Classical High School - Blue and White Yearbook (Springfield, MA)

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Teh EM BL Et Are Seater es

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le Cees tos or, ARIE memo eit lee The Prophecy of the Class of 1937; SETTING: It is twenty-five minutes of three by the clock in room 323 away up on the third floor in Classical High School. At the sound of ‘‘class dismissed’’ 85 pupils have vanished as one man from the room. Two figures remain, deep in thought. They are your prophets, HELEN JEANNOTTE and JOE CALDWELL. HELEN looks disconsolate, but JoE seems rather ex- cited. HELEN breaks the silence. HELEN: Joe, I’m dreadfully discouraged. I’ve spent hours trying to write this prophecy, and what have | got? Only a headache. Do you know | find myself staring into space and thinking desperately: ‘‘What is going to happen to Johnny Mayer?’ It’s a terrible situation. [Hastily] | mean, trying to write this prophecy, not what’s going to happen to Johnny. joe: Helen, our troubles are over. Little JoJo has solved everything. Now see this desk we’re sitting on. Well, it looks like an ordinary desk, doesn’t it? Aha, well that’s where you’re wrong. Little does Miss Battis know that her desk is the third magic carpet ever in existence. I call it the THREE TWENTY THREE SUPER SPECIAL UNLIMITED, but for short I call it the 3T-SSU. It may not be streamlined but oh boy! The Arabians had one. Eddie Cantor had one. Why shouldn’t we have one? ‘The best part of it is though that this one takes us about 10 years into the future. We can find out what’s happened to all our classmates. All you have to do is to hold on tight and we’ll go right to town. Hey, wait a minute! Where are we going? HELEN: [Soothingly] Now Joe, it’s all right. You’ve been thinking too hard, that’s all. You wait right here like a good boy, ’til I get a policeman, or a doctor, or somebody. joe: Come back here. I’m not crazy. [Modestly] I just wrote to my friend Einstein and using the principal of the fifth dimension and aeronautic static waves and err ah—a few other things you wouldn’t understand, he fixed this up for me. Come on. This ought to be fun! HELEN sits down gingerly on the THREE TWENTY- THREE SUPER-SPECIAL UNLIMITED, and shuts Jher eyes as the new flying carpet glides smoothly out of the room, down the right corridor, into the art room, and out the open skylight. Joe: [gaily] We’re off! HELEN: [in a scared voice] I'll say we're off. We’re tetched in the haid. The next time you get me off terra firma—ooooh. [Her voice fades away as the THREE TWENTY-THREE SUPER-SPECIAL UNLIMITED grazes the Municipal Tower by an eighth of an inch.] JoE: Whee! That was close. HELEN: [crossly] Joe, I hate to be a back-seat driver, but you got me on this thing, so for heaven’s sake, watch where we’re going. JOE: OK! My little chickadee, but have you noticed, anything different about the scenery? Look at all those modernistic houses, and will you look at Forbes and Wallace’s skyscraper? Do you realize that around ten years have passed since we started on this trip? HELEN: [moaning] I'll say I do. I can feel my hair turning white already. JOE: We’re over Pynchon Park now. Look, the circus is in town. One mystery is solved. Do you see that bill-board down there? HELEN: [peering down cautiously] Well, who’d have believed it? It says ‘See John Mayer, famous con- tinental star, in his thrilling, death defying act of being shot out of a giant cannon.” JOE: [sotto voce] It would have to be a giant cannon to shoot Johnnie Mayer out of it. HELEN: That settles him anyway. We can cross him off our list. At this moment, a gigantic boom is heard, and as our hero and heroine look down, Johnnie Mayer comes sailing by with the greatest of ease, and then drops down into the net below. HELEN: Joe, we’d better leave this place. All those people are pointing and staring at us. Joe: All right. Let’s go downtown and look around. We’d better park this lizzie, and begin snooping. HELEN: Right. We've used up three pages already and have only got one prophecy solved. Joe: Well, here we are over Main Street. Gosh, the parking problem is just as bad as ever. We'd better land on Forbes and Wallace’s roof. The 3T-SSU comes to rest on the top of the sky-scraper and the two prophets are soon in an elevator and down to the street. Joe: Let’s buy a newspaper. Maybe we'll find out something from that. Then let’s go over to Court Square and sit on a park bench. There’s an empty one. Here, you look at this part of the paper, and I'll glance through the rest. HELEN: Here’s something right on the front page. “William Sweeney, ace Fuller Brush Salesman, breaks records for sales in Hampden County.” Isn’t that wonderful, Joe? I always had a feeling Bill would make a name for himself. Mmmm—Here’s another one of our class on the front page. ‘Roma Whitney, famous screen star, elopes with Count Amigoodski.” Looks as if Renfrew Roma’s got her man again. Jor: It says in the advertisements, ‘‘Come to

