Chester High School - Reflector Yearbook (Chester, VA)

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e J (et lector SNAPSHOTS • M[ .}«- Page Seventy-Three

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A Klassick A Scotchman named McINTOSH entered a Jew shop which was situated in a HIGHTOWER. “Veil,” said Abie, “Vhat WOOD you haf?” Sandy stuck his thumbs in his VEST, “I want some SMITH Bros, cough drops. How much?” “Fife cents,” came the reply. “I’ll give you FORE cents.” “It SIMS to me that you’re a JETER.” “Shut up, I think that this is PRET-LOW of you,” said Sandy, grabbing Abie by his GUZA pipe and PATTON his head against the wall. “Turn loose, dot feels BAIRD. Oh ! Hoiman, bring me de axe by de door.” When Abie had the axe, he turned to the son of the heather, saying: “Now, I gif you two minutes by the CLARKE on de wall to leave here.” “What?” “HESS just vhat I said,” replied Abie, “and if you don’t, you vill haf a nice little green mound in some WOODY LOTZ, vhere de COLE vinds blow in de vinter.” “JENNINgs that AVENT, I WILSON come and haunt you DAILEY, until you CONDrey stand it no longer.” However, the Scotchman decided to leave, so he climbed into his TUDOR sedan, and BENTley his attention to his OTEY- mobile. “The old ROBER(tson), he said, “I should have MAR (tin) ed up his face.” “Veil, dot’s DUNN,” said the Jew as his nerves resumed their FARMER steadiness. He then sat down in his FOSTER father’s chair, picked up COLLIER’S, delved his hand deep into a HINES’ pickle jar, and, bringing forth part of its contents, proceeded to make himself comfortable while reading the race review. “Oh, Hoiman ! I think dot JOHNSON’S YANCEY will be a GOODWYN, let’s bet on him.” Thus endeth the parable of what happens when a Scotchman and a Jew come together. — Edward D. Robertson.

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Jokes » w» It is a lot nicer to write jokes than to tell them, for when you write them, you don’t have to wait to see if anyone is going to laugh. Mr. Justis: “What was the answer to your problem?” “Apey”: “Two foots.” Said Hugh to Lucy: “You have such pretty iiii, You talk with perfect eeee, And when I tell you, you are yyyy, You tell me I’m a tttt.” Miss Wiant : “Carrie, define a lyric.” Carrie: “A lyric was originally intended to be sung to the accompaniment of the ” Miss Wiant : “Go ahead, lyre, that’s not a bad word, Carrie.” Martin Dunn: thing in a woman.” “Her voice was ever soft, gentle, and low, a remarkable Herman (studying mandamus in civics) : “That sounds like a bad thing.” Julius (seeing Fore and Jean sitting in the window): “There are two in the window.” ‘pains’ Willis: “Why does the national election come on the first Tuesday after the first Monday in November?” Miss Gray: “Because the first Tuesday in the month might come on Sunday.” GEMS THAT SPARKLE IN C. H. S. Jefferson’s Epitaph: “Here stands brave Thomas Jefferson.” Example of a balanced sentence: “Longfellow was a poet; Vergil an actress.” “Isosceles was a mathematician.” “We can look back in the future.” “Stone of Scone was Macbeth’s nickname.” Miss Wiant: “Correct this sentence: When six years old, my grandfather died.” “Chink”: “My grandfather died when he was six years old.” Page Seventy- Four