Central High School - Almanac Yearbook (Toledo, OH)

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One of d' gods Cthere wuz a Whole raft of 'ernj gave him a hunch, an' he flew d' coop in d' night. When Dido saw he wuz gone, she built a big bonhre an' drank carbolic acid, an' stabbed herself, an' jumped in d' fire, and' dat wuz ci' finish of Dido. But it never fazed Eneas, he bobbed up serenely, an' sailed to a place called Sicily. He didn't mean to go dere but jes' natcherly Went sailin' around, an' the first thing he knew-he wuz on d' spot. There- he had a sort of free-for-all picnic an' Field Day, races an' thingsj When d' crowd got together out at d' Fair Grounds, Eneas stood up on d' band stand and yelled troo' d' megaphone dat d' A irst t'ing on d' pro- gram wuz d' Interna- tional Yacht race, fer neck ! Ii dll Qi d' Trojan Challenge . Cup. A 5, ,gif 51' Dere were four en- .QQ iii .tries d' four captains I k,l'gfT!T I ' get 'V wuz-say. dey had wail? 'Q ' di wielfdest ,namesl ' I x p. ,,,,, ,dlp but Jes call ern, fer 1- .Lili if short Tom Geor e if 11-wir ,I ,,i, A 7 7 g 7 I .f5F Tiii3l2' Billy an-an-Well ,,--. , . , , nu H1 11 nm, ,say jimsey. 7 E MI' if ' After dey,'d jock. , Z Ll ' ey'd behind 4-1' line, dl . ' gg., 13' -7'-:Q startin' gun wuz fired , an' away dey went! V p First, Tom, second, jirnseyg den Billy an' 'i-,i 51',li Wu-fliiiilvil' Georg Cv Heck an' ZEneas stood up on d' band stand. . Dey all chased down l A d' line t' beat th' band, but the excursion boats got in the way, an' th' pilot wot steered Cap. Torn's ship wuz scared of d' rocks, and turned too far out, dat made Tom hnffy, an' he grabs ol' Mr. Pilot by d' slack of his uniform an' truns hirn in d' drink, an' does d' pilot act himself But Iirnsey gets a good lead, an' keeps it. Billy tried t' work a

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at you, but w'en a goddess mixes up you're goin' t' get set back to d' fourth row of d' gallery, sure. A -' But dese Trojans took deir nerve right- wid 'em an' bluffed it through till dey reached a place called Carthage. De shiners run ' in some Trojans, an' dey t'ought it was all oil' wid dem an' dey wuz dead scared. i Di women voted in dat town, an' d' mayor wuz a woman, Dido, an' she wuz boss of d' whole shebang. W'en his fellers wuz hauled up in P'lice Court ZEneas says, f'Look here, Mrs. Mayor, I want t' know w'y you're ipullin' in my gang, they wuzn't doin' nothin', an' if you won't let us alone we'll get out. 'Sure,5' says Dido, suit yourself, but d' police hadn't any business t' bother you, an' I'll have, 'em up on d' carpet-fer it next Week, so you needn't get out fer that, jes' stay an' make yerself at home. So she gave dem a ward fer themselves, an' put a couple of Trojans .on d' Council so dey'd get rich, an' one fwho'd been connected wid d' Troy Fire Department, and so had d' right kind of experienceg on d',Board of Education, so heid make d' town poor, an' all d' Trojans wuz respected and public-spirited citizens wot wouldn't knock d' Centennial er vote fer cl' Gas Plant. But Dido made Eneas tell all about his adventures. He wuz a bully talker, an elegant liar, an' a widower, so he suited Dido right down to 'di ground. She fell 'in love wid him, w'ich wuz hard luck for her. Eneas was a giddy .young t'ing, an' had no objections to a mild flirtation, but w'en Ashe began t' talk about lawyers an' breach of promise, he tiought he'd better leave his happy home an' make-tracks. ' He tipped d' wink t' his captains, an' ,dey began t' load on coal an' get up steam. I ' , .'Bnt one of Dido's friends got next to wot wuz happenin' an' called her up by long-distance phone, an' told her wotwuz goin' on down at d' coal docks. I Den she went to Father ZEneas Qcley always called him papal ani gave him a speil wot would do yer hair up in curl papers. .Well, as I wuz sayin', Bueas didn't say much back to her, he-,wuz too p'lite to sass a woman, 'specially w'en she wuz mayor anhchief ot police, but he cert'ny wished she wuz at Ten Mile Creek iisliin fer- sunnsh, an? dat's no dream. A

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skin game, an' went in too far an' hit d' rocks, an' little Willie wuz up against it an' out of d' game. But Iimsey hikes along, runnin' easy an' gettin' his second wind-he's a winner, he is!- an' takes first money, George gets second prize, Tommy, widout a pilot or a pleasant thought, gets third, an' Billy, he gets it in d' neck, fer his boat wuz as full of holes as a Filipino is of bad t'oughts. Then they had a runnin' race, a hundred yard dash, wid college yells an' colors. Two of d' runners wuz from d' same college, and dey worked in snucks. All of 'ern wuz ten-second men, an' at d' crack of d' pistol dey began to run like diamond dyes. One of d' ringers got d' start, den came a feller from another college, den th' other ringer, whose partner wuz first. D' cinder path wuz slippery an d' first man fell, but he knocked number two man oh' his pins, too, so his pal won d' race. D' second man kicked, an' said it wuz a fake race an' that he Wanted his money back, an' that the other feller wuz a profes- sional, anyhow. Nope, says Mr. Pineas, you can't kick on th' umpire's decision, but you had hard luck, so I'll give you a consolation prize on th' side. Then th' other bloke wot fell down said he wou1dn't play if he didn't get a prize. I tell yer, Dink, them fellers wanted th' earth, w'y, they couldnlt get a pleasant look nowadays if they tried tl work th' judges! Next came th' boxing match, wid seconds an' backers, an' side bets, an' kinetoscopes, an' reporters, an' all th' other neces- sary things. Wot? Oh, yes! There wuz two bruisers, too, I fergot 'em ! A feller called Dares fprob'bly because he wanted t' risk his neck in a nghtj held dl heavy-weight championship belt. Dares wuz a warm member, an' dere werenlt no challengers, till an old bloky called Entellus got up an' says, Oh, well, I don't care if I dog I'm kind of a has-been, but I think I can hold this teller fer a while, till he gets a reputation. So he puts on the mits, an' time is called. Entellus went easy at first, jes' on the defensive, an' Dares tried all the leads he knew, hooks an' jabs an' swings an' short-