pink shoes and stockings. Ugh! Get out of here, you brute. How dare you talk that way about our iddums cutcms pinky-pink toesics! Siie turned to tile baby, and started cod- dling it. Ciood-night ! More groans and Pa Jones went out on the porch and made the air blue for about five minutes. Archie, at home, was treated like a prince. But outside it was different. Archie had turned out the wa Pa Jones had predicted — a sissy — and he was treated by his schoolmates accordingly. But, of course, just as Ma Jones had taught ii. ' m, he held his nose in the air and did not conde- s end to look upon an who dared approach him. TIk- effect of . Ia Jones ' teaciiing was beginning to tell on the boy. He was becoming snobbisii. And P:i Jnncs, w iiat cnulii iu ' do? He just sat and groaned Iw ' hind iiis newspaper during tiie even- ings and listened tn Ma Jones indulge in the gentle art of inventing new pet n.imes for Archie. He had resolved not to interfere, but he was slowly be- coining disgusted «ith his wife ' s metiiod. When are you going to teach the little dear how- to make up the beds and darn m socks? he asked, sarcastically. All Ma Jones b.id to say was .Shut up! and Pa Jones shut up. It was about this time that Pa Jones ' mail began to get heavier. He received a long brown folder twice a week, and promptK retired with it to the attic, and for the next half hour Ma Jones would hear him jumping around and punching something. She didn ' t know just what it was, and Pa Jones wouldn ' t open his mouth on the subject. It isn ' t good for Archibald ' s constitution to lia e all that noise going on, she remarked at the table the first evening of the mysterious proceed- ing. Bail! replied Pa Jones and went on eating. One day wiicn Archie was about eleven years old — the stage in liis life where he was wearing a shiny, stiff collar and a big bow tie. Bill Graham happened to tease him a little more than usual. Living up to iiis mother ' s teaching, he promptly marched in and told the teacher. Coming out of school tiiat afternoon, he met Bill at tile corner and, with an ugly look on his face. Bill muttered, Here ' s w licre 1 ciiange your complexion, (iu little sissy. He grahiicd Arciiie l) the arm and puiicd iilm into an alley, wiiere lie proceeded to muss him up con:.iderably. Fifteen minutes later Archie slowl - eased iiim- self up the front steps of iiis home, and dragged into the kitchen. Ma Jones looked up, and promptly dropped her jnrn Tnd ih? pan which she was iiolding. What happened to motlier ' s little darling boy? slie cried, as she started toward iiini. Tell mother what happened. Archie told iicr as well as siie could, considering the puffed lips lie iiad lately acipiired, hi!e his motiier wasiied him .irid applied a iieefsteak to his black eye. Pa Jones came home for dinner to find his son sitting on Ma Jones ' lap, eating a piece of pie. Pa Jones was a sorrv-looking spectacle himself — his face scratclied up, iiis nose still bleeding ami his right eye swollen. Ma Jones shrieked, and cried, ' » ' ou, too! What ' s the matter?

