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Page 25 text:
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May. 1930 THE CHINOOK BREEZE 23 they are at the head of an expedition to the South Pole. Good luck to them. (They walk across stage dressed in heavy sheepskin coats, overshoes, etc.) Eleanor McCaffrey, whom wre had all featured as an actress in Hollywood, married Leonard Listou instead, and is now living in Zurich. Her husband’s scotch nature has taught her and her family of nine, how to live comfortably on fifty cents a week. (Eleanor crosses stage, very poorly dressed and with Leonard beside her. A number of little children follow.) We were all greatly surprised to learn that Alice Overcast, after being disappointed in a love affair of her high school days, retired to a convent to spend the rest of her life there. (Crosses stage, looking old. haggard, and wear ing black and white costume.) Surely you have all heard of the famous Spanish Steppers of New York? They are none other than Sidney Riley and Margaret Morrison, who decided to unite forces and make known to the world at large, their unusual abilities. (Cress stage doing fantastic step.) Opal Overcast has developed the hobby of collecting tiger skins. She is going to Africa again next month, to secure several more hides. She bears many a scratch and scar of previous battles, but is still filled with as much vim and vigor as she ever had. (Opal crosses stage dressed in old clothes and carrying gun and spy glass.) Clara Baldwin has stayed on at Chinook and is a waitress at Andersen’s Bakery. (W lks across stage with a tray of dishes. When she gets to center, she drops them with a crash. Registers consternation.) The leader of the elite of society in Chicago we f und to be none other than Nina Sackett. Her brilliancy and quiet dignity has carried her far. (Comes in dressed as an exclusive society lady and leading a dog. Exaggerated dignity.) Grayce Peterson is the head nurse at the Deaconess hospital in St. Paul, and a very pleasing little nurse she makes, too. (Crosses stage, dressed as a nurse. Very brisk, dignified air.) Lcretta Phelan, a dean of the Normal College at Dillon, is very prim and staid. But nevertheless, she is a very good leader of the young ladies, and also a good instructor. (Loretta crosses the stage carrying three or four books in one hand and a small stick in the other hand.) We hear Katherine Holst has just finished editing one of her famous books—“A Thousand Ways to a Man’s Heart.” (Walks across stage proudly bearing a book in hand and smiling vampishly.) Isabel Griffin has decided to change her course from declamatory to toe dancing. She is making great progress along this line. (Dances across stage in costume.) An accomplished woman in Millinery is Mabel Bedell. If any of you wish to secure a perfect fit and style, stop at her shop and you will be sure to secure exactly what you want. (Crosses stage wearing an immense, befeathered hat and carrying as many hats as she can manage.) Ameretta Easbey is known as a very acrobatic trapeze performer. She now travels with the Ringling Brothers. (Turns a summer-sault on stage.) Evelyn Westbrook, one of the liveliest and peppiest girls in the class of 1930. is now living in a small New England town. After teaching so long as to receive a pension, she is now living in quiet spinsterhood. Evelyn Leonard has an established home for all stray dogs and cats. So far she has three hundred forty-eight dogs, and several hundred cats, all different types and colors. (Crosses stage carrying as many cats and leading as many dogs as she can manage.) Franklin Overcast is in Hollywood, where his pleasing personality makes him well liked by everyone. His fine tenor voice has also added to his great popularity. (Crosses stage, wearing silk top hat, carrying cane. etc. Sings loudly, off tune, and in great discord.) Hollister Reser. we learn, is a great painter. He has spent many years in Italy, Germany and Switzerland, getting at the basis cf his art. (Cresses stage wearing wig, smock and carrying painting paraphenalia.) As minister of the Norwegian Lutheran Church of Chinook. Montana, Monroe Tanberg is doing very nicely. He has a large congregation and is well liked by everyone. (Walks to center cf stage with a very dignified air and bows. W ars glasses and a dark suit.) Jimmy Staff carried Irene Turner off on an impetuous elopement, and they are now living on a ranch in the Bear Paw mountains. (Cross stage. Jimmy wearing old faded overalls and a dilapidated hat; Irene in gingham dress and straw hat.) Scotty Crawford has joined the troop of a pro-fessinal American bums, after gambling away his heritage of $10,000.00, left to him by a rich uncle in New York city. (Scotty crosses stage, dressed as a bum. carrying a stick with his clothes tied up in a red handkerchief etc..) Elmer Spring has a position on the Denver Post paper as a cartoonist known the world over. (Crosses stage with a large Tribune. Holds it off critically and gazes at it. etc.) “Falling for opposites” has been broken. The Olson twins. Oase and Hilga. have married the Ram-burg twins and are living happily in the suburbs of Chicago.) (They saunter across stage arm in arm and smiling happily.) Elmer Gesell, we have come to the conclusion is
