Christian Brothers Academy - Purple and Gold Yearbook (Syracuse, NY)

Page 33 text:

PURPLE AND GOLD Page 31 was well nigh groggy. At that critical point Matty, who was still a slave to the plug, turned his head to spit, since then Matty has eschewed the chew. Ye coming generations, take warning, when your basketball mentor tells you to cut out the smoke, don't hesitate, but don't hire a cuspi- dor as Artie has done UVhere did he get it?j but fall back upon the innocent pepsin or invest in a bag of peanuts. Enough satisfaction in that until le frere catches you and tells you not to chew during class except at examination times, then it will help the flow of thought and put you on easy street. Aye, Aye, quoth our next speaker, Mac, from Jordan. Mac was with us but a year, but he was a true C. B. A. boy from the start. In football, basketball, and baseball he did his bit. jordan is a little place but it begets big things. Mac is a sample. When Mac arose to speak we listened with interest to his story. He took an in- terest in flying QWho would not, who comes from Jordan Pj and attained a high position in the U. S. aviation corps. Against innumerable obstacles he had placed the U. S. in the lead in aviation. As a climax to his career he headed an expedition to the South Pole. After securing valuable in- formation for the U. S. Government he stood the stress of three winters in hitherto unknown lands in the Antarctic regions before his advent to civilization. My present plan, he told us, is to connect the world's great cities by airplane. Your ideas, Johnnie, are all enduring, may they be accomplished. Were Chief Cadin to know of the hidden gems in the C. B. A. he would be delighted. The elon- gated, attenuated figure of Long john Murphy was the cynosure for the next few moments. He told us how he, Zuke and Stapleton had founded a famous detective agency. The incident that brought this about was in- significant. One night when they were at Mur- phy's house the lights went out. On looking out of the window they discovered that the lights in the other houses were burning. After a lapse of a half hour, one of the three had a brilliant idea. Perhaps, said he, the fuse has blown. All three proceeded cautiously to the darkened cellar and replaced the blown fuse. Sure enough, the lights went on again. Concluding they were great sleuths as a result of this discovery, they launched out as private detectives. If they claim such powers as Sherlock Holmes, can theyferret out the one who ate the peanuts on the Brother's desk on the afternoon of january 12, 1926? Solve that and your fame is established. From the mystic realms of solving the mys- teries of the underworld we ascend to the sublime precincts of the professor's chair from which Spike Reddy spoke to us. Immaculately at- timed, he launched off into a dissertation on the present system of education. Hoppy and Fetch disagreed, but Del felt that a prophet had arisen. Spike argued for more music and sewing, but from the chorus of disapproval he felt his cause was lost, altho he quoted frequently from his latest work The XVhichness of NVhat and W'hy. When Spike had subsided, Bunny Hamel arose to tell, us of his life-struggle with corpulency. As a young man he had taken on avoirdupois to his discomfiture and decided to adopt means to remain gracefully slender. To aid others sim- ilarly afflicted with Hatulency, he started a beauty parlor with reducing as a specialty. Despite his strenuous advice to his patrons, he could not re- sist his noodle soup and sauerkraut. The result was that he became the corpulent specimen that he is. However, Ox is a happy character, bubbling over with good nature and optimism. He has given up being a beauty doctor. The remainder of our class could not come to our reunion g but tho absent, they were not for- gotten or unsung. jeff told us of joe Byrne who went into partnership with France Maloney in the huckster business and because of their popu-

Page 32 text:

