Central Washington University - Hyakem / Kooltuo Yearbook (Ellensburg, WA)

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Being a person of charming personality, distinguished for eloquence and magnetic power; one who is a bundle of nerves and excitable gray matter, and opens a whole battery of logic every time 1 open my mouth; having taken a special course in oratory under our famous teacher in reading, at the W. S. N. S., for richness of tone, elegant voice, and wonderful atmosphere — -I feel myself a most worthy applicant to be the head of oratory in your New Model School. Yours humbly, Edith Rhodes Took a special course at the world ' s famous Thomas Physical Culture College. My specialty is a method of increasing weight without harm to the student. For proof see me, for I am a living example of my profession. Before I entered the school I weighed two hundred and fifty, yet I am very quick and graceful in my movem ents. Yours truly, Adelia Cecile Tompkins m For twenty years I have studied and lectured successfully on atmospheric conditions. The exposure of odoriferous and contaminated air is in my line, because of my specialized olfac¬ tory properties. I am especially fitted to prescribe the exact amount of carbon dioxide, nitrogen and oxygen each student ought to consume. If allowed, I will be glad to give you at any time a few demonstrations of my proficiency. MYRTLE Hawks ■ 7, r ' -f ' :- ' i Desiring to teach a class in Horticulture, 1 took a special course in that subject in the Champion of England University, of South Dakota, under the direction of my cousin. Prof. Bean. First prize was given me at the State Fair last year for producing the tallest and largest peas ever known to grow, and I feel that I could with success teach the fundamental principles of Horticulture. Yours respectfully, i Emma Bell Pease 31

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Having made special study of the value of concentrated foods, I apply for the positioi of 1 lead of the Pure Food Laboratory. From tests I have made with Malted Milk” (myl self being the subject in every instance) I am led to believe that it is the coming food for per- sons of all ages. I believe that enough can be produced in the laboratory in one day to promote the health and digestion of one hundred pupils. K. Lancridce 1 P. S. Malted Milk will induce a heavy growth of hair. . Grow tall! Why be short? I can increase the height of either sex from two to five inches. Scientists and physicians have been trying for years to find some method of increasing height, but have failed. As wish to introduce my wonderful discovery, I offer my services as Assistant Physical Trainer foi one year free of charge. My height is 63 inches. Bertha Ketner | I have a world w r idc reputation as skilled instructor of penmanship, having taught in all of the leading schools of the nation. I am prepared to teach any system of writing ini any language. I guarantee to any student, regardless of inefficiency in this line of work, abil- ity to write in a legible hand at the rate of one hundred and fifty words per minute, and per feet freedom in the use of all the latest flourishes of which I make a specialty. My signature alone furnishes sufficient evidence of my remarkable talent in my line of work. P I understand that your most excellent school is in need of a competent instructor to occupy the chair of mathematics and for this reason send in my application. I have established a record in mathematics that is hard to compute, but I have accomplished that also. I make a specialty of the Dry Measure in arithmetic. 8 qts. — 1 peck. 4 pecks — 1 bushel, and explain it thus: I am a peck, my two brothers, my sisters and myself each being a peck, together make a busheL (Signed) Myrtle E. Peck jo

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Having graduated from the Munson Scientific School. I feel most efficiently prepared to take charge of the department of Piscatology in your school. The course includes a thorough training in that science, and especially treats of the habits, characteristics and home of the pike. Will give private lessons on the secret of how to catch a fine Pike. My method has been tried with great success. Ella F. PlKE As head of the English department, I found my work so very engrossing that I tumbled I myself, and, for the last twenty years, deemed it wise to cut it out and limit my efforts to tu special line of Prof, of Slang. I offer a star course, for I myself am a shining light Doodles of my stunts can be mastered in a giffy for so steeped am I in my chosen art that my every word gushes with a living issue of slang. A real pert person can catch on to my peachj expressions in half a giffy, for only to feast one ' s optics on my phiz convinces one that I am fully developed pedestrian of my art. I take pupils without discrimination, and supply scat of examples to those wishing to throw to the birds their seedy expressions and grow into a pel feet example of this 20th century profession. GRAYCE CROCKETTE j I ' m bound to have a chair. It doesn ' t matter where. Just so sentimental poetry I may write. And if you ' d really care. To hear what I can do. I’ll recite just a line or so for you. “There was a young lady who said. I’m really determined to wed, I know I can do it. if I put my mind to it, I’ll just follow the advise I have read.” Mellicent McNeil, Ph. D. For the Department of Biology: My qualifications are unquestionable. I am noted far and wide for having successful! worked out the mysterious problem as to which came first, the hen or the egg. I have trace out the cerebro-spinal system of the paramecium. My disposition is peaceful and attractiv and in personal appearance I have often been mistaken for Julius Caesar. In summer I liv with the frogs, mosquitoes and other animals. I am noted for the habit of “looking down whi walking on the street. This is not because I am always looking for “bugs,” as some may sup pose, but only an outward sign of my deep concentration of mind, which makes my work so su cessful. Trusting that you will carefully consider this application, I am Yours respectfully, O. C. Goss, Ph. D., B. S. 33