Central High School - Spokesman Yearbook (Erie, PA)

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Page Six PHALAN FOLLY June 21, 1939 Salesman Fails In Latest Deal I To Close Deal Dissolute Press fSpeciall New York, June 21.-Attempting to sell the Woolworth Building to William L. Newton for a cup of coffee in New York City late today, John E. Collins was arrested by Officer Al Brooks of the 41st prc- cinct police station and given a hearing before Judge T.Ezra Hitch. He was remanded to jail without bail. It was brought out at the hear- ing that Newton, having purchased the Brooklyn Bridge, Singer Build- ing, the Flatiron Building and Metropolitan Opera House for a total of twenty 1201 cents, became suspicious when he was offered the purchase of the VVoolworth Build- ing bv -Collins. Newton later testi- Zied that Collins may have been the one who sold him the other build- ngs. This is conceded as likely by police. who found out that the pris- oner had experience in making up while he was a dramatic player at Central High School in Erie. Police are going to give Collins a three-months' chance to sell the basement of the 41st Precinct police station to the rest of the inmates. If successful. he may further his operations in selling Sing Sing Prison to Colonel Lindberg, who is trying to find a place free from gathering crowds. RADIO CLUB ON AIR FOR PROGRAM Dunkle Barler's Loonier Radio Club will be on the air tonight for its regular weekly meeting. The confab will have as a premier for a snlendid program the admission of Clarence Mosier, George White, Russell Anderson and Harry Bur- kell into active membership. John Bossolt will lead group singing in the immortal bal'ad of fyou have no ideal and all members are ex- pected to stand by their radio sets and join in the throat-clearing. Harold Farkas will sing a saxa- phone solo on his mouth organ to close the program. Robert Suhanek has been chosen as Master of Cere- monies for this meeting. Inspector Critical Result of Fight With Banditti As a result of an embroglio with banditti late yesterday, William W. Kay, gas-house inspector for the First Ward, is resting uncomfort- ably in the padded cell at the Baehr-Battell Memorial Hospital. The police 1'iot-squad, after bomb- ing the Russick Fraternity house for Homeless Boys at Tenth and Cherry Sts.. picked up several sus- pects who were hiding in the corner sniffing cokes. They gave their names as G. Ashby White, R. Dem- erest Owen and L. Dichard Dro- zeski. According to the incoherent re- port of Kay. he was left on the! street with two discolored optics, a bent lunch-hook and a dent in the cupola. He received another dent gat the hospital when he was brought in, a nurse giving him a second clout when he tried to make love to her. VVhen one of the suspects began to weep. a complaint was lodged by inmates of the city hostelry, who were forced to hang from the raft- ers to escape being drowned. SMOKE SCREEN GIVES BOYS AWAY Accused of the dastardly crime of smoking cigarettes in a car at Tenth and Sassafras Sts., Robert Schluiaff and Beau Spaghetti, two notorious town youths, were hailed before Judge Davis Monday and given a hearing. They declared they did not need one as their hear- ing was very good. Judge Davis proceeded immediately to destroy their hearing. The youths were nabbed by Hawkshaw Shaner, a non-de- script member of the police force. His watch-dog tactics bore fruit when he saw smoke issuing from the car in which the boys were situated at the time. He was almost overcome by the smoke-screen which the boys threw up in their efforts to evade capture. Recovering from his exposure to the vile perfume, VVatch-dog Shaner gave chase and caught the vouths rounding the corner of Tenth and Peach Sts. They will also be arraigned to- l . morrow on this charge as the corner at that point is supposed to be square. Stowaway Bird Expedition Re- counts Trip fHerewith is presented the first of a series of articles by Frank Weber, stowaway on Commander Cuckoo Bird's Antarctic polar expedition.J By Frank Weber fCopyrightedl Port of Kobault, A. C.-After a torturous fifteen hour battle with huge 20-cent cakes of ice floating about down here waiting for an ice- man's Tong war, we returned to this port with the South Pole in our possession. On our return jour- ney to civilization fErie, Pa.J we will either sell the Pole to the Mu- tual Telephone Company or to X Hugh Riley's Barber Shop and pos- lsibly to the Literary Digest for their straw voting. I It has been man's brute strength pitted against the forces of Nature that highlighted our successful venture down here in Nell's Acres. I made a foolish mistake when I brought along arctics for this trip. il should have purchased a pair of Antactics for the South Polc area. fT0lTl01'1'ONVZ morel . AEROPLANE. FALLS: SO DOES MABIE Racing through the night air at 300 miles an hour, an aeroplane piloted by Colby Mabie stalled in the air over Wattsburg, Pa., at three-thousand feet altitude and fell in a cabbage patch owned by the Honorable Percival Foo Nunes at six o'clock last night. When Pilot Mabie hit the ground with his iron rib he made a de- 'clevity of 15 feet into the hard iearth. He sustained no injuries iother than having two cabbages driven into his ears. He now has what the box-fighters call 'tcabbage fears or cauliHower adornmentsf' , The Honorable Nunes seemed ifurious over the catastrophe which visited him so unexpectedly. He claims that Mr. Mabie can have X two patches from his cabbage patch for the seat of his trousers after l he is through kicking him.

