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Page 31 text:
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5 x -4'''NYEIEQSZIllllllIllllllllllllllllllliklfilfii-a:i X V I O L E T A N D M A I Z E 'DPP-1'-i?.HIillllllIIIIIlIllIllIIlIllIIlll!iifEL'X'- '?v rf 4' Tutor-A Senior. Heroic Understudies-Juniors. ALL SCENES Senior-We are on the point of departure from the institution in which we have pursued with commendable diligence, our course of study. On the eve of our departure, the shades of night already drawn across the skies, the first faint illuminations of the morning light fast approaching fbefore whose arrival we must be gonej, we pause to dispose yet of matters vitally important to you, and com- manding our utmost powers of critical examination. You have been under our ennobling, enlightening, enthusing, inspirational and educational influences for three years, and naturally, our illimitable capacities as instructors, and the splendid examples which we have set for you cannot leave your minds blank, your lives empty, or fail to enhance the quality and quantity of your intellectual fabric. But to ease our minds, and to experience the unsurpassing joy of productive efforts,I have been requested by this austere assembly lpointing to Senior Classl, to conduct a general quiz in order to ascertain the extent and nature of improve- ment you have undergone while looking for learning and instruction up to us, your superiors. I will begin immediately, and without any flourish or ostentation-. The questions will be of historical, literary, philosophical, psychological, physiolog- ical, scientific, mathematical, astronomical, and general natures. Now to beginq, What is a cow? i Junior-A cow is a herbivorous animal, which got four legs split in two, but only one tail. The duty of the tail is to hit Hies with it, which often becomes difficult when the flies are posing on the head. It is impossible to- - Senior-Please attempt to suppress the violence of your convulsions, lest the manifestations of your shameful ignorance arouse within my being a blazing wrath which will melt my body as the mid-day sun melts the snow. Bring not this austere assembly to hysterics of despair by your unsophistical and childish expatiations. Let your voice no more be heard, but allow your more susceptible colleagues to give answer. I will now duly offer another question: What important event took place in the year 1898? Junior-That there was the time when the terrible war of X812 was foughten. In the same year the United States waged a war on the poor, helpless, defenseless mosquitos in the Panama Canal. The war was waged fiercely with victory on either side, until the English gOt too strong, so the mosquitos agreed to submit the whole matter to arbitration. But when the Americans got too arbitrary the mosquitos bit them. Insult followed upon insult, injury upon injury, until finally the whole race of the mosquitos was wiped out. But the insects remained stubborn, and wouldn't give up, until- e Senior-Thou imbecile that hearest not, and understandest not what thou hearest! Grieve us no more with thy unbridled ravings. Alas! Will discourage- ments come upon us as a Hood in our happy hours, and bury us in a sea of despair. Question I will no more, for your knowledge is already determined. Behold! the morning light is breaking, we must be gone, but yet a word. Be true to the standards we have set up before you, and lower them not. Distinguish yourselves and make yoursleves known as we have done. Seek to profit by our example, and leave no stone unmoved under which may possibly be hidden the few gems which we leave behind us. The day breaks, and we must pass on to withstand under laboring toil the heat of the sun. Fare thee welll ' e 27 CZ 9 .'F2.':e L5f.'i3ll lllillliillllIlllllllllllllllllllllIllllIIIIIllllIlIIIllIllllllllIlllllllllIllllllllllllllllllllllllIlllllllIllIIIIlllllllllllllllIllllllllllll IllIlllllllIlIllllI?lIl!EIllII'.+J J'w .f 1' D
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Page 30 text:
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Page 32 text:
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