Central Washington University - Hyakem / Kooltuo Yearbook (Ellensburg, WA)

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To the Board of Directors I wcnlieth Century Model School Pasco, Washington Dear Sirs: Enclosed photo and this short sketch can give you but a faint idea of my true merit Am a Bachelor Not in love. Never was and never expect to be. Quiet, studious, intellectual-looking. Have had several years experience as Prof, of Husbandry. Have had c c M 3r | nl i School$ c a . 1 Thrall. Thorp and other large cities, and have taught two years m W. S. N. S. I raining School. Just the man for the place. Have M. A. (Master of Arbitration) and M. D. (Master of Discipline) degrees. Yours for service, Cha’s W. Guibor, M. A., M. D. My specialty is an Up-to-Date Scientific Treatment of the Individual Child. I have made P ' -fjT , nd A a| y j s of the Brains of all the existing species of Juvenile Mankind: and their Minds and Impulses are to me an Open Book. I am also conversant with all known Systems of Padagogy. and am therefore perfectly qualified to teach the Management of all kinds of Schools. Principals. Superintendents. Directors, and Boards of Control Yours for the Overthrow of the Parent and the Elevation of the Child, the Downfall of Discipline and the Establishment of Pandemonium Now. Hereafter and Forever. Elizabeth M. Drummond Understanding that the population of Pasco is very portly and that there is a vacancy in the department of physical training. I think I am the one for the place, having made a special¬ ty of anti-fat methods. My methods are natural and dignified. Before taking this method I weighed not less than 250 pounds. Now I have to stand twice to cast a shadow. It will be an unlimited benefit to your school to employ me. Sarah A. McDonald Most noble and most honored Sir, To this request give ear; And let me enter in your school. As a Cantatrice this year. For like the nightingale at night. And like the lark by day, I warble through all dreary hours And turn night into day. If thou are weary and depressed. With merry songs I’ll cheer thee. But shoulds t thou wish for serenade In a charivari you’ll hear me. Maude Liddell r emale professional singer f Mock serenade of discordant music

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Our Affairs HE Senior Class consists of twenty-four wide-awake, energetic members, always ready for work or play- -f I latter, of course, preferred. Of this number, the male sex has become almost extinct, the relation being twenty £11 two to two. Poor boys! Don’t you feel sorry for them? About the first excitement after class organization was the selection of Class Teachers. This requ great tact, as the Juniors and Fourth Years were early in the field for the same purpose. However, we very fortunate, and succeeded in obtaining: Dr. Munson, Miss Grupe, Dr. Harris. Mrs. Warner, Miss Thomas, and Prof Parks as our “Faculty Members. When Prof. Parks left for Chicago and was succeeded by Dr. Bevis. it was arrange for the latter to take the place of the former in the Senior Class as a “Class Teacher.” Our “Coming Out exercises were not of such a boisterous nature as the Fourth Years’, but were in keeping with th dignity of the class. It consisted of: The class yell, accompanied by the bringing forth of the white lamb” and the o cow bell, Senior heirlooms, the presentation of class colors, in the form of bouquets of purple and white asters, to eac of the Class Teachers,” and an appropriate speech by our president. One of the many good things done by us this year was the beautifying of the Senior Room, number seventeen. Havii thoroughly cleaned the room early in the year, it was thought to be a good idea to purchase some suitable pictures whi might be left as a memento of our class. Accordingly, a beautiful picture of the “Doge’s Palace by Moonlight was select© and, after being framed, was hung on the cast wall. A framed photograph of ”Our Mascott, Baby Ruth.” was also add« to the collection of pictures in room seventeen. •Gov. Mead didn’t seem to fee! very sorry for them. — Editors. Twentieth Century Model School The Twentieth Century Model School is to be opened at Pasco, Washington, betwixt heaven and earth, at dawn Ap 1, 1908. The purpose of this institution is mercenary and matrimonial, i. e., to right the evils now existing, to promo the national welfare, to prepare for a perfect life here on earth, and to get ready for a life of bliss on the yon side of th river Styx. None but the young and giddy need apply for a position in this school. Every applicant must send an origin sketch of his physiognomy. Address, Prof. P. D. Q. Modernness, Pasco, Washington. The following applicants have been favorably voted upon, owing to the unsurpassed qualications set forth in the extracts from their applications:

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My reputation as an artist is world renowned and you cannot afford to be without me. My talent has received the most careful instruction, and through my studies abroad I have gaine popularity as a landscape painter. A critic once said of one of my productions, that just missed being a work of art.” Another time some one remarked, I wouldn ' t give a straw foj that house.” Obediently yours, Enaj I. Dier Fancy steps and rhy thmical motions of the body a specialty. I was the star per forme in gymnasium calisthenics, drills, Faust waltz. Brownie polka, and minuets in the Thomas Scho of Poise and Atmosphere. After graduating from this school I went abroad and dancei the native dances in the courts of the leading countries of Europe. I can insure good results to any one, whosoever, that is able to walk with the toes turned in. Joanna Bishop, Dr. of Dancing In applying for a position as instructor in geology I deem it wise to give you a brie description of myself. My hair is like that of Pelee. My mouth like the crater of Kalauea while my language is like the lava flowing from it. My nose towers high in cold white sub limely like the crags of Mt. Stuart and my eyes have the brilliancy and tranquility of the mir ror lakes of California. My disposition is as smooth and rippling as a torrent mountai stream, while my knowledge of geology is as broad and productive as the desert of Sahara. Yours truly Margaret Slater I am a graduate of the Romantic School of Astronomy. Star gazing is my specialty and from my intense study of the inspiring constellations I have grown to be like them. My beauty, as you can see from my picture, is as that of Venus. I am as stately as Virgo, as fas¬ cinating as Saturn, my eyes sparkle like the gems in the Southern Cross. Of course. I prefer a class of one, and while giving my lesson I sit in the chair of Cassiopeia, and the soft swee music played upon the golden harp strings of Lyra lends a great enchantment. Loretta Salladay