Citizens Military Training Camp - Full Pack Yearbook (Fort Leavenworth, KS)

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.PGQIU Llx' AW HECK! Or The Discovery of Arkansas Bill Being a tragedy in one act. By Art L. Wallhausen Time: Night of August I3 just before tattoo. Place: Tent X, Company HF , CIVITC. CAST OF CHARACTERS, Arkansas Bill Hurley Jarnagan ACT I Note: QOur tragedy takes place in the hbrightly lighted interior of Tent X+Com- pany F -which is lighted by a 25 watt incadesent, the rnoon's only rival. The characters are sprawled lazily on their bunksb. W Ark. Bill-Hurley, did I ever tell you about Sleeping Beauty's new blunder when he-QAt this point our hero is interrupted by the vicious jab of a hungry Kansas mosquitoj Hurley-Well, proceed, continue, what's up with Sleeping Beau-Ouch!-Say, turn off that light. Ark. Bill-Aw right, but you're so bright it won't do no good anyhow. Pk Pk Pk FI4 PF Denotes the passing of time. The light is out. Silence reigns in the besieged tent. The mosquitoes are happy and are singing at their work. S Ark. Bill CIn alarmj-Hurley!! WAKE UP! C Hurley-Aw dry up-what d'you want, Fizzy? . Ark. Bill-It'S them Cdeleted by the censorl mosquitoes. I 'I-Iurley-Well, pull down your net- PULL DOWN YOUR NET! QAfter this brief interruption silence once more induces peaceful repose. In the mean- time a number of fire flies make their ap- pearance at the tent doorj. WQFACKQQQ Ark. Bill QIn upright positionj-Aw heck, what'S the use! Here they come again bringing lanterns with them. SUGGESTIONS EOR THE BETTER- MENT or THE CMTC CAMPS I. For the benefit of the c'Rudolph Vaselinon type of student who will insist upon wearing his hair as long as Big Sister's, pink combs will be provided. 2. No camp shall be held where there are hills, ants, mosquitoes or flies. 3. Plush seats will'be provided for all lectures and movies. 4. The Camp Exchange will be built twice the ordinary size. - 5. Reveille will be at 9 a. m. 6. Swimming will be substituted for drill periods. 7. The milk periods. shall not be abol- ished. 8. Dances shall be held every night. 9. Students will not be used on any fatigue detail what-so-ever. IO. Midnight lunches will be served. f ' L! Q J PLN. WWF? :X , y Il i!-i ,,.. 44 Q 'T ir! ' mai, 1. k Qi!!! gilziilll W.. xii, ,. .'.- TT-I 'Qi' E ' T M f '74 my Page One Hundred Eight 'Viz W, .Ly

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-ZGQIU I.I.QflDAC'K 99 Adventures of a Rookie BY ARTHUR WALLHAUSEN, Company F -and just as I turned over for another minute's peaceful slumber, my pal in the next cot yelled out f'I've lost my butter checks. Now I didn't know a butter check from any other kind of check but I volunteered to get another. Well, I went to the corporal and he seemed to have trouble with his eyes. One of them kept on shutting and opening right smart. He told me that he just gave the last one to a fellow in Company KF . Now, I didn't know anybody there what had one, but since there is only ISO men in a, company, I thought it wouldn't be hard to find the one what had the butter checks. I finally found a fellow who said that he just turned his into General Orders. In the army it's pretty hard to even find a fellow's picture, and 'specially of one whom you've never seen. So I just stopped looking for the General. We got butter anyhow. When I got back to my company a fellow asked me where was my leggin' clamps and reveille buttons. I told him I guessed they gave 'em out while I was tryin' to find General Orders. So I went to the orderly tent and asked for the said equipment. The guy in charge looked kind of funny and then he swallowed his chewing gum. He must have been thinkin' of a good joke. When he got through chokin' on the gum the funny part left, and he helped me out of the tent with no shock absorbers included. He shore ain't no gentleman for how am I going to be a good soldier without no equip- ment? , Somebody has always got to mind your business. Our tent sargent was raising the dickens because they forgot to put skyhooks on our tent. I looked in the locker but there wasn't any there, either. This P. M. they came near not having a parade. The major lost the key to the parade grounds. You. don't have to believe it-that's what our sargent said. An' then they run out of Hag-pole oil. Since I am in my countrie's service, I went away down to Leavenworth after some. But they were just out when I got there. However, I happened to remember that our Shooting Sargent said he was out of Skirmish Line and Bayonet Ammunition so I went to both Army stores, but, the 17th Infantry had just bought all they had. I guess maybe we can get along without it for a coupla days. On the way back to camp I met Shorty Che's in Company F , tool. He was all downhearted. He's been trying to find a cot-shrinker. His'n is too long. He sure is dumb. He don't know that they been pulling the wool over his eyes. But I never told him no different, no sir, I'm too smart. You never can tell what Faith will throw in your path. I got as far as the rear path into the camp, and there was a crazy looking contraption which I picked up. It looks like a cross between an ordinary skillet and a bread pan, only this is Hat on two ends and round on two others. I was afeared to shake it for it might be some of Battery f'K's7' ammunition what they lost. So I buried it. V o A Regular done told me what the peculiar thing was what I found. He called it a mess- kit. But he said the main-spring out of the lock was gone. So I gave it back to him. I don't want no equipment that ain't complete. ' I Last night it rained so we had to furl tents this A. M. We got ours down alright, but some of the gang said that we had to have a tent-pole-jack to get the pole straight again. This Army life is just like love. Itis just one darn thing after another. , I think they ought to detail a squad to kill mosquitoes every night. Yesterday one got into the kitchen and the cook killed, dressed, and fried it like a chicken. They ought to buy a bottle of mosquito bait. I overheard somebody in the YU tellin' about it. I hope I can get some before it is all gone. I'm gonna help this Exchange. I'm gonna send for a sawdust pump. I thinkI can get one from our butcher at home. Now rookies, keep your eyes and ears open. A word to the unwise is-wasted. Page One Hundred Seven

