Cissna High School - Review Yearbook (Cissna Park, IL)

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OKES THE CARDINAL Marjorie Bauer: Do you use tooth paste? Hazel S: No. None of my teeth are loose! Gi How old are you, sonny ? asked the inquisitive old man of the little boy on the beach. Six, came the reply. Six, echoed the old man, and you are not as tall as my um- brella. How old is your umbrella? asked the boy. Binks- I was reading the paper about finding a collar button in a cow's stomach. Skinks- Nonsense-how could a cow get into a bedroom and crawl under the dresser? Mary Ellen: I want a chicken. Farmer: Do you want a pullet? Mary Ellen: Heavens, no! I'll carry it. I'm all out of sorts: the doctor said the only way to cure my rheumatism was to stay away from all dampnessf' What's so tough about that ? You don't know how silly it makes me feel to sit in any emp- ty bathtub and go over myself with a vacuum cleaner. Gilbert: Yes, sir, I'm the fastest man in the world. Mr. Trask: How come? Gilbert: Time flies, doesn't it? Well, I beat time. Silas: What's that I hear, Hiram, about your hired man falling off the roof when he was shingling the barn last week ? Hiram: Yeh. He fell into a barrel of turpentinef' Silas: Did it hurt him much ? Hiram: Don't know. They ain't caught him yet. Mr. Anderson: The law of gravity is what keeps us on earth. Loren H: How did we stick on be- fore the law was passed. Miss Mosiman: What are you drawing? Wayne N: A dog. ' Miss Mosiman: A dog? Where is its tail? Wayne: It's still in the inkwell. Mumie, cried small Mollie, look at that funny man across the street. What's he doing dear He's sitting on the sidewalk talk- ing to a banana skin. Mr. Doenier: Can you give me an example of wasted energy Bud F.: Yes, sir-telling a hair- raising story to a bald-headed man, Steve: Dad you are a lucky man! Father: How is that? Steve: You won't have to buy me any school books this year. I'm taking all of last year's work over again.

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A fly was walking with her daugh- ter on the head of a man who was very bald. How things change, my dear! she said. When I was your age this was only a footpath. Where is Johnny this afternoon ? If he knows as much about canoes as he thinks he does, he is out canoeing, but if he doesn't know any more about it than I think he does, he's swimming. A peddler used the following as his opening statement, -I am scratching for a living. Sorry, I don't itch, said the housewife as she slammed the door in his face. Optimists are people who cast their bread upon the waters and expect it to return split with a hot dog between the halves. Sandy Jr.: Dad, give me a dime. Sandy: Not today, my son, R-run alon'. Sandy Jr.: Dad, if you'll give me a dime, I'll tell you what the ice- man said to mamma this morn- lnglns Sandy: Her-re, tell me quickly- wht di' he say? Sandy Jr.: He said, 'Any ice to- day, lady ? Buck: for How come you -don't care girls ? John S.: Oh, they're too biased. Buck: Biased? John: Yes biased. It's bias this and bias that till I'm flat broke. JOKES In the game it's grit. In spinach it's terrible. Wally: Who was that peach I saw you with last night ? Ray S.: Peach! That was a fruit compotef' Wally: Huh? Ray S.: She acted sour as a lem- on: she was slippery as aban- ana, and when I squeezed her she hit me in the eye like a grapefruit. The doctor and the young nurse were having a short consultation regarding a patient. 'iYes doctor, said the nurse, I took his temperature with the thermometer and it's gone right down. That's good, replied the doctor. It's a sign he's getting better. The nurse looked appealingly at the medical man. Oh doctor, are you quite sure ? she said. He's swallowed it. Sunday School Teacher: Little boys and girls, what kind of children go to heaven? Pupil: I know, teacher. Dead ones. Minister fat baptism of babyiz His name, please ? Proud mother: Randolph Morgan Montgomery Alfred Van Chris- topher Jones. Minister fto assistantlz A little more water, please. Mother, isn't it one o'clock yet? Isn't it time for lunch ? No, not yet, dear. . H'm, I guess my tummy must be running fast. 6. K4

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