Cincinnati Conservatory of Music - Pans Pipers Yearbook (Cincinnati, OH)

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SATIRE It takes a brave man to be a burglar, for he never knows when some woman will mistake him for her husband and shoot. SUCCESS. The power which expands the hat band in youth and the waist band in middle age. A suggested title for a song is Since Dad 'has joined the Klan, the house is short of bed linen . The professor in Greek receives about $3,000.00 per year and the football coach about $12,000.00, but no one ever heard of fifty thousand people going wild over a Greek recitation, proving that noise de- mands a high figure. tWe suggest Pischnay If you insist upon patronizing a jazz restaurant, you must expect them to charge for the jazz in the price of their food. Enthusiasm is that temper of a mind in which the imagination has got the better of the judgment. Tipping is the habit of paying for the privilege of obtaining that for which you are going to pay. We Would know better whether a woman could keep a secret or not if some woman would only try. Some women are so modest that they will not wear calico because theyhate to see themselves in print. Page 182

Page 187 text:

.5 . ' c ,4 L S. A. I. SONGS hCONTlNUEDJ hTunewHe's a New Kind of Mam He's a good kind of man with a good kind of way to teach And we all agree when we say that hehs a peach When Mr. Spach counts 1-2-3 We sing out do-re-mi. When you see him beat time You know solfege is his line. I nearly faint when he says I gotta. sing a scale. When I'm unprepared he calls on me without fail. When he looks cross at me I can't tell re from 5i. , He's a mighty good sort and he's the teacher for me. E I L I P hTunewCharlie', My 3030 Oh! Doctor dear, 011 Auburn Hall Sheik, You thrill me, you chill me, you cannot be beat. Youhve got that kinda sorta bit of a way That makes me, quakes me, tells me what I shall play. And when you yell, I do not rebel At pages and pages of Chopin and Brahms. They tell me Paderewski is some player too, But say he should have taken lessons from you Artist you are-you shine like a stathr. Liszniewski. hTunewOld Oaken BuckefJ How dear to our hearts is Madame Liszniewska, Dear artist whose heart is as great as her fame, She gives inspiration to all those about her And ali who know her honor her name. Students and teachers, the public that hears her Admires when she plays or whate'er she may do. Our patroness, teacher, our friend and admirer, We're here to pay our deepest homage to .you. Page 131

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-v- --w:-- r-w-r IWW-vv-v SATIRE tCONTINUEDh In teaching the rising generation the history of Ruth, the gleaner, it is important to dissociate the young mind from Ruth of home-run fame. Don't complain so much about the new baby cry- ing. Suppose all of your teeth were out, you had no hair and your legs were so weak you could not stand upon them. You'd probably howl, too. Small boy, to his fatherettDad, did they have automobiles in the Bible? ttNo, my son, why? Well, in Sunday School today, this is the song we sang: If we are good, when we die, God will take us up on high . .If you respect your neighborts opinion, buy a new car just before you move. Even the schools of fish are not as well attended as formerly. It is about as bad to be throwu down by a friend as to be held up by a stranger. We would rather know Whatts What than ths Who . As we become more accostomed to the radical, we make the error of believmg that we are getting more conservative. If the Bible is correct and Eve made a monkey of Adam, then where does the theory of evolution con- tradict the Bible? Chairman tat K. K. K. meetingyeAnd now, gentlemen, please be sheeted.