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Page 33 text:
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THE LAST OF THE WORMSGROVIANS Wormsgrowe rs srtuated twenty mrles southeast of I-Irckxrlle Center North Dakota Theres one thrng about Wormsgroxe that rs drfferent from all other typrcal country towns The town has a complete all cast rron prpe sewer system Thrs really doesn t have very much to do wrth the story so lets forget about rt udge Dobson who rsnt really a judge leader of the Frrst Eprscopal Church of Worms grove The only other relrgron that rs practrced rn publrc rn the town rs at the Protestant Church A fellow by the name of Maxwell McKernrsh DD rs the Mrnrster Maxwell McKernrsh D D Qcalled Mac Kernrsh for shortj rs a rabrd Protestant and udge Dobson rs also a xery farth ful follower of hrs church These men are what you mrght call bosom pals ust about the only trme you could ever find those two fellows rn drfferent places at the same trme rs Sunday mornrng between seven and ten fthose are therr offrce hoursj Both these men would undoubtedly be fellow presrdents of the Land of the Free were rt not for one tmy factor Only too often these frrends for lrfe get polluted wrth rntoxrcat rng beverages On one such sad nrght Messrs Dobson and McKernrsh were wrthout questron completely lacquered It wasnt long before a drsagreement led to an argument and the argu ment led rnto physrcal factors judge Dobson applred a good old one two punch to the solar plexus of sard Mrnrster and sard Mrnrster con srderably loosened up the grrnders rn MacKer one wrth at least half a gram of salt could see that they were hurtrng therr own hands more than they were hurtrng each other Well worst came to worst and the furnrture was rn the way so they used that udge Dobson who always thought hrs charrs were about the most com fortable rn town found out what rt was to have one broken oxer hrs head Nothrng to say of the number of broken lamps that he threw back at McKernrsh' When the Res erend Maxwell McKernrsh D D left for colloqurally speakrng was krcked out ofj the judges home he was badly rn need of good first ard treatment judge Dobson was by no means so completely rncapacrtated as the mrn rster but hrs house had suffered rn hrs stead A week later when a brll for the reparr of the udge s house arrrved at the Reserend s home he turned blue wrth vrolence In hrs Sunday sermon the Mrnrster delrxered a scathrng speech on the wrckedness of untrue frrends endrng rt wrth a warnrng to the con gregatron that they must keep close together so that they mrght fight thrs monster Vrce unrted It rs not necessary to say what the mrnrster sard rn hrs sermon In seseral days the leaders had worked therr congregatrons rnto such a state that one member wouldnt walk on the same srdewalk wrth another Plots and counter plots were formed to burn down the competrtrxe churches to wrpe out each congregatron The next Sunday was to be Holy Communron rn both churches On the Sabbath day both meet mg houses were packed rn expectatron of a great and furrous speech by therr respectrxe leaders The blessed wrne was partaken of rn both churches the speeches were made and the people went home During that nrght a stupendous calamrty overtook the entrre populatron Mon day mornrng saw only two lrse souls rn Worms grove judge Dobson and Mrnrster Maxwell Mc Kenrsh D D When these two august gentlemen found out how complete therr blrtzkrerg had been th y were horrrfied Tuesday morning saw the Mrnrst r and the udge the best of frrends agarn R WICHTLIAN ll A NOISE IN THE NIGHT It was about two rn the mornrng when I was awakened by a norse rn my room I had retrred after readrng for several hours rn preparatron for my unrversrty examrnatron Grays Anatomy was left open on my table just rn front of the skull I had been studyrng I sat up rn bed and called out but nobody was there As I lrstened the norse began agarn I got up and searched the room I opened the door but could End no reason for the norse whrch once agarn had stopped I lrke norse comrng from the drrectron of the table It was the skull' As I gazed almost transflxecl I saw rt movrng towards me wrth a fateful look rn those eye sockets gnashrng rts teeth clenchrng rts jaws and noddrng rts head' It was comrng to devour me A cry and I farnted A Irttle later I woke up and found my room mate Brll holdrng me and askrng what had happened I pornted to the skull It was strll there on the table but now qurte motronless Brll looked and as he drd so the skull began to move agarn lor a moment Brll stared wrth bulg rng eyes then wrth a sudden rush to the door he called to the other boys rn the fraternrty house to come quretly Armed wrth paddles they came rushrng rnto my room Upon learnrng the cause of my frrght they moved cautrously toward the skull now qurte motronless but a second or two later rt mosed agarn For a moment they paused then wrth a sud den rush forward they struck the skull wrth therr paddles breakrng rt to preces There lyrng rn a heap of bone fragments was 1 dead mouse S1 UART I0sT1R ll 25 . I . . . Y. y A' , , . A 7 , I . Y Y . . - l ' a 1 - 1 Y I U , I I- I I , is , 1 1 1 - , I I I T ' '7 : - I 5 I , 1 1 7 I I , I . I J V Q 2 . - S . y Y . I I 3 'I v ' I Y I I . . I I . 1 ' , . , . '. Q n I 7 I V . I , . I 7 I I - 1. I 1, , 7 , I I 1 I Q nish's lower jaw. Even wrth all thrs gorng on any waited a minute, then again there was the thud- . . . 7 . . l . r Q M . I I r I 1 v I ' I, . I 7 I . , I 7 I , I 4 . I ' . ' I . . , , ' r I . ' 1 I I -I I1 I I I a ' -v , ,I I Q ' 'I U I . : I I v- . ' 1 Y I I I . I . . . I I I . ' I 7 . , . . . . Q y . J 1 - y ' . , A I . ' 1 s a . I f I I I . 3 3 - .I I. . . 1 I , T y - . Y . . . . . 1 II , , r 1 - - - 1 1 I ' X v ., . 4 . ' ' .r I I. ' 7 3 1 ,
