Classical High School - Blue and White Yearbook (Springfield, MA)

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Nick Ellsberg with his Quintim Theory on quintims will finally find something to baffle Mr. Lynch. In the liberary world, well-known writer, Louise Murray, will publish her first collection of poems, short stories, and editorials, entitled Doc, 12W and I. Jeff Eisman, Art Abrams and Gary Fialky will open up a school for creative writers. Profit will go to their devoted teacher, Mrs. Merrill. Bruce Albro, noted writer, will win the Judith C. Knox Merit Award for his work on the Pink and Green, the well-known yearbook. Former winner Claire LaFond presented the prize. Since 1959, Miss Knox has been awarding this prize for excellence in any notable field. In return, she has been granted such outstanding prizes as the G. G. Badge of Approval for general excel- lence, especially in the field of Dramatics. Charles DiMascola will be expelled from the Tokyo Art Conservatory for painting a picture of an American mountain, and at the same time of this dramatic historical event, famous playboy Gary Crawford will finally admit that he has never been out with a girl, while Rich Dow, Bill Fullerton, Dave Dimock, and Ed Garvey will still be sitting at that same lunch table wonder- ing if anybody heard them. Rock 'n Roll sensation Pete DiPietro when asked his opinion about the food surplus, will say, Care, care, during which time Blushing Beth Bennett will invent a new powerful telescope for keeping an eye on a certain Italian devil. Basketball star Gary Auslander tells his secret for stealing the ball, and Leon Anziano will wrap his brand new brassie around the head of the last guy who called him Butch. Kathy Engel will be awarded the Driver of the Year medal, in spite of protests by her first instructor, Don Vaughn. Semi-finalists in the Miss Tokyo contest will be Lin-Doo-Bee, Shai- Rhee Bee-Shand, Kah-Tee Ben-Sahn, and Roh-Kee Gen-Zah. At the age of eighty- five, finalist Polly Couri will finally receive her new cheerleader's uniform, and judge Margie Fletcher will invent a new dress zipper. Jim Clark will get quite a jolt and perhaps a little hot under the collar when the runner in the opening ceremonies of the 1976 Olympics mis- takes him for the torch.

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man Steve Weissman and pop-corn vendor Joel Jacobson. Famous Chinese-Italian restaurant will be run by honorable Jerry Sibilia, companion Gary Crawford, and former pitcher for Fujiama Red Sox, John Wholley. SUE ANSARA, after a brilliant and profitable career as a Japanese coolie, will spend her millions establishing a school to teach the Japanese French, Sue will first try her hand at learning the Japanese language, while one of her honorable companions, Ferne Roberts, diligently checks and corrects thousands of little buck teeth, and Myrna Small, made their patron saint by the Japanese Parliament, passes out honorable Jello. These girls will be quite safe in the Japanese Republic of the Kingdom of Boy's Patrol, established by King Kong Hulton, the premieristic, presidential emperor, and his worthy associates, Dee Merit Winiarski, General of the Republic's army, Barry Never-on-his-post Lynes, Captain of the King's Guards, Gary Is this one- thirty-second of a sixty-fourth of an inch fine, Dr. W? Baylor, Royal window opener, Arlan Haberdashery Goss, Royal clothier, and Dave “May I borrow your French? Bresler, Secretary of Foreign affairs, which will concern mostly dealings with a small colony of Polynesian Amazons, set up by Queenie Bee Bobbie Izenstein. Michele King will act as the court musician for the maids, specializing in playing all kinds of oriental cellos, and will serve as the queen's personal Poison Brewer (She'll be excellent because of her A's in Chem- istry.), and Merna Smith, who will be court Abacus-reader (her special training in Math 4s will come in handy here). GILBERT SALK will continue to try to pass himself off as a living human being, making the rounds of the Japanese night spots, with the help of his trainer and manager, Mandarin Christopher Sorenson. The couple will be called to make a special a special appearance at the magnifi- cent pagoda of Madame Dotty Yarmitsky, whose night festivsls will make Elsa Maxwell's get-togethers look like family breakfast among sick chickens. During the day, Dotty will, just for her own enjoyment, act as personal secre- tary to the future world famous detective who will solve his cases by use of advanced calculus and analytical geometry, C. Manny Smith Chan. ELAINE STEINBERG'S famous Japman's Japanese Theatre, at which she will often sing as the star heroine in many great Chinese, Japanese, and other orien- tal operas, will resound with the melodious strains of Sin Sitee Sue from Chin Ching Choo, a gala musical. The show will have as its star, Kathy Grady, playing the title role of a Shanghai orphan who finds her Shangri-La in Tokyo. Kathy will have many other brilliant performances to her credit, including the 21

