Central High School - Spokesman Yearbook (Erie, PA)

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Page Two PHALAN FOLLY June 21, 1939 PHALAN FOLLY Combined with the Central Spokesman Suspected and gassed by the Board of Subjugation. STAFF Owner J. T. Phalan Written by W. Bill Getty INITIATIVE This marks the first effort on the part of a Spokesman editor to include a regular newspaper in the school annual. Unless you take what is contained in its pages as a huge joke, a great effort of the editor shall be in vain. Because we wrote it in the spirit of jest and we want you to take it in the same spirit. We tried to pan everything and everybody around old Central and you'll be forced to admit we did it well-from princi- paul to janitor. If we missed you this time, do something prominent around school and break into next year's edition. So if you see your name in the present presentation and find that you've done something dumb, TEN YEARS FROM NOW, laugh! Laugh, you big bum! EXPOSTULATION and REPLY You FRAIL boy, said the teacher, You are PHALAN in your classworkf' - It will HIRT me, said the boy, if the SHEEN and SHADE of my classwork is attacked by you. I BENNETT your home and I find that your parents do not think you are doing WRIGHT, replied the teacher. UMERCERV' said the youth. Do they think their BOYKIN do everything? 'EVANS! shrieked the teacher, your recitations are TALLING on your class work! I'll have to see the DEAN. t'From now on I'll be a leaf- TURNER, spoke up the boy, if it SIMS my soul. HUGHES wonderful boy, you, replied the teacher. 'tAfter hearing that I am in a HAYES. I can hardly BRYCE up. INTERVIEWS WITH THE GREAT I once had a boy who always selected a back seat in the class- room to fall asleep in, while I was trying to impart knowledge to the class. When finally he irked me to such a point that I asked him where he received his training, he replied, I guess it sort of runs in the family. Becoming tired of the daily oc- currence, I 0rde1'ed the boy from the room. Picking up his belong- ings, he sauntered toward the door. Reaching there after a laborious process of putting one foot in front of the other, he slowly turned his Morpherian features in my direc- tion and asked in a most drawling voice: 'tWhere shall I go? I don't know where you should go, I replied, but Rip Van Winkle slept for twenty years in the Cats- kill Mountains- but maybe you haven't train fare enough to get there. HEROIC DEED The heroic act of a high school student yesterday saved the dirig- ible Los Angeles from being un- seen as the huge balloon passed in lazy flight over the heart of Erie. Principal Frail, notified of the ldirigible's appearance at Harbor- creek, attempted to sound the fire siren but got the shock of his life 12200 voltsl. The youth, passing by Mr. Frail, saw the occurrance and instantly Cyelled his brains out. The squeak was heard in every iclassroom and when teachers be- came terrified with the thought 'that mice were playing about, stu- dents mutinied and rushed pell- 'mell from the building. Charlie Shreve, playing with a pea-blower, shot at the balloon and ldamaged the gas bag. He is being Xheld for Detention Room. The yelling of the boy was a brave act. His brains will be res- cued and sent to the Smithsonian Institute as a relic of one fellow .who wasn't afraid to blow out his brains for old Central. LAWYERS F AINT Fire late yesterday, ravaging the Erie County Court House, destroy- ed the 1929 Class Will. Billy Newton, Bobbie Fitting and Roger Williams, lawyers who drew up the Will, were prostrated over the occurence as it required min- utes of effort to complete. l l l Y YW, Y W BLOW OUTS i l by l 1 O. O. Autotire . H, Y. .,,,, ,W .l Presented by Mr. Elmer G. Frail and opposed by Fritz McCabe, a prominent district attorney, a bill in the legislature provides for two school vacations yearly, each of six months' duration. Passage is doubtful. Because his pupils won an im- portant victory over Academy in Ping Pong, Principal Elmer G. Frail declared two holidays for the students-Saturday and Sunday. Instead of the usual procedure, that of tying a string around the finger to have somebody remember something, the State yesterday tied a rope around the neck of Bert Woodburn to remind him that such a thing as the killing of Inez Mercer isn't allowed nowadays. TRAGIC DEATH The terrifying practice of riding tricycles through school halls came to a tragic ending yesterday when Bobbie Fitting rode down two flights of stairs at Strong Vincent High and broke his neck. There is a ray of light in the death, however, for it will have the effect of awakening council members to the danger. The class of 1929 started the practice. The class of 1939 must end it. If not, then broken necks wil come often and soon. Erie parents are up in arms. Tricycle riding in halls must stop or else it will be stopped with+ broken necks. ACCIDENT Running down stairs at his home yesterday afternoon, Joe O'Keefe missed the first step and as a result mised them all, breaking his collar button. The youth is resting comfortably today under doctor's care. Kindly omit flowers. TOO BAD! Unable to attend the annual Folly banquet, Bob Bryan, re- porter, sent the following telegram: Unable to attend. Children are going out tonight and I must stay home with the nurse.