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June 21, 1939 PHALAN FOLLY Page Five LEAGUE EJECTS HU TER E : 0 n l A V Results Disastrous Gfamte Path Ruufed Tragedy Marks as Fire Destroys AS Bounce lS,G1Ve11 P Daily School Russack Dugout Former EUC Youth Rush to Eat Fire of undetermined origin, By Geneva Co 1'1' esponderzt Dissolute Press. breaking out last night in the Rus- sack Pharmacy, 10th and Cherry Sts., rendered fifty Central stu- dents homeless. Chief Abraham Silin, rushing to the fire, rushed into a telephone pole and was rushed to the hos- pital. His condition is reported as serious by hospital attaches, who removed two books from his feet. Climbing a ladder to do an Atlas on the roof, Pipeman Allan Wilson, of Company No. 3, missed his foot- ing and caught up with tive feet of cement walk. His head will be mended as soon as Patsy Bruno opens up his shoe repair shop to- day. Because the siren on his machine failed to work, Bill Trost attempted to make a hissing sound and blew out three front teeth on his way to the fire. CHARLOTTE MERWIN WINS ACCLAIM FOR MASTERFUL PLAYING A standing room only sign was hung out at the Perry Theatre last night when the Charlotte Merwin Company presented the comedy Three Faces to a capacity house. Miss Merwin's superb acting clouded the performance of her leading man. Robert Deckard. It was found by our inquiring re- porter this morning that some cul- prit had substituted Deckard's body for the S. R. O. sign in front of the theatre. Captain of Police Chester Davis will investigate the happen- ing. RECITATION FATAL TO FORMER ERIEITE By Dissolute Press. Polka-Dot, Pa., June 2l.-Becom- ing incensed because his teacher asked him to recite, George Gam- batese, a student at the Poke School of Ticknology, threw a fit and when he fell down, broke his collar. When the teacher apologized for his rash act Georgie broke down and wept profusely. The lad prom- ised to recite at least twice every school year. Gambatese is ex- pected to set an all-time speaking Dissolute Press CSpecial Dispatchl 1 Geneva, Switz., June 21.-A p- pearing here before the League of Abrasions as the official unofficial representative of the United States, Payson L. Hunter tried late yes- terday to present a plan to league members that would outlaw war and was instantly ejected. Hunter ruined the million dollar granite steps of the Peace Palace when he was thrown out on his head. After the ejection of Hunter, League members went back to their work of arranging a mammoth Fourth of July celebration by en- ideavoring to draw Bosnia and Rus- sia into a war. Guarding himself with a pound of Limburger cheese and a clothes- pin, Hunter will make another at- itempt tomorrow to get in the hall I by gassing the members out. iNEWTON CONTRACT l BROKEN AS MILK FAILS TO APPEAR Failing to supply Strong Vincent High School with their daily amount of milk yesterday, Billy Newton. owner of the Fig-Newton Dairy Co., Belle Valley. was let- down by the school directors when that august body, in session today, broke their milk contract with him. When asked the cause for the near tragedy, Newton declared that his one and only cow, Boscoe, had been t'hexed and failed to furnish the daily amount of milk yesterday. Newton, bankrupt over the oc- currence, plans to rejoin the gar- bage men's union, Belle Valley Local No. 8. TEACHER MONUMENT ORDERED TORN DOWN Due to the insistence of several civic clubs in the city, the statue of Irma Weinheimer, which has stood record for the school by doing this. He is a former student of Central High, Erie, Pa. Oskywow, Pa., June 21.-In an endeavor to halt a group of pupils from rushing to the cafeteria of the Oskywow High School at this place, Principal Elmer G. Frail was trampled underfoot and killed yes- terday. It marked the first catas- trophe in school history. Just what disposition will be made of the case is not known. An examination of the former princi- pal's face will be made by Coroner Gaadt to see what make of heel- plates caused the tragedy. An ef- fort will be made to round up the slayers. I-IOWLING NOISE DRIVES AWAY CROWD When he was refused admittance to hear Jack Crawford and his Vic- Ntor Recording Band at Peeve K l l Stulakos-on-the-Take last night, Claire Sullivan, former Central High School youth, set up such a howling noise that 150 couples fcustomersb were driven away from the doors, believing that the noise was the music made by the orchestra. Peeve