Christopher Columbus High School - Anchor Yearbook (Bronx, NY)

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TESTS l suppose fhaf all sfudenfs would agree wifh me fhaf school could be almosf folerafed, if if were nof for one fhing-fesfs. Alfhough fhey may be concealed under many pseudonyms, fesfs are sfill fesfs. A newcomer fo fhe experience of being fesfed may be fooled by fhaf quainf colloquial- ism,-quiz, buf any shrewd veferan knows fhaf fhis refers fo a fesf of fiffy 'fo one- hundred shorf answers. Anofher favorife of our feachers is fhe nof-a-full-period fesf. This fesf can be complefed in fhirfy-nine minufes by working af fop speed. There are many variefies of fesfs and mosf sfudenfs become acquainfed wifh all of fhem. The mosf abominafed of fhese variefies is fhe slip fesf, somefimes called surprise fesf or more commonly referred fo by fhe sfudenfs as a sneak fest This exam comes af fhe beginning of fhe period and usually covers fhe previous day's work or homework. The difficulf fhing abouf fhis fesf is fhaf fhey counf . Second on our lisf of defesfables is fhe oral fesf. This fesf is presenfed fo fhe class in fhe 'form of an explosion. ln fhis way an angry feacher expends energy by quiuing fhe sfudenfs quickly and af random. These fesfs are unexpecfed and, fhank goodness, rare. By far, fhe mosf baffling of all fesfs are language comprehension exams. The feacher will read an anecdofe which he finds hilariously funny. The class, which hasn'f undersfood a word he said, will sif and look ridiculously sfupid. Even fhe few who do undersfand never fhink fhe sfory is funny. By fhe fhird or fourfh of fhese fesfs, however, fhe class is frained fo laugh af fhe righf momenf, and fhe feacher is very happy wifh The sifuafion. The end-ferm exam offers some problems fo many sfudenfs. These, of course, are af scheduled fimes, and af leasf relieve fhe boredom of regular classes. These can easily be beafen, since fhe compilers of fhem seem fo have run ouf of quesfions, and repeaf fhem from ferm fo ferm. fCopies are available af a pricell Q Tyh :X Q O f W 1 Q Z xiii Q-mm 2 42: The mosf inferesfing phase of fesfing occurs in fhe Regenfs rooms. The Regenfs is fhe granddaddy of all fesfs. fYou can always recognize Regenfs fime by red eyes and big elecfric billsl. When fhe big day finally arrives, fhe anxious scholars are seen con- gregafing silenfly in fhe corridors. Among fhese, fwo classes predominafe. The 'firsf consisfs of fhe ninefy-nine per cenf sfudenfs who are ferribly worried fhaf 'rhey mighf forgef somefhing. The second is made up of fhe confidenf sixfy-five sfudenf, who will proudly sfafe: l sfudied a whole fwo hours lasf nighf. The Regenfs is one long signafure. Once in fhe room we are seafed four seafs from our nearesf neighbor. Then we sign a card affirming our honesfy. Affer a very shorf falk lwhich seems fo fake abouf fwo hoursl delivered by fhe principal, on fhe im- porfance of honesfy, fhe fesf begins. For fhree grueling hours fhere is no noise, moving or breafhingg iusf wrifing. We sign a card affirming our honesfy. Affer 'fhe ordeal is over, we furn in our papers, and sign anofher declarafion affirming our honesfy. One can readily deduce from fhe above fhaf fhe Regenfs is conducfed on 'fhe basis of fhe honor sysfem. A new form of forfure, of course, is fhe scholarship exam or fhe college enfrance boards. Forfunafely, fhese are easy fo avoid. Jusf decide fo go fo work! Gosh! Look af fhaf clock! l'd really like fo say so much more, buf l'm sure you'il undersfand. I have fo sfudy for a fesf. Valerie Carone HELEN :'i:sAAcSofv

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CLOSE SHAVE GDEIWN 4 I .i-..- One oT our Teachers, a bookish genTIeman, whom I shall call Mr. X, has a mus- Tache which he has noT shaved oTT since he TirsT grew iT, TwenTy years ago. This year, he almosT IosT his prized possession. IT seems ThaT, like Don QuixoTe, Too much reading had gone To his head, so ThaT he goT The sTrange idea ThaT The riTIe Team did noT have a good chance To win The ciTy championship. AT The beginning oT The season Therefore, he announced ThaT if The Team won The championship he would shave oTF his beloved musTache and also geT a Mohawk haircuT. As The season progressed, Mr. X became more and more worried. If The Team conTinued iTs experT shooTing, iT was evidenT ThaT The musTache mighT go and so mighT The hair. When The Team won The Bronx-ManhaTTan championship, every brisTIe in Mr. X's musTache drooped in despair. On The day oT The championship maTch, The Team members Tiled in To The anTe- room and picked up Their rifles, happily anTicipaTing vicTory. The gloom on Mr. X's Tace seemed deeper Than ever. The riTIemen proceeded To The range To shooT. As each Tired, a puzzled expression appeared on his Tace. SomeThing was wrong. The buIIeTs wenT everywhere excepT Towards The TargeT. Each shoT was eiTher Tar Too high or Too Iow. Even when The sighTs were adiusTed, The buIIeTs kepT going all over The place. No one could undersTand whaT was wrong. Finally, one oT The bewildered Team members Took The boIT ouT oT The rifle and looked up The barrel. When he saw whaT was There, he exciTedIy showed iT To The oTher members of The Team. Everyone really goT mad! Someone had poured library glue down The muzzles oT The riTIesI Mr. X was immediaTeIy suspecTed. The members oT The Team were seT To pull ouT his musTache, hair by hair, and use Them as cieaning rods To clean ouT The riTIes. How- ever, Mr. X had disappeared. No one could Tind him. By This Time, of course, The oTher Teams had a big lead. You can guess The resT. The Team IosTI The Team had iTs revenge, Though. When Mr. X reappeared, The shock oT almosT losing his hair and musTache had Turned Them boTh compleTely grey. Donald Minervini Up, ' woE TO us: Sophomore, Junior, Senior lend me your ears We come To bury Freshman noT To praise him. The evil ThaT Freshmen do Iive on in These halls The good is oTT hidden in Their permanenT records. So IeT iT be wiTh Freshman. The noble Senior I-IaTh Told you, Freshman was ambiTious To enTer here, IT iT were so iT was a grievous TauIT, And grievously haTh Freshman answered iT. x , f Here under leave oT The Seniors and The principal For The Senior class is an honorable class. So are They all, honorable classes Come I To speak in Freshman's Tuneral He was our guiding lighT, dumb buT iusT To us M Willa' X-,Q 'ew' Q55 I 1.2 gl x? X 1- e f 'TS' ' x 5 Iii ' BuT senior says he was ambiTious And Seniors are an honorable class. They have come here To Columbus And Their TiTTy cenTs filled The pockeTs oT The 6.0. Did This in Freshman seem ambiTious? J When a Senior had chalk, Freshman was a blackboard AmbiTion should be made oT sTerner sTuTT YeT Senior says he was ambiTious I Thrice presenTed him wiTh promoTion Which he did Thrice reTuse Was This ambiTion? YeT The Senior says he was ambiTious And The Senior class is an honorable class. I speak noT To disprove whaT The Senior says, You all did see on The audiTorium sTage BuT I speak only whaT you do know. You all did Iove The IiTTIe angel once, I I Why noT mourn Tor him now. My hearT is in The new Junior High School wiTh Freshman And I musT pause TiII he comes back To Columbus. .cw ll, T' I l I il.- 1 5- 'gt bi Ti , WS. 'll Norman Feldherr l lll

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