Central High School - Almanac Yearbook (Toledo, OH)

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IlllllllllllllllllllllllllillllPllllllllllllllllllllllilllll:IllIillllI'iIiIilIlllllHIlllllllllllllllllllilllllillllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllliilllllllllllllllllllllllillllllllllllll!lll1lili1ll.llYlllllllilllillllillllll'NWlllaallllllllllllill l IL. TOLEDO U IVERSITY ga geleuitifipal jlnstitutiun Affords opportunity to EVERY graduate of the Toledo High Schools to secure a regular college education at minimum cost. Membership in the Ohio College Association is evidence of high scholar- ship. PH,D,, PRESIDENT University Building. Corner Eleventh and Illinois Sts. illlllllllliillliilillllllllllllllllllllllllllHlllIll'I'l'llllHHlllll!lllllll'lilllll'lf'Ill-lilliflllllllllllllil ' -lll,l1lllllllllllllllll'll'll 'fiillilllliilllllllllllllllllllllQl.l2l llllllllllllllllll!lllEl!Ilifll'l'll' Mll.1,lllli,li1l1l Every One Likes to Trade With a Friend COYERT is a friend to every fellow in C. H. S. If you want to get a square deal in Sporting Goods, see T0Ivd0's Largest and Ou!-v E.i'vIzrsiz'c Sf0I'l'I'lIQ Goods Store. 334 SUPERIOR ST. COVERT BROS. 192

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THE 1914 ALMANAC A young lady took down the receiver of the telephone one clay and dis- covered that the line was in use. I just put on a pan of beans for dinner, she heard one woman com- placently informing another. She hung up her receiver and waited for the conversation to end. Upon returning to the telephone, she found the woman still talking. Three times she waited, and then at last. becoming exasper- ated, she broke into the conversation. Madam, I smell your beans burning, she announced crisply. A horritied scream greeted the remark. and the young lady was able to put in her call. FRIENDLY DISPCTE. Cine day there came into the clinic a negress with a broken jaw. The examining physician, intent on discovering the exact nature and extent of the injury, asked numerous questions. To all of them the negress returned evasive answers. Finally she admitted that she was hit by an objectfi XVas it a large object or small object asked the physician. Tolle'by large. Il'as it a hard object or soft object F Tolle'by hard. vias it coming rapidly or slowly? 'fTolle'by fast. Then. her patience exhausted, the negress turned to the physician. To tell the truth, doctor. I was just simply kicked in the face by a gen'leman friendf, Mrs. Canfield Cat Toledo Beachl- Now, you must be very discreet with the young men you may meet here. Demaf' Dema-HI know. mama: they scare dreadfully easy. Florence Black- Did you get all the questions in the test ? Cecil XYisler- Yes, but I didn't get all the answers. UNFORTUNATE. Country Grocer- XYell, little boy. do you want to buy some candy? f'Sure I do. but I gotta buy soap. TRULY RURAL. Two young girls were spending their summer vacation in the country. Do you know. said Edith, that young farmer tried to kiss me. I-Ie told me that he had never kissed any girl before. XYhat did you tell him F XYhy, I told him I was no agricultural experiment station. CQRIE AGAIN. lXIamma, Catherine don't tell the truth. said her little sister. XYhy, you mustn't say such things, replied her mother. XVell, last night I heard her say, 'Clarence if you do that again I'll call mamma' And he did it twice more and she didn't callf' 191

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THE 1914 ALMANAC A MANS ANSXVER. -lohn! shouted his wife, in the middle of the night. John snored a bit louder, and turned over. .lohn! she said with increased emphasis. . 'XYhat is it grunted John. Get up. The gas is leaking! Aw, put a pan under it and come back to bed ! Minnie Redding was complaining to Corinne just before Christmas of the way he ffrom Case School, Clevelandj was treating her. Speaking of Christmas presents, why don't you give him the mitten Corinne asked. 'fIt isn't a mitten he needs: it's a pair of socksg heis got cold feet. THE GOQD SAMARITAN AND THE SINNER. A good-natured man going home late at night spied a man leaning limply against a doorway. XYhat's the matter? he asked: drunk liyepl!! XYant me to help you in ? Yep XYith difnculty he carried the drooping figure up to the second floor. Is this it. Do you live here? Yep Rather than face an angry wife the good-natured man opened the first door, pushed the limp Hgure in and closed the door. Then he groped his way downstairs. As he came out he saw another man apparently in worse condition than the Hrst. XYhat's the matter F he asked: you drunk too F Yepf' same the feeble reply. Shall I help you upstairs ? llglfepyl The good Samaritan carried him to the second floor, where this man also said he lived. opened the same door and pushed him in. As he again reached the street he saw a third man, evidently worse off than either of the others. As the good Samaritan approached. however, the man fled up the street and threw himself into the arms of a passing policeman. Off'sher,', he gasped, l deman' p'tection from thish man. Hes car- ried me upsthairs twice'n thrown me down the elevator shaftf' A banker was in the habit of wearing his hat a good deal during busi- ness hours. as in summer the flies used his bald pate for a parade ground, and in winter the cold breezes swept over its polished surface. A negro workman on the railroad each week presented a check and drew his wages: and one day, as he put his money in a greasy wallet. the banker said: Look here, Mose, why don't you let some of that money stay in the bank and keep an account with us P The negro leaned toward him, and with a quizzical look at the derby the banker wore, answered confidentially: Boss, I's afeared. You look like you was always ready to start some- wheresf' W 19?