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AN - I rl-ls ANTIC EI 1 U ' BUT oUR DISPOSITION 'M FANTASY Member Dissolzl te Press Special Greased Wire Vol. I, No. 1 ERIE, PA., JUNE 21, 1939 WHAT PRICE GLORY WRIGHT AIR PL uncufsmn THNNPHS 'ILITIDESWELLIIII I I NATIIINAL IIIINTEST: GIVEN ALBIIIN BUF, T- I By Stajf Correspondent Dissolute Press fvery specialj ' ALBION, PA., June 31-Playing Schubert's well-known serenade,' Are We All Dead Yet in the' interscholastic country-wide cham-1 pionship music contest that camel to a close here last night, Strong! Vincent high's orchestra of Erie, Pa., won a beautiful cup for their masterful renditions. The cup car-I ried with it the United Statesl championship and 31.79 from the merchants of this place. Beautifully outfitted in red and black derbies, the Strong Vincent orchestra presented a striking ap- pearance. Critics were undecided today just what they were playing but their wholesome volume of noise impressed greatly. A minor acci- dent occured in the return journey. on the train when Jean Arrow-I smith, who attempted to get a drink with the trophy, swallowed the cup. A A welcome was planned for them at Erie when Strong Vincent stu- dents met the band with sledge- hammers and pick-axes. They are not all dead-yet. HISTORY TEACHER SOJOURNS IN JAIL Because she chewed gum in class and annoyed her students with a constant clacking, Florence Burger was sentenced by Judge Albracht in Erie County court yesterday to serve from three to three and a half hours in the city jail. She will oc- cupy cell No. 11. Miss Burger thor- oughly incensed over the treatment accorded her, retaliated by shoot- mg paper-wads through a pea- blower at the judge. She also crip- pled policemen Pethtel and Wilson permanently by kicking them in the shins as she was led off to the jail. I I I LAUIIEII FUR WIIHK Acclaimed as one of the greatest photographers ever to do Spokes- man work, Albert Tideswell has just completed a four-month's oc- cupation on the Strong Vincent high year book. The Strong Vin- cenites were loud in their praise of Tideswell's work, declaring that the pictures were exact likeness. The pictures were all blanks. Tideswell came into photographic prominence ten years ago when he snapped a picture of the old Cen- tral high school building for the Spokesman Board. The only thing missing from the picture was the building. Otherwise, the shade of night that the print produced was of an excellent variety. l-l.- VIRGINIA RENZ AT WASH CONFAB By Washington Correspondent Dissolute Press fSpecialJ WASHINGTON, June 21- Miss Virginia Renz, of Erie, Pa., will officially present to President Se- bert Anderson a new hobby horse at the horse show to be held in the House of Representatives tomor-I row. The horse show will displace! the opening session of Congress. Miss Renz, who was a prominent iequestrian of Central High, at Erie, ten years ago, sustained an injury when she fell off her high horse at the Algeria Riding Academy in, that city during her local promin-I ence. Since then she has been a representative of the Nofall hob- by horse. S SET LANDING SEIIIIET AS GIIILS PREPARE FUN EPIII IIIUIINEY By Staff Correspondent Dissolute Press Special Dispatch WASHINGTON, June 21-After the unsuccessful attempts of their brothers to Hy a lighter than air machine, the Wright sisters, former teachers in the old Central High at Erie, Pa., will attempt a take-off from Langley Dield here to an un- known destination in their new Speed Goddess aeroplane. They were reticent about discuss- ing their plans. Through an in- former, the Dissolute Press learned that they hoped to take along Jo- Anna Connell as ballast until they reached an altitude of 10,000 feet and then drop the balast. The ballad of an unsuccess- ful English student, Phalan with Connell, will be sung tonight over the N. B. C. net- work by Mabel Olsen from station I. C. U. CONFETTI PLANT PURCHASE IS MADE In one of the biggest business deals contracted here for some time, William Bud Hanley pur- chased the Dunn Brick works for 321.79 from its present owners to- day. The sale includes a lock, stick and barrel. The reason for his buying of the brickyard is not known, but it is viewed by some that Ireland is ready to start an- other war with the English .and that Hanley is preparing American aid for them. Hanley denied this, saying that his only aim in the fu- ture was to produce gold bricks. He may also do a Brooklyn bridge job for the Steve Brodie Company.

