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Page 33 text:
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DEEDS AND MISDEEDS —31 YOUR AUTOGRAPH PLEASE
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Page 32 text:
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30 - DEEDS AND MISDEEDS Killing time injures you much more than it does time. Two small boys, aged seven and nine, were discussing the much-moot¬ ed possibilities of visiting warmer but less comfortable regions when this so¬ journ shall have ended. “Do you believe in the devil?” the younger one asked with awe and re¬ spect. “Naw,” said the worldly nine-year- old with complete confidence and a slight sneer, “he’s the same as Santa Claus; he’s your father.” The other day we heard some un¬ earthly groans and shrieks in the direction of the assembly. Of course we were much frightened, but on further inspection we found it was only Miss Chester and the Glee club. Mr. Brown—“Say, what are you laughing at?” Bill Sutilef—“Oh, I was just think¬ ing of something.” Mr. Brown—“Thinking in class? Never let that occur again.” Mary Engle—“I think I’ll go home, my tongue is coated, isn’t it?” Miss Coffee—“Don’t worry, did you ever hear of moss growing on a race track?” Billy Brown—“Daddy, there’s a bug on the ceiling.” Mr. Brown (absent mindedly) — “Well, step on it.” Book Agent—“Is Mr. Thomas en¬ gaged?” Ruth Macklin—“I don’t know but all the kids are teasing him about it.” (Miss Sellemeyer)—“What are the army and navy for?” (Maynard Butcher) — “For? The army and navy forever.” (Danny Schafer)—“Do you ever read love stories?” (Erna Lankenau)—“No, but I’ve listened to a lot of them.” (Mr. Brown)—“Don’t you think Wadsworth was right when he said, ‘Heaven lies about us in our infancy’?” (Mr. Worthman)—“Surely, but he forgot to add that everybody lies about us in our maturity.” Miss Coffee—“William let’s hear your rhyme.” Wrn. Sutilef—“I was standing on the sidewalk under a tree. A young lady stepped in a puddle up to her ankle.” Miss C.—“That doesn’t rhyme.” W. S. ' —“O, well, the puddle wasn’t deep enough.” A Chinaman wrote the following bill to a grocer he had been hauling for: 10 coming. 10 going. 50c a went. $10.00 Please. Freshie—Where does your lap go when you stand up? Senior—I don’t know; where? Freshie—The same place your fist goes when you open your hand. W. B. G.—If twelve men could build a house in one day one man could build it in twelve days. J. M.—So if one ship could cross the ocean in seven days, seven ships could cross it in one day, and if one man could lay a brick in 60 seconds, sixty men could lay a brick in one second, no, they couldn’t lay a single brick. So I am not going to study Tithmetic.
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