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r H E L E D a E R [Seventeen LOOKS ARE OFTEN DECEIVING ' iRi;i i V ' i (.iii;ll S;i ' , Slim, vlipte ,i ;;i iir? itskcil Freckles of his chum. To tlu ' (ilil mine. .iniia j;() loii;;? Sure, justa miiuitc. Soon the pair were on their way to the deserted coal mine — a place thc ' IkuI no ri lit to enter. But they were just boys and in search of advcTiture, at that. On their arrival the looked carefully around to see that they weren ' t watched; then, with a hur- ried scramble, they were inside. O-o-f! firoaned Freckles. Wiio ' ve I run into? Say, j;uy, lay off! It ' s me — Fred! Oh, 1 bejj your pardon — this respectful!) ' from Freckle?. He recognized the voice of the preacher ' s son, the toufihest kid in the xillage. Whatcha doin ' in here? This question simul- taneously from both. Just lookin ' ' round. Come along, answered Fred. The three scamps wandered around for about an hour, and didn ' t realize that they were lost until they tried to find the entrance. At first, they all put up a bold front — Freckles was the first to break down, then Slim. Fred was hard-boiled for about an hour, then sudden ' y startled his com- panions by dropping on his knees and praying — something like this : Oh, God, please let me get home! I — I — Fll never be bad any more. What ' ll my mama do? O-o-o-o-o-o, hut it ' s dark — pie for supper! Ah-h-h ! I wanna go home! What ' d I cvcr-r come here fur? Oh, please show us the way out! Fll not play hookey any more. My dad ' ll pray for me, too. God !— oh ! oh! oh! 1 wanna git outa here! Help! Help Help Help! He wa; finally hys- terica! — scared stiff — so to speak. During the course of this prayer. Freckles had wandered ahead about fifty feet. A triumphant ell startled the other two into running. Their pal had discovered the exit from tlie old mine. As soon as they were safely out and used to the strong light, Fred turned on his friends with clenched fists and his noted ' ' fighting mug on. Say, you two kids keep mum, he growled. If you ever dare tell anybody I got ' soft ' in that mine, I ' ll knock the daylights outa you! ) know 1 can. Now, shut up — remember! With this speech, he thrust his hands into his pockets and went whistling down the road, fol- lowed meekh ' by the dumfounded Freckles and Slim. To the Devastators Kennktu L. Coi.i.ixs Wiiy devastate the forests, The rivers, and the sky. Of their many little citizens? Wh ' trv to make them die? They were put here for a purpose, Just the same as you and I. Harm them not, ye devastators, We ' ll be lonely if they die.

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THE LEDGER [Sini ' tfi-n Pa Jones didnt ' answi-r lior. It seemed to be too much tor him to look at his son. Fie promptly started cussing, loosing every swearword he had stored up, since Ma Jones started to train Archie. Why 1 let you do this for is more than I can see! he shouted at his wife, who cowered hack against the wall. He turned to his son. Come with me, he said, and stalked out of tiu- room. They went up to the attic, where Pa Jones pumped Archie for all the details of the fight. Well, he said, I guess it sure is time for me to take a hand in this. Now, listen to me. Yau just forget everything your mother ever taught you. See? I ' m going to teach you from now on. See my face? Well, I was in a fight today, too. Bur I didn ' t stand up and let the other guy soak me. ou saw all those envelopes that came to the house, and you heard all that racket upstairs. Well, that was me, learning how to box, from a correspondence course. Now, you ' re going to learn how to bo. , too. I cleaned up that fellow today, and there ' s no reason in the world why you can ' t do the same thing to Bill Graham. We ' ll begin right here. And he took Archie over to the punch- ing bag in the corner. V ' he Ma Jones learned about Pa Jones ' inten- tion, she exclaimed : ' ou ' re not going to teach m baby how to fight! She shuddered at the thought of her darling little pet stooping so low. ' i ' ou can stop right there. I ' m teaching the boy now. I ' ll make a man of him. Vou ' ve had your turn, replied Pa Jones, and walked out of the house. Three weeks later Archie was subjected to more teasing b Bill Crahani. lie ininiediately started to roll up his sleeves, at which the boys began laughing. Just imagine the sissy tr ing to fight! Hill (iraham smiled confidently, while Archie gritted his teeth and tried to remember the things he was supposed to do, according to the boxing in- structions. Bill, attempting to inject a little comedy into the affair, started to wind up. Before he was half through, a sledgehammer had landed on his nose. Another promptly settled on his ear, and then Archie started punching with startling rapidit . each blow landing effectively. The bell interrunted the fight and the pupils slo l walked away from the scene of activity,, remarking among themselves about Archie ' s prowess. That night Archie indulged in his first cussword. As he threw his blue silk nightgown out of the win- dow, he stubbed his toe on the dresser. With much vigor he said, Damn! w-hile his father out- side the door smiled and said softly: ' our mother named you Archibald Marmaduke, but I guess you ' ll live it down. Told by the Ri er Fayr Howe Back and forth the tall reeds sway, Whispering softly through the day Tales, the river on its way. Reminiscent in the sun ' s bright ray, Has sung so merrily. Tales of bars of snowy sands, Of precious pebbles on strange strands, Of slimmest palms in langorous lands, Of elk in overwhelming bands. As it flows onward toward the sea.