Classical High School - Blue and White Yearbook (Springfield, MA)

Page 28 text:

cards, and his sole customer, Ann Goodlatte will promise to buy them from him as fast as he can make them. She and Terry Flynn will finally buy a king-sized locker in which to store all their show biz riscel- lany. There will be a new theory in the field of mathematics never before known to be true in history. It states that math ds square students are smarter than 4s students. The theory was formulated by Slim Lins, Fingers Petit, and Asky Askninas. Jerome Kern will become the world's heavyweight wrestling champ, triumphing over Jim Calvert. Defective detectives Jim Lomax and Dave Rascal Tasgal will solve the mystery! They will successfully discover who is Dave Silbermann and who is Steve Silverman.... or, «. who is Steve Silbermann.... OF, «ee. who is Dave Steve.... or which one is the lanky editorial writer! Vivacious Viv Greenberg and Naughty Nikki Cohen will open a night club, starring such all time greats as Mike Rothschild and Joe Moriarity in a trumpet duet. Unfortunately, Joe will not have broken his habit of beating his foot viciously against the floor and will disappear into his self-made hole, still pounding madly. Speedsters Steve Roberts and Mike Rothman will vie for the title of fastest man on earth. Of course, Steve will race his motor scooter and Mike his Triumph. (Rothman slightly favored.) Speaking of champs, Bob Weber will win the world's championship bridge match--------SINGLE-HANDED! Sheriff Molly Sherriff and her posse of Anne Kaye, Helaine Talberth, Franny Braddon, and Helaine Ruby will finish their task of rounding up breakers of Anti-trust laws, Tom Thibault (green chino pants) and Steve Perkins (Junior Achievement Companies). Bubbles Speigel, who will take over Louella Parson's position after years of devoted reporting from the second floor girls' room, will let out the news the Brad Gale's Worcester Polytech sweatshirt has worn out after 37 years of wear. Also alert to World Firsts, Lynnie will announce that Brenda Glazer, leading the Army Band, has finally learned how to blow a whistle. Other news of local interest will include the announcement of Dapper Daffy Durf's (otherwise known as Alexander Hallenstein) middle name, Finsterwalden. His will then be the longest name in the world. 24

Page 27 text:

title roles in The Mad Chemiste, “Pembrokey Kate, and Flyface and the Kangaroo, a double portrayal. Mary Beatty will appear as the sinister Gila-Monster Lady, Mother Betsee, who absconds with the treasury money of her J(ade) A(rmring) company, and John Hosagee Odierna will play the male lead of the Hong Kong baseball player from San Francisco Chinatown. Under the able direction of Diann You're not acting. This play is no longer a play, but you're living it now. Bruce, the staff will include John Don't get fresh with me. Dunn as set designer, Dick Dead Man's Terror Hickson on lights, and Marianne Let's go, kinds. Where's the eyebrow pencil? Stenta, owner of the fabulous Madame Chickie's House of Face Surgery (for deteriorat- ing females). Witty dialogue written by renowned winner of the Pulitzing and Nobel Piece literature prizes, Edward Lasky, and soul-searching msic composed by the famous team of Fred Marcoux and Kenneth Laster, who will to- gether establish the United Union of Oriental Zither Players, the long-run musical will be financed by multimillionaresses, Mary Flynn, who will amass a fortune in the wholesale props for Chinese Monsoons and New Years, and Penny Sobel, who will gather her millions in two ways: (1) by a glorious career as a Japanese block printer, and (2) by collecting mountains of moolah as alimony from her Ceylon tea plantation owner ex-husband Tenda Leif. A mammoth project for Donald Roberts will be the establishing of a National Library for Aged Sumerai Warriors and their immediate families. The membership in this institution will be exclusive and Sue Litman, President of the Japanese-Chinese Congress of Mongoloid Librarians, will be in charge of stocking the shelves with such favorites as Brainwashing in Five Easy Lessons For People With Dirty Minds (Tubs are supplied with this book.), Fu Manchu Goes to Staten Island, and Flying Down to Manchuria With an American History Book and a Library Pass for D Period in Singapore, an autobiography written by Sue herself. Next door to the Library will be Michael Austin's fabulous night dive, The Chatreuse Dragon, where Mike will specialize in a drink made from Appassionata Fruit, Javanese Limes and Lemons, and Peiping Purple Watermelons. After a stretch in the hoosegow for paddling hot sugar, and a rapid retirement, Mike will write his memoirs in a book destined to be a bestseller, Submitted to a Hideous Chinese Torture®™ or Life With My Grandmother. During Mike's heyday as a restaurateur, Walter Babyface Phair will serve as headwaiter, bouncer, barkeeper, and bodyguard (his many cuts in gym will help him here). Babyface's portable Japanese Torture Chamber (made in Hoboken) will be notorious from the Yang-Tze to the Ganges. Holding the spot as Mike's gun-moll and head performer as a splendid ecydisiast in his club, will be Roberta Sawwie” Greller. Bert's act will be greatly enhanced by her brilliant repartee. Naughty! Naughty! Also sharing the limelight at the Dragon will be Donna Gingerdoll” Williams, whose act will include the Bunny Cha-Cha-Cha. GREAT EXPECTATIONS Martha, Merna, Manuel, Denny, Johanna, snd Sherman will finish their life's work of wiping from the face of the earth the Jones, Brown, ana Johnson families. Noted artist Barry Schiller will continue to make those famous studio 23

Page 29 text:

Who's Who--1975 Bloom, Miriam (b. 1941): Twin sister of Bloom, Muriel (b. 1919): Bloom, Susan (b. 1941): No relation. Buff, Carol (b. 1620): Named after Buffie, famous T.V. dog star Callahan, Kathy (b. 1776): Inventor of the unidentifiable accent Chase, Alan (1929): Nephew of Penny Chase (b. 1929) Dallaire, Terry (b. 1999): Nephew of drummer Shelly Manne. Dever, Gerald (b. 1917): Mayor of Albany, N. Y. DiSanti, Gerard (b. 1900): Owner of yogurt concession in room 318 Edwall, Ann (b. 1066): (see Neuman, Alfred E.) Fahlbush, Roberta (b. 1863): (see Edwall, Ann) Fei, Wally (b. 1953): A GIRL! Finlayson, Stuart (b. 1812): Inventor of muscles that have muscles which in turn have still more muscular muscles with muscles of MCU SCLOEs sis ces.e 0's s Gurvitech, Marc (b. 1763): Holder of world's record for number of drum-heads broken in one basketball game. 25