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Be Lewes ba lon UNra le Opa eae oY Sweetie’s Soda Shop for Smooth Sundaes—Rosamond Morin, Proprietress’’. Our Rosamond has made good it seems. Remind me to drop in there in ten years. HELEN: Have you noticed who is editing the Union now? None other than William Hebert. That’s going places isn’t it? On page seven, it announces the opening of Mme. Elaine Gosselin’s Dress Salon. Elaine always did have talent. JOE: Here is a society note that ought to interest you “Mrs. William Schofield, the former Ruth Zandan, entertained the chatter-box Bridge Club yesterday at the Forest Park Ave. Pent House. Miss Charlotte Kus took the first prize and Miss Rose Ziff won the booby.” HELEN: Here is a book list that is very interesting. Kathleen Benson has just published her third novel “Away With the Breeze’ and Robert Gutzwiller has just got out his autobiography ‘‘Bobbie, the Bold, Bad Boy Bandit’, or “The Terror of Classical.’’ Sold to Freshmen only. joe: Barbara Mize, famous opera star of the Met, sailed today to sing at the Paris Opera House. HELEN: Listen to this one: Frances Magidson, Hollywood news hawk, says ‘‘It’s rumored that Am- erica’s Heart-Throb, Arthur Lovelorn, alias Arthur Fisette is ‘that way’ about ex-movie star Shirley Temple.” That is a scoop. joe: And here’s another. Ruth Masterson is the first woman treasurer of the First National Bank. Antoinetta Cicchetti is her secretary. That’s making use of her talents, isn’t it? HELEN: I see that Doris Guenther is a photographer's model now. That’s her picture advertising Goo-Goo Gum, on that sign. JoE: Here’s one of our friends in the Want Ads. “John Fleming wants a job as truant officer for a correspondence school.” HELEN: Barbara Woods is offering a special six months’ course a t her Finishing School on ‘‘How to make yourself beautiful in ten minutes’’. joe: Here are a few pictures of movie performers showing at the various theatres about town. Marie Mayer and Don Fortier are co-starred in ‘Classical Blue and White’, directed by that noted producer Philip Katzman. And doesn’t Don look sweet in that football uniform? | like these colored photographs they have in the newspapers now. JoE: Mary Fotias’ picture is here too. She cer- tainly put Simone Simon in the background ever since she appeared with Bob Taylor in the Follies of 1947. HELEN: I'm afraid there is nothing else in this news- paper to interest us, Joe. Let’s walk down Main Street and see what’s happening. [The two prophets stroll down the street, until a large poster attracts their attention. ‘It is a campaign poster of Morton Slavin, the peoples’ friend. His mayoralty platform is “A thirty hour week for leisure.’ Nearby is a placard telling that Dempsey Bryant has just re- turned from London and will lecture at Phil Crowe's Deluxe Tailor Shop on “What the Well Dressed Man is Wearing.” As the prophets finish reading these, they hear a radio from the next store. A voice is saying, ‘This is Marjorie Brooks, bringing you some news of the local people before Station WMAS presents Pearl Gardner’s Cooking School of the Air.’ “Evelyn Baker, an air Hostess from this city, has just finished her one hundredth transcontinental trip. The Air Line Company presents her with orchids as a token of appreciation for her services. “Erin Mulvaney, courageous lion hunter, who has succeeded Mrs. Martin Johnson, has returned to this country with a record catch of twenty-three lions. She plans to make a lecture tour of the country. “And this is our last item of the day. Charlotte Litman has been chosen as the Massachusetts delegate to the National Peace Convention. Her prize essay won her this coveted honor. “And another Springfield girl, Ernestine Brown, will represent the United States at the Olympics this year. Ernestine, as you know, is a champion basketball player. We pause now to bring you the time, through the courtesy of the Evangellen Tea Room, Evangeline Kertiles and Ellen Pricopoulos, owners.’ [JOE jumps at this announcement.} jor: Hey! It must be getting late. We have to leave right away. [HELEN and JOE rush back to Forbes and Wallace and once more embark on the THREE-TWENTY-THREE SUPER- SPECIAL UNLIMITED. ] HELEN: Let’s go slowly by some of these office windows. Maybe we'll see someone we know. Look in that dentist’s office. That’s Paul Foley with those big pliers. Helen Beck must be his office nurse. She is having a terrible time holding that patient down. Joe: No wonder, the patient is Donald Pickrell. HELEN: There’s a new big building over therc. What does that sign say Joe? Jor: [reads] ‘‘Cushing’s Marionette Factory. That’s Henry Cushing, of course, of course. I'll bet he ran Tony Sarg out of business long ago. HELEN: Joe, it’s getting awfully late and foggy. We’d better hurry. JoE: We’ll be back in a jiffy. The fog is rather bad though. [The 3%-ssu proceeds rapidly through the thickening mist until suddenly there is a loud crash and still louder screams. These fade away into the silence as the scene changes.] HELEN and JOE are now back in 323. HELEN: [dreamily] | was afraid that you’d forget that tower. joe: Huh! What did you say? HELEN: [with a start] Oh! Did I say something? I’m afraid I’ve been day dreaming. joe: Yeah. I was in a fog for a while, but will you look at the time. HELEN: |in despair] 4:30! It doesn’t seem possible. JOE: [gloomily] Well, it is and we haven’t a thing done. HELEN: You know, I| had the funniest dream, Joe. Joe: | wonder how Miss Battis’ desk got all scratched. It looks as though it ran into a building. [The two prophets are still deep in thought as the scene fades out.] ” HELEN JEANNOTTE JoE CALDWELL