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.ZQQIULLQ MY GENERAL ORDERS ARE BY EDWARD SCHULTZ To take charge of these spuds and all gravy in view. To watch my plate in a military manner, keeping always on the alertf-for any stray sausage that comes within sight or hearing. To report to Mess Sergeant any bread sliced too thin. To quit the table only when satisfied- that there is nothing left. To receive, but not pass on to the man next to me, any meat, cabbage or beans left by the non-coms, buck privates, or cooks. To talk to no one who asks for onions. In case of fire in the mess hall to grab all eatables left by others in their escape. In any case not covered by instructions to call in the company clerk. To allow no one to steal anything in the line of grub. ' To salute all chicken, pork chops, beef steak, ham and eggs, and liver. To be especially watchful during the time of eating, and challenge anyone who gets one more prune than myself. Officer-'fAre you willing to drill? Cadet- Certainly, sir. I am willing to train every day except the week days and I would like to have a few Sundays ofl'.'7 Sgt.-c'Right shoulder h-arms, present h-arms, port h-arms, order h-arms. Cadet, throwing piece to the ground- Say there, why the deuce don't you hurry up and make up your mind as to what you want done. I can't do them all. Plat. Sgt.-c'Corporal, report the ab- senteesf' Cpl.-fcPrivate Septer sick. Plat. Sgt.- Is he sick in the tent ? Cpl., absent mindedly-UNO, he is sick in the stomach. To the man who was wandering around with the 4'P's l when the Company was falling in alphabetical order- I-Iey, there, what's your name ?7' 'fPhillips.7' fcWell, get to hell up there in the F's. ,QFAC KH99 Oflicer- Where is No Man7s Land?,' Private- The other side of an old maid,s bed. - Top-Kick to Cadet- You can't go in there. Cadet- Why not? Sgt.-c'Because that is the general's tent. Cadet- Well, then, why is the sign PRIVATE over the front? f'I,m just a little stiff from drilling. Where did you say you were from? Cadet from Troop UI - Say Sam, what does the U. S. on these mules' hips stand for? Colored Stable Sergeant-'cUnsafe, Sah, unsafe. - ' Lieutenant- Now, when you stand at attention you should stand perfectly still. Don't move a muscle. I-Iarry Sellers-4'Say, Lieutenant, if a ily. gets on my ear, can't I even wiggle him off? Dorsey Cheek, at Retreat, after hearing the Star Spangled Banner - Say, Sarg., what is that tune? It ,seems to me that I've heard it some place before. Arkansan-'4What do they call young cats in Kansas ?7' Sgt. Kernan- I don't know, what? Arkansan- Why, kittens, of course. Arkansanto Missourian-f'What is Mis- souri most noted for? Missourian-ccMules.7' ' Arkansan-HI thought so by their voice. Johnson, Co. NA - I-Iey cut out the funny stuff. You are the biggest donkey in this company. ISK Sgt. Henson- Hold on there. You forget that I'm here. We wonder why it is that Lieut. Kelso is called Wu Fang ? I Page One Hundred Nine QW' .- ,J- Q