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Page 31 text:
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She uses Sir Jon's music in treatment of cases, and also uses her own piano recording of Nut House, Here I come.' This has the effect of scaring all her patients so badly that they are afraid to get com- plexes and all of those things. We shall call for a speech shortly from the honorable Richard Johnson, now mayor of the fast-grow- ing metropolis of Bynum. We are sure he will have a few words of wisdom for us. (Mainly on how he made his million, we hope.) Ginger Linder, still as fickle as ever, has made noteworthy news recently by typing 300 words per minute for the head of the newly formed office of Saturn, Inc. She has also earned the title of Miss Secretary of the Year by placing at the top of a list of thousands of interplanetary contestants. That play-boy, Dennis Knaff, has finally settled down. He is now head of the department of re- search for Dow Chemical Co. and has made many earth-shaking discoveries in the wide-open field of chemical research. The former Joanne Meadows is now the head of the Dale Carnegie Corp. in all the United States and also its branches in foreign countries. She recently made headlines by performing a filibuster which lasted for fifty-one hours, fifty-nine minutes, and fifty-nine seconds. Steve Koch has also made news with his recent climb of the newly discovered mountain in Potsyl- vania. This mountain was hidden under the debris left by the Inaugural Ball of 1961. Keep up the good work, Steve. You'll never guess who is now employed as chief juvenile officer in Choteau. Anyway, it is none other than Darrell (Buck) Lowrance. His policy of Spois the rod and Spare the child works very well indeed. At any rate, he is this year's most popular juvenile officer. Our very talented musician, known to us as Suzanne Perkins, now budgets her time between taking care of her family at home and giving piano concerts in the new Carnegie Hall. She too will appear on our evening program with a few piano concertos. After such a delicious dinner, it would certainly do to tell you from where it came. It was catered, free, from the C R Drive Inn by none other than Connie and Rita. (Formerly Poore and Ramaker, respectively.) It was delicious, ladies. Rich Wilson, our most eligible bachelor, is still up in Alaska with Pinnell and Talifson. He enjoys living comfortably in his luxurious shocking pink igloo. Howard Truchot, now test driver for Chevrolet's new Rocket Drive, which runs admirably well on solid fuel, just recently developed, made it here in record time, considering the difficulty he had on the way. Three of his four rocket engines burned out enroute. He enlisted the capable service of Gary Moon, now rich manager of Standard Service Stations Unlimited. We are also enjoying the company of the former Arleen Stott, who is now employed by the Easy- Open Can Opener Co., where she tests Easy-Open Can Openers. However, with the new zip-top cans we fear for the business future of her company. David Purkett, now sales manager of the Purkett Pack-It Plant, has made his million in the pack ing industry. His slogan is - Purkett'll Pick It and Pack It. Dick Moore is now testing mattresses in a big department store. He especially likes the King Size, firm, you know, the one with all the little men holding it up. So we see that Dick’s outstanding talent for snoozing has finally paid off. He sleepily tells us he misses his work. Harold Wood was telling us he just about didn't make it here tonight because he mislabeled some wires while working on a TV set. Although his hands are bandaged, he isn't having too much trouble getting the food to his mouth. Janet Moulton, and Wini Vail haven't reformed yet. Instead of skipping classes and cutting up with the teachers, they're selling people wooden cigars and Brooklyn bridges. Bud Pedersen, with his Mr. CHS award is now Mister Hollywood. He also had to fight quite a mob to be here, we're glad you made it. Bud! Darlene Yeager is busy with her little Cody Jim and Wild William tonight so she asked to be ex- cused. Stanley Perkins, is now in a circus side show. Stan is a trick artist with guns. He also trained a couple of his father's sheep ticks. Everybody likes this act. Rich Bachmeier, last but by no means least, has finally arrived. His cries of I made it, I made it, apply not only to his final arrival tonight, but earlier this morning he was notified of his highest army rank. He finally is a full-fledged Pfc. !