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June 21, 1939 PHALAN FOLLY Page Three B TTLE OF CENTURY CARDED Strong Vincent Defeats Zions In Great Game Riding roughshod over a team that was supposedly their superiors, Strong Vincent High School's Bit- ing Kernels defeated Coach William Shay's Academy Zions on Strong Vincent High School field yester- day afternoon by a score of 100 to 0. Piling up a huge score and hit- ting the Academy line with every- thing but the bleacher seats, the Red and Black paid uP 501119 Old scores that have existed for more than 15 years. A great crowd saw the game with Cheerleaders Shanor and Wallace performing brilliantly on the sidelines for Strong Vincent. The only casualty of the cruel fray came in the fourth quarter when Linesman Illig attempted to run between the goal posts. Both his shoulders were fractured. Because of a deficit in track funds, Professor Shanor arranged this football match for midsummer and was most fortunate in secur- ing the Zions as they were booked to attend a tea-party at Miss Adam's Tea Room, MARRIAGE LECENSES Marriage licenses, issued today at the courthouse by Register Agnes Chacona, find former Centralll-Iigh School students figuring prominent- ly. fThis story was placed on the sport page as a prediction that John Carney can arrange for several fights in his arena within the near futurei. The following licenses were is- sued: Adelle M. Illig, home: Donald Johnson, laborer. Beatrice Butler, soda-store own- erg Durker Braggins, ship's car- penter. Mary Louise Gray, geometry in- structor: Billy Shea, reporter. Virginia Renz, owner o f a horse: Bud Hanley, mortician funder- takerj. Muriel Root. America's foul- shooting champion, Rudolph Nebb, humorist. Dean and Wallace Ready For Opening Gong ln Audi Ring By Sport Despondent In one of the greatest fistic en- counters ever arranged for a local ring, Killer Howie Dean and, Guillotine Wallace will trot their! prowess before a packed house in Carney's Auditorium tomorrow night. The Battle of the Gentry is carded for 8:15 o'clock. Both the contestants were hope- ful on the eve of the contest. I am in perfect condition, said Wallace, after pounding desks at Central High School for eleven years. Dean, the pride of the East End District, assured himself a victory. Nobody else does. You know, he said, after studying Caesar, one learns how to lick an entire army. That's just what he'll have to do to- morrow night as Wallace packs a mean wallop in either lunch hook. As there is intense feeling in both camps, Hamot and St. Vincent's hospitals will remain open all night to care for the injured. Dan Han- ley also has a contract. ull- I i '1.Q' . I 5.5: rf . . xg, ii .Ri:5 iif3:-:- V e . , J ' l 1 ----. Qriffj ' f ::::::5a55:s:2:5:e .sa ' I -4g.,15:555fsff' l '5:-:-:-:-:- i:l:f.:.-ff: . i s . ' ','-, '.., 'a1.' l r 1. R ,IVSIQIEQ1 -- ,- A.-, -1555555-5,3 .-.I .,g rl . 5 ,Q , .Il e -.--: :-:-.- ' - ,gr kr H- ,-,., .5.:,.,.-1-1-1... , K - James J. Hyde, coach at Strong Vincent High School, who received a long prison term for ordering the pupils at the school to appear in gym suits in the gymnasium. He l l Pasadena Awaits Great Sectional Clash in Stadium By Sport Despondent Dissolute Press fSpecialJ Pasadena, Cal., June 21.-All Pasadena is anxiously awaiting the opening whistle that will send a strong Erie, Pa., team against the Pasadena Passengers on Regal Noble field here Thursday. It marks the annual Tournament of Moses festivity in this Western Hemis- phei'e. The Erie players, home from col- lege, will present a sti'ong lineup when they represent the East here. The Passengers claim they will an- nihilate the Erie aggregation. In that event the railroad company will refund one-half of the ticket- purchase money. All in all, it looks like a killing event. Because his players have been re- ceiving so many love letters from home, and also to guard against the Passadena threat, Coach James fRawl Hyde, Erie mentor, will have his team outfitted with the let- ters to form a coat of mail. Passadena refused to divulge their starting lineup. Following is the Erie array, the names having been released to newspaper obituary editors for publication immediately after the game: Left end, Collins, Doter Name: left tackle, Canni, Polk Institute: Left guard, Speer, Mulberry Bush Seminaryg Center, Ludwig, Broken Jaw U. of the College of Hard Knocks, right guard, Abe Silin. Yew Nork University: right tackle, Intrieri. Columbus Kindergarten: Quarterback, Tom Hitch, Georgia Tech fAtlanta Institutejg half- back, Jay Lyons, State Penn, half- back, Gerald Weible, Duke Cane Universityg full-back, Dwyer, Baker's Dozen Seminary. was prosecuted by Humane Society counsel who accused him of being cruel to dumb animals. Section 3. Article 2, of the Humane Penal Code states: All animals must be properly dressed before appearing in public places.