Page 30 PURPLE AND GOLD many of the boys as possible and have them on hand one month from that night. VVe were all delighted with the idea and prom- ised to be on hand. VVe parted for the night, happy as could be over the anticipated renewal of the friendships of schooldays. At last the happy night was on hand. Just picture the scene of reunion in the Don's home. Much to my chagrin I missed the first part of the evening but made up for it later. As toast- master I could readily get from each of the class present what all wanted to know. I called on Jumbo Boland who had taken up engineering and had become a successful subway man in 1945, when Syracuse built its first under- ground railroad to Liverpool. Frannie Shields, whom I next called upon had had a more romantic career. As a Marine he had seen service all over the world and had lost a leg in a skirmish with the Hottentots. Now he lives on Uncle Sam, enjoying a liberal pension, half of which goes to help the scientific ideas of Professor Del Delaney, who had been working for over twenty-five years on a scheme that will put millions yearly into the pockets of our much- abused farmers. Del explained all about his idea to the banqueters and with a glorious gesture of triumph he held up an egg and dropped it on the table near McLaughlin, and with a loud exclama- tion, Eureka! I have it! showed us the effects of a solution of his own concoction to make egg- shells like rubber. With vigor Shields thumped approval with his wooden stump. Del was supremely happy. Philly Creamer next charmed us with his ver- satile English and his you know account of Dame Fortune's kindness to him. Several years after his graduation, he told us, he fell heir to a considerable fortune left to him by a rich uncle on condition that he live in England for ten years. Philly sailed for England, feeling like a Lord even before he lost sight of Miss Liberty in New York bay. Despite his intense Amer- icanism, our dear boy could not but be innocu- lated with some of the mannerisms of the high class of society into which his sudden acquisition of wealth had thrown him. Vtlhen our friend Philly returned to his beloved U. S. he bore traces of his stay abroad-he dropped his h's very gracefully, wore a monacle and cultivated an exquisitely divine moustache, an adornment that made him the envy of many an Adonis. Philly later became a realtor and did his share in building up the beautiful addition to Syracuse, Onondaga Valley. Philly had gone east. Our next speaker, Shelly, arose to tell us in his usually fluent manner how he had gone west to take up cowpunching. No wonder he took so much room at the table ! His knees could never meet, and with the breezy air of the typical Westerner he demanded freedom of space, with the result that the end of the table was his camp- ing ground. Shelly had bought a ranch and be- came a power in the livestock market. Shelly never told us how he mastered the art of rolling bones to the discomiiture of many of his class- mates. Now he is doing it on a large scale. VV'e of 1926 do not forget the Arena. This was the favorite haunt of our next speaker. We always liked to see Johnnie Mara take the floor when we wanted someone to kill time. Tonight he eclipsed all records and added to the fun of the evening. Johnnie it seems had started as a sport writerg but after several violent disputes as to the wisdom of his choice for All-American teams, he quit and gave his attention to develop- ing the pugilistic career of Fetch Costello. Fetch engaged John R. as his manager, and Johnnie, after long negotiations, succeeded in signing Fetch as party number one in a bout with the then Welterweight champion. The momen- tous hour arrived. Matty had the best of the fight until the sixth round when the champion

Page 34 text:

Page 32 PURPLE AND GOLD larity and snappy business methods became lead- ers in their adopted city, Sawtooth, Michigan. One evening Ben Weiss told us that he received a call from two gentlemen. VVhen Ben saw their names on their card, Gooley Sz Ryan, Under- takers, he danced a highland fling and lost no time in getting from his easy chair to the lobby of the theatre. Phil blushed redder than ever and Gooley in his most Winsome manner greeted their old pal. The rest of the evening was spent in speaking of school days and the years follow- ing. Gooley finished his college course at Man- hattan with Red and learning that over 100,000 people died every day he concluded that he and Phil should make capital of this wholesale dis- appearance and wax fat in purse on the attempts of such poor fools in getting away from life. Ask Gobley or Ryan why their choice of such a sad occupation and either will say he got the idea from Macbeth. By the way, said Phil to Ben, did you ever hear of Kortright since he graduated ? Kortright! You mean the chap from Ca- millus? Oh, he went to Africa. From his child- hood he felt that he would make aigood lion tamer because he found the farm mule so easy if 1 If 'ia X g..5l.z'ii9' to handle. He gave such a glowing account of the sport to a few of his pals, that Leo, Hunt and Burns decided to cast their lot with him and go abroadm and V-emulate the deeds of 'Teddy' Roosevelt, ,They contracted to supply a circus with maneatingilions. VVhile they were in Africa, a chief of the pigmy tribe took a fancy to 'Ritchie' and adopted him into his tribe, married him to his daughter and made him the medicine man. After a few years 'Boots' returned with his catch to the States. As none of the trio had ever seen a wild animal except in picture books or in the Burnet Park Zoo, they had captured a few tigers and did not know their mistake until they delivered them to the circus. Boots was broken-hearted and his two fellow hunters gave him the laugh. lk :if Pi? Tk PF W'ell, they are all anchored! Let us hope that Dame Fortune will treat them all kindly and when we all meet in 1951 we shall listen to stories and doings to outrival the dreams of the most opti- mistic of prophets. All for C. B. A. and C. B. A. for all. ROBERT C. PALTZ, Prophet. ni