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Page 24 text:
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22 THE CHINOOK BREEZE May. 1930 publicly our motives which urge us to leave old C. H. S. We hold these statements to be self-evident that all students are not treated alike; that students are punished by their teachers with certain unfailing tortures; that among these tortures are flunks, eighth periods, and instances of partiality. To secure our rights, a Student Council, obtaining its powers through the consent of the student body, has been instituted. Whenever, any teacher interferes with our desires or intentions, it is the duty of the Student Council to alter or nullify her commands, and to suggest other ideas that will promote our interests and happiness. Instructors, indeed, emphasize that long established rules should not be altered for trival and transient causes. Our past experiences have shown that we are more likely to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right ourselves by abolishing them. Such has been our patient sufferance for four years. Therefore, we now find it necessary to seek institutions of higher learning. The history of the past four years is a history of faculty encroachments, each edict tending more and more to establish absolute tyranny over us. To prove this, let facts be given to our sincere readers. Mr. Bowen refuses to let us speak in study hal. a punishment for unprepared lessons. Mrs. Zimmerman forbids gum-chewing in class unless the masticator supplies the whole class. Miss Baur forbids dancing after twelve o’clock for reasons unknown to us. Miss Brown insists on a thorough mastery of English, even including details, in order to prepare us for advanced school training and future vocations. Mr. Burney still repeats, “Now folks.—wonder what it means?” Mrs. Williams declares vocal training is a great asset in showing school spirit. Mr. Horn refuses to give definite assignments for those who wish to study. Mr. Bryan commands, “Put your work away.” Why? We have shop the next day. Mr. Zimmerman still believes mathematics to be essential. We find it to be a real burden. Miss Lund believes in the sayng. “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. ’ We’re too young to understand that principle. Mrs. Leonard urges that less paper be left on the floor. Seniors demand freedom of action Miss Raugust declares seniors are not privileged characters in the study hall. We object. We therefore, the seniors of the Chinook High School assembled, appealing to Mr. Burney, for the freedom of our intentions, do, in the name, and by the consent of the students of this class, publish, and declare that we ought to be free and independent citizens; that we are separated from Chinook high school, and that all connections are dissolved; and that as free and independent citizens, we have limited rights to chew gum, to talk when we wish, to dance after twelve, to forget all English details, and to do other acts and things which in- dependent citizens do. For the support of this declaration, we mutually pledge to each other cur lives, our fortunes, and our honors. CLASS SONG Our school days now are ended Yet we fondly linger here For sweet each joy that we have known ’Tis sad to part from comrades dear Our hearts will long recall each joy That binds us in friendship near For time can never more destroy The thot of memory burning clear Chorus Farewell, farewell to all We bid to all a sweet farewell (repeat) Teachers—comrades Oh gladly now we hail thee Dear friends of school day time The same old love will cherish As in our early prime As nature never changes Our hearts will remain the same And still cn friendships altar Will brightly burn loves flume. CLASS PROPHECY This is station C. H. S. broadcasting on a frequency cf twenty years after the graduation of C’30 at Chinook. Montana. We are pleased to announce to our radio fans that we have conducted an investigation as t: what has become of the wonderful class of C’30. Many and startling are our discoveries. First, Joe Sackett. the President of this class, has sh:wn many fine and superior manuverings. and has succeeded Bill Minnikin in the position of ..anitcr at the Blaine County Court House. (Joe cresses stage, dressed in old cl thes. and carrying a broom and dustpan. Whistles.) Margaret Lott, we hear is champion fat lady at the Barnum Bailey Circus. She is said to weigh 384 pounds and is gaining every day. (Margaret crosses stage, with pillows stuffed in her clothes to make her look monstrous.) Stella Monson and Ruth Maeirt. accomplishea violin and accordian players. They have been abroad for many years, and have reached the height of their talent. We are very proud of them. (Stella and Ruth play violin and accordian in great discord.) Billy Duke, it appears, is proprietor of a leading butcher shep in Havre and is carrying on a very flourishing business. He always was a good talker! (Billy walks across stage, with a white apron on and carrying a large knife.) Esther and Lillian Burns have been traveling all over the world in search of “thrills” and now
