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Page 31 text:
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CLASS PROPHECY (I) Now that we are leaving school, and going out into the world, we will lose con- tact with many of our friends. It would be interesting to see what some of us are doing twenty years from now. The year is 1970. The place: A much changed Baidwinsville. Time of day: Late afternoon. We get off the bus, after our long trip, and stroll across the street into Woods’ drugstore which now covers six square blocks since Gus took over. As we enter, we hear a ripping sound as his pockets tear from the weight of his gold. Gus snaps his fingers, and Bruce Baust, soda-jerk extraordinary, hastens to retrieve his fallen gold. After slugging a couple of sodas, we rise to leave, but are bowled over by a block thrown by the world's greatest lineman, Jack Ecker, who is running interference for Dick Perkins and Ike” Burton. After picking our- selves up from the ground, we begin to talk. Eventually our talk turns to politics, and we learn to our amazement that the race for the presidency is a close one be- tween Roland Victory and Don Delmarter. I pull my timetable from my pocket and check on the next boat to Russia. We bid our friends adieu, and start across the street. When half way across, we are accosted by a huge red Ford truck bearing down on us. We leap to safety, but are showered by coaldust. Indignantly we stalk into the office of the fastset talking team of female lawyers in the world, Jane Varey and Mary Fauler. We ask for legal advice, and are directed to the office of Sheriff Barbara Beebe, who is the only sheriff in the world who enters beauty contests. Sheriff Beebe tells us that the truck was one owned by the largest trucking company in the world, Anthony (Pee Wee) Sojdak's. Upon hearing this, we drop the charges and leave. As we stroll around town, we hear the sound of a typewriter feverishly work- ing. This is the office of our local newspaper, the Daily Dirt, which is owned and edited by Harry (Scoop) Tetrault. We look through the window, and see sports writer, Fred Burtch, photographing the world’s most perfectly formed man, Gilly Stebbins. We go in to ask about more of our school mates. Harry tells us that Joyce Ridall and Mildred Dunham are running a school, teaching the fundamentals of cheerleading, and are making a mint of the long green. We decided to look them up for obvious reasons. By this time our stomachs read empty and we look around for a restaurant. We see a huge neon sign which reads The Gustke and Coleman House of Hash.” We remember the old saying, Any port in a storm and enter. Betty and Shirley are standing behind the counter, giving orders to their waitresses, Barb Weller and Marie Hulbert. We order steak and a milkshake. When Barbara brings it to us, U!,fhat e steak came {rom one of Chuck Patchett’s 600, 000 longhorns, na that me milk in the shakes comes from one of Leroy Patchett’s 600, 000 milk PaTna.Iherfuhad S°me Ulk or mer inS two farms. Just then, Martha and the ioraiJ0lk ln’ c,0Ver!d fr0m head t0 toe in ermine. They tell us that they own Par rnrff ° C“dy counters world. It seems that they had had Bob they had a sillv i!fea°th bUt B°b Suddenly gained 70 pounds in two weeks, and iney had a silly !dea that he was nibbling on the job.
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Page 32 text:
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(n) Suddenly a great roaring sound is heard and the two champion stock car driv- ers in the world, Rod (Mad Throttle) Dow and Art (Gunner) Sochia are seen racing down the street. As they reach the peak of their speed, a pedestrian steps in front of them. A sickening crash is heard, and when the smoke clears we can see two badly bruised cars in front of us with pro football player, T. D. Doris standing over them, not even his hair mussed. Standing next to him is that giant among men in the football world, Don Wrightson, who along with T. D. has just finished his 20th season of pro football with Ira Hill Wonders. While we are feeling their muscles and chatting, we see a soap box leading a man up the street. This is Mayor (Windy) Wilcox. Mayor Wilcox begins to speak. Two hours later head street cleaners, Don Minnoe and Bob Hourihan, carry him away, still babbling happily. We hurry after them to see what they will do with him to keep him from talking himself to death. Apparently this same problem has presented itself before, because they carry him directly to Danny O’Brien’s house, where O. B. puts him to sleep by playing a few choice selection on his organ while nurse Frances Thom strokes his forehead. No normal person could sleep through this. We leave our mayor in the arms of Morpheus and Frances and head back downtown. When about half way there we are offered a lift by someone in a 1970 Chevy. This person turns out to be Carol Van Wie out for a joy ride in one of her 15 new Chevy's. She lets us out down town, and we enter the Cozy Corner, which is under the management of Jeanne Hearne and Lorraine Haney. The place is much larger, and we see Rose Deloff and Nancy McArdell jitterbugging to a juke box, at one end of the counter. We slug our cokes and go back outside, where we immediately hear the sound of barking and howling. Betty Warner is coming down the street, surrounded by an army of her dogs which she trains. There is still some doubt in my mind as to whether the boys or the dogs were doing the howling. We fall in step with her and learn that she is heading for the bank to make a withdrawal. We decide to walk with her. At the bank, the door is opened by head door woman, Clara Hay. I come in and go out 50 times. At the window, we are waited on by the president of the bank, Ardis Auyer, and Vice President, Beverly Houck. Suddenly a shot rings out and a woman screams. A dirty looking bank robber moves in and loots the place. Our alert police force, headed by Lester Grome, takes off in pursuit. Policewomen Jane Gleason and Marilyn Borrow radio ahead for help. The robber is caught before he can leave town, and when he is unmasked he proves to be George Wilber, who due to worry over the financial status of his Syracuse Nationals, was forced to make a quick withdrawal of some of his funds. The shot was the backfire from one of Rod Beebe's hot rods out on the street, which we learn, do a show called Beebe's Rambling Wrecks.” After all this excitement, we feel the need for a little relaxation, so we head for Bud Pickard's EMPORIUM OF POOL. Through the blue mist caused by the flying pool chalk we see a man bent doggedly over a pin-ball machine. As we come closer we see that this is Dewey Bond. Twenty years ago we left Dewey sitting at this same pin-ball machine. He said at the time that he wouldn't leave until he'd won a game. Apparently, Dewey is a man of his word. Back in the corner, in the section reserved for women, we see Mimi DeLyne blasting a game all by herself. She is, as you know, the champion female pool player in the world, with a close second, Marion Langworthy. We watch her stroke in a few, and turn to leave when a deafening shriek fills the air. Pick pulls us out from underneath the table and explains that the shriek was merely the
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