Central High School - Cosmos Yearbook (Houston, TX)

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GEOMETRIC EICVRE5 J lie ant was standing ' by the body of a dead horse. Overhead the sun was beating down mercilessly from a clear blue sky. 1 he ant had looked at the carcass wonderingly. Suddenly a man dropped some corn whiskey near the ant. The ant sniffed the fumes, wiggled his antennae, and hummed a ditty. He then drank one of the drops of whiskey. He licked his chops, his head swam, his eyes blurred, his antics became spiffy. He shivered his thorax and shimmied his antennae. 1 hen he took another drink. Seizing the carcass of the dead horse by its head, he said. “Come on, big boy. let ' s go home.” 1st flea (on Post Toastie box): “What’s your hurry?” 2nd flea: “Don’t you see that sign, ' Tear along the edge?’ ” Gladys Dunman: “Is that the gown you’re going to wear to the senior hop ?” have Campbell: No dear, so far 1 have decided on nothing

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“Why do you compare Sarah’s head to a door knob?” “—So easy to turn.” He: “I’m a little stiff from polo.” She: “You don’t say! I have some friends living ' there.” “Why name your boy Sears Roebuck?” “Because he is of the male order.” “Why is this fellow called a ‘Knight of the Garter?’ ” “Because he is one of the King’s chief supporters. ' Sweet sixteen : “Do you reallv love me? Naughty 19: Well. I’ve tried as hard as I could. “Did you ever hear the story of the Golden Fleece?” “No. Do they bite?” “I see where Poli Bara is using Corn Whiskey in the movies.’ “What for?” “To make’r reel.” “Is he lazy?” “Lazy? Why he ' s so lazy he rides in a Ford car in order to save the effort of knocking the ashes off his cigar.” She: “I ' m sorry, but I can’t return your ring.” Fie: “Well, then, just give me the pawn ticket.” TAKE IT ALONG ? Customer: “I would like to see some¬ thing Scotch.” Salesman: “She, not so loud. Come in the back of the store with me.” “I’ll get to the bottom of this yet, ' said Chas. Shofner, as he fell down the coal chute. I punished you merely to show my love for you,“ said the fond father, after chas¬ tisement. “T-that’s all right,” sobbed the small boy, “but it’s a g-good thing for you I ain’t big enough to return your love.— that’s all.” FAMOUS SAYINGS OF FAMOUS PEOPLE. Mr. Johnson: 1 love the ladies. Miss Beard: “The first hundred years are the hardest.” Tom Crowder: “Don’t give up the ship.” Satan (sharpening pitch forks): “Next!” Sir Walter Raleigh (to Queen Eliz¬ abeth) : “Step lively. Queen (to Sir Walter Raleigh) : “Keep your shirt on. Lillie Rice: “Hold your horses.” “Order, Order!” shouted Mr. Simons. “I’ll take a fried ham sandwich,” said Seth Hathaway, just awaking. Mr. Brandenberger (angrily catching frisky freshman by the collar) : “I be¬ lieve the devil has got hold of you. Fresh: “1 believe he has, too.” Bernice D.: “Oh, Hoover, you tickle y me. Hoover: “Aw, you tickled me first.”

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Wanted—To he on time to class just once. Walter Putnam. It was election day at Central and Harry Mc¬ Cormick was witnessing the event. Mr. Moyes came along and said, “Harry, you wouldn’t sell your vote, would you?” “No, sir, 1 sure wouldn’t, but if any boy run¬ ning for office was to give me two bits, 1 would vote for him out of common gratitude.” UNDISCOVERED. Breathes there a man with soul so dead who ne’er to himself hath said, as he banged his toe upon the bed: XX!! EX—? Miss Lovelace: “Why were you tardy today, Herbert?” Herbert Tigner: “Well, the clock was slow, the cook was late and the car got off the track.” Miss Lovelace: “What else, Herbert?” Herbert Tigner: “My goodness, ain’t that enough!” Margaret Ewing: “I wish 1 had a pony for Latin.” Althea: “Shucks, a pony! I need a mule.” Eliz. John: “Mr. Johnson wishes us to save space in the ‘Cosmos’ for a speech of his.” Miss Staggs: “Never mind, Elizabeth, we have enough jokes already.” Jim Bayles: “Where’s the funny paper?” Bill Bailey: “Today ain’t Sunday. I told you not to take that bath last night.” “Why so sad?” “I just told the Prof, to mark my words.” “And did he?” “Yeah, with a zero.” GERALDINE SAYS— I wore a racy evening gown Direct from Paris, France. The chaperons would stare at me, When ' round their way I ' d dance. The girls all gasped, the boys all looked— I gave them all an eyeful. I don’t see why it caused a stir, Lor it was just a trifle. Donald Pool: “Tate, is that snow?” Tate Simpson: “No, fool, that’s just the angels dandruff.” Abie: “Mommer, what do cows live out” Momma: “Fodder, Abie.” Abie: “Oi, I didn’t think papa w ' as so gen¬ erous.” RECIPROCITY. 1 kept a diary in my youth, And in a way absurd Wrote down in undiluted truth What day by day occurred. All my flirtations, all my sprees, 1 wrote out in detail The many, many darling “shes” 1 noted without fail. 1 wed—she found the book and knew The awful life I’d had But then—I found she’d kept one too And it was just as bad. “What are they playing now?” “Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony.” “What! Have we missed the other eight?” “Are you interested in art?” “Not well enough to call him bv his first name.” “The 21st day of December is the shortest day in the year.” “Yes,” mused the young thing in black velvet and ermine jacket,—“and the longest night.” A woman bought one of the new dresses-— “with the back to the front effect.” S he went to a dance, and there met a short sighted acquain¬ tance,—he shook hands with her shoulder blades. At a school dance a sign was seen which read: “Girls! No dresses are to be worn above the knees.” Sheiks: “Most girls claim they could die danc¬ ing with me.” Meek: “Well it does look rather hazardous.” THE NIGHT BEFORE ' AS CIRLy THIS IS ELMER LITTLE!