Chatham Hall - Chathamite Yearbook (Chatham, VA)

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THE CHATHAMITE sables and orchids. Beside her sat Miss Albany, the bathing-beauty queen, but I penetrated her disguise and recognized Louise Herrick, who was sharing Try1ie's box for the purpose of publicity. Suddenly Trishieis familiar giggle rang out as Janet Gregory, that arch anarchist, stood up to hurl a bomb at Carmen -poor Dukiel Janet had been foiled in an attempt the day before to harangue the rabble from a soap box, and had come to the Opera to wreak vengeance. However, remem- bering that she had never been able throw straight, even in baseball, she broke down, and was led weeping from the scene. What will Sarah's column tell tomorrow? The performance was over and I arose to leave, but my progress up the aisle was retarded by the waltzing figure of Elmina Tilden, who has turned Bohemian and was wearing dangling earrings Hlld a beret. She was putting into practice a new dance step which the opera had suggested to her. In the emptying theatre, I was surprised to see Ruth Mary Penfield sitting alone, apparently in deep thought. I touched her on the shoulder, and with a start she said, Could you tell me when this performance begins ?', An explanation was needed, and she hastened to tell me that she had been concentrating on Helen Taylor, who was then engaged in cleaning up Chinatown, as it was the nearest she could get to home. Going out into the lobby, I noticed that all the gentlemen were wearing hats which did not fit. This was due, I discovered, to the sweet, slow, Southern smile of the hat-check girl, Helen Marshall. Francis Vaughan was chatting with her, and I learned that she had come north to answer to the great demand of New York's debutantes to learn the Southern shag. She informed me that Betsy Felts was about to marry an Arctic explorer and that Frances Crute had finally married her Hargrave love, and was now making men, not moneyf' Just then, a frantic figure rushed past me. lt was Biddle-bettle, who had been going to a board meeting and could not figure out how in the world she got to the opera. Being a successful psychiatrist, she was sure the reason lay in her sub- conscious mind. I was thrilled to have seen the class which I had sponsored in '36, but suddenly realized there was one person missing. The, cry of Cigarettesl reached my ears, and turning around I beheld Betsy Hoifer balancing a tray of cigarettes and flashing a smile at prospective customers. Knowing that you will be pleased to hear of the Class ot' '36, I send this on to you for what it is Worth and hope that you will derive great pleasure from reading it aloud in assembly. Faithfully yours, agleomalla fAgent of The Eyes and Ears of the World! 27 I 9 3 6

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THE CHATHAMITE had come east as a representative of the Prairie Mothers, Association of Denver to coni-er with Clara. We walked up the aisle together, and i11 the lobby we ran into Kay Day, the beloved author of those influential books, Priscilla and Pauline at Boarding School or Wild Life in the Dormitoriesf' Our attention was attracted to a very mannishly dressed woman smoking a cigarette in a long holder, none other than Anne Ely. Suddenly the blase expression left her face, and seizing a. pencil, she began to scribble frantically on her cuff. Upon inquiry, we ascertained that she had just worked out a formula for a new highball. . Upon going back to my seat, I was almost enmeshed in what proved to be Bunny Kneeland's chewing gum. Bunny had fulfilled her ambition to be a social service worker and was now making her latest protege feel at home by chewing gum at the opera. Shadowing Bunny I saw the meticulous Mary Applegate picking up the gum papers as Bunny let them fall. I turned to avoid a fresh onslaught of chewing gum and saw in a box the noted coiffeuse, former Booty Woods, who is now married, as you know, to the illustrious beauty expert, Vorticelli of the Spitz. His jet black ringlets had been freshly curled that very morning by the devoted Booty. As I thumbed through my program, I came upon the picture of a coming attrac- tion of the skating season, Little Andy of the Silver Skates. On the next page was an iidggrtisement of the Waistcoat Tailleur. You will be delighted to hear that Mrs. Waistcoat is the erstwhile Sibyl Coates. The Waistcoat Tailleur has become well known through the clothes designed by Margaret Woods. Up to this time Parge's talent had been eclipsed by that of her twin. But There is no point in hiding your light under a bushel, says Parge, and she is 11ow the exclusive designer for the Hoyt twins. These two noted models were seated in a box displaying gowns for the cocktail hour. When the lights were bei11g dimmed, and the orchestra started tuning up for the third act, I noticed a familiar face beaming from the orchestra pit, and the figure of Nancy Meier twined gracefully around her harp. Now and then a wistful look came over Na.ncy's face, and strains of The Volga Boatmanv floated forth. The lights Went down, and at the appearance of the toreador, I noticed a lovely woman ahead of me let down her hair and weep. I realized it was Betty Branch des Gonzales, bewailing the absence of her husband detained in Mexico during the bullfighting season. At this moment I heard a commotion in the balcony, a11d turned around to see Gina Farr, wife of the famous Frank Duck, the big game hunter, accompanied by a pet gorilla, Keatsey. They were both wearing bow ties, and Gina was vainly attempt- ing to appease Keatsey's commotion with animal crackers. As my gaze traveled from balcony to box, I noticed a stealthy figure snooping around. It was none other than Mrs. Rapaljeis little goil Sarah, the Walter Winchell of her day. The box behind which she stood contained the well-known Rotogravure belle, Trishie Grant, who had landed her millionaire and now appeared decked in 26 1936

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THE CHATHAMITE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN- If Woodle were ever dressed for chapel? If all third Dabney ever got to breakfast on time? If the Vaughans didn't get any mail? If we picked only violets in the gyardin? If Gina wore ruffles? If the faculty paid attention in assembly? If Judy Fisher found her Tinker ? If all third Pruden got a tub? If Clay lost her voice? If Eleanor Herrick got the bird? or vice versa? If Caroline Boxley really saw a vampire? If Branch learned to face a mouse? If Edith Cowles developed reserve? If Betsy Hoffer said Y-E-S? If Viggi walked like Winlock? If Dizzy spoke the King,s English? If Dykie were ever at a loss? If Ruth Frick stinted the Service League? If Gloria's hair turned Green? If Trout had a hook nose? If somebody imitated Kitty King? If Evelyn Byrd joined the army? If Kitty Hobson had a stiff neck? If Hollister arched her feet? If Motley tarnished? If there were only one Osborn? If Maisie were an idealist? If they didn't sell Wooley's in the book store? 28 1936