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Debate is still raging over the Man or Monkey issue. Did man evolve from the ape? Or is he a divine creation? Few students are aware of it, but Cherry Creek's own little pocket of atavism conclusively disproves Darwin's theory of survival of the fittest. One wonders, indeed, just where this incompetent cli- que originated and how they sunfived . . . but I digress. Let us visit a typical Senate meeting. Arrive punctually at 10:15 A.M., Senate's scheduled meeting time. No one else will be there. Senate members make a habit of being late to meetings to emphasize and attach importance to their entrances. The door to the room will be locked, the lights out, and, as Senate members straggle in, the conversation will become increasingly banal. Ten minutes will pass. Eventually, Why doesn't someone get a key? After some inconclusive bickering and two successful attempts to make a decision through parliamentary procedure, Neil Mackie, irked by the disturb- ance outside his door, growls and throws the key to one of the Senate's transis- torized freshmen members. Too short to reach the keyhole, the Senator gives the keys to someone else. The door is opened. The keys are not returned. Sen- ate members congratulate themselves on a job well done and vote to spend a portion of their operating budget on steak dinners for everyone. Elapsed time: 23 minutes. Now in the meeting room itself, roll is taken Cfifteen of Senate's thirty-five members are present-better than averagej and debate begins. After voting and reversing the decisions some thirteen times, the issue is resolved: Cherry Creek, it seems, is to be given four new trash cans. Senate has formed a Com- mittee to decide what to do with them. Senate members congratulate them- selves on a job well done and vote themselves lobster dinners. Debate on a new issue begins. Elapsed time: 31 minutes. A motion to adjourn reaches the floor and is passed overwhelmingly. Senate members congratulate themselves on a job well and decisively done, and vote European vacations to all Senators. MIKE WINFREY, Co-President, BETH LEVIN, Treasurer, MOlFiA LISTER, Secretary, KIM DOWNING, Co-President ATE
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