Stulakos, when he heard of the occurrence, brought a damage suit against Sullivan in Jovial Court for five cents 1597. Whether the can collect the huge amount from Sullivan is considered doubtful by court attaches as Sullivan has been unemployed for the last few months. The howling also made itself known over the radio network of station WRACK and listeners-in immediately petitioned Washington for a discontinuance of the station, believing that it was up to its old tricks. on the southeast corner of Tenth and Sassafras Streets for over nine years, will be torn down according to an announcement from Mayor Harold Weber's ofiice. The statue having been so de- faced and so marred by irresponsi- ble students that it is no longer a credit to the prominent corner will be done away with to make room for the B. Butler Drug Store, deal- ing solely in ice cream sundaes,

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if ' ! is 'is c h s up an c I1 s . -W- Class VVill -1--ngr We the Senior Class of '29 under the false impression that we are to graduate from one C. H. S. of Erie, Pa., considering the uncertainty of our high school life, and being in a state of mental depression, do hereby make and publish this our last will and testament. This noble class of illiterates bequeaths unto certain unreliable individuals the ensuing articles, properties, habits, deformities, vices and liabilities: Jeanette Albracht wills her great, old driving ability to Janet Disque.' A Arthur Clough donates his ability to differentiate between Marion and Lucille Nick to Jacob Haller, Jr., John Ashby and Colbie Mabie. Virginia Leet leaves her dancing skill to Mabel Backstrom. Helen Weschler and Harold Weber will their sentimentality to Helen Chamber- lain, Ralph De Coursey, Margaret Kitchen, Donald Robins, Robena Harper, Eugene Atkinson or any other pair of lovelorn individuals. Rosalie Haisman devises her weakness for letter-men to Jane Swalley. Dorothy Diefendorf wishes her athletic prowess on to Edna May North and Muriel Root. Florence Alexander leaves her trick Russian boots to Isabelle DuMars. Linea MacDonald leaves an empty bag for Bob Ludwig to hold. Mary and Marguerite Strong bequeath their studious attitude unto Marion and Bertha Giek. Anthony Komosa wills his Polish Falcon sweater, No. 170. to the Smithsonian Institution. Esther Gosman's blue eyes to Miss Bryceg the uselessness of Leo Drozeski and Boyd Welsh to Victor McDonald and Guck Weber: Dorothea Wittmaak's chocolate ensemble to the Hershey Chocolate Companyg Flavia Quigley's red hair to anyone with a temper to match. Milton Eisenberg wills his Oxford bags to Frank Izzi to be cut down into a top- coat. Adele Illig and Gretchen Lang leave their fond friendship to Nettie Reichert and Josephine Quinn. Polly Nason bequeaths her trick gait to Kathryn Sherman and Dorothy Spector. Albert Tideswell wills his pugilistic efiiciency to Don Edwards. Betty Smart leaves her petiteness to Dorothy Bushy. , T. Z. Zahniser decrees his towering altitude to be divided up between Paul Hooper and Edw. Kemble. Donie Johnson's blushing smile to Pie Williamsg Robert Fittingis Tozier at- titude to Alfred Brooksg Beth Hughson's lease on Central Hi to Bernie Benjaming Betty Barben's sarcasm to Virginia Foulkg Chuck Blaze's oboe to his fifeg Spauld- ing Fegley's cheer-leading to Louie Kohlerg Conrad Johannesen's scouting ability to Dan Beardg Robert Miller's Ford to anyone who can make it rung Roland McCaughn's red roadster to Poplar Auto Wreckersg Tom Hitch's 'punch' to any worthy candidateg Durk Braggins' nautical terms to Davie Jonesg Erma Schwartzls profile to Norma Shearerg Theo. Little's bass voice to the Metropolitan Opera Com- panyg Ann Nason's Cadillac driving to Miss Simsg Clarence Mosier's motor cycle craze to Bob Rossg the Nick twins dancing ability to Ann Peningtong Bill Getty's newspaper editorials to Tom Sterrettg Frances Nagle's candy selling to Janet Meade, Mary Alice Hays' annual registration at Camp Caledon to Virginia Ashbyg James Condren's figure to George DeFazio. Harold Kramer leaves his haircut to some other cosmetic porcupineg Winnie Nagle's subdued nature to Hey Hey Rogersg Bill Shea's sweater to Mary Louise Greyg Jane Cowan's auburn hair to Jean Mclvorg Marion Zessinger's baby face to Foo Nunesg Cherie Baehr's summer outings to the Girl Scouts. Annabel Elfenbien's striking features to Greta Garbo. Madeline Wolf's weight to Betty Achert. 105