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Page 26 text:
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21 THE CHINOOK BREEZE May. 1930 a genuine boot-legger located near the Canadian border line, his outpost being Chinook. (Slouches across stage, dangling a bottle opener and a few bottles.) Station C. H. S. signing off at exactly 8:35 o’clock, mountain standard time. In a year from now we will be on the air again with news items of interest to the class of 1931. THE CLASS WILL Ladies and Gentlemen. Board of Education. Superintendent, Teachers and Friends: Upon behalf of my client, the Class of 1930, of Chinook High School, of the City of Chinook. State of Montana, U. S. A.. I have called you together upon this solemn and serious occasion, to listen to her last will and testament, and to receive from her dying hand the few gifts she has to bestow in her last moments. Cutting so rapidly loose from life and finding so many things of such gigantic proportions to be attended to before the end should come upon her. realizing at the same time that she had no longer any time left to spend in cultivation of her cwn virtues, she did. collectively and individually deem it best to distribute these virtues with her own hands to those friends to whose needs they seem best fitted. As a result of this announcement i wild scene took place amidst most frantic pleading and scrambling among her friends for this or that so long coveted glory: but she has tried to be just as well as generous and impartial, and distribute wisely unto those who will make the best use of such gifts as she has in her power to bestow, the talents that have served her so faithfully these four years. These are her decisions, as at last definitely arrived at through very deliberate consideration. Owing to the flighty condition of her brain and th« unusual disturbance in its gray matter, she begs me to state for her that she may quite p ssibly have been mistaken in her inventory: but such things as she thinks she has. she hereby gives into your possession, praying that you will accept them as a sacred trust from one who has gone before. Listen, then, one and all. while I read the document, as duly drawn up and sworn to: First: To the Chinook High School at large we bequeath the commodity which we have in great abundance and which the Student Body most sorely needs—our entire stock of common sense. Second: Our understanding and comprehensiveness of English Literature, and Ancient History, we consign to no one but leave it hanging in mid-air for whoever needs it. Third: To our teachers we leave our lasting affection and a large measure of thanks for their labor in steering us through the stormy voyage of school. Fourth: To the Juniors we leave the right to dig tirelessly and unceasingly in the musty pages of our books with hopes that they may come out as victorious as they are today. To them we bestow our senior dignity—may they absorb it, our extraordinary good looks and sublime conceit—may they value it. and our seats in assembly—occupy them but do not try to fill them. Fifth: To the Sophs, we bequeath all our laughs and giggles, our unsolved puzzles, tardy and absence slips, and our entire stock of chewing gum to be found in the numerous convenient nooks and corners of our desks. Sixth: To the Freshmen, we leave our wonderful intellectual powers which have brought us to our present enviable position. To Mr. Burney we leave the privilege of running the school. To Miss Raugust we bequeath our love for Mr. Bryan. To Miss Brown we contribute the privilege of eating peanuts in study hall. To Mr. Bryan we give our mechanical ability to keep his Ford running. T: Mrs. Sias the ever ready substitute, we leave the art of fitting in any time, anywhere, any place. To Stub Bowen we leave the sole right to get “hard boiled.” To M s. Williams we bequeath the right to give longer tests and more of them. To Mr. Zim we leave the right t speak loudly, and to his better half we leave all eighth, ninth, and tenth periods for backward pupils and gum chewers. Evelyn Westbrook leaves her abundant stock of good sense to Bernice King. Franklin Overcast wills his ability to play basketball to Glen Ccx. Eleanor McCaffrey donates her curly locks to Una Barbe . Jim Staff transfers his length to Blake Sheppard. Loretta Phelan leaves her vivid imagination to Alice Easbey. Bill Duke gives his managing ability to Wallace Zimmerman. Grace Peterson bequeaths her hMd on the Noyes’s to Julia Nolan. Joe Sackett bequeaths his curly hair, personality. and athletic ability to Paul Koenig. Stella Monscn bestows her sunny smile to Rosa Runnion. Ruth Maeirt leaves her typing ability to Leone Pulwer. To Edith Roys is given Mabel Bedell’s ability to “paddle her own canoe.” Elmer Gesell contributes his well-known capacity of exaggerating to Leo Moore. Osa and Hilga leave their striking resemblance to the Ramberg twins. Hollister Reser donates his dignified manners and deep meditations to Arthur Cowan. Monroe Tanberg donates his art of making witty remarks to Harold Utter. Katherine Holst wills her perfect coiffure to Mary Smith. Leonard Listou leaves his studious attitude to Everett Watkins.
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