Central Washington University - Hyakem / Kooltuo Yearbook (Ellensburg, WA)

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My reputation as an artist is world renowned and you cannot afford to be without me. My talent has received the most careful instruction, and through my studies abroad I have gaine popularity as a landscape painter. A critic once said of one of my productions, that just missed being a work of art.” Another time some one remarked, I wouldn ' t give a straw foj that house.” Obediently yours, Enaj I. Dier Fancy steps and rhy thmical motions of the body a specialty. I was the star per forme in gymnasium calisthenics, drills, Faust waltz. Brownie polka, and minuets in the Thomas Scho of Poise and Atmosphere. After graduating from this school I went abroad and dancei the native dances in the courts of the leading countries of Europe. I can insure good results to any one, whosoever, that is able to walk with the toes turned in. Joanna Bishop, Dr. of Dancing In applying for a position as instructor in geology I deem it wise to give you a brie description of myself. My hair is like that of Pelee. My mouth like the crater of Kalauea while my language is like the lava flowing from it. My nose towers high in cold white sub limely like the crags of Mt. Stuart and my eyes have the brilliancy and tranquility of the mir ror lakes of California. My disposition is as smooth and rippling as a torrent mountai stream, while my knowledge of geology is as broad and productive as the desert of Sahara. Yours truly Margaret Slater I am a graduate of the Romantic School of Astronomy. Star gazing is my specialty and from my intense study of the inspiring constellations I have grown to be like them. My beauty, as you can see from my picture, is as that of Venus. I am as stately as Virgo, as fas¬ cinating as Saturn, my eyes sparkle like the gems in the Southern Cross. Of course. I prefer a class of one, and while giving my lesson I sit in the chair of Cassiopeia, and the soft swee music played upon the golden harp strings of Lyra lends a great enchantment. Loretta Salladay

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To the Board of Directors I wcnlieth Century Model School Pasco, Washington Dear Sirs: Enclosed photo and this short sketch can give you but a faint idea of my true merit Am a Bachelor Not in love. Never was and never expect to be. Quiet, studious, intellectual-looking. Have had several years experience as Prof, of Husbandry. Have had c c M 3r | nl i School$ c a . 1 Thrall. Thorp and other large cities, and have taught two years m W. S. N. S. I raining School. Just the man for the place. Have M. A. (Master of Arbitration) and M. D. (Master of Discipline) degrees. Yours for service, Cha’s W. Guibor, M. A., M. D. My specialty is an Up-to-Date Scientific Treatment of the Individual Child. I have made P ' -fjT , nd A a| y j s of the Brains of all the existing species of Juvenile Mankind: and their Minds and Impulses are to me an Open Book. I am also conversant with all known Systems of Padagogy. and am therefore perfectly qualified to teach the Management of all kinds of Schools. Principals. Superintendents. Directors, and Boards of Control Yours for the Overthrow of the Parent and the Elevation of the Child, the Downfall of Discipline and the Establishment of Pandemonium Now. Hereafter and Forever. Elizabeth M. Drummond Understanding that the population of Pasco is very portly and that there is a vacancy in the department of physical training. I think I am the one for the place, having made a special¬ ty of anti-fat methods. My methods are natural and dignified. Before taking this method I weighed not less than 250 pounds. Now I have to stand twice to cast a shadow. It will be an unlimited benefit to your school to employ me. Sarah A. McDonald Most noble and most honored Sir, To this request give ear; And let me enter in your school. As a Cantatrice this year. For like the nightingale at night. And like the lark by day, I warble through all dreary hours And turn night into day. If thou are weary and depressed. With merry songs I’ll cheer thee. But shoulds t thou wish for serenade In a charivari you’ll hear me. Maude Liddell r emale professional singer f Mock serenade of discordant music

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Hearing that you desire a thoroughly competent person at the head of your department of Domestic Science, I am confident that I am just the person you must have. For besides this Science being a gift bestowed upon me by Nature, I have spent years in attaining the highest degree of excellence, thinking naught of time and money. I have performed many dan¬ gerous and difficult experiments. I he outcome of one of my wonderful experiments is a receipt for kisses for which I have been offered $100,000 and I can make a light feathery egg omelet without burning it. I have a charming personality and a hopeful disposition. Hope Coy To all whom it may concern: I. the undersigned, have been spending many years in vigorous study and much research work on that exceedingly delightful and interesting subject, mathematics. At last I feel called upon to impart this superabundance (?) of knowledge to others. So. hearing that you are about to open the Twentieth Century Model School and need a Head of the Department of History of Mathematics, I am sure it is my duty to apply. Of course, references will be uncalled for when I tell you that I have attended the Morgan School of Mathematics for many years. If time, assidious study, and repeated effort be the only requisites for this worthy office I am confident of fulfilling the necessary qualifications. Edith B. Taylor To those who contemplate Great Things: Colemans Canon, Jan. 32, 1908. It gives me great pleasure to say that I will consider the position of Dictator of Fashions in your new ideal institution. I make a specialty of all fads and approve of a distinct and grotesque costume for each member of its faculty. It is my latest idea, after studying fads and faddists both here and at Muckilteo. that each individual should be so garbed as to be easily recognized at a mile s distance, this is the acme of jauntiness. For reception garb of gentle¬ men, for the coming season, I approve of light gray suits reaching to the boot tops, conven¬ tional white shirts generously decorated with black polka dots, red neckties and large rose sprays for buttoniere. Yours for dead swell style and conspicuity, Gertrude Cunningham, F. D. ( Fashion Devotee), D. D. (Director of Designs) I am glad to have you realize the all important position that sports play in the ideal school life. I know that I am thoroughly competent to take full and unlimited charge of that work in your school. I have had years of special training in parlor stunts and Indian war dances. I am a graduate of the Dreamland Roller Skating University and of the Wilcox School of I ennis. After graduating with the highest honors from the Grupc Equestrian School, I took a fellowship there, where I specialized in the art of leaping from flying steeds without injuring either rider or steed. Norma MACDONALD, R. S. D., E. D. 29