Central Washington University - Hyakem / Kooltuo Yearbook (Ellensburg, WA)

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Having made special study of the value of concentrated foods, I apply for the positioi of 1 lead of the Pure Food Laboratory. From tests I have made with Malted Milk” (myl self being the subject in every instance) I am led to believe that it is the coming food for per- sons of all ages. I believe that enough can be produced in the laboratory in one day to promote the health and digestion of one hundred pupils. K. Lancridce 1 P. S. Malted Milk will induce a heavy growth of hair. . Grow tall! Why be short? I can increase the height of either sex from two to five inches. Scientists and physicians have been trying for years to find some method of increasing height, but have failed. As wish to introduce my wonderful discovery, I offer my services as Assistant Physical Trainer foi one year free of charge. My height is 63 inches. Bertha Ketner | I have a world w r idc reputation as skilled instructor of penmanship, having taught in all of the leading schools of the nation. I am prepared to teach any system of writing ini any language. I guarantee to any student, regardless of inefficiency in this line of work, abil- ity to write in a legible hand at the rate of one hundred and fifty words per minute, and per feet freedom in the use of all the latest flourishes of which I make a specialty. My signature alone furnishes sufficient evidence of my remarkable talent in my line of work. P I understand that your most excellent school is in need of a competent instructor to occupy the chair of mathematics and for this reason send in my application. I have established a record in mathematics that is hard to compute, but I have accomplished that also. I make a specialty of the Dry Measure in arithmetic. 8 qts. — 1 peck. 4 pecks — 1 bushel, and explain it thus: I am a peck, my two brothers, my sisters and myself each being a peck, together make a busheL (Signed) Myrtle E. Peck jo

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Hearing that you desire a thoroughly competent person at the head of your department of Domestic Science, I am confident that I am just the person you must have. For besides this Science being a gift bestowed upon me by Nature, I have spent years in attaining the highest degree of excellence, thinking naught of time and money. I have performed many dan¬ gerous and difficult experiments. I he outcome of one of my wonderful experiments is a receipt for kisses for which I have been offered $100,000 and I can make a light feathery egg omelet without burning it. I have a charming personality and a hopeful disposition. Hope Coy To all whom it may concern: I. the undersigned, have been spending many years in vigorous study and much research work on that exceedingly delightful and interesting subject, mathematics. At last I feel called upon to impart this superabundance (?) of knowledge to others. So. hearing that you are about to open the Twentieth Century Model School and need a Head of the Department of History of Mathematics, I am sure it is my duty to apply. Of course, references will be uncalled for when I tell you that I have attended the Morgan School of Mathematics for many years. If time, assidious study, and repeated effort be the only requisites for this worthy office I am confident of fulfilling the necessary qualifications. Edith B. Taylor To those who contemplate Great Things: Colemans Canon, Jan. 32, 1908. It gives me great pleasure to say that I will consider the position of Dictator of Fashions in your new ideal institution. I make a specialty of all fads and approve of a distinct and grotesque costume for each member of its faculty. It is my latest idea, after studying fads and faddists both here and at Muckilteo. that each individual should be so garbed as to be easily recognized at a mile s distance, this is the acme of jauntiness. For reception garb of gentle¬ men, for the coming season, I approve of light gray suits reaching to the boot tops, conven¬ tional white shirts generously decorated with black polka dots, red neckties and large rose sprays for buttoniere. Yours for dead swell style and conspicuity, Gertrude Cunningham, F. D. ( Fashion Devotee), D. D. (Director of Designs) I am glad to have you realize the all important position that sports play in the ideal school life. I know that I am thoroughly competent to take full and unlimited charge of that work in your school. I have had years of special training in parlor stunts and Indian war dances. I am a graduate of the Dreamland Roller Skating University and of the Wilcox School of I ennis. After graduating with the highest honors from the Grupc Equestrian School, I took a fellowship there, where I specialized in the art of leaping from flying steeds without injuring either rider or steed. Norma MACDONALD, R. S. D., E. D. 29

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Being a person of charming personality, distinguished for eloquence and magnetic power; one who is a bundle of nerves and excitable gray matter, and opens a whole battery of logic every time 1 open my mouth; having taken a special course in oratory under our famous teacher in reading, at the W. S. N. S., for richness of tone, elegant voice, and wonderful atmosphere — -I feel myself a most worthy applicant to be the head of oratory in your New Model School. Yours humbly, Edith Rhodes Took a special course at the world ' s famous Thomas Physical Culture College. My specialty is a method of increasing weight without harm to the student. For proof see me, for I am a living example of my profession. Before I entered the school I weighed two hundred and fifty, yet I am very quick and graceful in my movem ents. Yours truly, Adelia Cecile Tompkins m For twenty years I have studied and lectured successfully on atmospheric conditions. The exposure of odoriferous and contaminated air is in my line, because of my specialized olfac¬ tory properties. I am especially fitted to prescribe the exact amount of carbon dioxide, nitrogen and oxygen each student ought to consume. If allowed, I will be glad to give you at any time a few demonstrations of my proficiency. MYRTLE Hawks ■ 7, r ' -f ' :- ' i Desiring to teach a class in Horticulture, 1 took a special course in that subject in the Champion of England University, of South Dakota, under the direction of my cousin. Prof. Bean. First prize was given me at the State Fair last year for producing the tallest and largest peas ever known to grow, and I feel that I could with success teach the fundamental principles of Horticulture. Yours respectfully, i Emma Bell Pease 31