Clarion University of Pennsylvania - Sequelle Yearbook (Clarion, PA)

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Decking the halls (and hitting the books) ' Twas the night betore finals and all through the dorm Not a student was stirring not one single form. The books were all flung on the desks without care In hope that Christmas break soon would be there. My roommate with french fries and I with Big Mac Had both settled down for a short midnight snack. Our professors were nestled all snug in their beds While visions of worried students danced in their heads. Then what to my bloodshot eyes did appear The face of my alar m clock, the ultimate fear. Up out of my bed, quick as a flash, I fell into the dresser with a booming crash. I got to the final in spite of it all, Just then did the professor my name call. A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, Soon gave me to know I had something to dread. He spoke not a word, but handed out the exam The girl behind me got up and ran. Laying my hand upon my sweaty neck, I searched the final, gave it one last check. I sprang to my feet, handed in the test The semester was over, I could rest. And they heard me exclaim as I drove out of sight, See you in five weeks Clarion, All right! Sharon Copper and Steve Ferringer 28 Long-legged log reindeer peer out of the Cardtowne window in hopes of be- ing purchased. Lights shining from the courthouse send messages of peace and goodwill. Glowing downtown Clarion is graced with mild yuletide weather. Kevin P. Spark

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Bills that go bump in the night When was the last time an important piece of paper, that was on your desk just moments ago, disappeared? In recent years, a conclusive study has shown that the Document Trolls steal these items and hide them from sight until they are no longer deemed important. Document Trolls aren 7 the only critters to haunt hu- man existence. Little demons that live in alarm clocks switch the 7:45 AM alarm to the 7:45 PM alarm, enabling a person to sleep through classes yet be awake in time for The Cosby Show. These nasty demons are known as P.T.B. ' s — Prime Time Bandits. Also hindering a rel atively problem free life are the little invisible gnomes that thrive in washers and dryers. Their diets consist of one. just one though, of your favorite socks. By far the biggest threat to college stu- dents on this campus are the minute crea- tures in the computers and files of the Financial Aid Office. These menaces make it next to impossible to receive an- swers to simple questions, to gain access to your personal files, and also are re- sponsible for rewriting the instruction books in a language other than English. Years ago it was believed that the em- ployees, being underpaid and bored with their jobs, made the Financial Aid Office impossible. A Her a conclusive study, it is now believed that the employees have no more control over this situation than the students who call asking the questions concerning the applications. A new the- ory concerning the creatures is in the working, and scientists are looking for new leads. Anyone with any information about the creatures slowing down the Fi- nancial Aid Office, please contact the re- search group studying the mad scientist who invented the computer which can read only number two lead pencils on the fill-in-the-dots tests. Thank You. -Tammy McCracken 30 Financial Aid Jack Snyder, Fiscal Assistant, helps to keep things running smoothly for all students receiving financial aid. From these advertisements it seems hard not o be receiving aid from one source or another Apparently, this student finds dealing with Financial Aid just too much j 4 f m 11 £ ' | Kevin P Spark