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title roles in The Mad Chemiste, “Pembrokey Kate, and Flyface and the Kangaroo, a double portrayal. Mary Beatty will appear as the sinister Gila-Monster Lady, Mother Betsee, who absconds with the treasury money of her J(ade) A(rmring) company, and John Hosagee Odierna will play the male lead of the Hong Kong baseball player from San Francisco Chinatown. Under the able direction of Diann You're not acting. This play is no longer a play, but you're living it now. Bruce, the staff will include John Don't get fresh with me. Dunn as set designer, Dick Dead Man's Terror Hickson on lights, and Marianne Let's go, kinds. Where's the eyebrow pencil? Stenta, owner of the fabulous Madame Chickie's House of Face Surgery (for deteriorat- ing females). Witty dialogue written by renowned winner of the Pulitzing and Nobel Piece literature prizes, Edward Lasky, and soul-searching msic composed by the famous team of Fred Marcoux and Kenneth Laster, who will to- gether establish the United Union of Oriental Zither Players, the long-run musical will be financed by multimillionaresses, Mary Flynn, who will amass a fortune in the wholesale props for Chinese Monsoons and New Years, and Penny Sobel, who will gather her millions in two ways: (1) by a glorious career as a Japanese block printer, and (2) by collecting mountains of moolah as alimony from her Ceylon tea plantation owner ex-husband Tenda Leif. A mammoth project for Donald Roberts will be the establishing of a National Library for Aged Sumerai Warriors and their immediate families. The membership in this institution will be exclusive and Sue Litman, President of the Japanese-Chinese Congress of Mongoloid Librarians, will be in charge of stocking the shelves with such favorites as Brainwashing in Five Easy Lessons For People With Dirty Minds (Tubs are supplied with this book.), Fu Manchu Goes to Staten Island, and Flying Down to Manchuria With an American History Book and a Library Pass for D Period in Singapore, an autobiography written by Sue herself. Next door to the Library will be Michael Austin's fabulous night dive, The Chatreuse Dragon, where Mike will specialize in a drink made from Appassionata Fruit, Javanese Limes and Lemons, and Peiping Purple Watermelons. After a stretch in the hoosegow for paddling hot sugar, and a rapid retirement, Mike will write his memoirs in a book destined to be a bestseller, Submitted to a Hideous Chinese Torture®™ or Life With My Grandmother. During Mike's heyday as a restaurateur, Walter Babyface Phair will serve as headwaiter, bouncer, barkeeper, and bodyguard (his many cuts in gym will help him here). Babyface's portable Japanese Torture Chamber (made in Hoboken) will be notorious from the Yang-Tze to the Ganges. Holding the spot as Mike's gun-moll and head performer as a splendid ecydisiast in his club, will be Roberta Sawwie” Greller. Bert's act will be greatly enhanced by her brilliant repartee. Naughty! Naughty! Also sharing the limelight at the Dragon will be Donna Gingerdoll” Williams, whose act will include the Bunny Cha-Cha-Cha. GREAT EXPECTATIONS Martha, Merna, Manuel, Denny, Johanna, snd Sherman will finish their life's work of wiping from the face of the earth the Jones, Brown, ana Johnson families. Noted artist Barry Schiller will continue to make those famous studio 23