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Page 34 text:
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DINING OUT TONIGHT Haddon Hall, Atlantic City, From their menu comes this ditty: Wondrous foods and drinks galore, But choosing them is quite a chore. A linguist would be quite a help, In getting parsley 'stead of kelp. Crusted rolls are nice to eat, But never when one must be neat. Waiters swarm from everywhere To take your dimes and hold your chair. Manners are to me confusing' I never know which fork I m using The waiters swarm back for their tips When they see you wipe your lips When you finally wade through all You ll hnd you never ate at all' I d rather eat in my own home Without the swank and shiny chrome Ricmmo HUGHES A LIGHT a as' People little people crawling burrowing in tunnels caves and underground far into the earth and away from the sun what a strange sight to be seen' The outwardly stolid old moun tain had xiewed much of civilization passing by his very feet but never before had he seen this Tiny hgures had one day surmounted the pine studded hills far below him had progressed into the valley by the lake and had erected a rustic camp that had gradually grown from a small mining hamlet to a thriving town in this colorful mountain setting It was not far from many other towns that had also grown swiftly But now the inhabitants no longer went to sleep at sunset and awakened in the fresh morn ing hour of the sunrise Indced dots and rovss of tiny shining obyects thtt werc xisible at night told this story damp moss toxercd trtgs on the mountun side surcly thcsc vscrc lar more yowcr ul tnn hrcflrcs Ycs cxcn thc till slcndcr gliss thimncycd oil lima vnth igloxung mtntlc thu hid onte veen uncl rc olutioniry thc motc ol run ll novs ist wcirct lzlcttritity had come 76 Round globes of glass that glistened and gave forth a dazzling light lined the streets of the now prosperous town at the foot of the venerable landmark. But years passed and the old mountain looked on wonderingly. Few changes tock place on his mighty sides, and they were slow and unnoticed by the hurried town-folk below. Schools, stores, and modern homes now lined the streets. At night, a glow that was visible for miles reflected into the sky. What a blessed discovery lighting had been! New fluorescent lighting equipment that even resembled daylight had been invented. All new factories and schools being equipcped with these! Now people slept late into the ay, missing the inspiring sight of the sunrise spark- ling through the fresh mountain mist But to compensate for this they worked studied and played long into the hours of darkness when the world lay in slumber save in the cities of light' Perhaps it was due to loneliness because not many now ascended his rugged slopes but a barely audible sigh emitting from the wind swept pines of the mountain summit seemed to say Foolish little folk' Why do they no longer seek the fresh air bright sunlight and thrilling panorama of scenery viewed from my crown? People little people crawling burrowing in tunnels caves and underground far into the earth and away from the sun RICHARD CARTFR 11 SECURITY Dear Lord if I can only keep My dream untarnished through the years I shall not mind the pain the tears The ransom of eternal sleep If when the night draws close to me Unchanged is the sky s dear blue And men have still that hope in you Unfrightened then my heart will be ROSI' MARX MORIARTN UP STAIRS7 Library I sat down at a table on thc ground floor and began looking at Life Magazine It was 1 partitularly hnc issuc md I was enyoy ing it immcnscly vxlcn 1 d k tupid lookin man rudely intcrrupted me yi do l get u str ic asked ns QILICSIIOII L ILI III ITIL NOIII CV ll ll Llfl IM JFCN , . . . , , . , - 7 I , I 5 7 7 -. , . a ' . .?, , , . , 1 -. 3 . , . . , , U I x . . - . . . . . T . . y I Y 5 1 , . . . . , . , . 7 T IV 7 Y Y . . . . . . . - . . , 1 I ' . ,Q . 7- . - Y k- A- . r ri f ' , ' , - Y . Y I . . 1 . my L y A .Y - . lfirellies had often been seen at dusk in the Last week I had occasion to visit the Public ' ' IV I an , ' ' ', ' ' z ' Y but i 1' '- ' '. ' H 'Af I. , I 1- -' v f ' v ' ' . '. ' 1. . ' . , , ' , , . ' .- 1 I 'I ' 'I ' . ' . 4 ' l 'A A , .utlr 'I at -x ' . ' to ' I' If 'i g. 'il-I0 ' 1- pq .irs? I A .3 . Tl '. I.d ' dypy 1. 'I. ' I .g A 1 '. . My'
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