Classical High School - Blue and White Yearbook (Springfield, MA)

Page 21 text:

Gormetian, Texas--The wealthy German baron, Hans Hezel, has just introduced wienerschnitzel and knockwurst in the Far West. Employed as cooks are Betty Denvir, Janice Kuhnert, Nancy Nelson, Laurie Saxon, and Gail Brunelle. Zorrinas, Wyoming--Juanita Bemarkt, Paula Carlson, Lois Payne, Terry Regina,heada@l by Phyllis Bailey, appeared today in the sheriff's office complaining about the disturbance caused by their co-workers, Fancy Nancy Goodman, Revelry Beverly Cohn and Louie Turnbull. Riding fast behind the committee was the rest of the patrol, Sally Bremner, Jean Burnett, Peg Lynch, and Cindy Rudek, with Go-Get-—'em Green at the head and Clop-along Clayton bringing up the rear.” Big Bend, Texas--George Mourey and Bob Shierman were recently arrested for ambushing writer Larry Sinclair. Sinclair had writ- ten an article exposing their smuggling of drybacks across the Rio Grande. Gold Dust, Arizona--Wild West Weisenberg, Cap Gun Kaplan, and Wendalong Johnson have gotten away with twenty bags of gold dust from the Granfield Loan Company. Dallas, Texas--Prominent socialite Marcia Cofsky tonight gave the glittering social event of the year--an exclusive quilting bee. Among the distinguished guests were Joan Bly, susan Brand, Sandra Tilden, Natalie Bongiorni, Bette Gorman, and Joan Ickrath. Valarie Smith, stunning in gray homespun, poured. Pisces, Mississippi--Gills Kelly recently accepted a chal- lenge from Mississippi champion floater Howard Winniman. lLife- guards on hand will be Betsy Lee and Anne Whittington. Bones, Arizona--The first Slenderella in the west, managed by Norma Trumble, will open one week from today. Those enrolled for her first class are: Carol Vaughan, Joan Davidson, Marcia Baribeau, and Delores McCullough. Pecunia, Wyoming--Elliot Stern, famous oil tycoon, has gone bankrupt trying to outbid competitor Brooks Fitch. Millionaire Fitch reportedly amassed his fortune through the sale of fire- water to the Indians. Feline, Texas--Joyce Champion, Janice Cowen, Millie Gorham, Margaret Fey, Linda Hosmer, and Estelle Kafantaris are competing for top honors in the Wild West Women's Rodeo. Featured event will be the Cat Contest, in which the contestants will trade in- sults. Walla Walla, Washington--Genevieve reall and Eleanor Spring, who went west to convert all the heathens of Chief Paul Bass' tribe, are running into strong opposition led by Judy Husband.

Page 20 text:

Torch, Arizona--Delores De Maio and Sonja Odzereiko are giving a Fan Dango at the Gold Dust Saloon, featuring Donna Elliot singing Home on the Range. Other acts will include a comedy scene by Rossy Koitz, Ellen Wolf, and Ellen Kirsner, and a reading of Irish Poetry by John Sames. Prominent guests at- tending are: Shirley Morsky, Sandra Matthews, Martha Morgan, William Russell, and Barry Queen. Ubangi, Texas--The famed linguists Mary-Kay Gamel, Leslie Williams, Terry DeRiso, Kay Messing, and Natalie Herman have penetrated the stronghold of the Navoquois Indians to spread the English language and culture. But Merle Lavois, the chief, doesn't look too happy about it. Holster, Oregon--Ellen Lediard is formulating plans for the proposed School of Maidenly Self- Defense. Already enrolled are sandra Phelps, Pamela Kie, Janet Hatzipetrou, and Suzanna Richter. Four Roses, Arizona—-—-A Squad of revenooers, composed of | Pia i aan . Ed Dramin, John Durocher, Joe COLLET ATEAN WAH TR OT 2 Wen a Halperin, Richard Gloth, John : nal ) Hadenchuk, Dave Garnes, and Steve Daly raided the Cotteéer-Simonoff- McCook Old Hootch distillery in the Ozark Hills. Dodge City--Marshal J. Wesley Miller today arrested the entire new show of exotic chorus girls at the Long Branch Saloon, consisting of Bubbles Burzynski, Kuddles Kober, Saucy Shaw, Unabashedtt ' Dearborn, Heavenly Howes, Jump-— ing Jennings, and Undulating Underhill, despite the protests of Manager Linda Bowman. Presley, Arizona--Richard O Brooks, a sheep rancher, with foreman Half-Can Pel, to market with Hound Dog Meyers, acting sheep dog., have started nwD Hot Wind, Arizona--Railroad empire builder Richard Willis announced plans to connect Caracas and Point Barrow. Unfortun- ately, the Orihurohee Indians, Don Patrell, Irving Danio, Bruce Pease, Barry Levensen, and Richard Lewis, scalped him when he’ tried to purchase land with glass diamonds. Renegade, Wyoming--Linda Steinberg, Joyce Taliaferro, Pat Tuttle, Harriet Gubkin, Celia Ucella, Nancy Vester, and Yvette Williams, who: began an orphanage for Indian children left home- less by canoeing raids, today struck oil on their land.

Page 22 text:

Podunk, Oregon--Harry Jilson has just accepted the position of Head of the Proble ms of Democracy Department at Podunk University. When asked by Bruce Hinkley how he liked his new job, Jilson replied: Wonerful, wonérful. OF THE Last Gasp, Arizona--The Rangers of Bar 305, Jim Smith, Ken Hall, John Wise, Jim Brown, Jim Rodeheaver, Richard Vigneault, and Tom Gonzalez, have just captured Dead-Eye William. UNITED STAT Johnson, Oklahoma--Adamczyk, Bach- élor, and White have recently joined the board of the Society for the Pro- tection of the Accident Prone. D. J., Texas--Tom Reilly today was to have introduced his first hoedown. Unfortunately, the show had to be cancelled because of.a duel caused by a dis— agreement between jazzman Lynwood Cooke and Conductor Desmond. Clinton. Seconds will be Richard Duffy and Al Goldsmith. Tombstone, Arizona--A big Rodeo is being held at-.the O. K. Coral. Featured is the hog-calling of Mark Cohen, the steer- wrestling of Milton Benjamin, the bronc-busting of John Rixon, and the dancing of Karen Adams, Sandra Bassell, Pat Duffy, Susan Dambrov, and Barbara Trager. Homburg, Texas--The first suitcoat factory in the west has just been opened by prominent Easterner Robert Yosko. Dress right--you can't afford not to, said Yosko. U235, Nevada--Pete Flint and Fred Reynolds have just filed a claim on the first uranium lode in the United States. Assayer Rothman remarked: That stuff aintt never gonna be worth nothing. Death Valley, Wyoming--The sheriff of Death Valley, Martin Biza, today apprehended the notorious sand dune snatchers, . Reggie Roche and Pat Lamothe, and gave them five weeks detention. The well-known lawyer, Troy Murray, will plead their case. Flash--There will be a big Conestoga drag from Salt Lake City to Los Angeles. Entered with their stripped-down wagons will be Bill Fagin, Ronald Grant, Val Kitty, Martin Schneider, and Joel Tillman. Judges picked are Harvey Weisthal and David NYA Re ES LS a Chatterbox, Wyoming--Captured by Indian squaws Linda Nelson, Sherry Smith, Sally Mallileau, Leyanne Mansur, Diane Psilos, and Ann Reynolds, Sally Nystedt managed to escape by talking them all to death.