Central Manual Training High School - Record Yearbook (Philadelphia, PA)

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Upon our arrival in the Warmer Regions, l was surprised to see among Charonfs crew, Al. jordan, George Duval and James Brown of the Manual '08 crew. But Charon was not free from competition, for Clement Swift had started a cattle boat line and was carrying people across ,at re- duced rates. In one corner I saw Robert Boyd. Criswell, Kite and Wyatt, the ofiicers of the Red-Headed League, who kept the room lighted by the radiation from their hair. Hearing a strangely familiar noise which reminded me of Mr. Astley's room in Manual, I walked into the next room and saw the Knocker'sAnvil Chorusf' composed of Russell Boyd, Craine, Bullock and Fendrich. In the next room the heat was terrific. I saw many steel tubes along the walls, which re- minded me of so many steam pipes. Here I espied Henry Waples, the second hand architect, who had designed the room, Upon questioning him he pointed to Ellwood Burrows, Bussinger, C. Ellis, and McGrorty, who were talking into these tubes, and told me that these four kept all the other rooms warm with their hot air. Reading a newspaper, I learned that Albert Hansen had started a revolution and was expected to succeed the Old Man himself as master of the realm, He had been spirited away by the Stroller bunch, however, and when I saw him last, he was tied to a post, while around him danced Ewing, Furstenau, and Kellar, who were pelting him with cabbage, potatoes. etc. This reminded me of the David Garrick play and dance. In the Poet's Corner, I saw Pete Young, A. Davis and Kahn. Driving the imperial water wagon I saw Raymond Nye and Walt. Young. Beck and Chickering in order to utilize their enormous growths of hair were forced to act as shade trees. In a room all by himself, I saw Sidney Williams. All over the walls I read, I, I, I, Me, Myself, and I did this and other equally modest statements. L 86

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which I could not understand. As he stopped I was surprised to see Henszey, but his partner, whom I recognized as George Campuzano, continued-don't turn away, young man, you feller with the green necktie, we all see that the young lady on your arm is a-dyin' fer to see the hippo, faint hearts never won a wimmin,-there you are, sir,-go-and be happy. Among those taken in by this combination were Lawson, Judah and Leslie. Here also, I saw Wiesen, Ellershaw and Wells, the living skeletons. The trio had to sit in one chair, so as to cast a shadow and present a side view. I heard that originally there were four of these things, but P. Kelly, the fourth, while bathing, had neglected to insert the stopper and had slipped through the drain pipe. He was rescued by plumbers Perry and Pommer. Walking along Main Street, I came across Magee's Beer Garden. Here Shimp and Ryder were waiters, Swing was moving picture man Che secured tha.t position by moving in the class pic- turej, Olden played the piano and Philip Rosenfeld manipulated the violin and its agitator, while Sacks and Moses executed popular songs. ' I passed a grocery store kept by janowski and Jahu, and a moving picture parlor kept by McKee and McClellan, here I heard Sparks and Rambo in a musical duet. But when McPherson came on and related some of the jokes published in the Red and Black of 1909, I could stand it no longer, and left. . I saw Atherholt, captain of a salvation army corps 3 also Saunders and Waters, who had recently been baptized. As my companion was a member of the immaterial world, he had access to all the unseen king- doms, and he took me for a trip to heaven. Peeping in through the keyhole, I saw George Washington and Howard Bollinger. In the purgatory I saw Krewson, Wyllner, Birney and McKnightg from the troubled looks on their faces, I surmised that the doors to heaven would not be opened for a long time to come. We then took a trip to The Other Place. On the road I saw Louis Zislin and Goldenberg. who were refused admittance to heaven, and even the devil himself, was afraid to allow them to enter, for fear they would own the place in a month. 85

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1. N Upon the bulletin board I saw the names of several new arrivals and their reasons for com- ing :-Thoumsin, a poor man, was blamed for being a poor manager, and consequently his com- ing, Albert, a rich man, was accused of being dishonest, therefore his visit, Cornwell was in poli- tics, and therefore considered a grafter, while Barratt who kept out of politics was forced upon the devil because he was considered an undesirable citizen. Daniel, a steady church-goer, came be- cause he was called a hypocrite, Harway, who stayed away from church, was judged to be a sinner and was put on the same train, Pyne, who gave money for foreign missions, was accused of doing so for show, while Sepley, who did not contribute was considered a tight-wad. My companion then took me back to Philly. I Here I saw Admiral MacDonald in charge of a tug-boat and Rear Admiral Fiske, in charge of a mud-scow-other members of the crew I recognized as Fisher, Gouldner, lleisler and Harlan. Walking along Chestnut Street, I noticed that all the young ladies in the crowd seemed greatly excited, the reason soon became evident however, Bonsal, Mullen, Radford and Charlton were taking their daily promenade. The air became close now, so I took a walk along the Boulevard. Here I saw a large, magni- licent building, which I knew by its looks, must stand for all that is high and noble. Upon in- quiry, I learned that this was the new Central Manual Training High School. And it came to pass, that at the twelfth hour, there was much noise and clanging of sym- bols, and from the bystairs and highstairs there poured forth great multitudes. So was I swept along until I found myself in a large room, which is called in the language of the Dubs, the basement, and there was in the corner of this place, a thing of abomination, called the lunch counter, where they of purple and fine linen did eat. . I had need of having my emptiness filled, and tried to approach the place, yet could not, for the inhabitants of the house of Sayre did push and kick and tight like animals in the arena, and strange sounds filled the air, which I recognized, and which in the language of the Dubs soundeth 87 .