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Page 30 text:
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xofc iecef. The day is May 23, and the year 1961. The time is 8:00 pm. This scene takes place in the dining hall of the new, multi-million dollar Choteau High School. The main characters are the members of the 1961 graduating class. This could be called Reunion - 1971. As we look over the crowd, we see many dear and familiar faces. We see Mrs. L. Lemmon, the former Sharon Alzheimer, who is now spending her spare time en- gaged as secretary to Michael Anthony, secretary to John Bearsfoot Tipton, multimillionaire. The Lemmons have four lovely children who live with them at their plush home on Nob Hill. We also see Mr. Ken Arensmeyer, the distinguished authority on How to Farm With the Least Amount of Effort, and the author of the best-seller of the same title. Nearby, we also see Madame Eunice, known to us as Eunice Arensmeyer, who arrived a little late from Paris where she is the top fashion designer. Her fashions are widely known as Fashions of the Hour, in case you girls are interested. And there is Gary Armstrong, better known perhaps as Count Twinkle Toes, founder of the new and now internationally famous Twinkle Toes School of Dance, whose main course is in how to dance the Twinkle Toes, an old and charming dance brought back from a recent trip to Twinklenavia. Betty Kaye Baker tells us she is now married to a famous surgeon and spends most of her time in the operating room, (assisting him, of course.) She also modestly confesses that she records in her spare time. You may have heard her recent hit, Have Scalpel, Esther Mask - Will Operate. The former Joann Chalmers we are also happy to have with us tonight. She took precious time out from teaching her Happy Tots nursery school to be here. She specializes in teaching children of well- known government diplomats the proper methods of getting along together. Jim Crane, our '61 Class President has gone far in the business world. He has kept up his early-set tradition of starring in the spotlight. He is now successful ukelele-playing president of Space Enter- prises, Inc. Our own Ellen Hanson, now private secretary to the U.S. Ambassador in Turkey, had planned to be here tonight too, but a mix-up in rocket scheduling will find her arriving in Choteau just one day late. We were sorry to hear that Marion Bateman would be unable to come tonight. As you know, Ma- rion was always one to question, but we wonder if perhaps she hasn't gone too far. A physicist, she is experimenting with the atom. Split it? Fine. Put it back together? No. I'm sure we all join in hearty wish that she get well soon. Now, we see our only columnist a little farther down the table. It is none other than Dean Baker, whose column was just last week chosen as the Most-Read Column of 1971. It is entitled Dear Abner, just cuz he thought Dear Abby needed a little competition. Janice Baumgartner, now famous beautician, has just recently returned from Hollywood where she was in charge of all hair styles for the movie School Daze, a satire on those 'good old days' of 1961. She tells us that she had the most trouble keeping the peroxide strip in Yul Bryner's now-thinning hair. (He plays the part of one of the faculty members, of course.) Jim Connole has become the world's greatest big game hunter. Just recently Jim shot the biggest mouse Africa had to offer. The natives there have made Mr. onnole a hero for getting rid of the crea- ture that has been virtually terrifying the Ubangis. Bob Hanson, of Broadway fame after his discovery in the Senior Class Play, has turned to his original plans for working with the police department. He gets the biggest kick out of patrolling the Strip be- tween Choteau and Bynum. Because of the college built recently in that fair city, he now has more traffic offenders than he would care to admit. By the way, any of your children wanting an education there in the future may apply directly to Bynum Tech of which our own Horse, Le Roy Yeager is the famous, or infamous, whichever you prefer, coach of all sports activities. Also here, directly from Bermuda, is Dorothy Jensen, who runs the D-Bar-J racing stables there. Any bet on her horses we feel would be safe. We are not, however, encouraging gambling of any sort. After dinner tonight, we shall be entertained by Sir Jon's Philharmonic, which does wonders for the still popular rock 'n roll. By the way. Sir Jon (Huffman, of course) is establishing a new dance band which we feel sure will be ready to perform at our next reunion. Our only lady doctor, Mona Kay Larsen, is now professor of psychology at Princeton University.
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