Central High School - Almanac Yearbook (Toledo, OH)

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THE 1914 ALMANAC BUMPED. A group of navvies was proceeding along a street, all convulsed with laughter. Every now and then they would stop and slap each other on the back. A policeman seeing them, wished to share in the joke, and going up to them asked: XYhat's the game This occasioned another fresh out- burst from the navvies, and then they explained. You know that 'igh building at the end of the street? XVell, that was on fire. Not a blessed stair was left, and old Bill 'e was on the top. and dancing abaht like a bantam. So I yells to 'im, 'E-ill, jump, an' we'll catch yer in a blanketf an' 'e jumped but we 'adn't got no bloomin' blanket! AN EXCELLENT REASON. Is there any good reason why I should give you five cents asked the well-dressed elderly man of the youth who accosted him. lYell, said the small boy, as he retired from the danger zone, if I had a nice high hat like yours I wouldn't want it soaked with a snowball. Mr, Pollock Cat Senior dancel- Say, there's a splinter in my tongue. Silliman- There must be a stick in the punch. POPULAR SONGS. Bobhing Up and Down --Starr and Maumee car. Get Uut and Get L'nder -Harpst and his Regal. You Made Me Love You -Tessie Trudeau. 4. International Rag. -Iohnson's ties. KA' Isle D'Armour -Sugar Island-Class Day. I'd Love to Quarrel IYith You -Bill and Charlotte. I'd Rather Be a Minstrel Man -The two Gerbers. If Sweethearts''-DeI-Iaven and L'r1nah. It's easy enough to be pleasant XYhen life goes along like a song, But the man worth while Is the man who can smile When you go to your class and you don't know your lesson and Miss Dunlap says, Now you may give titles of the lirst twenty chapters of English Liter- ature, the sub-titles. the color of Shakespeare's eyes. the number of hairs on Milton's head, and the evidence in favor of George Eliot's being a suf- fragettef' 200

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THE 1914 ALMANAC Old Mr. Anderson, who was fond of relating stories of the war, after the Christmas dinner was over mentioned having been in live engagements. That's not so muchf' said little Edgar, suddenly. XYhy, Edgar! cried his scandalized mother: what do you mean P Five isn't manyfy persisted Edgarg sister Edna has been engaged nine times. The newly married couple had gone IVest to live. and as the Christmas season drew nigh she became homesick. Even the owls are different here. she sighed, And how is that ? he asked. Here they say 'To-hoot-to-whof and in lloston they say 'To-l1oot- to-whomf i i I H. Gerber- XYhere are you going tonight, Fred? Krieger fsweetlyj- Out t' XYare's. Gerber- That's what I asked you: where are you going? Krieger lmore sweetlyij- Out t' XYare's. Gerber- Say, are you crazy? XYhere are you going. Krieger fnot so sweetl- Out 1' XYare's. Gerber- For the last time. XYHERE ARE YOU GOING ? Krieger- HUT T' XYARE'S. fThen the light startedfb AND IT XYAS. A teacher recently received the following from the mother of an ab- sent pupil: Dare mam: please eggscuse XYilly. I-Ie didn't have but one pair of pants an' I kep him home to wash them and Mrs. O'toole's goat some and et them off the line and that awt to be eggscuse enuff, goodness nose. Yours with respeck. Mas. B, A man sat on a high board fence, XYith his feet upon the ground.-Longfellow. Avyilllt- xYllCI'C is the best place to hold the XYorld's Fair? F. Rooney- In your armsfl 'Tm sorry to see you in such a state. old friend. said the visitor at the hospital, cheerily. XVhat on earth happened to you? I fell off the roof-that's all, groaned the sufferer. Thats interesting. I have an opportunity to prove an old theory here. They say that when a man falls from a great height he thinks of all his sins before he hits the ground. Now. is that true. Did you do that ? XVell, I didnlt have time to think of quite all of them. You see, I only fell five stories. 199

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THE 1914 ALMANAC FACULTY COLUMN. l'He could tell the time of day By means of algebra. -Mir. Maz'lz.ias He was the mildest mannered man. -Mr. Travis Never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you. -Mr. King She is young, but give her time. -Miss lVaz'fe The smile that was childish and bland. -Mr. Clzajvmau I frown the while, tho' cheerful am within. -Miss Dunlap I have never seen anything worth getting angry for. -Miss Gates 'lHigh aims bring out great minds. -Mr. lVelIs His friends, they are manyq His foes, are there any? -Mr. Pawlicck f'It is all Greek to me. -Miss Jlif. Ryan XYhere have I heard that name before -Miss Barielle He is a man through and through. -Mr. Pollock A FRESHMANS ESSAY ON BREATHING. XVe breathe with our lungs, our lights. our kidneys and our livers. If it wasn't for our breath we would die when we slept. Our breath keeps the life agoing through the nose when we are asleep. Boys who stay in a room all day should not breathe. They should wait until they get out in the fresh air. Boys in a room make bad air called carbonicide. Carbon- icide is as poison as mad dogs. A lot of soldiers were once in a black hole in Calcutta and carbonicide got in there and killed them. Girls sometimes ruin their breath with corsets that squeeze the diagram. A big diagram is best for the right kind of breathing. Geneyra Grover went into a store to buy some spring ginghams. Are these colors fast she asked the clerk. Yes, indeed. he replied earnestly: you ought to see them when once they get started to run. n POKER TERMS IN C. H. S. One pair-Gus and Mary Emily. Two pair-DeHaven and Urmah, Krieger and Mildred. Three of a kind-Esther Graves, Marian Thompson, Ruth Collett. Full house-Room 16. Singing period. Flush-Chambers' face. Four flushferj-Greene. Straight-Mr. Gayman. Queen of I-Iearts-Tessie Trudeau fby special requestj. Morgan plays the piano-doodle-da-dee! And he bangs in every imaginable key, Till his brow with honest dew is wet And neighboring Hats are marked To Let. But all the girls stay near to see How he plays his wonderful doodle-da-dee, And watch him with eyes that shine As he wrings out music .almostf Pj divine. 201